This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user's comments display:
- Personal, detailed experience with transition, detransition, and medical procedures over decades.
- Consistent perspective that is critical of trans ideology while advocating for personal acceptance, which aligns with common desister/detransitioner viewpoints.
- Nuanced advice that reflects long-term lived experience, not just repetitive talking points.
- A natural writing style with varied sentence structure and personal anecdotes.
The passion and criticism present are consistent with a genuine, long-term desister who is disillusioned with the transgender community.
About me
I was born male and lived as a woman for about ten years after my transition, which included surgery and hormones. After the initial euphoria faded, I became exhausted by the constant performance and disillusioned by the community I was in. I decided to detransition, stopped hormones, and had surgery to reverse the breast growth from estrogen. Now I live quietly under my birth name, having learned that my real goal was to find inner peace, not an identity. I don't have major regrets, but I believe you need to be sure transition is a deep necessity, not just a fantasy, before you start.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, stretching over more than thirty years. I was born male, and my exploration started a long time ago. I fully transitioned to living as a woman for a period of about ten years. During that time, I had significant Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) procedures and took estrogen. For a few years, maybe two or three, it felt wonderful and euphoric. I put a lot of effort into my appearance with makeup and dressing in a very presentable, feminine way. I felt like I blended in.
But after those initial few years, things started to change for me. The constant effort to look "all girl, all the time" became physically and mentally exhausting. I started to feel lonely inside, like I needed to move on from that identity. I realized that the transgender community, which had felt so accepting and like a home at first, had started to feel different. Over about five years, I became disappointed with what felt like a very whiny, deluded, and cultish crowd that encouraged people to be loud, scared, angry, and mean. That's no way to go through life.
I decided to detransition. I stopped hormone replacement therapy (HRT) completely. One of the physical effects of the estrogen was that I developed breast growth, which I ultimately decided to have removed with gynecomastia surgery. I think anyone born male who is considering estrogen needs to know that breast growth is a definite possibility, and if you don't want that, you shouldn't start unless you have money set aside for surgery.
My thoughts on gender now are that people change and evolve throughout their lives. Transition and detransition both come in degrees; it's a never-ending back and forth for some. The goal is to go to where you are the most content and relaxed on the inside. For me, that meant stepping back. I now go by the name I was born with. I speak like I did when I was 21. I don't make a big deal about my past. If people ask if I'm trans or were trans, I might say something like, "You could say that," and then move on. I've learned to block out the noise about pronouns and just project my inner self. If someone calls me "sir" or "ma'am" or gets confused, I take it in stride. The last thing you want to be is a phony.
I don't have major regrets about transitioning because it was a part of my journey that I needed to go through to get to where I am now. However, I do have strong opinions based on my experience. I believe that if HRT doesn't relieve feelings of dysphoria within a few months, it's probably not meant to be. I also think there's a lot of confusion, especially for young people, between being gay and being trans. If you are a male who is attracted to men to the point of wanting intercourse, transitioning isn't going to help because gay men are generally not attracted to trans women. The internet is a terrible place to figure out your orientation; you need to make real-life friendships and relationships. Fantasies about being a woman are just that—fantasies. They shouldn't be the reason you transition. Being trans means you would do it even if the whole world objected, not because it's a trendy identity online.
I benefited from just getting on with my life. I worked for years as a nurse under my male legal name and gender, and I was successful because workplaces care about performance, not your personal identity. I kept my personal life out of work. I learned that you have to re-integrate into the larger society. You must be willing to be like you were pre-transition, because that is still you. People will respect you if you respect them.
Here is a timeline of the major events I can recall:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early 20s | Began exploring my gender identity. |
| Around 40s (approx.) | Began living full-time as a woman, started estrogen, had FFS surgery. |
| Mid 40s (approx.) | Felt the happiest and most euphoric about my transition. |
| Late 40s (approx.) | Began to feel exhausted by the effort and disillusioned with the community. Started the process of detransitioning. |
| Around 50 (approx.) | Stopped HRT completely. Had gynecomastia surgery to remove breast tissue. |
| Present (50s) | Living life detached from a trans identity, using my birth name, and focusing on being myself. |
Top Comments by /u/GuidanceMain3577:
>What have been your experiences with the Trans community?
