genderaffirming.ai 

Reddit user /u/Gold-Fudge-1533's Detransition Story

Detransitioned: 26
male
low self-esteem
regrets transitioning
escapism
trauma
depression
influenced online
anxiety
benefited from non-affirming therapy
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or inauthentic.

The user's posts are highly personal, emotionally charged, and internally consistent. They describe a complex, nuanced, and painful struggle with identity, dissociation, trauma, and gender dysphoria, which aligns with the experiences of many desisters. The language is natural, with self-contradictions and raw emotion that are difficult to fake. The account's perspective is critical of the trans community, which is a common and passionate viewpoint found on the detrans subreddit.

About me

I started exploring transition because I felt a deep disconnect from my body and myself, not from being male. My confusion was rooted in trauma, dissociation, and a lost sense of identity after I had to stop running, which was my way of expressing my masculinity. A session with a gender therapist who promoted harmful ideas confirmed my doubts and made me reject the ideology entirely. I now understand my struggles were never about being in the wrong body, but about finding healthy ways to cope. I am a man, firmly sure of who I am, and I'm working on rebuilding my self-esteem without transitioning.

My detransition story

My whole journey with gender started from a place of deep discomfort, but not necessarily with being male. I’ve always had a massive sense of dissociation from my whole body and I’ve genuinely struggled with my concept of self. I have always disliked myself and the way I look. For a while, I thought this feeling might be dysphoria and that transitioning was the answer.

A big part of my confusion came from my mental state. I deal with black and white thinking, where I massively overvalue some things and people while undervaluing others. It’s like having two different personalities sometimes. When I get overwhelmed by these thoughts, I become a different person, and it scares me. When I’m in control, I feel emotionally detached but logical. I also have a history of sexual trauma from online abuse, which really messed up my sense of healthy sexuality. It led to some issues with impotence and made me terrified of the opposite sex in intimate situations, even though I still feel a strong romantic attraction. I don't know where my physical attraction went.

Because of this, I went deep into escapism, like reading gender swap stories online. But it made me wonder why I had these impulses in the first place when other people don't. I started exploring the idea of being trans online and even booked an appointment with a gender therapist. But interacting with the online trans community made me deeply uncomfortable. I seriously dislike how it uses the idea of being a woman in a way that feels absolutely sexist to me. The way some people use the term "girl" has a pedophilic nature that makes me sick. I felt like I had to convince myself these things were okay, but I knew for sure they were not.

My session with the gender therapist was the final straw. She wanted me to embrace lust and what feels good, and she promoted BDSM culture. But she was taken aback when I talked about my passion for running, which for me is a form of embracing pain—like running through hailstorms and revelling in that struggle. It felt hypocritical and I decided to cancel any further sessions. That appointment was actually useful because it showed me how mentally ill the whole ideology is, especially when she exclaimed, "trans people have always existed" without any doubt.

I’ve always struggled with my sense of masculinity. I was overprotected growing up and felt I had to compensate with external factors. For me, running became a hyper-expression of my masculinity, a way to feel alive and prove my resolve. I know it might be toxic to label that as masculine, but what matters is my resolve as a man to get things done.

I now know I am a man and I will not follow this trans stuff whatsoever. I’m not going to feel guilty for having felt confused; it’s not productive. I think my impulses were a way to cope with trauma, dissociation, and a lost sense of self, especially after I had to stop running due to health issues. Losing that part of my life made me lose who I am, and I’m trying to rediscover that now without transitioning.

I don't regret exploring these feelings because it led me to a firm understanding of who I am. I have no regrets about not transitioning. I benefited from that non-affirming therapy session because it confirmed my doubts. My issues were never about being in the wrong body; they were about trauma, dissociation, and a need to find healthy ways to cope and build my self-esteem.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
Teen Years Struggled with self-image, dissociation, and a poor concept of self.
Early 20s Experienced sexual trauma from online abuse, impacting sexuality.
25 Began intense escapism, reading gender swap stories online.
26 Booked an appointment with a gender therapist; cancelled after one session.
26 Realized I am a man and rejected transgender ideology completely.
26 Stopped running due to health issues, leading to a loss of identity.
Present (26) Working on rediscovering myself and coping with trauma healthily.

