This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic and not a bot.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is inauthentic. The user, "Gatemaster2000," consistently identifies as a transsexual woman from Eastern Europe, not a detransitioner or desister. Their perspective as a transmedicalist critical of modern trans communities is a legitimate, though minority, viewpoint.
The comments display a coherent, personal narrative with specific life details, emotional depth, and consistent political and philosophical arguments over time. The passion and frustration expressed are consistent with someone who has experienced significant stigma and infighting within the communities they discuss.
About me
I knew I was a girl from a very young age, but growing up in Eastern Europe, I was terrified and had to pretend to be a boy for 19 years. My male puberty was a traumatic nightmare that led me to use drugs just to survive. Fighting for two years to get hormones was worth it, as HRT finally made my body feel natural and right. I don't regret my transition at all; it was a medical necessity that saved my life. While I'm now living as the woman I always knew I was, I still carry a lot of anxiety from my past.
My detransition story
Looking back at everything I've written over the past few months, I want to summarize my whole journey. My experience is very different from a lot of people here, but I think it's important to share.
I was born a boy, but I knew from the time I was about seven years old that I was really a girl. Growing up in Eastern Europe in the 90s and 2000s, this was a nightmare. Being gay or trans was seen as the worst thing you could be, associated with pedophiles because of old Soviet propaganda. So from a very young age, I had to put on an act. I pretended to be a straight boy for 19 years because I was terrified that if anyone found out, my family would disown me and I'd become a homeless teenager. It was like I was acting a part every single day, which gave me zero self-esteem and a massive identity crisis. I never knew who I really was because I had to fake so much of my personality.
My biological puberty was a traumatic nightmare. It felt like my body was mutating into something wrong. I was a mental wreck from the start of it. It got so bad that by the time I was 18, I had to use drugs just to exist and not kill myself. I never thought I'd make it to my 20s; surviving to 24 felt like a miracle. Showering was distressing and would make me cry because I couldn't stand my body.
I always knew I needed to transition. It wasn't a question for me. I didn't have a bunch of trans friends who influenced me; in fact, most of my friends weren't trans. I didn't spend a year questioning if I was a trans man or non-binary. I knew I was a woman. I fought for two years to get legal permission to start hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Finally getting on hormones was like going through the right puberty. For the first time since I was a child, my body started to feel natural and right. Showering became a normal activity, not something to dread.
I don't regret transitioning at all. For me, it was a medical necessity. I was born with a condition, and transitioning was the cure. I didn't experience sexual trauma before transitioning; the trauma was from being forced to live a lie and from the violence I faced for being different. I don't have internalized homophobia; I'm a straight woman who is attracted to men.
My thoughts on gender are that there is a difference between people like me, who are transsexual, and what is common today. I think a lot of people now are influenced online or by friends. I see people, especially teenagers, treating being trans like it's a trend, similar to how "emo" was a decade ago. This hijacking of the word "trans" has made life harder for people like me. I've been banned from most trans subreddits because I don't agree with the mainstream views. For example, I was banned for saying it's not appropriate for a trans woman to wear a bikini without tucking, because I was called a transphobe. I think it's wrong that now, if a girl is masculine, people say she must be non-binary or trans, instead of just letting her be a masculine woman. It feels like a new kind of sexism.
I benefited from the old system, even though it was strict. When I went before the medical commission to get approval for HRT, they had old-fashioned ideas. They weren't happy that I wasn't wearing a dress and tons of makeup, but I wore a blazer, heels, and carried a handbag. They were satisfied that I had a date planned with a man. It was sexist, but it was a hurdle I could clear because I am a heterosexual woman. I can't imagine what it's like for kids now with all the new pressures.
I have a lot of anxiety and depression from my past, but transitioning has helped immensely. I never had an eating disorder or body dysmorphia in the way some people describe; my issue was a deep, specific dysphoria about my sex characteristics. I never got bottom surgery, but I had severe genital dysphoria that made things like masturbation impossible. I didn't benefit from non-affirming therapy; I needed affirming care to survive.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 7 | First knew I was really a girl. |
| Start of Puberty (approx. 11-12) | Biological puberty began; felt like a traumatic nightmare, severe distress started. |
| 18 | Dysphoria became unbearable, started using drugs to cope and survive. |
| 20-22 | Fought the legal system for 2 years to get approval for HRT. |
| 22 | Finally started hormone replacement therapy (HRT). |
| 22-24 (Present) | Went through the correct puberty; body started to feel natural and right for the first time. |
Top Comments by /u/Gatemaster2000:
I promise you that no one in the trans community is trying to indoctrinate kids.
You may not see it, but it doesn't mean that the behavior OP is writing about doesn't exist.
Just go to a random trans subreddit and look for the first thread where a person questions if they are trans and bunch of comments/responses that say "Yes, that does sound like trans" / "Yes you are trans!"
