This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments show:
- Consistent, nuanced views on gender, identity, and acceptance of one's body.
- Personal investment in the topic, offering support and understanding that aligns with a desister/detransitioner perspective.
- Natural language with varied sentence structure and emotional resonance.
The passion and conviction present are consistent with a genuine individual who has personally grappled with these issues.
About me
I was a teenager when I started feeling deeply uncomfortable with my body, especially when my breasts developed. I was very vulnerable and found online communities that convinced me I was a transgender man, so I started testosterone and had top surgery. For a while I felt better, but I eventually realized my depression and anxiety were still there, and changing my body hadn't fixed my real problems. I now see my desire to transition was an attempt to escape my struggles, and I deeply regret the permanent changes I made. Today, I believe we focus too much on gender, and I'm learning to accept myself as the woman I am.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was a girl who felt very uncomfortable, especially when I went through puberty. I hated the changes happening to my body, particularly the development of my breasts. I felt like they didn't belong on me and that they made people see me in a way I didn't want to be seen.
Back then, I was also dealing with a lot of mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and very low self-esteem. I felt confused and lost. I spent a lot of time online and found communities and friends who suggested that all my discomfort might be because I was transgender. They told me that my problem was that I was actually a boy, and that transitioning was the way to become free and finally feel comfortable in my own skin. This made a lot of sense to me at the time; it felt like an answer to all my problems. I now see that I was easily influenced during a very vulnerable time in my life.
I started my transition by identifying as non-binary, but that quickly shifted to identifying as a transgender man. I began taking testosterone when I was 19 years old. The changes happened fast. Later, I made the decision to get top surgery to remove my breasts. I was convinced it was what I needed to do to be happy.
For a while, I did feel better. It was a huge relief to see my body change and to feel like I was finally taking control. But after a few years, that feeling started to fade. The initial high wore off, and I began to realize that my underlying issues—the depression, the anxiety, the feeling of not being good enough—were still there. Changing my body hadn't fixed them.
I started to question everything. I began to understand that a lot of my desire to transition was a form of escapism. I thought that if I could become someone else, I could escape my problems. I also had to confront some internalized feelings about being a lesbian, which played a part in my desire to be seen as male.
I don't believe in the idea of being "born in the wrong body" anymore. I think I was born a woman, and that there is no right or wrong way to be one. My identity isn't about my gender; it's about the things I do, the people I love, and the things I care about. My body is just the tool I use to experience life. I wish I had learned to accept and cherish the body I was born with instead of trying to change it.
I do have regrets about my transition. I regret that I permanently altered my body with surgery and hormones. I am now infertile, which is a difficult reality to face. I regret that the adults and medical professionals in my life didn't question me more or offer me proper support and therapy to work through my underlying issues instead of just affirming my desire to transition.
My thoughts on gender now are that we focus on it way too much. I think we would all be much happier if we focused less on what gender we are and more on living our lives, doing things we love, and caring for the people around us.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13-14 | Started puberty; began to feel intense discomfort with my body, especially my developing breasts. |
| 16-17 | Spent a lot of time online; was influenced by friends and online communities to believe I was transgender. |
| 18 | Began identifying as non-binary, which quickly shifted to identifying as a transgender man. |
| 19 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 21 | Underwent top surgery to remove my breasts. |
| 24-25 | Began to question my transition; realized my underlying mental health issues were not resolved. |
| 26 | Stopped taking testosterone and began the process of detransitioning. |
Top Comments by /u/Fadensonnen:
If your partner wouldn't take it kindly if you chose to detransition, you need a better partner. Seriously.
That nagging voice in the back of your mind might be worth listening to. It sounds like you are already taking steps towards healing and coming to terms with who you are and what you want for yourself. Identifying underlying trauma and biases is a very important step.
I don’t think there’s such as "being born in the wrong body", and I don’t think there’s any right or wrong way to "be a woman". I don’t even think you necessarily need to "feel" like a woman to still be a woman. It just means that you accept the body you are born with.
I like to think of my identity as something that is defined by the things I do and the things I love/care about, not my gender. It doesn’t define me, it just is.
I believe in you, and I believe that you are worthy of healing and to live a life that feels authentic to you. You are strong enough.
You shouldn't beat yourself up. I have a hard time forgiving the adults and the experts/doctors that have condoned and even encouraged young girls to transition. Most of us are confused and easily influenced in our teens. Add some mental health issues on top of that, and a bunch of people on social media/in your friend group telling you that your problems may be rooted in your gender dysphoria, that transitioning might be a solution for you, or even that transitioning is necessary in order for you to become free and feel comfortable in your body, and transitioning will seem like a rational thing to do. And no one will stop you from doing it or give you proper guidance/support either, since it has been forbidden to do anything else but to welcome/encourage all expressions of gender dysphoria.
I think you're doing something important just by talking about it now. You're helping others make more informed and hopefully better decisions around transitioning.
It also doesn’t really matter how you choose to identify yourself - people will still identify you according to what they see. If I am born a woman and look like a woman then people will perceive me as a woman and judge/treat me as such, even if I identify as gender fluid or non-binary.
I can understand your desire to transition, and I also think you are raising very valid questions.
Here's my opinion: I think it’s natural and normal for everyone to fantisize about being the opposite gender at some point, to some extent. I also think you will live a better and happier life long term if you learn to accept or even cherish the body you were born with. I don’t think there’s such a thing as "being born in the wrong body", and even if there were - you will never be born in another body.
I think there are ways to express and explore the desires that compel you to transition without necessarily doing hormones or surgery.
But in the end it’s up to you. I understand if you feel the need to take further steps on this path to be able to fully experience and then evaluate if it’s right for you. Just be careful with making decisions that are irreversible.
I'm happy that you’re in a better place now ❤️ It really is insane how much we have obsessed around the concept of gender. I think we would all be happier if we focused more on doing things we love and caring for other people. Then we would appreciate the body as a tool for doing and experiencing these things, and "gender" and other categories of self identification/conceptualization would become irrelevant.