Not sure if you watch any of Blair White’s content ( I really fw her). But people like Blair and Buck Angel are truly the only hope the trans community has. They’re the ones saying: NO! biological reality is real and important! They acknowledge that transgenderism reduces people to stereotypes. They acknowledge that there seems to be some type of social contagion going on.

Blair regularly says “I’m a man” and buck regularly says “I’m a woman”. They acknowledge what they are and surprise, surprise, people don’t view them as insane as they do the rest of the community.

It is SO dangerous to be telling young people that cross-sex hormones alters their biological sex. Altering ASPECTS of one’s biological sex does not change it, as we all have found out the hard way.

If they leaned a little more into “bio-essentialism” or whatever the fuck they’re calling reality nowadays, that community would be in a much better position in society right now. I’m not sure how they haven’t noticed yet, but the world is getting pretty fed up with the pretending up is down and down is up rhetoric from this community.

Blair puts it straightforwardly: she’s a man who chooses to live as and identify as a woman. She’s aware that it’s a mental disorder. She advocates for the protection and safety of female spaces and sports. She advocates for minors to be protected from surgery, hormones, and blockers. And she doesn’t push a narrative down anyone’s throats.

There’s a reason why her following is largely non-trans people. People find the honesty refreshing and for the most part, she is accepted as the way she identifies among this group of people.

As for me, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life either 1) lying to everyone around me or 2) explaining to everyone I meet that I develop a relationship with that I’m a woman who lives as and identifies as a man. In my opinion, it’s much less embarrassing to tell people I’m detrans.

This was a huge reason for me. Like many of us, I didn’t realize until after detransition. A lot of internalized misogyny came back. I realized that my fianceè and I wouldn’t be seen as a straight couple anymore, but a gay one. That one was hard for me to swallow initially.

The thing that makes it more complex is that it doesn’t feel like that in the beginning. In the beginning, it does feel liberating and we do believe every lie we’ve been sold about it.

I think over time, it becomes heavier and the burden of it becomes more apparent. Then you reach a point where it’s impossible not to look the ideology in its eyes and see it for what it is. Living every moment of everyday feeling like a fraud is not a sustainable way to live. And for many of us, it takes years to reach that point.

That’s why people who are newer to transition are the loudest regarding how little regret there is, how it saves people, etc. A lot of them will join this sub in a few years.

I see someone mentioned do you wanna be elderly injecting T, that’s a good place to start. Gotta keep in mind that in the event of literally anything major happening in the world, you could lose access to your T. World ears, politicians revoking access, etc.

A big one is the social aspect. It feels liberating at first but you gotta keep in mind that one day, you’ll probably pass pretty well. And you’re not going to want to out yourself. Even if you feel open to that now, the older you get, being stealth becomes more appealing. And it just feels like you’re constantly lying to everyone around you. You’re going to meet people that you want to tell, but aren’t sure if you should. And that will be an ongoing battle.

You’ll have to choose between constantly outing yourself and talking about your transness or feeling like you’re living a double life/living a lie. It gets exhausting. Then you’re always going to be worried you’ll be clocked or someone will find out and tell all your coworkers, etc. it’s just not fun to experience. That alone makes it not worth it. One of the biggest reasons I decided to detransition.

You’ll have to deal with people who genuinely don’t know your trans making “transphobic” comments, remarks, and jokes to you. And have to sit there and take it or out yourself right then and there.

Also, unless you get phallo or meta, and we all know the problems that come with the creation of a body part you weren’t designed to have, and also metas don’t necessarily even allow for STP depending on your particular bottom growth, using the bathroom will always be something that gives you anxiety, everywhere you go. You’ll go into mens rooms that don’t even have stalls, they only have urinals. Or men’s rooms where there are no doors on the stalls cause none of them give a shit.

This has ruined vacations for me. It’s ruined bar nights with friends. The constant anxiety about something as simple as having to pee in public. I’ve had to plan things around when I may need to use the bathroom. When I’m peeing and I hear a man walk in, I always get extremely anxious. Never goes away.

Is this stuff you want to have to deal with forever, is the question I guess.

