This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user presents a highly specific, internally consistent, and emotionally charged personal narrative that aligns with known detransitioner experiences. The comments show deep personal investment, complex reasoning, and a clear, evolving perspective over time. The use of niche terminology (HSTS, AGP, comphet) and detailed pharmacological knowledge is consistent with someone deeply engaged with the topic, not a superficial imitation. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the warning that detransitioners can be "very passionate and pissed off."
About me
I was born male and transitioned because I thought being a straight woman would be easier than being an effeminate gay man. I used hormones and surgery to try and escape myself, which I now see as a form of chemical self-harm. I've since woken up to the reality that I can't change my sex and have socially detransitioned. However, I'm still dependent on estrogen because the thought of stopping it is terrifying. My transition was a maladaptive coping mechanism, and I believe these issues should be treated with therapy, not surgery.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition is complicated and rooted in a lot of pain. I was born male and from a young age, I was an effeminate, androgynous boy. I came out as gay around 11 or 12, but I quickly latched onto the idea of being trans instead. The idea of being a gay man was deeply unappealing to me because of the stereotypes I saw: that gay men were seen as degenerate, hypersexual, and mentally ill. I thought being a straight woman would be a much easier and more acceptable life. I now understand this as internalized homophobia, or what some call comphet—the belief that being straight makes your life easier.
My main reason for transitioning was sexual. I am exclusively attracted to masculine, straight-acting men. In the gay dating world, if you're not masculine yourself, you're basically invisible. I'm a flamboyant bottom, and I felt completely undesirable. I believed that if I became a woman, I would have a wider dating pool and finally be loved by the kind of manly men I was attracted to. It was a way to escape the stigma of being an effeminate gay man. I also had severe body dysmorphia; I hated what testosterone was doing to me, condemning me to a "twink death." I saw hormones and surgery as a way to kill that effeminate gay persona and become a "straight woman" instead.
I started taking estrogen and anti-androgens. I also had FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery). The surgery permanently changed my face; the bone and cartilage that was removed will never come back. I now see taking cross-sex hormones as a form of chemical self-harm. It was like using a razor, but doing it internally because I couldn't stand who I was. I was trying to perform a conversion therapy on myself.
Over time, I woke up to the reality that I couldn't actually change my sex. Gender-affirming care is just a set of cosmetic procedures to cosplay as the opposite sex. I saw how transactivism operates like a cult or a religion, silencing anyone who questions it, especially women and homosexual people. I began to socially detransition a few years ago, meaning I stopped living as a woman and went back to living as a male.
However, I am still physically on hormones. The psychological dependency is immense. I feel like a junkie; the thought of going off estrogen fills me with a terror that I might have a psychotic breakdown or kill myself. The withdrawal feels that intense. So even though I've socially detransitioned, I'm still chemically altering my body because the dysphoria is too unbearable to face without it.
I don't regret my transition in the sense that it was a path I had to go down to get to where I am now, but I see it for what it was: a maladaptive coping mechanism driven by egodystonic homosexuality, internalized homophobia, and a deep desire to be loved. I believe conditions like this should be treated like other body image disorders, such as anorexia, with therapy to help you accept reality, not with drugs and surgery to affirm a false perception.
My thoughts on gender have completely changed. I no longer believe in "female brains in male bodies." I think the reasons people transition are primarily sexual, like autogynephilia, or related to conditions like autism, or, in cases like mine, a deep discomfort with being homosexual in a world that often rejects it.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 11-12 | Came out as gay but quickly identified as trans instead due to internalized homophobia. |
| 18 | Started taking estrogen and anti-androgen hormones. |
| 20 | Underwent Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS). |
| 22 | Began social detransition (stopped living as a woman). |
| Present (25) | Still taking hormones due to psychological dependency and fear of withdrawal. |
Top Comments by /u/GenderHurts:
No you can’t get any of your old male face back, it was permanently modified.
FFS is plastic surgery, it implies modifying your face and Adam’s apple anatomically, this has nothing to do with fat redistribution or muscle atrophy. The tissue (cartilages, muscles, bones, facial subcutaneous fat) that is gone will never come back because it was chopped by the plastic surgeon.
I’m so sorry if my words are rude but you need to embrace and love your new face because nothing can be done… you may opt for masculinising facial surgery and fillers but I don’t think you want to go through a traumatic intervention like that in your face again.
