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Reddit user /u/GriffinQueenOfHeaven's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 15 -> Detransitioned: 23
female
low self-esteem
internalised homophobia
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
trauma
depression
influenced online
influenced by friends
serious health complications
now infertile
body dysmorphia
retransition
homosexual
started as non-binary
anxiety
sexuality changed
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

The user demonstrates:

  • Personal, detailed experience: They share specific, medically-grounded details about their detransition (e.g., effects of testosterone, vaginal atrophy, pelvic floor therapy, hormonal changes) that are consistent and plausible.
  • Internal consistency: Their narrative of detransitioning due to trauma, internalized misogyny, and social pressure is coherent and repeated across multiple comments.
  • Emotional complexity: The tone ranges from passionate anger to empathetic advice, reflecting the strong feelings associated with the topic, as your prompt noted.
  • Interactive engagement: They respond directly to other users, tailoring advice and defending their points in a way that suggests a real person engaged in discussion.

The account shows the profile of a genuine, passionate detransitioned female.

About me

I was a confused kid who realized I liked girls, and older people in the trans community groomed me into thinking my discomfort meant I was supposed to be a boy. I started testosterone as a teenager because I felt being a woman made me weak and vulnerable, especially after my sexual assault. The medical changes felt urgent at the time, but I was never properly warned about the risks or permanent damage. I stopped almost three years ago and now have to deal with serious health problems, including chronic pain from vaginal atrophy. After a lot of therapy, I've come to see my transition as a trauma response, and I'm finally learning to live as a bisexual woman.

My detransition story

My journey into and out of transition was long and complicated, rooted in a lot of pain and confusion. I was a tomboy from a young age and realized I was attracted to girls around 14. I didn't know what bisexuality was, so I felt completely lost, flip-flopping between thinking I was mostly straight or mostly lesbian. This was when I was first groomed by older people in the trans community. A person in their 20s who identified as FTM, along with their friends, targeted me because I was a confused kid. They showered me with fetish gear, invited me to inappropriate parties, and exposed me to drugs. It left a deep scar and set me on a path where I thought my discomfort meant I was supposed to be a boy.

My gender dysphoria was intense. I hated my breasts and felt incredibly vulnerable being seen as a female, especially because of my history of sexual assault. I felt that women were weak and that to be strong and safe, I needed to escape being a woman. The online trans communities I was in reinforced this, constantly talking about how "cis" people were boring and unenlightened. I felt like I couldn't just be a woman; it wasn't "good enough." I started to believe that to be a truly good woman, I'd have to be a trans woman. It was a really messed-up, misogynistic mindset that I adopted to cope.

I socially transitioned in my teens and started taking testosterone. I was never properly counseled about the risks, especially about fertility. I was just given a consent form to sign. I didn't think about the future or what it would mean to possibly become infertile; I was a kid who thought kids were gross. The pressure from doctors using suicide statistics to push for treatment made everything feel urgent and dire.

Being on T and living as a man gave me a sense of privilege and safety I hadn't felt before. People listened to me more. But after a while, I started having serious doubts, especially after my period stopped. The fear of the permanent changes I was making to my body became overwhelming. I realized I was afraid of what I was losing.

I stopped testosterone almost three years ago. It was a difficult process. My body changed a lot; I gained weight and my hormones were a mess. My voice lightened somewhat but is still raspy. I have had significant and ongoing health complications, specifically with vaginal atrophy that began after I stopped T. It's caused pain, urinary issues, and joint problems. Pelvic floor physical therapy and estrogen cream have been essential, but it's been a long road to recovery.

Detransitioning socially was scary. I was afraid to give up the social privilege that came with a trans identity. I identified as non-binary for a while because it felt like a safer middle ground than fully admitting I was a woman. But I came to see non-binary as a belief system, a gateway that was ultimately destructive. Through a lot of therapy, self-reflection, and spending two years offline, I worked through my internalized misogyny. I read books about female spirituality and health, which helped me reconnect with and appreciate my body as female. I learned that woman isn't a feeling; it's the state of being an adult female.

