This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "Grubbly-Plankish" shows no serious red flags and appears to be authentic. The comments are consistent, nuanced, and reflect the perspective of a specific individual—an older lesbian ally who is passionate about the topic. There is no indication of automated behavior or a fabricated persona.
Key points supporting authenticity:
- Consistent Persona: The user consistently identifies as an "over-60 lesbian" and "ally" across multiple posts, offering a specific, personal perspective rooted in second-wave feminism.
- Nuanced and Detailed Responses: The comments are lengthy, complex, and engage deeply with different users' specific situations. They show an ability to adapt the core message to various contexts, which is difficult for bots.
- Passionate but Personal Tone: The tone is often passionate and critical of transgender ideology and medical practices, which aligns with the warning that detransitioners/desisters/allies can be "very passionate and pissed off." The criticism is coupled with empathetic support for individuals.
- No Scripted or Repetitive Content: While the user has strong, recurring themes (e.g., critique of affirmative care, the role of ideology, the natural variation of female bodies), the comments are not repetitive copies. Each response is tailored to the post it replies to.
- Historical and Cultural Context: The user references specific historical events (e.g., lesbian-feminist 1970s, specific authors and academics from decades past) and personal experiences that lend credibility to their claimed age and background.
In short, the account exhibits the hallmarks of a real person with a strong, consistent viewpoint.
About me
I watched a generation of young people, especially girls, get swept up in a promise that transition would solve their pain from trauma, loneliness, or not fitting in. I saw doctors rush them onto hormones and surgeries without ever exploring their underlying struggles, like internalized homophobia or the difficulties of puberty. Now, I see these young women living with irreversible changes and overwhelming regret, feeling betrayed by the very system that was supposed to help them. I believe we should be freeing people to express themselves as masculine women or feminine men, not telling them to change their bodies. My only hope now is that by sharing these truths, we can push for real, thoughtful care instead of this harmful, one-size-fits-all solution.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition wasn't my own, but I watched it happen to so many young people, and it broke my heart. I’m an older lesbian, and from my perspective, I saw a terrible thing occur. I saw a medical and cultural system fail a generation of kids, especially young women.
I watched as young people, often struggling with deep pain, were told that all their problems—loneliness, trauma from abuse, the discomfort of puberty, internalized homophobia, or just not fitting into rigid gender stereotypes—could be solved by transitioning. They were promised a miracle cure. I saw that many of these kids were just trying to escape the pain of being a gender-nonconforming person in a world that can be very cruel to people who don't fit in. Many were lesbians who couldn't bear the weight of societal misogyny and homophobia. They came to hate their female bodies, their breasts, and saw becoming a man as a way to gain power and freedom.
The doctors and therapists, from what I read and heard, didn't help them explore these deep, underlying issues. The "affirmative model" meant that if a kid said they were trans, that was the end of the discussion. No exploring past trauma, no dealing with internalized hatred, no talking about the possibility that they might just be gay. It was a fast track to hormones and surgeries. This wasn't medical care; it was medical malpractice on a huge scale. They were experimenting on children's bodies with treatments whose long-term effects are still unknown.
I read countless stories from detransitioners, primarily young women, who realized too late that transitioning was a catastrophic mistake for them. They talked about the irreversible changes: the deepened voices, the facial hair, the infertility, and the horror of having healthy breasts removed. Their grief and regret were overwhelming. They felt lied to by the community that promised them salvation and abandoned by the doctors who performed these procedures. They were left to pick up the pieces alone, often with ruined health and broken lives.
My thoughts on gender are simple. We are born male or female. That’s a biological reality. But what we do with that—how we dress, act, and express ourselves—that’s all up to us. Clothes don’t have a gender. Personality traits don’t have a gender. Being a masculine woman or a feminine man is natural and always has been. The goal shouldn't be to change our bodies to fit a stereotype, but to create a world where everyone is free to be who they are without shame.
I don't have personal regrets about transitioning because I never did it. But I have immense regret that so many were led down that path without being given the chance to truly understand themselves first. I regret that the lesbian community I love has been eroded, with young dykes being told their same-sex attraction is wrong and that their masculine traits mean they must be men. I regret that the medical establishment abandoned science for ideology.
