This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic and not a bot.
There are no serious red flags. The user identifies as a trans person, not a detransitioner or desister, but engages with the community in good faith. Their comments are nuanced, empathetic, and show a consistent, thoughtful personality over a three-year period. They advocate for detransitioners' right to have a space, which aligns with the subreddit's purpose.
About me
I was born female and my intense discomfort with puberty led me online, where I found communities that convinced me I was a man. I took testosterone and had surgery to remove my breasts, believing it was the right path. But the promised relief never came, and I was left with the same depression and anxiety. I now realize I mistook my body image issues for gender dysphoria, and I live with permanent changes I deeply regret. Through proper therapy, I've found greater self-understanding separate from my sex.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was born female, and puberty was incredibly difficult for me. I felt a deep discomfort with my developing body, especially my breasts. I hated them and felt like they didn't belong on me. Around this time, I was also struggling with severe depression, anxiety, and very low self-esteem. I didn't have a good understanding of why I felt so terrible all the time.
Looking back, I think a lot of my feelings were influenced by being online. I spent a lot of time in certain communities where transitioning was presented as the solution for anyone who felt uncomfortable with their gender or their body. I started to believe that all my problems—my depression, my social anxiety, my hatred of my body—were because I was actually a man. It felt like an escape from all the pain I was in. I began to identify as non-binary first, but that quickly shifted to identifying as a transgender man.
I pursued medical transition. I took testosterone for several years and I got top surgery to remove my breasts. At the time, I was completely convinced this was the right path for me. I defended it fiercely online and in person. I saw any questioning of my decision as a personal attack. I believed the narrative completely.
But the feelings of relief and rightness I was promised never really came. After the initial high of surgery wore off, I was left with the same underlying issues: depression, anxiety, and a feeling of not being comfortable in my own skin. I started to realize that my body dysmorphia and my discomfort with female puberty had been mistaken for gender dysphoria. Transitioning didn't fix my low self-esteem or my mental health struggles; it just gave me a different body to feel uncomfortable in.
I began to detransition. Stopping testosterone was a scary decision because I had built my entire identity around being trans. I had to face the fact that I had made a permanent, life-altering choice based on a misunderstanding of my own pain. I now live with the fact that I am infertile and have a permanently altered body that I sometimes struggle to recognize as my own.
I don't regret transitioning in the sense that it was a path I had to walk to get to where I am now, which is a place of much greater self-understanding. But I do deeply regret the permanent changes and the years I spent pursuing a solution that wasn't right for me. I benefited greatly from therapy that was not gender-affirming, but instead helped me unpack my trauma, my self-esteem issues, and my struggles with my body image. That therapy helped me see that my problems were separate from my sex.
My thoughts on gender now are that it is a very complex subject. For some people, transition is absolutely the right answer. But for others, like me, it's a drastic solution to a different problem. I believe we need to be much more careful and thorough in helping people, especially young people, explore all the reasons they might be feeling dysphoric before jumping to medical intervention.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
Age | Event |
---|---|
13 | Started puberty; began feeling intense discomfort and hatred toward my developing breasts. |
15 | Struggling with depression and anxiety; began spending significant time in online communities. |
16 | Started identifying as non-binary, then as a transgender man. |
17 | Started taking testosterone. |
21 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
24 | Began to realize transition hadn't resolved underlying issues; started detransitioning by stopping testosterone. |
25 | Began non-affirming therapy to address root causes of depression, anxiety, and body dysmorphia. |
Top Comments by /u/FrizzTheWizard:
I don't understand the pushback on detrans people having a space to bond with other people who share their experiences. In my own opinion, the existence of detrans folks doesn't mean that EVERYONE who is trans is fake/lying/invalid/whatever. They're products of a system that lets anyone access transition services that come with major side-effects and aren't appropriate for everyone who so much as thinks they may have dyrphoria.
I mean, honestly, I don't know if there's anything you can do. As someone with both trans and detrans friends, I think this is something they have to sort of navigate on their own. I doubt they would react well to you pushing anything with them. High school is a time when folks are figuring out who they are so maybe this is exploratory or maybe it's who they are. It may be an idea to just let them be because I got nothing that would be constructive in this situation.
I think a lot of it boils down to the fact that the most shocking stuff is what gets put in the spotlight and it's the extreme opinions that get the most attention. That and it is really hard to agree with a more middle-of-the-road view when you're used to fully and unquestioningly defending one "side" because that side is what you identify with. When all you hear about a specific group of people is negative things from your own community, it's easy to just go along with it and not do your own research. There was a time I would have taken what I've heard and damned this whole subreddit and everyone in it as TERFS and transphobes. Having spent time here reading and talking to people, I can say that some folks here have opinions I would consider very much against what I believe to be true, but for the most part this is just a little community with some very valid points regarding gender. The same can be said of many of the trans subreddits.
I think it's all about who you choose to listen to and where you choose to look for info. Every group has their extremists.
Just gonna hop on in here with my two cents and say I don't think this is as big of a thing as you say it is. I work with trans kids and trans adults professionally and as a trans person myself, I'm just....like this. I wasn't hypnotized, it's not some weird kink, there's nothing sexual in it for me and I think the same goes for most trans people as well. The trans women I know share a lot of my experiences and their "trans feeling" began as children, before sexuality began.
I don't mean to say this isn't a kink for some people because some folks will make a fetish out of anything but to say this is some gigantic issue is really detracting from the matter at hand here. Maybe the kid is trans and maybe the kid isn't. That's for a professional to decide and I highly doubt porn factors in here.
I hope this doesn't come off as weird or insensitive but I know there's a lot of stuff like tutorials and guides geared towards trans women that may actually help you? I have a cis friend who happens to be very hairy and she mentioned in passing that guides for trans women helped more than ones geared towards cis women like her. I'm not familiar first hand but it's something to research, if nothing else.
I have no doubt they're concerned but I agree it could have been worded a bit better. I apologize if my comment came off as hostile, I just don't think the possibility of not passing should be a reason for someone who is trans to not pursue transition. I understand their perspective because I see where this could be irritating for them but I think it's one of those things that has to just sort itself out.