This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments display a consistent, passionate, and highly personal narrative that is common among genuine detransitioners and desisters. The user references specific personal experiences (e.g., 26 years, Gulf Coast, Discord), uses a unique and erratic writing style, and expresses complex, emotionally charged opinions that align with the stated goal of supporting others in the community. The "crappy English" note further suggests a real person rather than a polished, automated script.
About me
I got lost in online communities as a teen and was convinced my discomfort with being a woman meant I was a man. I lived socially as a man for 26 years but never changed my core self, my style, or my attraction to butch women. I finally realized that pronouns are not an identity and that I was always just a butch lesbian who didn't fit the stereotype. I’ve returned to using female pronouns without changing a single thing about how I look or act. Now, I hope my story can help others avoid the same mistake and see that you can be yourself without changing your body or your name.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition is a story about getting lost online and finally finding my way back to myself. It started a long time ago, back in the days of LiveJournal. I was chronically online, and that’s where I first got deeply into the idea of gender identity. I think I got influenced online to believe that my discomfort with being a woman, and my dislike of my breasts, meant I was something else entirely. I was led into believing that pronouns were the same thing as your whole identity.
I never had any surgery or took hormones. My transition was entirely social. I changed my name and pronouns and lived as a man for about 26 years. But the whole time, I never changed who I actually was. My sexual attraction was always to butch women and trans-masc people. My hobbies, the way I talked, the clothes I wore, the way I walked—it was all the same. I was just a butch lesbian who got convinced that my feelings meant I had to be a man.
I see gender differently now. I think it's a social construct. It doesn't matter how other people see me. I know me, I feel me, I show me. Their reality is relative. I believe we all come installed with different tolerance levels for the social rules of gender, and as we socialize, those levels build up over time. That can create feelings that get called "euphoria," but it's more complicated than that.
I finally realized that the little tiny things in your mind that form You—your likes, your dislikes, your beliefs—are what matter. They might not fit with online algorithms or popular narratives, and that's okay. You don't need to change your entire self to fit a label. I decided to go back to using female pronouns because I understood that this was always me. I didn't change a single thing about how I look or act. I just stopped letting pronouns define my identity.
I do have regrets. I regret the time I lost, the 26 years I spent thinking I had to be something I wasn't, all because I got influenced by online communities. I wish I could tell other people to slow down. I want to shout from the rooftops that you can be a flat-chested girl who likes feminine guys! You are the want, not necessarily that which you want. I want to help others, especially younger people, not make the same mistakes I did. I’m trying to be a visibly butch elder now, to be present and show that you can be yourself without changing your body or your name.
I’ve started counseling to talk all this out, to explain how I “CHIMd” my way out of dysphoria, to use an old video game reference. I’m on the Gulf Coast, and I’m hoping that by being open about my experience, I might have a slight chance to make a positive impact.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
Age | Event |
---|---|
Late Teens | First got deeply involved in online identity communities (LiveJournal). Felt discomfort with puberty and hated my breasts. Felt influenced to believe this meant I was trans. |
Around 18 | Began socially transitioning to male. Changed name and pronouns. |
18 to 44 | Lived socially as a man for 26 years. Did not change my style, hobbies, or attraction to butch women/trans-masc people. |
44 | Realized my identity was separate from pronouns. Stopped identifying as trans and returned to using female pronouns. No other changes to my life or presentation. |
Top Comments by /u/Gtfo_ASAP_:
This is why even when I, after 26 years, went back to female pronouns I didn't change jack shit. My sexual attraction is still to trans masc and butch women. My hobbies, speech, clothes, words, walk. Same. This was always me, I just got led into the pronouns being my Identity. Thanks live journal and chronic on-line-ness.
I try to be as visibly butch as I can, as an elder to be present and support yanno? I hopped into the discord this sub has. Felt good.
Sorry for crappy English.
Don't ignore the little tiny things in your mind that form You. Likes, dislikes, beliefs- the Why is important and know it for this moment if you can.
The little tiny things that make you You might not fit with the online algorithms. That's okay! You don't need to change. But you will, so get to know why and not steering by the way you feel
I actually scheduled a counseling appointment just to say I CHIMd out of dysphoria like the Dwemer.
I wonder what ideas she'll have about my seeing gender as people come installed with tolerance levels, as we socialize those levels them building up over time giving more "euphoria", all that jazz. Bad at wording it but I'll try.
I'm on the Gulf Coast so I might have a slight chance at making positive impact?
I wish I could start a thousand queer detrans march. Or help tell them with many voices that... You need to change protocol.
Let's make a tiktok dance going "slow down" or "you can be a flat chest girl who likes feminine guys". Make it catchy.
Can there be a dance so they can hear "you are the want,not necessarily that which you want!" ...no that's too long huh
Doesn't matter how they see me. I know me, I feel me, I SHOW me. The hell they got to do with it? That's their mush in their brain. Their social construct being reality is relative. Gender, construct.
If they look and see weak, they are wrong! and I can help, honey come to the Gulf Coast I'll show you strength and how we do.
I'm so sorry for your people not being there for you. That's why I found this place and the discord.
I also believe it's a choice. It's about one's awareness of dysphoria, the severity of such, and coping mechanisms employed before any attempt I think?