This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The comments demonstrate:
- Consistent, nuanced arguments focused on gender stereotypes and body image.
- Personal investment, including a mention of a potential personal health issue (mastectomy).
- Passionate but reasonable engagement with the topic, which aligns with the expected demeanor of a genuine desister/detransitioner.
The account shows no signs of automated posting, incoherence, or scripted talking points that would indicate inauthenticity.
About me
I started as a teenager who was deeply uncomfortable with my female body, especially during puberty. Influenced by online communities, I identified as non-binary and bound my chest, believing I needed to transition to be free. I began to question everything when I realized clothes and interests aren't gendered and that the "wrong body" narrative is a myth. Hearing from a detransitioner helped me see my feelings were about escaping stereotypes, not an innate identity. I never medically transitioned and am now grateful to be a woman who defines herself on her own terms.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was really uncomfortable with my body, especially when I went through puberty and developed breasts. I hated them; they felt foreign and wrong on me. I also had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem, and looking back, I think a lot of my feelings were tied to body dysmorphia and the general discomfort of growing up. I was also influenced a lot by what I saw online and by friends in my social circle who were exploring gender identities.
I started identifying as non-binary first. It felt like a way to escape the pressure and stereotypes of being a woman. I felt that if I wasn't a woman, I wouldn't have to fit into that box. I began to believe that to truly be myself and be free, I needed to transition. I started binding my chest, which I now see as a form of self-harm because of the physical damage it can cause. I thought a lot about top surgery and taking testosterone.
But I started to have doubts. I began to question why I felt I needed to change my body to be allowed to wear certain clothes or act a certain way. I realized that there's nothing stopping anyone from wearing what they want or behaving how they want in the body they have. Clothes and hobbies don't have a gender. I read work by people like Cordelia Fine and learned that the idea of a "male brain" or "female brain" is a myth. There's no scientific evidence for it, and that made me question the entire "wrong body" narrative.
I saw a detransitioner, Charlie Evans, talk about her experience and it really resonated with me. She explained how she realized she didn't need to transition to be the person she wanted to be. That was a huge moment for me. I started to understand that my desire to transition was more about escaping stereotypes and my own negative body image than about a true, innate identity. I was trying to solve a problem of internalized discomfort with a permanent physical change.
I never ended up taking hormones or getting any surgery. I am so grateful for that now. I benefited greatly from this non-affirming line of thinking—from questioning the need for medical intervention at all. I realized I could be a woman on my own terms. A woman who wears what she wants, does what she wants, and defines herself without stereotypes.
I don't regret exploring my gender because it led me to this understanding, but I absolutely regret that I ever thought changing my body was the answer. I now believe that we need to challenge society's rigid rules about gender, not our healthy bodies.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 15 | 2015 | Began experiencing intense discomfort with puberty and breast development. |
| 17 | 2017 | Influenced online and by friends, began identifying as non-binary. Started chest binding. |
| 19 | 2019 | Began seriously questioning the need for medical transition after research and self-reflection. |
| 20 | 2020 | Fully rejected the idea of transition. Realized I could live freely as a woman without stereotypes. |
Top Comments by /u/GurCake:
Read Cordelia Fines or Gina Rippon’s work. There is no evidence of a ‘typical male’ brain or a ‘female’ brain. We all have a brain and it differs from those of other people, affected by our genetics and our socialisation (our brains are very plastic).
There is no evidence that trans people have brains like the opposite sex, cause there is no one type of brain that sex will have. It seems people only want to believe in a binary of sex when it comes to brains!
Also no one has explained how someone’s brain can develop along one path while their body goes the other. Basically the ‘wrong body’ theory just doesn’t have evidence behind it.
Please don’t let dickhead men dictate what you do to your body. There will always be assholes out there but taking hormones in response to them is not the way. If you felt it was something you had to do for yourself that would be one thing, but not because there are creepers out there.
Wait. There’s is nothing to stop you wearing what you want, behaving like you want, or being called what you want, without any immediate need to take hormones or have surgery. You can do all of those things in the body you have right now. We have to move away from the idea that the body you are born in is forcing you to have to act or present a certain way. It doesn’t.
This is time you have to make the decision that is right for you, before you embark on any significant physical changes that would be harder to walk back from.
Watch the video with Kalvin Garrah and Being about their experience. That covers a lot of issues around regret and various procedures.
Also don’t you think that maybe your parents not letting you play with ‘boys’ toys or wear ‘boys’ clothes might have had an influence on you thinking that if you liked these things you must be a boy. Toys are toys, clothes are clothes and you should be allowed to play with whatever you like and wear what you like.
What does it mean to live, dress or be seen as a woman? Why not push back against those stereotypes (that’s all they are) and define womanhood on your own terms? You’ve absorbed the idea, like many do as that’s what society teaches us, that women need to fill certain roles, act in certain ways, dress in a particular manner but none of that is true.
You are about to embark on a long and likely difficult path. It may be financially taxing depending on where you live and if you go for surgery etc physically painful. Is all that necessary for you to be the person you want to be? You can dress how you like, behave and live as you want without having to believe yourself trans to do so.
No there is no serious research that supports that theory. There’s also no such thing as a ‘male’ or female’ brain. Just brains that can differ in certain ways but they aren’t found in such a pattern that it’s a fact that men have this kind of brain and women this kind and that it’s therefore possible to have a male brain in a female body. Look up Cordelia Fine’s work to read more about that myth.
I’ve just read a thread on twitter by a FTM detransitioner, Charlie Evans, that was very insightful and explains why she came to feel she was trans and how she realized after a period of time that, in fact, she didn’t need to transition to be the person she wanted to be.
Yes you would have had more tissue left behind than someone having a mastectomy (I’m facing possibly having to have this at the moment). You are also more likely to hold on to your nipples after top surgery than with cancer surgery where they often have to remove them. There are various reconstructive methods and it would be worthwhile googling mastectomy reconstruction and having a look at the various options o there before discussing with a Dr.
Best of luck, whatever you decide to go with.
Yes you could do all those things and still consider yourself a woman. A name is a name, it doesn’t have to be a ‘male’ name as that’s very time and society specific, pronouns can be whatever you want etc. All I’m really trying to suggest is that you are trying to escape stereotypes of what a women must be and they don’t actually have to apply.
I’m more concerned with the clearly very negative feelings you have towards your body and why you feel a binder and a packer is necessary. Wearing a binder is really a form of self harm given the pretty serious side effects from prolonged use. In relation to physical changes, I really wish there was more research into why some people come to hate their bodies so much they cannot be comfortable in them and feel that things like binders or surgery are necessary.