Stay strong because it’s not the end, XOXO! 🤗
Don’t do it because if you do you will end up being a hormone junkie just like most of us who have detransed but are still on HRT due to psychological distress HRT withdrawal may cause!
HRT are not substances that are subject to addiction or abuse (I think testosterone and masculinising steroids usage are considered substance abuse though) but once you get on the cross sex hormones rollercoaster it’s very difficult to get off them because they cause massive emotional dependency in some people (this was my case), therefore, even though HRT is not addictive per se, the psychological effects they may cause in you while tapering off could classify these drugs as addictive substances because they behave like illegal drugs such as speed, opioids, and so on in your brain.
There’s a massive black market of estrogen being crafted in unhygienic dangerous conditions because of what I’ve stated above. Cross sex hormones are not a joke or something you should take as if they were biscuits! 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪
Basically, because it’s a cult, a religion based on their emotions, autistic square-minded interpretation of their lives (a lot of transgendereds are autistic and they see the reality radically different to non-autistic people), and narcissistic personality traits. 🤐
No more, no less 🤷🏻
I think I might disagree with one of your points, I personally have a controversial view on "true-trans" narrative that aligns better with what Vanessa Vokey stated in a video long time ago…
The mere existence of "true-trans" people reinforces the foundational transgenderism dogma of errant sexed souls that possess wrong bodies from time to time and this is unacceptable because it is not science-based but wishful thinking.
In my opinion people who transmute do so because of sexual motivations such as AGP/AAP, autosexual tendencies (which is common thing among autistic people… it’s important to note transgendereds have sky-high rates of autism compared to average population), egodystonic homosexuality and paraphiliae… in my experience this is true for what my transmuting motivation were (homosexually-ridden motivation and maladaptation to gay preferences I’m a flamboyant gay bottom who is naturally androgynous, I just wanted to be desired and loved by masculine men since gay dating pool is dominated by masc x masc -if you’re gay an not masc, you’re invisible to most gay men- relationships), that’s why I adhere better to transsexualism being the final consequence of paraphiliae or coping mechanisms some people who suffer from egodystonic homosexuality develop, rather than the nonsense, non provable female brain in a male body (let’s be honest, if female brains in male bodies were real, gender dysphoria / transsexualism differential diagnostic would be brain scans).
Transactivism is being used nowadays as a tool to silence women and homosexual people (particularly lesbians because they are both women and same sex-attracted), so it shouldn't surprise anyone they always prioritise violence on women (particularly feminists and politically left-leaning women) rather than they do with men (in my opinion, violence on women rather than men stems in the fact these autistic people view women as inferior submissive beings because that’s what they see in society -pop culture, porn, expectations and stereotypes women are victims of, and so on-, this is same old misogyny people is used to but with a glittery coat, rainbow flags and pronouns).
And the icing on the cake is when these people have the audacity to say they stand for women’s rights, they have definitely no shame! 🤡🤡🤡
PS: to me their clothing tells me they are pornsick AGPs that wank off all day round in front of a mirror appreciating how womanly they are! 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
The main difference between a religious nut and a tr0️⃣0️⃣n parishioner is the former doesn’t use science to impose their dogma upon us while the latter brags about being the most objective and smarty superior creature that has ever lived who thinks of himself as the keeper of universal truth about every subject he claims to be an expert in.
But yeah, pretty much what you said, besides they think of themselves as enlightened thinkers they don’t doubt using violence to "educate" and make you think the way they want you to think.
I totally agree with you, however, I think people like us are totally doomed because transactivism censors everything that goes against their narrative.
I’ve always thought this mental illness (because that is what this mental condition is) should be treated the way anorexia is treated, I mean, would the GPs and psychologists be OK providing "perception affirming care" (whatever that means) to an anorexic woman who sees herself in the mirror and thinks she is an obese woman? I don’t think they would agree providing liposuction (and other surgical procedures) and prescribing diet pills to an anorexic woman who threatens them to kill herself if they don’t… so why is transsexualism treated differently? It’s simple, the sole reason is Big Pharma is behind of it pushing the transgender agenda to sell mentally ill people cosmetics procedures and synthetic hormones and… I don’t want to mention conspiracy theories, but I’ll do an exception: another two reasons are societal control and distraction from important things (divide et impera) and sterilising mentally ill / neurodivergent people so that they can’t reproduce and, if they want to have babies, conditioning them to pay for onerous reproductive treatments they wouldn’t need if they were healthy people who were never harmed by endocrine disruptive drugs and genital / mammary botching. That’s why transgenderism is endorsed by virtually all companies and economy market governments.
