This story is from the comments by /u/Grindenhausen that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The user demonstrates a consistent, passionate, and highly opinionated worldview across a multi-year period. Their comments show personal investment in the topic, nuanced (if controversial) opinions, and a consistent ideological through-line focused on personal responsibility, conservative politics, and religious faith as an alternative to transition. This is consistent with a genuine, albeit very specific, perspective within the detransitioner/desister community.
About me
I started feeling gender confusion as a teenager, linking it to a fetish and using it as escapism from my depression. I nearly lost myself to that fantasy, but I stopped when I realized I needed to fix my basic mental and physical health first. Finding Christianity gave my life a true structure and purpose, helping me embrace being a man. I got married, had a child, and my life became stable and meaningful. I'm now grateful I never medically transitioned and believe my struggle was a symptom of deeper issues that needed real solutions.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I grew up in a very liberal place with parents who had a "do whatever makes you happy" mentality. For me, a lot of my feelings were tied up with autogynephilia (AGP). It was a fetish that I was really worried would control my life and turn me into something I wasn't. I also struggled with depression and anxiety, and I think I was using the idea of being a woman as a form of escapism from my problems. It felt like a fantasy solution, a way to run away from the challenges of being a man.
I never went through with any medical transition, like taking hormones or getting surgery. I came very close to losing myself to that "gender fantasy," as I call it. What stopped me was a combination of things. I started to realize that making a huge, permanent decision based on fear or envy is never a good idea. I began to focus on fixing the basics of my life: my diet, exercise, sleep, and being productive. It's not a flashy solution, but getting those things right gave me the mental clarity to see that my problems weren't really about gender.
A huge turning point for me was finding Christianity. I was raised agnostic, but when I found faith in Jesus Christ, it gave my life a structure and meaning it never had before. The Bible became like an instruction manual for me. It helped me see that the challenges of being a man are something to embrace and overcome, not run away from. My life skyrocketed after that. I found a sense of purpose, I got married, and I have a kid now. I'm grateful every day that I didn't go down the path of medical transition.
Looking back, I believe my gender confusion was a symptom of other issues—low self-esteem, a search for meaning, and that underlying AGP. I don't believe AGP is a boogeyman that forces you to do anything; it's something you have to manage and take responsibility for. I think the idea of transition was sold to me, and to a lot of young people, as a miracle cure-all, when what we really needed was to address our underlying mental health and find purpose.
I have strong regrets about the whole cultural push toward transition, especially for kids. I feel like I was influenced by online spaces and a culture that encourages this as a solution without looking at the root causes. I'm now very skeptical of gender ideology and believe we need to protect people, particularly children, from being led down a path that can cause permanent harm. My advice to anyone struggling is always to seek a regular psychologist or psychiatrist, not a gender therapist, to get to the root of deeper issues before considering any permanent changes. Don't make decisions when you're in a state of panic or deep depression. Take care of your basic health first, and face life's challenges head-on instead of looking for an escape.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teenage Years | Started experiencing gender confusion, autogynephilia (AGP), and used female identity as escapism from depression and anxiety. |
| Early 20s | Almost pursued medical transition but stopped after focusing on improving mental health through diet, exercise, and sleep. |
| Mid 20s | Found Christianity and a sense of purpose. This was the major turning point away from gender ideation. |
| Late 20s | Got married and had a child. Life became stable and meaningful, solidifying my identity as a man. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/Grindenhausen:
I could be wrong, but you sound very young.
If you’re under 18 and all your friends are far leftists, don’t worry - at least some of them will moderate once they start paying taxes.
I’d recommend staying on the lookout for new friends though, even if that’s easier said than done. The hive mind of girl-friend groups may affect you heavily.
Yes, there are many alternatives. First thing's first: ensure your mind is getting all the help you can get. Dysphoria is typically accompanied with depression and/or anxiety, so be sure to:
- exercise daily or near-daily
- eat well
- sleep well
- be productive
It's not the sexy answer, and it's not a miracle cure, but it will deliver an amazing dose of chemical rewards and could alleviate a lot of the negative biochemistry. At the very least, you should be able to judge your issues with more clarity.
As for therapists: if you find one and they seem to want to push for transition from the get-go...get the heck out of there. That's the "miracle cure-all" that can ruin lives.
This is a pretty zany post.
It can be simplified to the reality that living as a man isn’t a magic escape - you actually have to face a lot of things alone.
It’s not a trans thing, it’s a dude thing.
I am grateful to be a man, not whining or anything…but to any woman considering a FtM journey: “it ain’t much better in here, kid.”
(Home Alone 2 reference for levity)
As you state at the end, you assume people on the right side of politics are just trying to be mean or evil.
Consider that your “progressive” ideology may have conditioned you to dehumanize its enemies as evil villains instead of humans with a different point of view.
I am conservative. I don’t think most people on the left are doing what they do because they want to be bad people - I just think their politicians tend to be slightly worse lying crooks than the right, and I think their voters have been misled.
In short: your ideology is so cancerous that it’s potentially scaring you into destroying the lives of children, even though you disagree. That’s powerfully dangerous.
I’m certainly not afraid to voice my differences with the GOP.
Abuse is a vicious circle. My condolences for your trauma, praying for better days ahead!
It may sound flimsy, but remember: while you can never change the past, you can change the future. You can make the most of your life and the life of those around you.
Speak out against these “conversion therapy bills” when you see them. They trick folks into thinking it’s an anti-electroshock law, but really it makes it illegal for professionals to propose an alternative idea to a child’s self-diagnosis.
Be a voice for good. Protect others.
Lmao @ the comments in here…”why doesn’t anyone try to speak out and prevent more lives from being destroyed?!?”
right wing steps in
“Ew not like that”
The left has not only abandoned you all, but wants to increase the pain and sweep yours under the rug.
Sorry, but it’s the truth.
Glad you saw the light...it's a pretty zany contrast: we have never had more opportunity for women to use their minds/choose whatever path they want, yet we are facing an unprecedented crisis of social gender confusion because women have been conditioned to feel like it's the stone ages. The exact opposite is true!
I'm sorry that at the age of TWELVE (!!!) people abused your childhood for ideological purposes.
Good news: you're still very young, and the future is up to you.
Hang in there - it sounds cliché, but time does heal all, and that is especially the case in terms of hormone regulation. You may want to consider testosterone replacement therapy if things continue on like this.
Exercise gratitude that your girlfriend is still with you - this is a huge blessing. Many women would not have stayed.
Take control of your life - steer it in a new direction, starting now. You’ve already proven you can boldly alter your life…not for the best, but you did accomplish it. Take that same drive and move things back on track, by any means necessary.
You made an error. Accept it, and then rebuild yourself into a stronger man (mentally, physically, spiritually) because of it.
Praying for ya, man.
Childbirth is the greatest thing any human can do - and anyone saying girls and boys have the same innate interests has spent far too much time on Reddit.
There can be feminine men or masculine women, but by and large there are stark contrasts via biology.