This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The comments display a consistent, emotionally raw narrative of regret, loneliness, and the specific struggles of detransition (like voice and chest surgery). The language is personal, varied, and contains the kind of emotional depth and specific, vulnerable details that are difficult to fabricate consistently. The user's passion and pain align with the expected experiences of genuine detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I started as a lonely teenager who found communities online that made me believe my sadness meant I was a boy, and that medical transition was the answer. I took testosterone and had surgery to remove my breasts, thinking it would finally make me happy. I now deeply regret those permanent changes and feel like I ruined my body, which causes me a lot of pain. I've realized I was always a girl and my discomfort came from other problems I'm now trying to work through. With the support of my family and this community, I'm trying to move forward, even though the road is long.
My detransition story
My journey started when I was a teenager, heavily influenced by what I was seeing online, especially on YouTube and Tumblr. I felt very alone and confused, and those platforms made me believe that all my discomfort and sadness meant I was actually a boy. That online world made it seem like the only solution was to transition.
I ended up taking testosterone for four years and had top surgery to remove my breasts. At the time, I thought it was what I needed to be happy and to finally feel like myself. I was really struggling with low self-esteem and depression, and I think I was using the idea of becoming someone else as a form of escapism from how badly I felt.
Looking back, I realize I was deeply influenced by the internet and didn't have any real-life friends to talk to or to ground me. I lost the few people I thought were my friends because of this path I went down. It made me see who my real friends were, and the answer was no one. That was a very lonely and painful realization.
Now, I deeply regret the medical steps I took. I wish more than anything that I could go back in time and stop myself from making those permanent changes. I feel like I ruined my body. I don't have breasts anymore and after stopping testosterone, I feel like I look like a trans woman instead of just a woman, which makes me feel disgusting and unlovable. I worry that no one will ever love me because of what I've done.
I’ve come to understand that I am, and always was, a girl. The discomfort I felt wasn't a sign that I was born in the wrong body; it was a sign of other problems I needed to work through. I'm trying to focus on that now. I feel lost and I'm dealing with a lot of guilt over the years I spent on HRT and the surgery, but I am also happy to be finding my way back to myself again.
My family, especially my dad, has been incredibly supportive since I told them I was detransitioning. They were really good about it. I also find a lot of comfort and strength in my pets and in this online community. The people here are so courageous, and reading their stories makes me feel less alone. I would never harm myself because I love my dad and my pets too much to leave them, and I hold onto that.
I'm now looking into things like online voice training videos to help my voice sound feminine again, and I'm considering plastic surgery for my chest to try and feel more comfortable in my body. It's a long road, but I'm trying to move forward.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
Age | Event |
---|---|
14 | Started feeling confused about my gender, heavily influenced by content on YouTube and Tumblr. |
15 | Socially transitioned to live as a boy. |
16 | Started taking testosterone (HRT). |
18 | Had top surgery to remove my breasts. |
20 | Stopped taking testosterone and began detransitioning. Realized I am a woman. |
20 | Came out to my family as detransitioned; they were very supportive. |
Top Comments by /u/FlashBA21:
I feel you. I've been on T for 4 years and I really really wish that I could go back in time 5 years and stop myself from ruining my body this much. I feel so alone, so disgusting, thinking that nobody will love me now that I don't have breasts and look like a trans women instead of a woman. Sorry I can't be of help...But know that you're not alone here. I feel you.
Same thing happened to me, Youtube and Tumblr made me start this rough path. But this path also make me realise who where my friends, no one. Not only 1 person was really my friend for real. But here I am, knowing I am a girl, not the boy Youtube and Tumblr made me think. And I feel guilty about all the years on HRT and the top surgery, but I'm happy, happy of being able of be myself again...
Thank you about your advice and your words of comfort. I feel so lost but I won't harm myself because I have my dad and pets and I love them enough to not leave them alone. I also love the people on this subreddit. They are so strong and courageous and I admire them so much. That includes you of course
Thanks for the advice. I will try the online voice training videos, I was referring to my chest with the plastic surgery. And I can't come out to any friends, cause I don't have friends :c. I came out to my family and they were really good with it. Thanks for your words, seriously.
The worst of all is that her older kid who has asperger's it's confused if they want to be a boy or a girl and my ex therapist is doing all in her power to make them transition. They are 14 years old and very very confused and she forcing them on deciding about their gender identity isn't helping at all. At least I could get away from her.
And thank you! Hope you're doing good too :)