That's literally trying to influence or gaslight someone..., even when it's done as innocently.
As a transsexual straight woman, i grew up in the Eastern Europe, so being trans was the shittiest way one could be born here. As context, due to soviet propaganda/crime system, gay people were seen as pedophiles. Trans kids/teenagers have existed for ever, since one is born as transsexual, not becoming one at an older age. So growing up as a trans girl/woman was a literal hell decades of physical violence, since i am apparently such a shitty actress, that I couldn't convincingly pretend to be a straight man for the safety of my life.
What is happening nowadays is that bunch of people with radical views has hijacked the meaning of "trans person", and teenagers have found "trans" as what was "emo" a decade ago, so actual transsexual people are silenced, thrown out of trans spaces, and the voices heard more or less are only of non-trans people who pretend to be trans people.
Transsexual people come with a ton of different political views(not only anything on the woke liberal-socialist scale, but also conservative), but these trans impostors (for lack of a better word) tend to be carbon copies of wokeness when it comes to their views, like they would be part of something a bit similar to a cult, where only certain views are allowed and if someone has different views and they don't change them, then they are thrown out in order to not disturb the community status quo.
Some of you who might read this, think that I will regret transitioning, but I were born a transsexual, I didn't experience sexual trauma until I transitioned, and due to that, I were meant to transition (to be born a normal woman is how I was meant to be born, but transitioning is the only cards I have on the table). This puberty, for lack of a better term, that I've been going through for a few years now (after fighting 2 years to be able to get one of the legal rights about my body, being legally allowed to start hrt) just feels so natural that it's unreal, since my bio puberty felt like a living and traumatic nightmare, like my body was mutating in a way. For the first time in my life, I feel fine in my body (since the bio puberty at least) and showering just feels normal, not something that would be distressing and make me cry.
Transsexual people have existed (in medical literature) since the early 1900s and we started existing outside the view of niche medical enthusiasts/surgeons in the 1930s-1960s, being cured by doctors like Harry Benjamin, Magnus Hirschfeld, being helped by doctors/surgeons/referrers like David Oliver Cauldwell, Robert Stoller, Alfred Kinsey, Georges Burou.
But ever since the 10s people have hijacked the meaning of trans and it has a really giant damaging effect on people's views of us and as a result our mental health and welfare.
Firstly i'd like to say that i don't think watching anime really is a great idea, in sense of there are other things you could do that would help to figure yourself out or be useful for you in the long run,
eg reading books by authors like Napoleon Hill, learning a new language (which is what i started doing a month ago) and practicing it on Discord, drawing, creative writing. All are activities that can give you either a new perspective of the world or skills that can be useful in a future career.
While i agree with one of the commenters on getting outside or doing more useful activity than watching anime and going on walks outside, i think that also one shouldn't ask questions like this from random people on the internet, since they don't know you and will push their views onto you no matter which side they are, that like many things, answers to these questions you have, should be coming from the inside and not from strangers you meet online.
That the most adult tactic would be to detox yourself from communities/people (even me if you think so) that push their views onto you, to find questions to your answer by keeping a diary and writing into it (and this is actually what life and business coaches do, carry a small diary where they ask questions from themselves and answer them), it helps to develop your introspectiveness.
I wish you the best whatever you'll do!
Yeah i thought exactly that. When I grew up being trans was a shitty medical condition and being a trans woman and a tomboy was not seen as really possible/normal. Nowadays being trans is pseudo feministic thingy (and I'm saying that as not a feminist, due to the feminists treatment of people like me during 70s-90s), as in if a woman is masculine she has to be nb/trans and can't just be a masculine woman and if a man is feminine or likes some feminine hobby he can't be really a feminine man but must be nb/trans, and this type of thought is seen as feminism and progressive somehow...
I've been banned from most of the trans subreddits in a last year or 2, even though i were a member of them for 4-8 years, because I don't think like them... Last ban was because i said that it isn't nice and it's a asshole move to wear bikini bottoms and not making you flat down there, to which I were responded with "but cis men wear speedos without making them flat down there, you transphobe!" and a ban.
Edit: I should mention, I’m not talking about trans people in general. I’m talking about the garbage youtube influencers who squee with happiness when unboxing a breast binder
I'm posting this as this isn't marked "detrans only"
As a transsexual woman, i'm so glad that when i were growing up in the eastern europe in the 00's and early 10's, people like these, especially people like this outside of their computer screens, didn't exist. If they would have existed and they would had been the face of transsexuals, then i would had more problems to deal with being accepted in the society, instead of the normal shit like being weekly someone's punching bag, being afraid of getting disowned by the family and becoming a homeless teenager, and feeling fear of not being heterosexual (into men) enough, not feminine enough and hence not being enough of a trans woman in the eyes the of medical trans experts who decided (and still decide where i'm from) if you are a transsexual and worthy of medical treatment using their sexist literally fantasy 1950's housewife steroetypes as requirements.