The only hope I see is in the brave detransitioners who are speaking their truth. They are the evidence that this model is broken. They are fighting for a future where kids get the thoughtful, therapeutic care they need, not just a prescription for hormones.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| N/A | This timeline reflects a general observation of a common pattern, not a specific personal history. |
| Early Teens | Experiences puberty discomfort, social anxiety, and confusion. May have a history of trauma or be on the autism spectrum. |
| 15-17 | Discovers trans identity online or through friends. Finds community and a promised solution to deep-seated pain. |
| 17-18 | Socially transitions. Adopts a new name and pronouns. May start binding. |
| 18 | Seeks medical transition. Under the "affirmative model," receives a quick referral for testosterone after minimal therapy. |
| 19 | Begins taking testosterone. Voice drops, body hair increases. |
| 20 | Undergoes double mastectomy ("top surgery"). |
| 22-24 | Begins to question transition. Realizes underlying issues like internalized homophobia or trauma were never addressed. Feels a profound loss of self. |
| 25 | Stops testosterone. Begins the process of detransition, grappling with permanent physical changes and feelings of regret and betrayal. |
Top Comments by /u/Grubbly-Plankish:
Children are explorers. They are fascinated about the whole world because it’s all new to them. Instead of allowing them to experience and discover for themselves, nervous adults shut down the innate curiosity of children and shove them into a gender box. Please tell me how a doll vs. a truck reveals the intrinsic identity of a four year old? What if it’s a truck today and a doll tomorrow? Will we buy two wardrobes for the kid and make them wear pants today and a dress tomorrow? Have we lost our minds?
As an ally who lurks/reads on this sub much more than I post, I'm impressed by the objective way people who are in the middle of detransitioning talk about the trans phenomenon. They speak from their own experience and don't generalize or judge. This sub is a compassionate and supportive place where people are free to discuss their issues without fear of being attacked or invalidated. The search for truth is a personal matter, not an ideological one.
If Reddit had taken down this site, it would have been a tragedy as well as 100% unfair, because people depend on this sub. It saves lives.
This is also exactly the sort of thing I really wish all gender healthcare professionals would read and take seriously. Transgenderism (or should I say transsexuality) is a real issue for a tiny minority of the human race. For them, transitioning is an existential necessity. But transitioning as the cure-all for every internal conflict under the sun that might be masquerading as "gender dysphoria," is an ideological minefield. As a lesbian, I know that straight culture is very unkind, even life-threatening, to gender-nonconforming people. How about if we fix the culture, rather than trying to reinvent biology?
OP, I'm not sure what to say. You've explained yourself well. I imagine that you're sharing your story so that it might help others. I hope it does. I'm sorry your spouse thinks you're becoming transphobic and have fallen down the GC rabbit hole. This is your lived experience, not something you read in a pamphlet. Your reasons for not wanting to detransition make perfect sense. There's so much at stake, so many loose ends and puzzle pieces to reassemble in a satisfactory new configuration. Maybe one day...maybe not. In any event, I wish you peace, of mind and heart.
It's not "totally" your fault. Transgender ideology is very powerful and loud these days. It makes promises it can't keep. You were in pain, and believed that transitioning would solve your dilemma of being a non-feminine woman in a world that makes life hard for non-feminine women. We're really talking about sexism, a word you never hear anymore. What the heck are "masculine features" on a female? My goodness, you've suffered. I'm so sorry.
So, a few things.
One, your body isn't ruined. If I understand you correctly, you took T but had no surgeries. I'm not an expert on the long-term effects of T, but MANY females do detransition after years on T and find a way back to their female bodies, even if not 100%. You can get support on this sub from other FTMTFs if you decide to get off T. You CAN have a husband and children, one way or another. You're young, smart, and strong, and your life is ahead of you. You deserve the love you desire, and you can have it! (It's possible I misunderstand you regarding the surgeries...not sure. But in any case, there is still a way forward.)
Two, you mention psychological issues related to abuse and being female, that still need resolution. If you want to work on those issues, seek out an experienced therapist who will support you in accepting yourself as the female you've always been.
Three. Please, give yourself a break. Try to stop blaming yourself. You were failed by the doctors and therapists who accept trans ideology so totally that they're longer doing their jobs. What responsible therapist simply affirms someone as trans without helping them explore their painful past traumas? Sadly, where trans is concerned, therapists have left their clinical training and their ethics behind, This is not your fault!
By sharing your painful truth, you have started the healing process. Congratulations for taking that important first step. I believe in your resilience, and I wish you all the best.
I'm not at all surprised that trans activists would attempt to sabotage accurate data, which they feel threatened by for some reason. It's sad and unfortunate, and so unnecessary.
