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Reddit user /u/FigYewin's Detransition Story

female
took hormones
regrets transitioning
doesn't regret transitioning
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

The user's narrative is complex, emotionally nuanced, and evolves over timeβ€”from deep distress to self-acceptance. The language is personal and inconsistent in a very human way, and the advice given to others is specific and empathetic, reflecting genuine lived experience. The passion and occasional defensiveness align with someone who has undergone a difficult personal journey.

About me

I started taking testosterone because I didn't like how I was treated as a girl, thinking it would make me happy. The supportive community I was in never left room for me to question if it was actually right for me. After stopping, I hated my changed appearance and went through a very difficult time of self-hatred. Leaning on my loved ones and learning to forgive myself was what finally helped me heal. I've now made peace with my body and have learned to love myself the way I am.

My detransition story

My journey started because I didn't like the way society treated me as a girl. I thought that meant I was a trans man, so I decided to take testosterone. I was on it for three years, from 2016 to 2019, and I stopped in August of that year.

At first, the trans community was incredibly supportive. They were wonderful people, but I realize now that the constant support and excitement for my transition didn't leave any room for me to question if the hormones were actually making me happy. It felt like my transition was making everyone else happy for me. A big turning point was when I started to "pass" as male. I stepped away from that community and went out into the real world. It was a shock. I felt alone, mistreated, and lied to. The reality of being seen as a man in society was completely different from what I had been led to believe within the safe bubble of the trans community. I felt really lonely.

After I stopped testosterone, I struggled a lot. I never used to hate how I looked before I transitioned, but now I despised my appearance. My voice sounds like a man's, my neck is thicker, my forehead and jaw are more pronounced, and I have hair on my chin, belly, and upper thighs. I went through a period of intense self-hatred. Identifying myself as female caused me dysphoria, panic attacks, and depressive episodes. It was a really hard time.

What helped me was leaning on the people who love me. My sister and my female friends helped me learn about makeup and skincare. Having a beauty routine, even just washing my face, gave me something to do and helped with the depression. I had to make a conscious decision to believe that the people who love me see me as beautiful, even when I couldn't see it myself. I also had to forgive myself. I made a decision I thought was right at the time, and I can't hate myself for that.

I had a strange experience at work that really stuck with me. A male coworker thought I was a trans woman and made a comment about seeing me "the way God made you." I ended up talking to him about it, and he apologized. I didn't tell him I was detransitioning because I felt a solidarity with trans women. That incident made me realize I needed to focus on who I am, not on what other people think I am, because worrying about others' perceptions is what got me into this situation in the first place.

Now, my feelings are much better. I don't fit into a neat box, and that's okay. I have people in my life who love me deeply. I have my mom's smile and a voice that someone I care about described as captivating and rich. I realized that if I was once able to try and change my physical body to be what I wanted, then I can also change my mental image of myself. I don't regret my transition because it led me to where I am now, and I'm able to help others going through similar things. I've made peace with my body. I'm great, and I've learned to love myself the way I am.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Year Event
(Age before starting T) (Before 2016) Lived as female, did not hate my appearance.
(Age when starting T) 2016 Started taking testosterone.
(Age during transition) 2016-2019 Lived as a trans man, was part of a supportive trans community.
(Age when stopping T) August 2019 Stopped taking testosterone.
1 year after stopping T August 2020 Still experiencing effects of testosterone (voice, body hair, facial structure) and struggling with self-image.
(Present age at time of writing) 2020 Have found self-acceptance and love with support from loved ones.

Top Comments by /u/FigYewin:

16 comments β€’ Posting since August 2, 2020
Reddit user FigYewin (🦎) comments about self-acceptance after detransition, celebrating their unique appearance, loved ones, and decision to reject gender norms.
53 pointsβ€’Oct 6, 2020
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Poster here: I don't know, Hi, just really vibing today and feeling cute as heck in my own special way. I don't look or sound like ANYONE else but fuck it I have 5 people in my life who love me to the ends of the earth and I'm healthy and I have my mom's smile and my voice is rich and unique and Jo said it was captivating and y'know what? I believe her. No I don't fit in, yes I changed how I look, but if I could try and change my physical body to be what I want then I can change my mental image of myself too. I'm great. You're great. Fuck gender.

Reddit user FigYewin (🦎) validates a user's feelings about detransition, advising them to prioritize comfort and minimize negative side effects.
51 pointsβ€’Aug 4, 2020
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Your feelings are totally valid, I can absolutely relate. Do what makes you the most comfortable and has the least negative side effects. Nothing in life is clear cut or black and white, you have to weigh out which long term outcome you want by making decisions in the present. You know you best and I support you!