I now identify as a bisexual woman. I regret transitioning. I regret the permanent changes to my voice and the health complications I now live with. I feel I was coerced and not given the proper information to make an informed decision, and that my transition was a trauma response and a way to escape the vulnerability of being a woman in a male-dominated world. I believe the community I was in was a quasi-religious cult that preys on vulnerable people, and I was thrown away when I stopped believing.

I don't think gender dysphoria makes you trans; I think taking steps to transition does. I had dysphoria, and I still have some now, but I am learning to live with it as a woman. My thoughts on gender are that it's okay to be an actual man or woman. Everyone has a right to their opinion, and my experience of having a "trans history" gives me a perspective that is often silenced because it threatens a certain worldview.

Age Event
14 Realized attraction to girls. Groomed by older individuals in trans community.
15 Began socially identifying as transgender.
16 Started testosterone therapy.
21 Stopped testosterone due to serious doubts and fear of permanent changes.
22 Began identifying as non-binary as a intermediate step.
23 Stopped identifying as trans/non-binary and began living as a woman again.
24 Underwent pelvic floor physical therapy and began using estrogen cream for vaginal atrophy.
26 Present day, still managing health complications but feeling more secure in my identity as a woman.

Top Comments by /u/GriffinQueenOfHeaven:

29 comments • Posting since April 30, 2024
Reddit user GriffinQueenOfHeaven (detrans female) comments on the contradiction of puberty blockers, arguing they rob children of the ability to explore adult intimacy while claiming to ensure their future happiness.
68 pointsMay 17, 2024
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It's like they forget children will hopefully become adults one day, even though the point of the whole puberty-blocker argument is to make sure children grow into happy adults, while they simultaneously rob those same children of their ability to explore one of the most important, intimate, and ubiquitous adult experiences.... it's sickening.

Reddit user GriffinQueenOfHeaven (detrans female) explains why she left the LGBTQ+ community, detailing how she was groomed as a 14-year-old bisexual tomboy by older trans-identifying adults who convinced her she was a boy, gave her fetish gear, and exposed her to drugs and sexual harassment.
66 pointsMay 26, 2024
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Yes to all of this. I was harmed as a bisexual tomboy as well. I was groomed by older TQ+ identifying people because I was confused when I was younger and thought I was a lesbian because I started realizing I really liked girls. I didn't know about bisexual yet. I tried to explain it like "I'm just 90% lesbian" lol. They told me it was because I was really a boy, that's why I didn't relate to other girls and liked girls. I was 14, they were in their 20s. The main offender was a "FTM" who worked as a stripper and did nothing to transition. They showered me in gifts of fetish gear and invited me to their "naked bday parties" with their MTF "girlfriend" and showed me poppers and drugs.

It really scarred me and it's probably the main reason I ended up where I'm at. The whole "community " is riddled with pedophiles. I was sexually harassed as a minor by men who called themselves women more often than men who called themselves men. Being young and "trans" painted a target on my back. It's like it was a signal to these other "trans" people that I had been properly groomed to be taken advantage of. I can't believe people buy into the trans kid thing. It's just another tactic for pedophiles I swear to god. That's why I left the community too, after 10 years of brainwashing. Because I finally processed that I was abused.

Also... Nobody identifies as bisexual either anymore. Everyone is "pansexual" now. Because bi isn't "inclusive enough". Or they are "bisexual lesbians"??? Makes no sense. I feel you girl. This mob is not safe for women or children. Or men. Or anyone.

Reddit user GriffinQueenOfHeaven (detrans female) explains how modern transition care for gender non-conforming and autistic youth is a form of covert eugenics and social engineering, comparing it to historical forced sterilizations.
35 pointsApr 30, 2024
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I don't think it's a reach or out of touch. GNC and homosexuals were historically sterilized as well. It wasn't just black and brown women being sterilized, though they made up a large portion of sterilizations. Forced sterilization is "out of fashion" these days. Nobody would allow that to happen again, not overtly. But plenty of people volunteer for sterilization for a variety of ideological reasons, which could very well be socially engineered. That amounts to coercion in my eyes. Especially when children are being given hormone blockers before they even develop an identity because they have GNC or homosexual behaviors, usually comorbid with autism or mental health disorders. Think about it.

