This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, nuanced, and empathetic engagement with complex, emotionally charged topics.
- Consistent perspective that evolves naturally across different posts, referencing personal experience ("I've been there").
- Varied language and tone that is appropriate to the context of each reply, from supportive to forceful.
- A coherent worldview focused on healing, self-acceptance, and a critical view of gender ideology, which is a common and passionate perspective within the detransitioner/desister community.
This reads as a genuine person sharing their lived experience and beliefs.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort started as a teenager when I began to hate the changes of puberty. I found communities online that convinced me I was a man and that medical transition was the answer. After taking testosterone and having surgery, I realized my deeper issues with anxiety and self-worth were still there. I now understand my distress was rooted in trauma and internalized misogyny, not in being the wrong sex. I am a woman learning to make peace with my body and the permanent changes I regret.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was born female and I began to feel a deep discomfort with my body, especially when I went through puberty. I hated developing breasts; it felt like a betrayal and made me feel incredibly self-conscious. I didn't feel like I fit in with other girls and I struggled with a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem.
I spent a lot of time online, and that's where I was first introduced to the concept of being transgender. It felt like an answer. The communities I found were very persuasive, presenting transition as the only way to be happy and true to yourself. I was influenced by what I saw and read, and I started to believe that I was a man trapped in a woman's body. I came out as non-binary first, around age 17, but that quickly shifted to identifying as a binary trans man. I thought if I could just change my body, all my deep-rooted problems would disappear.
I socially transitioned, changing my name and pronouns, and at 19, I started taking testosterone. The changes were rapid and for a short while, I felt a sense of relief. But that feeling didn't last. The deeper issues—my depression, my anxiety, my discomfort with how the world treats women—were still there. I had top surgery at 21. I thought it would be the final step to making me feel whole, but after the bandages came off, I was hit with a crushing realization. I looked in the mirror at my flat, scarred chest and felt a profound loss. I hadn't solved anything; I had just permanently altered my body while the pain inside remained.
It took me a long time to understand the root causes of my dysphoria. A lot of it was rooted in internalized issues. I experienced misogyny and felt that to be respected and safe, I couldn't be a woman. I think I also had some internalized homophobia to work through. I had a problem with porn and erotic material that influenced my ideas about men and women. Furthermore, I now recognize that a lot of my thinking patterns, like getting hyper-focused on one solution, are related to being autistic, though I wasn't aware of it at the time.
I stopped testosterone a few months after my surgery. The process of detransitioning was difficult and lonely. I had to face the permanent changes I had made to my body. I am now infertile, which is a deep regret. I benefited greatly from finding a therapist who wasn't focused on gender affirmation. She helped me work through my trauma and low self-esteem without pushing me in any direction. I had to learn that my value as a person isn't tied to my gender. I am a woman, and that doesn't have to limit who I am or how I express myself.
I don't believe gender is an innate identity. I think it's a social concept we learn. My brain isn't a "male brain"; it's just my brain, shaped by my experiences as a person who was born female. Transition was presented as a cure-all, but it isn't. It's a major life decision with permanent consequences, and it doesn't address the underlying psychological issues that often cause distress.
I have significant regrets about my medical transition, especially the surgery and losing my fertility. I regret not listening to that little voice of doubt I had early on. However, I don't regret the journey itself because it led me to a deeper understanding of myself. I am learning to make peace with the body I have and to find strength in being a woman, even though it can be difficult in this world.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started puberty, began to feel intense discomfort and hated my developing breasts. |
| 15-17 | Spent a lot of time online, influenced by trans communities. Felt increasingly anxious and had low self-esteem. |
| 17 | Came out as non-binary, then quickly began identifying as a trans man. |
| 18 | Socially transitioned full-time (new name, pronouns, masculine clothing). |
| 19 | Started testosterone hormone therapy. |
| 21 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 21 | Stopped testosterone and began the process of detransitioning. |
| 22 | Started therapy focused on underlying trauma and self-esteem, not gender affirmation. |
Top Comments by /u/GossipHoundOfGaytown:
Boyfriend is not safe to be around, please please please don’t believe him. Anyone that gets violent like that is not safe to have in your life!!!! As far as anyone is concerned, you are a woman, regardless of technicalities I believe you can live a normal life and be happy. This might be hard to accept at first, but it doesn’t have to define you. I believe in you!