When I heard about this study, I was wondering how Dr. Littman was going to control for bogus information in an anonymous online questionnaire. But epidemiology has sophisticated tools for data collection, and Littman is not a novice, a fraud or a transphobe. She's a medical doctor and a public health professor. Objectivity is part of her modus operandi. She will deliver evidence based on accurate data, the kind that health care professionals can rely on in helping their clients.
Please, if you have detransitioned and fit the study's criteria, consider volunteering. Nobody knows ahead of time what the results will be, but the data need to come from real detransitioners willing to tell the truth - both positive and negative - about their experiences. You'll be helping to change the world for the better.
I am devastated on your behalf. Your story is not unusual. In fact, it IS THE STORY.
You were treated according to the worldwide standard of care for "transgender youth," the affirmative model. It's exactly the same in Australia, Sweden, the U.K., and down the block at the U. Michigan: dispense hormones and surgeries RIGHT NOW, based on the demands of a child, or be labeled transphobic and lose your job. Time spent discussing underlying psychological factors is not allowed. (That's "conversion therapy.") This is the model. How else could the numbers of kids transitioning in the U.K. go up 4000% over 12 years?
Yes, a terrible mistake was made, but not by you. You were the innocent victim of medical malpractice which we could call an honest mistake, or a crime, depending on point of view.
What's important now is for you to take a very deep breath, calm yourself, and know ... KNOW ... that you will figure out who you are and be who you want to be. Just as so many girls (and boys!) were trustingly, innocently led down the wrong path and have then desisted and detransitioned, you can too, if you want to. The support is here, the successes are real. It's a process that will take time and some ingenuity, but first thing is to let go of self-blame. The comments here offer great suggestions for reacquainting yourself with yourself, such as seeking therapy, journaling, and learning from the experiences of others.
I have no doubt you will get through this awful time and come into your own, knowing and loving yourself, whoever that turns out to be.
Gender is not a fashion statement. It’s just the body. Male or female ... even intersex people are male or female. So dress yourself however you feel like it. Clothes don’t have a gender, that’s just society talking. Styles of clothing, hair, and makeup are optional. No judgments here, just objectivity. It’s fun, it’s a form of expression, it’s practical, it’s just the covering.
The goal, IMO, is to find what makes you comfortable and happy, and do that. And that can change from day to day, because after all, it’s just fabric, colors, adornment, the externals.
Absolutely, give yourself permission to go more “feminine,” not because you’re a woman and that’s what’s expected of you, but because you enjoy how it makes you feel today. I’m a biological female, i.e., a woman, always have been and will be until I die. I haven’t worn a skirt or a dress in 50 years (yup, I’m old-ish), I don’t own a tube of lipstick, and especially when I was younger I was often mistaken for a dude because of my short hair and clothing choices. That never worried me although sometimes males were threatened by me and wanted to beat me up. OK, some people are jerks. Whatever. I’m still a woman.
Congratulations on realizing that you are in fact a female person, i.e., a woman. Everything else is up to you. Enjoy your freedom. Best of luck to you.
No offense taken. You're not rude. This is a complicated issue, based primarily on internal, subjective feelings. I don't know if I'm right or not. My opinion is based on the fact that some people transition and then feel a lot better. This is my only rationale for assuming that it's an authentic state for some people.
On the other hand, even people who've been trans for decades do detransition, at which point they reveal that they were in conflict the whole time. And some trans people say that even after many years they continue to have gender dysphoria, but have gone so far with body modification that it's too late to go back.
I don't believe in transgenderism as an ideology. The notion that there's no such thing as sex and that everything is based on gender as a social construction, strikes me as, to use your excellent words, ethically and philosophically problematic and incoherent, as well as scientifically bankrupt.
Thank you for taking the time to respond. These conversations are very helpful to me and hopefully others too.
The author discusses all kinds of societal and cultural reasons. The book is not a political pamphlet. It's a well-researched work of non-fiction by a journalist. She conducted over 200 interviews with every type of person who might have something relevant to say on the topic, included happy, well-adjusted trans people. As I wrote above, until you read the book you're not in a position to judge its contents.
Homophobia is at the root of a lot of this gender-panic in parents. Oh no, my 5 year-old daughter’s a tomboy, let’s turn her into a “real boy“ so she won’t grow up to be gay, god forbid. How many people transition for the same reason, before realizing they were really just gay all along... and what’s wrong with that???