Reddit user GriffinQueenOfHeaven (detrans female) explains how her transition was a trauma response to SA and internalized misogyny, advising OP to seek therapy instead.
34 pointsMay 15, 2024
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I transitioned because my history of SA made me feel like women were weak and being perceived as a woman made me feel vulnerable. It can absolutely be a trauma response or internalized misogyny/homophobia that causes gender dysphoria. I detransitioned after a lot of therapy and internal work. You are probably not trans and you should really find someone to help you work through your internalized misogyny/homophobia.

I am definitely more brave, funny, and resilient than every man in my life. Just saying.

Reddit user GriffinQueenOfHeaven (detrans female) explains why she believes nonbinary is a misogynistic belief system and urges a user to not get top surgery, arguing that the desire to escape womanhood stems from trauma and internalized shame rather than a true identity.
29 pointsMay 10, 2024
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I don't want to be harsh but I need to be straightforward with you because it's really important that you consider what I'm saying.

Please explore why you don't like being a woman. Do not transition. Do not get top surgery. Nonbinary is a belief system that has no root in reality. Nonbinary is not trans. It is something else entirely. I identified as NB for a while after stopping T because I felt the same things you do. I was scared of being seen as a woman. I was traumatized by my experiences with sexual assault and harassment for being seen as a woman/girl. It's hard being a woman. I understand why you'd want to escape that. "She/her" felt bad to me because that meant I was being seen as a female and thus I was in danger.

What helped me was reading books about the female experience from spiritual perspectives and engaging more with supporting women in my life. I spent time unpacking my beliefs about womanhood. I found that I actually harboured a lot of hate for women. I thought they were weak because being a woman made me feel weak. Being "something else" made me feel stronger and safer. I felt disgusting for being a female, especially with all of the messages from the "trans community " about how "cis women" suck and how boring "cis" people are and if you're not "trans" you basically have no idea who you are and you're just "another cis person". I thought that I was "too good" to be a woman and that nobody would see me for who I actually am. I was "more" than "just a woman". It's a really misogynistic belief I held for a long time in order to cope with feeling vulnerable from my past experiences. I actually wished for a while I could have been a trans woman because I thought that would make me a better woman. I really was simply disgusted with my body and the vulnerability it entailed.

But actually, women are strong. Women are special. Women solve problems differently. We have been forced to assimilate into a male dominated world and it makes many of us resent what makes us unique as females. We resent that we do not have the physical prowess of men because they can overcome us. We resent the monthly cycles and bleeding because we are forced to continue despite our bodies wanting rest. We resent our own beauty because men feel entitled to our bodies because of it. We resent our role in reproduction because it can be taken advantage of and we are stuck with the consequences while men can fly free.

But also these are the things that make us special. We are not built to be physically dominant, so we are mentally and emotionally acute. We have monthly rhythms, while men have daily rhythms, so we are more in tune with the passage of time and longer rhythms of the earth, not just the rising and setting sun. We are portals that can bring new souls into the world. We are gorgeous. We are strong. The shame we are conditioned to feel is to keep us subservient, because our power is feared.

You should find camaraderie with other females. And you should get offline for a while. I took 2 years offline to introspect and I got away from trans circles. They are also conditioned with misogynistic belief systems that shame females for being women, while males get praised for taking our place. It's a toxic realm and it with degrade your connection with yourself. Nonbinary is a gateway drug to destroying your female body to cope with the pressure of the male world. Don't let them take that from you like they took it from me. I ruined my body with testosterone trying to escape, when I should have stood my ground and connected more deeply with the power of my female body.

Please appreciate your body and your female experience.

Reddit user GriffinQueenOfHeaven (detrans female) advises a 16-year-old to pause testosterone, seek neutral therapy, and consider minoxidil for hair loss, emphasizing there's no rush to make a permanent decision.
24 pointsMay 18, 2024
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You really need to seek out some therapy if you can or at least support, with someone neutral. Don't rush into anything just yet. Please consider getting some counseling if you can. There's a lot of confusing and painful thoughts to work through and some nonbiased guidance would be very helpful. If you're feeling distraught about the hair you can stop the testosterone. You could also try OTC minoxidil in the meantime. Stopping the testosterone would stop hair loss from progressing. You can always start again later if it still feels right. There's no rush, you are quite young. Just take your time and listen to your heart.