DON’T DO IT
Used to be me. Then I realized BL is fake, fiction, and a women-created ideal that is practically nonexistent in real gay relationships. Men don’t love each other in the same way that women envisioned because its a fantasy made by women, for women to enjoy. It comes down to a lesson in discerning fiction from reality & moving past that uncomfortable period of teenager identity crisis
Modern gender ideology creates questions and punishes you for asking them. The logic behind it is contradictory and unable to be explained. Transition is not the only way to be happy, it’s not the only option, and it’s not even guaranteed that it will lessen your dysphoria. Take our word for it— transition is no cure-all, and plenty of people have only realized this until they are finished transitioning and still have to deal with the deeply rooted issues that were causing their distress to begin with. Honestly, the fact that you’re questioning if this lifestyle will really make you happy is a good sign. It’s not for everyone, and having doubts early on can be a gift. Listen to the little voice in your head that doubts; don’t ignore it or suppress it, because it doesn’t go away.
Dysphoria can be caused by many things, including some of the issues you describe in your post. I know that experiencing discriminatory/aggressive behavior has probably made you feel othered. Misogynistic treatment on top of having difficult periods could be contributing to not identifying with your birth sex. I really wish I could tell you the solution to these issues, but I’m struggling with them as well… However, I can tell you for a fact that there are more constructive solutions to lessen dysphoria that provide quicker and long-lasting results that transition does not. Gender identity isn’t a concrete concept that can be measured. Gender isn’t an inborn trait, either— it’s learned socially, and the brain-sex association is only due to the neurological impact of male/female socialization. Brain scans of infants of each sex are identical, the differences are only a result of neuroplasticity. If a male and female were raised in isolation, their brain scans would show the same ‘gender.’ As we mature and develop socially, the neural pathways rewire themselves in accordance with the development of sexual identity, but this goes for every person. Two cis females can show different results on a brain scan despite both being female and identifying as such. Gender identity cannot be measured or defined in any quantifiable way as of yet.
My advice to you would be to dig deep within yourself and try to understand your dysphoria and the root cause of your pain. If you can I would suggest finding a therapist, ideally one thats not affiliated with gender or LGBTQIA+ causes, and put your focus on healing before anything else. I know it’s easier said than done, haha… Remember: You are a person with value. You deserve to find love and happiness and fulfillment. You deserve to be respected and understood. Regardless of what gender you are or what you were born as, those things are irrelevant: you are WORTH IT. I believe in you.
It takes time to accept it and be content with it, but after a while you’ll keep being reminded of the reality of what you are & all that comes with it, good and bad. Its not something you chose for yourself but something you’ll learn to live with. It’s not easy to be a woman, but we were born into it and will have to do our best !
You aren’t weak! You’re just experiencing life. It’s hard. Eventually you’ll learn ways of finding strength inside yourself, and that maybe your sensitivity is a worthy quality. What people perceive as weakness can be strength, so don’t let people convince you that you’re weak. I believe in you!
Think of it like this: It can just be a hobby you enjoy. You don’t have to destroy your body to find joy in dressing up or being feminine in nature. If thats who you are and what gives you peace, you’re fully 100% in your right to enjoy those things as a man
I would try to monitor her social media as much as possible. Once they start showing you transitioning content, its like a constant stream of advertisement. It’s hard to think clearly or develop a healthy identity when you’re an adolescent being bombarded with all this propaganda about how surgery and hormones will save your life and make you happy. Of course it’s not true, but when you’re young you have no way of knowing this. For me personally, getting into feminism and reading feminist theory helped me as an adolescent to identify where my distress was coming from. Your kid might be a bit too young for that now, but you could try to share with her about female role models and female success stories? To show her that being a girl and growing into a woman isn’t the end of the world, that she is still a whole human being who deserves to be respected and valued as any other human being on earth, that feminine strength is not a weakness but instead a virtue
I am so, so very sorry. I wish I had something valuable to say, anything that could give you comfort in this painful reality. I believe in a future where women are no longer treated like this, but it seems we’ll have to fight tooth and nail for anything to change at all. There is no safety in femininity, theres no respect for female humanity, and the world doesn’t want to listen. I’m so sorry.
It seems like you’re still under the perspective of someone not fully being honest with themselves… transitioning earlier or having puberty blockers would not make things any easier for you. There are hundreds of testimonies here from people who transitioned young talking about how difficult it is for them. There is nothing that can be done to turn you into a cis man.
I dont think you have to “try” being a woman, either. It’s not really something you have to earn :’) there is no assigned sense of beliefs or actions to “be” a woman. I think you should dress and act whatever way makes sense for you. But i also think you should try to make peace with who you are now, in the body you are given .. You aren’t less of a person for being born female