Behind transactivism there is an agenda that pushes transhumanism, consumerism, vanity, superficiality and other hedonistic values, all of these things sugarcoated as "inclusion", "human rights", and diversity.
PS: I’m really sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes in my writing, English is not my native tongue! 🥺
I had transmedicalist views on transsexualism and I thought gender was a biological thing rooted in our brains, to put it simply, I thought of transsexualism as a mental intersexual condition… and apart from that, I thought men who wanted to be women and women who wanted to be men were 100% homosexual (and in the case of timmies, gay bottoms who don’t like to use their sexual male organ like me), not straight… not even bisexual.
I couldn’t imagine heterosexuality-related paraphiliae (autogynephilia and autoandrophilia) were real reasons for someone to transmute even though I’m nowadays pretty aware my reasons for transmuting were 80% sexual motivations (a thing for straight men / straight-acting bi/gay tops) and 20% social motivations (egodystonic homosexuality and social stigma).
Hey, I hope you’re doing well! 🤗
First of all, 4/5mg per week of any esterified estradiol isn’t a low dose at all, it’s, in fact, a high or very high dose (read this chart): https://transfemscience.org/articles/e2-equivalent-doses/
Having said that, it’s important to know that depending on the type of esterified estradiol you got from your GP (or mysterious UGL website recommended by T¡M DIYers), the amount of plain estradiol (this is, the estradiol that was cleaved from the esterified estradiol by your body) that’s still in your body may vary, for instance, if you use a long-acting ester like cypionate or enanthate, your clearance rate (determined by your metabolism and the half life of a given medication) will be longer: for instance, if you used estradiol enanthate (enanthate is a long acting ester), it will stay in your body for up to 6 months before your excretes 100% of that medication, but if you used estradiol benzoate, your body will be able to excrete it in a few weeks (benzoate is a short acting ester).
And finally, yes, your body will completely recover the ability to produce its own testosterone production and restore fertility and sperm quality: once you stop taking exogenous sex-hormones, your hypothalamus will begin to release GnRH (a neuronal hormone) again, and this hormone will activate your hypophysis to release LH (responsible for testosterone production in males) and FSH (responsible for spermatogenesis). Nothing bad will happen to your body regarding sex-hormonal production and fertility restoration (you’ll experience a pretty similar effect women experience when they decide going off hormonal contraception), so you can safely quit cold turkey, you might experience a very short hypogonadal-like mild effect (just like bodybuilders when they stop cycling anabolic steroids) but nothing to worry about.
I hope my comment helps you feel less anxious about your health. You’ll be OK. Good luck! 🤗
PS: it’s not menopause, males cannot experience menopause (that’s an AGP fantasy), the term you’re looking for is hormone withdrawal symptoms because, unlike menopausal women, you can still produce sex-hormones, you won’t go through a permanent state of sex-hormone deprivation like post-menopausal women go through!
TYSM for sharing this! I 100% relate to your experience! 💕💕💕
Even though I’m still on estrogen + antiandrogens, I consider myself detrans because I’ve socially detransed a few years ago, and just like you, I don’t regret transmutation at all because I had severe gender and body dysmorphia due to endogenous testosterone production condemning me to attend my twink dead; the reasons which led me to socially detransing were the instrumentalisation of our long-lasting mental health conditions (gender and body dysmorphia and, in cases like mine, egodystonic homosexuality AKA comphet… that’s my main reason why I’ve always wanted to be -be born, not become- a woman), waking up from the trans dogma that states we can change our sex (gender affirming "care" is just cosmetic procedures to cosplay as someone of the opposite sex) through cross sex hormones and surgeries, and accepting I’ve got a strong "straight fetish" (it’s not a fetish, most men I’ve fall in love with have been straight / straightish men… I just want a manly hubby to marry me) for straight men and straight acting gay tops mdr (I think straight / straightish men are manlier, more masculine and, in general, better than gay men because of my egodystonic homosexuality… I still think this but I’m trying to address why I think like this and learning to love gay men the way they are -this includes me, of course-, it’s difficult though).