Reddit user GriffinQueenOfHeaven (detrans female) discusses the pressure to conform to labels, explaining how being a GNC bisexual made her feel alienated from all groups.
21 pointsMay 28, 2024
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I think it has to do with the statistical prevalence of GNC behavior in the homosexual population, which can happen from a young age. I do think it is a bit a generalization, though not a completely unfounded one. I agree that it can be a harmful generalization, and it can make it harder to find community. Hetero/bi people can also be GNC, and from a young age. And bi erasure is very real. I never knew what bisexuality was growing up so I described myself as "90% lesbian", lmfao. It made it a lot harder for me to accept my sexuality growing up and flip flopped between identifying as "straightish" or "lesbianish" (as a young teen girl), "gay" (as a FTM) or "queer" (as NB). Now I'm just happy to finally accept myself as a bisexual woman and be done with all of it, lol. It would have helped if I didn't feel so pressured into picking a side growing up, especially since I was a bit of a tomboy and very outspoken compared to other girls in my age group. It makes you feel very alienated from girls and women when you don't feel like you fit into any of the "groups". I was too rowdy and boyish to feel like I fit in with other girls my age (and lots of boys didn't like that either), liked girls too much to be straight, but liked boys too much to be lez, nobody talked about bi and usually they still don't.... I do really feel like we need to stop generalizing people so much.

Reddit user GriffinQueenOfHeaven (detrans female) explains her own experience with doubts and advises thorough self-examination before pursuing SRS, suggesting the user imagine a life free from external pressure to find their true path.
19 pointsJun 10, 2024
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SRS is an incredibly risky procedure with mixed results so it makes sense you would have doubts around transitioning with such a risk on your horizon.

I began to have serious doubts after my period stopped on T. I stopped the T and did some self exploration and came to the conclusion I was not trans. I think the fear of my body changing was a huge indicator that I was doing the wrong thing.

I see it a few ways. You could be having doubts because you are afraid of the surgical risks. You could be having doubts because you do not want to lose that part of your body. You could be having doubts because you're wondering if you could have lived life happily as a man. It could be a lot of things.

I don't think it is advisable to make a permanent decision like that if you are having doubts. I would recommend that you do some thorough self-examination to determine what you really want, with the help of a non-biased therapist if possible. Imagine nobody would know what you decide but you. Would you live as a man again if nobody knew? Would you get the surgery? Would you continue your life as a trans woman but not get the surgery? Don't bring other people into the mental picture. Imagine yourself happy.

There's no rush to make a decision. Especially one as incredibly life altering as SRS. You have the rest of your life. The fact that you feel pressured to not detransition means you feel an urge somewhere to do it. Otherwise you wouldn't feel that pressure. You didn't lie by pursuing transition. It was your truth at the time. I'm sure it felt hard to come out. And it's always hard changing your mind. But if nobody was looking, would you change your mind?

Reddit user GriffinQueenOfHeaven (detrans female) advises a questioning detransitioner to pause hormones, prioritize self-trust, and details physical & emotional changes to expect, including voice, weight, and period shifts.
19 pointsMay 15, 2024
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To answer 1. You can always change your mind and continue transitioning later if you stop now. It's really hard to go backwards though, especially with surgery. The confusion is trying to tell you something, so listen up. Don't let fear and pride get in the way. This is your body and your life and nobody has to live with the consequences but you. Transition can begin again, but you can't go backwards. Take your time exploring these feelings. That is the only way to get your clarity. Therapy may help if you have access to it, as long as they're neutral about the gender stuff. It wouldn't be helpful to have a therapist that is too pro or anti transition, especially if you're feeling vulnerable and confused.You need a neutral person to help you get perspective, especially if you have a lot of closed minded people in your life who would be wary of you questioning your transition or would be too happy to write off your entire transition experience.

