This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. The user describes a complex, emotionally charged, and deeply personal detransition experience with specific, consistent details (e.g., laser hair removal, HRT effects, Discord activity, substance abuse history). The narrative is nuanced, showing internal conflict and evolving feelings over time, which is not typical of bot behavior. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is fake.
About me
My journey started after a painful breakup when I fell into a deep depression and drug addiction. I used transitioning as an escape from dealing with that real pain, and being high made it easy to ignore my doubts. I took hormones and had laser hair removal, which I now regret as I want to present as male again. Now that I've stopped hormones, I feel a confusing mix of dysphoria, missing the man I was but also some aspects of my transition. I'm trying to focus on the future, getting sober and learning to love myself as a man again.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and now detransition has been a long and confusing road, and I’m still figuring it out. It all started for me after a really bad break-up. I was in a deep depression and was using a lot of drugs—opioids, cannabis, and later, benzos. I basically came straight out of that pain and into transitioning. I see now that I used it as a form of escapism from dealing with my real problems.
I always had the most doubts about transitioning when I was going through withdrawal, waiting for my next supply. In those low moments, I’d almost convince myself it was a mistake. But then I’d take the drugs, feel great again, and just push those doubts away, blaming them on the depression and anxiety from the withdrawal. Being high made it easy to only focus on the positive parts, like all the support and compliments I got for "being myself." I realize now that I essentially prayed away my doubts with drug abuse.
I did medically transition. I took hormones and had laser hair removal on my face. Ironically, I just had a touch-up appointment recently that seems to have finished off my facial hair entirely, which is something I now regret as I think about presenting as male again. The hormones also made me look a lot younger. I never got surgery, but I always hated having breasts and still do. I don't want to be in-between; I don't want boobs, but I also miss things about being a man.
Now that I've stopped hormones—I’ve been off estrogen for a couple of weeks—I’m pretty certain I’m staying off it. I’ve started detransitioning, but it’s created a weird new problem: I’m getting dysphoria in both directions now. I look at old photos of when I was a man and wish I could just snap my fingers and be back there. But then I know I’d also mourn my long hair and the soft features I have now. I can’t win.
A part of me is actually excited to be a man again, but in a different way. I'm looking forward to being strong again and hopefully having a better social life. But I can't deny that I'll probably miss having soft skin, and I won't have as much fun dressing myself. I think I could learn to love myself as a man, if that makes sense. I even feel my testosterone rising again, and in some ways, I like that feeling—like I've got that 'fire' in me again. But it also reminds me of the trauma and fear of toxic masculinity that originally drove me to transition. There are pros and cons to everything.
This has been a huge learning experience for me. I think I had to go through it to rule it out as an option. I wouldn't recommend anyone do it, at least not medically. I think therapy could have helped me immensely if I had gotten it at the right time with the right people. I'm currently on a waiting list for a rehab clinic and am slowly coming down off everything on my own.
My social transition is tricky to undo. I’ve just removed my pronouns from my Discord profile altogether for now. I haven’t told anyone in the community there yet. I'm worried that me detransitioning will make my friends there question themselves, seeing someone who seemed so happy as a woman for so long suddenly flip a switch. I’ve made some good friends there, and I don’t want to lose them, but I also feel like I might need to detach from the community altogether.
I don’t have any serious health complications from hormones, like being infertile, but I have spent so much money to get to this point, and now I want to take it all back. I see the whole thing as a costly lesson. It was scary, but I'm trying to see the positive side. I had to do it to learn about myself.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 25 | Bad break-up led to severe depression and drug addiction (opioids, cannabis, benzos). |
| 26 | Began socially and medically transitioning (started estrogen). |
| 26 | Underwent laser hair removal on face. |
| 28 | Had final laser touch-up, permanently removing facial hair. |
| 28 | Began questioning transition during periods of drug withdrawal. |
| 28 | Stopped taking estrogen and began detransitioning. |
| 28 | Removed pronouns from social profiles while navigating social detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/Fearless-Ad-7350:
It's scary how much this feels like me too. I'm trying to see the positive side of it though. It was a learning experience, and I think I had to do it to rule it out as an option. I wouldn't recommend anyone do it, at least not medically. Therapy could've helped if I got it at the right time with the right people.
What's with the first comment being deleted 🤔. I'm actually excited to be a man again, but in a different way to being a woman. I'm looking forward to being strong again and having a better social life. But I can't deny I'll probably miss having soft skin, and won't have as much fun dressing myself. But I think I could learn to love myself as a man, if that makes sense.
I've been looking at photos of when I was a man, and wishing I could snap my fingers and be back there. But then I know I'd mourn my hair and soft features. I can't win, because I don't want to be in-between. I don't want boobs. But I get so many compliments as a woman. I've spent so much money to get to this point, and now I want to take it all back. I've already started detransitioning, but now I'm getting dysphoria in both directions..
I've just removed my pronouns from discord altogether for now. I haven't told them anything.
The one big issue I have with finding the right hairstyle, is that I lasered off all my facial hair. And ironically, the touch-up one I got recently seems to have finished it off entirely. Plus hrt making me look younger. I will need a masculine haircut I think. I guess I can just lie about my age too lol.
Thanks though, I will look at some longer styles before I commit. My hair is currently nearly at bottom of my lower back 😅
No it's ok I understand what you mean. I could just detach from the community altogether and not even post about it (discord). But I've made some good friends there. I'm also worried that I'll make them question themselves, seeing someone seemingly so happy as a woman for ao long suddenly flipping a switch, in a sense. The mods might even delete my post if they think it's damaging I guess.
This resonates with me, A LOT. I came out of a bad break-up, depression and addiction, straight into transitioning (opioids and cannabis, and also benzos more recently). I always had the most doubts during the start of withdrawal, while waiting for my next supply. Sometimes it nearly convinced me, but then I'd take the drugs and feel great, and just put the doubts down to the depression and anxiety from withdrawal. When you're high it's easy to focus on only the positive parts, like the support, compliment and pride for 'being yourself'.
I'm currently on a waiting list for a rehab clinic, and also coming down slowly off everything on my own. I now realise I essentially 'prayed away' the doubts with drug abuse. I'm not saying it happens a lot, but maybe it's what's happening to you. Food for though. Stay strong x
I get where you're coming from, I guess 😅. But that is towing the line between healthy and toxic haha.
In some ways, I like feeling T rising again. Like I've got that 'fire' in me again. But it also reminds me of the trauma and fear of toxic masculinity that drove me to transition in the first place. Pros and cons 😮💨🥲
I realise I didn't offer any advice. Just give it time maybe? Stop blockers if you're on them and slow down E usage, to try and keep you at your current level. Wait another couple months and see how you feel. And then increase, or stop.
This is what I was going to do initially. But after 2 weeks off E, I'm pretty certain I'm staying off it. I realised I can be happy as either gender though, so this might not work for you. But giving yourself time to breathe can't hurt, imo.
Thanks, everyone, for your comments. They've really helped me. The fastest and most useful feedback I've ever had from reddit, honestly. And that's after posting in the mainstream subs for advice over the years, that have FAR more members. Pretty ironic, eh.