I’ll create one for the boys! I mostly make stuff for detrans women cause I am one and relate to that experience and have had to heal and cope with my past but I’ll def make one for yall. I do this on top of a full time job so I’ll try to have it by this weekend!

I’m terribly sorry to hear that. That dude was definitely being an asshole and you did not deserve that. I hope you’re feeling better now. That pos can’t take what you are from you. You being a woman is the floor you’re standing on: an unmoving reality. Take care of yourself my friend.

Listen, I know this is hard. Just pause for a sec.

Remember how long it took for all the changes with T to happen? Your body re-feminizing itself is going to take some time. Likely years. And you’ll have to learn to make peace with the parts that won’t change back.

You have to figure out how to cope with still being perceived as a male. Dresses and makeup aren’t going to help that right now. So you might as well wear what you actually want and be in comfortable clothes. I’m sure being raised with strict gender roles adds a layer of complexity to this. But just try not to dive really hard into the opposite direction. You really have to take this one step at a time, one day at a time.

Focus on getting comfortable with yourself. Try to put the world in the back of your mind for a sec. Try putting others’ perception away, just briefly. Just for as long as you can. And look at yourself. Get comfortable with you. Understand why you made the choices you did, work on self-acceptance, forgiveness, and compassion. And every time you feel lost again, try to put away the world and come back to yourself. And keep doing that over and over, 100 times a day if you need to.

The pendulum doesn’t have to swing too hard in the other direction. You don’t have to overcompensate, even if it feels like you do right now. You can still engage in the same hobbies and interests and traditionally masculine things if that still resonates with you. Just don’t abandon yourself, not anymore, not ever again. If your heart still longs to do those things, then do them.

A big help for me has been mindfulness meditation. I’ve been practicing for years, way before I decided to detransition.

Your body is thanking you for not continuing to inject with foreign substances at levels it wasn’t built for. Stopping T was already giving your body a gift, and I’m sure it appreciates it.

You don’t need to be focused on being “attractive” right now. Right now, you just need engage in things that bring you some sort of peace and relief. Everything will fall into place. Try to stop putting so much thought into what the outcome of all of this will be and try to make it through each moment. Keep doing this each day. Eventually, things will come together, maybe in a way you never thought it would.

I wouldn’t think too hard right now about “identity” stuff.. I know. Easier said than done. But all of this is so fresh. You just came out of an identity you held for years. You’re not in a state to be trying to figure out who exactly you are. That’s hard enough to do under less complex circumstances. You’re just going to confuse and exhaust yourself further. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. Right now is a time for coming to terms with the past, how that’s affecting your present, and healing. Maybe healing from the trauma or whatever it was that pushed you to transition in the first place.

Everything is going to be okay. In a few years, you’ll look back on this and remember the pain and agony and suffering you’re experiencing now. You’ll be a completely different person and likely in a lot less pain. I hope you also look back and remember how hard you fought for yourself, to love yourself, to be kind with yourself, to develop patience, to not abandon yourself, to find some peace.

You’re fighting the good fight. It will be hard and difficult and ugly at times. But you will persevere. Take a break. Maybe take a few days off Reddit. Go buy a journal, if you don’t have one. Write down your feelings. Spend some time by yourself. Let the world melt away. You will be okay. You will persevere. It feels like an ending, because it is. A new door has opened. And on the other side of this is a you who will be so much stronger than you can imagine right now.

You feel alone, but you’re not. There’s a community of us here. We’re with you in spirit. Stay strong.

I have accepted this as my reality as well. I think I’ll always appear sort of androgynous but I know what I am. Honestly I was misgendered from time to time before starting T so I went into detransition knowing it’ll probably happen, at least occasionally, for the rest of my life. But I’d rather that be the case than living life feeling like a fraud with a dirty secret I never wanted anyone to know. Anyway, I think you’re all very brave and courageous and we’ll all make it through this 🙏🏽.

Also there is some evidence that suggests that hysterectomy before a certain age is really horrible for the female body. I mean your pelvis and the organs that exist there are all supporting and relying on each other. There’s already risk to hysterectomy at any age, of things moving/shifting to places they shouldn’t be, having to pee much more frequently because of it, etc. Doing that in your teens/20s is likely going to impact you very negatively when you get into/passed middle aged.