  1. Don't tell anyone until you're ready. Find confidence in yourself first. They may suspect there's something going on. Maintain your boundaries. It's not their business. There's no way to know how they will react, so make sure you're feeling confident in your decisions first. I told people in my life over the course of many months. I told each person in a different way. Personalized approaches helped, especially when you can't gauge how they will react and when each person has different backgrounds and beliefs. I carefully curated my responses so that I would feel comfortable. That is the priority there. Make sure you feel comfortable. Don't talk about anything you're not ready to talk about. You don't owe anyone an explanation. You owe yourself your own truth and happiness. That's it.

  2. It may take a while for your period to come back and it will likely not be the same as before. My periods are a lot lighter and shorter now. You may experience some hormonal issues and vaginal issues. I actually didn't have issues with vaginal atrophy until AFTER I stopped testosterone. It's been years and I'm still struggling, but my gyno gaslit me about it and told me I just needed to relax, so I didn't get any estrogen therapy for my genitals for 2 years after stopping. Estrogen cream helped a lot. You may need pelvic PT for pelvic atrophy which can cause gait issues, joint pain, and urinary issues. There will be a lot of emotional changes. You may gain a lot of weight. I gained 50lbs in a year after I stopped, but I'm back down to a healthy weight now and only kept 20lbs (which was good bc I was underweight before). Hormones take time to work and your gonads may be a bit shocked from the artificial hormones and not create enough to compensate after basically being asleep for a while.

  3. My voice lightened with time. It may take a bit if conscientiousness to train yourself to talk in a higher register again. My vocal folds softened after a couple years and I have a female register again, albeit a bit raspy and chesty, but undeniably female. My husband thinks it's sexy, idk. I still hate it and cry sometimes. Patience and grace is your friend here. I still have daily throat pain from talking in too low of a register because it's bard to remember to talk differently as the vocal folds change. But you will get there, it just takes time.

Again, patience is your friend. Your body wants to be female and it will do it's best to heal itself. As long as you take care of yourself and find your strength things will get better with time. I highly suggest therapy if you can get it, and finding friends who are supporting. You will certainly know who your real friends are after this. Anybody who wants to write your experience for you is not your friend. They are not trying to help you. They're trying to validate themselves.

Let yourself feel your feelings. Give yourself the time and space to feel them. Try your best to not judge yourself. You can think and feel whatever you want and nobody will know. You can make a safe space inside your own brain and you don't have to give that space to anyone but yourself.

You totally got this! You can do this!

Reddit user GriffinQueenOfHeaven (detrans female) explains the historical link between birth control and eugenics, arguing it was designed to create a "race of gods" by suppressing reproduction of the poor, disabled, and non-Nordic Europeans, not just non-whites.
19 pointsApr 30, 2024
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I'm not anti birth control, nor did I say birth control was evil. I'm considering the ways which birth control influenced society and the reasons birth control was conceived. Birth control is a useful tool. But it can also cause hormonal issues that mess with a woman's ability to conceive later in life. Just like any other hormone modulation can be unhealthy for you, birth control comes with its own profile of risks, including iatrogenic infertility during use and even after stopping the drugs after extended usage.

I mentioned the influence of race in eugenics. I focused on the other aspects because they are not talked about as often and most people are taught about eugenics from a purely racial standpoint. It's not so simple. It was about creating a "race of gods" that excluded many other European lineages (non-Scandinavian/nordic to be specific) in addition to non-whites, as well as homosexuals, disabled people, and the mentally ill, among others. Birth control as a social phenomena was incepted and implemented for this reason.

Poor people also die more often in childbirth. They are also pressured by society to not reproduce or to sterilize themselves. Doctors will tie women up without telling them during a C-section. Drawing racial lines for the purpose of semantics or virtue is unnecessary and misses the point entirely. There are many more forces at play than race. The powers that be would like you to focus on race because it takes your eyes away from the bigger picture and increases racial tensions. That makes it harder for people to listen to each other and hear the truth.

And it's not up to you what's relevant in this conversation. It's a discussion. And I think that birth control has had a huge role to play in eugenics since it's inception, and it's commonly prescribed to stop periods in children who express gender dysphoria or distress about their period. That is why I included it in my post. It is relevant to the discussion I started.

You made an assumption that I'm conservative and didn't like it so decided to claim it was irrelevant.