I remember going on a medical commision to get rights for my bodily autonomy, and the commision members not being too happy about me not wearing a dress and ton of makeup, but wearing a blazer outit, heels, some makeup and a handbag instead, but luckily they were happy with that i had a date planned with a guy (that sadly got canceled once he realized that i won't feed his fantasy, but i've had pleasant dates with 2 other guys) and i knew that i were a trans girl from when i were about 7.
I can't imagine the experience transsexuals from more conservative families get now or in the near future if they come out, because of the face of a trans person in the media nowadays...
As a detrans ally and a classical transsexual/transmedicalist i agree with you.
There is nothing in the OP's story that i can relate to, aside being tomboy, having an eating disorder and no self esteem
(having to pretend 19 years of your life to be someone else and literally putting on an permanent acting role since you are afraid of becoming a homeless kid/teenager if people would find out that you are transsexual does that to you, and identity crisis of what you really like/dislike, who you are as a person, etc... because you had to fake alot of/all of it.)
The biggest warning bells to me are:
- Not feeling strong dysphoria from the start of puberty.
By the age of 18 it got so bad that i literally had to do drugs to survive (aka to be able to not live but just exist, and not having to kill myself even though i didn't want to kill myself). It's a miracle i made it to age 24. I never expected to even make it to my 20's.
- Most trans friends who you have are non binary.
If most of your trans friends were binary that wouldn't be a warning sign, but most of your trans friends being binary is a huge red flag for me.
Not seeming to have enough genital dysphoria to be unable to even masturbate, which is normal for transsexual people.
Spending a year to question if they are trans male, not it being something that they knew since they were a kid or a early teenager. Which is what actual transsexual people almost universally experience. I know one transsexual woman who for some reason somehow only fully realized when they were 17-18.
As a transsexual woman who knew before teenage years who she was, masculinity was a protective mask that i had to wear since i were afraid of becoming a homeless teenager if my parents had found out who i were and i were born in Eastern Europe in the 90's. I would had wanted to study photography or fashion design when I were 15, but because I were afraid of getting disowned and becoming a homeless teenager and i knew some famous transsexual IT people (The one who invented the cpu architecture that is used in the smart phones and lynn conway?) i started studying IT as the safe option. Though when I said that I wanted to study IT, i got told by too many people that "you aren't made for it" / "Your math/logical skills are too low for IT".
Had i been the feeling of growing up in a safe environment, i would had likely gone studying photography/fashion design and maybe marketing, which is what I am now studying independently.
That's just so f... up... I can't understand how that kind of thinking is seen as acceptable...
Ever since the onset of biological puberty i were a mental wreck and now in my mid 20s I'm finally recovering...
Yet i never said anything like that to anyone..
Yeah thanks for you and other people in this community giving me the opportunity to participate in this community! :)
It's so hard to find places where I can talk with other people who have different views and life experiences from me and who are fairly friendly and chill and don't attack me for not fitting in with them or having different views than them! And I like to be here for people who might want to talk with someone who doesn't judge them (aside like pedos and really radical people), like i have been there for ton of people by being an admin of a small teenage oriented (aka gaming) community and its members, like a teenage boy whose mother is a drug addict and whose father is in prison.
I do know what type of people you are talking about and i steer away from the "wearing cat ears, stockings, skirts and programmers are the trans culture" people because i don't relate to them or have anything in common with them. Sadly that makes me unpopular in the trans community...
Well where I'm from there's a saying "don't touch shit pile, or it will start to smell", meaning in this context that detrans people should be the ones who run their communities and someone outside of detrans experience creating terf free detrans subreddits kind of creates a shitty snowball effect of "If you don't share our views we will throw you out", causing them to be outcast. As is the case with transmeds who originally were the faces of the trans community and who established trans subreddits/spaces before the next generation took over.
As much as i hate transsexualphobia (new term i just coined, meaning the phobia towards trans people who are actually trans people and not future detrans people, eg the phobia some detrans people have that doesn't allow them to accept that not all trans people are actually future detrans people and that actual trans people exist) of this subreddit and having people dismiss me being transsexual with ("he just thinks he's trans because society doesn't accept feminine men", "he has internalized homophobia" and what else) instead of accepting that actual trans people exist,
this subreddit is important due to being space for people with multiple opinions who suffer from the mistake they did and don't always accept that they are the ones who did the mistake and should accept that they did the mistake and are responsible for it, not someone else because of their misconception of what trans person is and transsexual experience is.
Even though i don't agree with most of the people of this subreddit I've had contact with, it's important that this subreddit stays and these people have a place and support group to be in and can have people with different values, as long as they don't dox actual (read not future detrans) trans people