Wonderful, almost euphoric upon arrival, Disappointed after 3-4 years
Accepting and moving on after 5, the best leave
Unfortunately what remains with the Transgenderism majority is a very whiny, deluded, pouting, childish and cultish crowd. It has been that way for decades, I keep hoping it will change, it just gets worse.
All of us must think long term, the trans world is really rater small and will not guide you through all off life. You must re-integrate into society as you are. Do not fall for the Transphobia- Phobia.
Transgender wants you loud, scared, angry, tearful, and mean
That is no way to ho through life, be trans, be happy, be part of larger society.
You will find there is frequent imagery and commentary in the media that is intended to show some form of tolerance for trans people. Instead it comes off as condescending.
"Look here is a bearded drag man in a dress, does that not make you feel loved and accepted ?"
Like serving tacos and margaritas as a tribute to the "Latino" community.
Best way to deal with it is to be polite and say "Thanks, but that is not necessary"
Oh So True ! and it depends on the age..I will speak of my experience MTF
One aspect is young people teens, early 20s are like "hey what the hell I'll try anything". If you are trans, chicks are there to try intimacy, as are other trans at that age
Get into late 20s, 30s, 40s women really start wanting life partners and the pool that can get into a MTF really shrinks A LOT to almost zero
Over 50, women can get lonely and become more open (somewhat not a lot) to a companion like partner and looks orientation matters less.
I still don't have the power to end things.
Oh no ! This is not a healthy relationship, when someone places this much control on you it becomes manipulation.
Step back from this person, his interest is sexual and he likely is not interested in monogamy in any form.
Also if you are "gay" you will be in for a shock when you find how few gay men are interested in trans women. Stop on the idea of transition and allow your thoughts and direction in life to find clarity
because women have hurt me many times and I can’t stand petty games coming from toxic femininity
There is a portrayal, belief that the GLBT has love and friendship that is stronger, deeper, more sincere than hetro world.
Many of us find out it is all the same issues and drama and more. There is no reason you cannot be lesbian and mix, match friends and time in both worlds. Getting stuck into assumptions of behavior for a certain group, will burn inside you and is not healthy (we all have this trait to fight).
Being open minded to all until proven wrong is the great challenge of the human condition, but it brings happiness
Never be intimidated by other trans or GLBT
Many are manipulative and not stable themselves, many are outright mean and cruel. One of the more difficult hurdles to overcome is to not take the words of someone who is "more trans" than you as having some great wisdom.
If someone has a problem with where you are in life, that is their problem not yours. be confident and proud of who your are.
Transition and detransition both come in degrees and are a never ending back and forth
I have know many who made it all the way to looking and living as the other gender. Then they found or decided that destination was enough and it's time to come back a little or a lot.
I went all the way from male to fully blending in female, it started to wear me out physically and mentally. I was very happy with it for 2-3 years, then became lonely inside, like I needed to move on.
People change and evolve in life, they give things up and start new or step back. Go to where you are the most content and relaxed on the inside. That journey, be it either 1 step or hundreds is always worth it.
I might be more comfortable in a dress
This us not trans. You need to step back from all the trans talk and identity. Go make friendships and relationships, you will find what you are
The idea of being an ACTUAL woman seems peaceful
Not going to happen, find peaceful ness another way and that will take time
pursuing a new job while ID'ing as a woman since I'm legally male.
Do not fear work with these issues, get in there and start a career
- Pick what you can be strongest with for interviews and in the workplace and stick with it. Keep personal life OUT of the workplace. Nobody should care or know what you identify as. Many people of all types have a work personality and keep it that way.
I worked for years as a nurse under my male legal name and gender. I look fem and many times patients, new co-workers at first thought I was female. But I got it done and was charge nurse for many years. The modern workplace is about performance, talking about gender, class, race and you personal life only gives you a reputation that can be viewed poorly.
Good luck and go earn some $$$$
Not sure where you are going,
But the following is a general statement for the many who come here and ask if they are gay or trans...
- If anyone here is attracted to men (and I mean to the point of wanting intercourse) being trans is not taking you anywhere. Gay men LIKE gay men. They are not attracted to trans females
- The internet is NOT real life, in fact it is garbage as a place to get opinions on your orientation.
- The stereotype of feminine men being gay is more garbage. You are either gay or not and thinking about it does not make you gay.