Top Comments by /u/Gold-Fudge-1533:

5 comments • Posting since December 13, 2023
Reddit user Gold-Fudge-1533 (Socially Trans - Regrets entire Transition) explains their choice to live with dysphoria and dissociation rather than transition, despite a history of self-image struggles.
11 pointsDec 13, 2023
View on Reddit

Yeah the thing is I genuinely deal with this massive sense of dissociation from my whole body. I used to be an ultra runner and well I have always genuinely struggled with my concept of self. I have always disliked myself and the way I look and it may me dsyphoria. I'd rather put up with it in an aloof state than transition.

Reddit user Gold-Fudge-1533 (Socially Trans - Regrets entire Transition) explains their struggle with dissociation and the desire to rediscover their identity as a man after deciding to disregard trans ideology.
7 pointsDec 17, 2023
View on Reddit

Yes I am aware that the text which I shared didn't reflect that. I know I am a man. I will not follow this trans stuff whatsoever. There's some things which I wanted to share in an unfiltered say way but you're right about it not particularly reflecting myself well as a man it doesn't.

I have dealt with a massive amount of dissociation due to various factors now for a couple of months. The thing is I already know that I need to completely disregard those who respect an individual as a trans woman. However I was was not going to feel guilty for having felt that way. It's not productive and i wanted to just share that straight up. I suppose I just wanted to determine why one would have these thoughts and impulses in the first place you know. I have struggled not running due to health issues or not running properly and since then I've lost quite a bit of who I am and I am trying to rediscover that.

Reddit user Gold-Fudge-1533 (Socially Trans - Regrets entire Transition) explains why they are canceling therapy, citing the therapist's promotion of BDSM while being taken aback by their masochistic passion for running.
5 pointsDec 14, 2023
View on Reddit

I've decided to cancel the next session they want you to get you to embrace lust and what feels good. It's totally ironic as they literally talk about BDSM. I talked about my passion for running and this genuinely is a part of masochistic personality regarding it and enjoying the pain running through hailstorms and not giving a shit and striving forward and revelling in that pain. Yet she was taken aback by this yet she promoted BDSM culture. She mentioned after care and stuff

Reddit user Gold-Fudge-1533 (Socially Trans - Regrets entire Transition) discusses how sexual trauma, black-and-white thinking, and a disconnect between romantic and physical attraction led them to transition and their subsequent disdain for the trans community.
5 pointsDec 14, 2023
View on Reddit

Yeah I totally understand. I seriously have a massive sense of black and white thinking and I massively overvalue things and people and whilst undervaluing in addition to that. Seriously though it's like having two different personalities for me sometimes. I was talking to a therapist and like when I let all this stuff overwhelm me and take me I am different person and it scares me and when I don't I am emotionally detached yet in control logically. I have been through sexual abuse online. Yeah my sense of healthy sexuality was messed up after well I was involved in sexual trauma which fucked it up which has lead to slight impotence for me and terrified of the opposite sex in terms of those situations. Yet I feel a massive romantic attraction still I don't know where the physical attraction has gone. As a result of this I definitely went fully into stuff like reading gender swap stories. However even prior to this there's things I think of this. Why would I have the impulse to do this in the first place when others don't?

I have no idea if I have internalised misogyny, I seriously dislike the trans gender community and how it basically uses the idea of being a woman and how it's absolutely sexist. In addition to the absolute pedophilic nature of how they can use the term girl. It seriously makes me sick. It's like interacting with these people I have to convince myself these things are ok but I know for fucking sure they are not ok.

Reddit user Gold-Fudge-1533 (Socially Trans - Regrets entire Transition) explains their struggle with cognitive dissonance during transition, criticizing a therapist's claim that "trans people have always existed" and finding a sense of purpose through embracing a masculine identity rooted in resilience and physical exertion.
4 pointsDec 17, 2023
View on Reddit

Yeah because even if you think from a perspective which could be seen as more feminine lets say for sake of argument. You will always have a sense of congitive dissoance between what you know is that and this lie you're feeding yourself and others are feeding you. If anything having the appointment with the gender therapist was truly useful. The way she exclaimed "trans people have always existed", truly she was mentally ill to make that assertion without any doubt. I have always struggled with my sense of masculinity to being overprotected and I've had to compensate with external factors like running and this expression has seriously been a hyper expression of masculinity. Literally hahaha the david goggins perspective. Running and revelling in the pain etc and having it make you feel alive. Although it might be toxic to label this as even being *masculine*, it truly doesn't matter what matters is your resolve as a man to get what you need to get done. I am doing what I need to do as a man. It's like progressively over the years feminity in males has been increasing. Essentially by breaking these lines you know you're cheating and manipulating the system but you do it anyway as it's like pure ectasy.