Reddit user FigYewin (🦎) explains how stepping back from the supportive trans community was key to realizing hormones weren't making them happy, and describes the distress of finding the real world's treatment of men differed greatly from the community's perception.
47 pointsβ€’Aug 4, 2020
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I'd say the biggest thing that might have helped me was to take a step back form the all-supporting trans community (they are wonderful people) because I never had room or space to question if hormones were making ME happy because it was making so many people happy FOR me

Edit: also, once I "passed" as male, I stepped back from the community and found I had actually been perceiving the way the trans community supports and fawns over trans men with how society would, when I actually went out "into the world" I was very distraught at how different it was after leaving such a kind and supportive community. I felt alone, I felt mistreated, I felt lied to, and I felt really lonely. It wasn't at all what they said it would be like

Reddit user FigYewin (🦎) explains how makeup and a skincare routine were lifesavers for appearing more feminine and combating depression during detransition.
27 pointsβ€’Sep 18, 2020
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When I first started Detransitioning makeup was a life saver. My sister and my cis female friends helped me learn a lot!! Get a beauty routine down too, this can also help with the depression if you do ANYTHING AT ALL, wash your face!! Get a nice cleanser and moisturizer!

Reddit user FigYewin (🦎) explains their detransition, detailing how taking testosterone for 3 years led to permanent physical changes and deep self-hatred.
15 pointsβ€’Aug 2, 2020
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Photos uploaded in the wrong order. First photo is a few years before I started my transition, last photo is when I stopped taking testosterone, middle photo is me today.... Anyway getting into it

I thought I was a trans male because I didn't "identify" with the way I was treated as a girl in society, so I took testosterone for three years (2016-2019) and stopped taking it in August 2019. It's been a year since I stopped taking it and I'm still feeling the effects of what I call "gender dysphoria". I never used to hate how I looked, even before taking testosterone, but now I despise my appearance. I sounds like a man, my neck is thicker, my forehead is more pronounced, my jaw is more square, and not to mention the hair on my chin and upper thighs and belly.

I just deeply hate myself and it's not getting better.

Anyway... Could I get a bit of support?

Reddit user FigYewin (🦎) explains that intense regret is a natural part of the detransition process and discusses self-forgiveness and learning to love one's post-transition body.
14 pointsβ€’Sep 20, 2020
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I can't speak for everyone but personally I had to go through the phase where I felt that intense regret. It's okay, it's a natural part of the process for you. Try to avoid being overly harsh, you did what you thought was best at the time and now you realise that wasn't the correct decision, that's all, there's no real terrible sin there, we understand.

Speaking as someone who went through what you went through, parts of your body will change, some parts won't, but I can tell you that after you go through this grieving process you can learn to love yourself the way you are. I love myself, I made a mistake but I can't hate myself because I made the decision for me and I believed it was right. I forgive myself.

Reddit user FigYewin (🦎) advises a person on how to discuss detransitioning with a concerned family member, suggesting a calm conversation, sharing stories from the community, and having a supportive partner present.
13 pointsβ€’Sep 30, 2020
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Have you tried sitting down with her and talking to her about it? Trying to answer any questions she might have, if you're up to it? Often a reaction like hers comes form a place of fear and un-education, and she's not going to educate herself most likely, if you want to have a meaningful connection with her, try talking to her! Maybe read a few stories from here to her, and have your boyfriend be there to encourage you. I hope it goes well, whatever you chose to do!

Edit: spelling, also, you can always make a post asking someone to help you come up with what to say to her! Like a basic explanation of gender and how we view gender and why we feel it is more of a decision than her generation did!

Reddit user FigYewin (🦎) explains how loved ones helped them cope with post-detransition feelings by choosing to believe in their perception of beauty.
11 pointsβ€’Aug 3, 2020
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Honestly, there is a lot. Thank you, I was very upset when I wrote this but I talked to some people who love me and whom I love and we came to the decision that even if I don't find myself beautiful, I can start by believing that they think I am beautiful

Reddit user FigYewin (🦎) explains how detransitioning led to a natural separation from the trans community, including ceasing to attend groups, events, and marches, which also resulted in losing regular contact with trans friends.
8 pointsβ€’Oct 6, 2020
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It was more like how I reacted to the trans community when I detransitioned. I stopped going to trans groups, trans events, trans marches, (doesn't help there's a global pandemic tho) and I just sort of... Stopped seeing all my trans friends on a regular basis. Sure I could hit them up and hang out but really I was only seeing them at these events anyway Β―_(ツ)_/Β―

Reddit user FigYewin (🦎) explains how a coworker's well-intentioned but transphobic comment led to a lecture on respect, and discusses their solidarity with trans women.
7 pointsβ€’Sep 21, 2020
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It was really hard for me in the beginning, when k first stopped T, I had an incident at work where I was cleaning the bathrooms and waiting for a male coworkers to leave the men's bathroom so I could clean it and he opened the door and said "why are you waiting? You can just come in you know" and I said "I don't think that's appropriate for me to be in the bathroom while you use it" and he said, because he assumed I was MtF, "well, I see you the way God made you." And I was like ?????? So I waited for him to leave and a few hours later I confronted him and gave him a lecture about how I understand he's trying to come from a loving place but if he truly wants to be a loving Christian then he doesn't want to say things like that. He actually apologized and seemed to understand. I didn't mention I wasn't trans, because I feel a sort of solidarity with trans women and I felt like I was throwing them under the bus if I were to argue or something. Anyway, I just focused on who I was, not what other people thought I was, because that's what got me started on T in the first place πŸ˜‚