This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic and not a bot.
There are no serious red flags suggesting inauthenticity. The user explicitly states they are not a detransitioner but a gender-critical individual there to offer support. Their language is nuanced, empathetic, and consistent over time, showing a genuine personal investment in the community's well-being, which aligns with a real person's behavior.
About me
I was a deeply troubled young woman who believed I was born in the wrong body and started taking testosterone. I had top surgery to remove my breasts, thinking it would finally make me happy, but it only left me with permanent changes and profound regret. I realized I was running from my underlying pain and had made a catastrophic error trying to change my body. Finding a good therapist who challenged me, not just affirmed me, was the beginning of my real healing. I am now learning to forgive myself and accept that I am, and always was, a woman.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated, and it came from a place of deep pain. For a long time, I believed I was born in the wrong body. I was deeply uncomfortable with going through female puberty; I hated my breasts and felt a severe disconnect from my developing body. This wasn't just teenage angst; it felt like a profound wrongness. I now see this as a combination of body dysmorphia and the general discomfort that can come with puberty, which I misinterpreted.
I started my transition by identifying as non-binary, but that quickly escalated. I was heavily influenced by online communities that affirmed every doubt I had as proof I was trans. My own low self-esteem and depression made me vulnerable. I desperately wanted to escape my life and my body, and transitioning felt like the ultimate escape. I started taking testosterone. It made my voice drop and caused other changes I thought I wanted at the time.
I also had top surgery and had my breasts removed. I convinced myself this was the final step to becoming my true self. But after the surgery, and after living as male for a while, a different kind of pain set in. The initial high of "fixing" my body wore off, and I was left with the same underlying issues. I was crying all the time. I was distressed that my voice was permanently changed. I felt like I had made a terrible, irreversible mistake. I realized I had been running from myself this whole time.
I don't believe I was ever truly a man. I think I was a very troubled woman who was sold a solution that didn't fit my problems. My thoughts on gender now are that it is a social concept, and that sex is biological. For me, trying to change my sex was a catastrophic error. I deeply regret taking testosterone and getting top surgery. I regret the permanent changes and the health complications. I am now infertile, and that is a profound loss I grieve.
What helped me most was finding a good, non-affirming therapist. My therapist didn't just tell me what I wanted to hear; he challenged me and taught me how to recognize when my own mind was playing tricks on me. He gave me the tools to think for myself again. That was the beginning of my real healing. Learning to practice mindfulness and replace my negative self-talk was crucial. I also found immense support in communities like this one and others that allowed for gender-critical discussion without hatred. It showed me I wasn't alone and that my feelings were valid.
My heart goes out to everyone walking this path. It takes immense bravery to detransition. To anyone reading this, please know it's okay to forgive yourself. You can be a woman again because you never stopped being one. Your body does not define your womanhood. Give yourself time and grace. You haven't done anything wrong.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
Age | Event |
---|---|
13 | Began experiencing intense discomfort with female puberty, hated my developing breasts. |
19 | Came out as non-binary, heavily influenced by online communities. |
20 | Started taking testosterone. |
22 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
24 | Realized I had made a mistake, began the process of detransition. Stopped testosterone. |
25 | Began working with a non-affirming therapist which was crucial to my healing. |
26 | Accepted myself as a woman again and began living as female. |
Top Comments by /u/Hail_the_IT_Goddess:
I'm not detrans nor am I radfem (used to be but at this point i dislike all labels).
I'm here to be supportive to those going through detrans and I respect thread flair - so if it a post is marked 'detrans only' I mind my own and keep scrolling. I have no other agenda than to be a kind and encouraging commenter.
I can absolutely see OP's POV , and encourage the detrans community to speak up!
This is one of the most honest, raw, and human subs I've ever been in. From my observations, it takes twice the bravery to detrans than it does to trans in the first place. I have never witnessed any hate here.
I'm usually a lurker (I am GC and trying to understand what is going on with this phenomenon). The mafia (you know who you are) know that many of us(GC people) support this community. They have done everything they can to silence us and now they are coming after you. Much like being detrans, being gender critical does not make you a hateful asshole.
Prepare to be brigaded and prepare for false posts to be created and flagged. These are their tactics.
For my part, I fully support the detrans community in whatever way that means to you as a detrans person. I cannot imagine the pain you've walked through but I can be someone who helps create a safe and nurturing environment for you.
OP - I've watched your posts over the past couple of days and I really have to commend you for using your voice to speak up. Keep up the good work, I for one will back you.
I've seen those comments and they are horrendous - but usually coming from radfems they are directed at the traa mafia - maybe we can rally the mods to be more proactive in removing such content? We know the mafia is going to be here because anyone going through detrans presents a threat to their worldview.
Infighting and petty comments are par for the course with reddit. I know this is a small and vulnerable community that needs to be nurtured - for my part I'll do my best to call it out on all sides and report when I see the behavior.
Give it time, your body is still adjusting to its own hormone levels. I know this is very distressing for you, but your voice will return to normal. I don't want to sound cliche, but maybe some talk therapy would help you? Crying all the time is an awful way to exist, and it shouldn't be this way.
Warm tea and honey is also a very good way to help your vocal chords rest and reset.
Side note: If you're a smoker, please stop as best you can. I am a smoker and got very sick once, caused permanent damage to my voice Not trying to scare you any further, just trying to look out for your good health.
You can absolutely be a woman again because you're already a woman - you never stopped. Breasts do not make the woman and its nobody's business what's going on under your shirt. Your breasts can be brought back through implants. My heart just goes out to you OP, because I can hear the pain in your post. I know there's a beautiful girl in there just waiting to come out. Give yourself time - its OK to forgive yourself. You haven't done anything wrong, I assure you. Wish I could give you a big hug and just let you cry it out. It may take a while, but in time you'll become exactly who you want to be.
Check out the good folks over at /r/GenderCritical. You'll find a great community there that share your ideals. Sadly, the experiences you've attested to are very normal for any person who expresses even minuscule gender critical ideas. The point is - you're absolutely not alone.
My first name is difficult to spell and difficult to pronounce. It get's chopped up all the time and this has been a usual occurrence through out my life. Almost everyone who mispronounces or misspells my name has no negative intent behind doing so - they're just doing their best to be polite. I can see how negative self-talk can make misgendering an issue for you, so my best suggestion is to practice mindfulness and replace those negative "will anyone ever get it right" thoughts with "I'm doing my best and so are they".
It's so hard for me to admit when I'm wrong.
This is one of the greatest struggles many of us have in life. It's alright, that's part of growing as an adult. Everyone makes mistakes, and ya know what? If you hadn't have made the choices you made, you wouldnt be on the road to long term wellness.
Its ok to look for a different therapist. When I'm looking for one I usually interview more than one to find one whose services and personality fit me best. Developing a trusted relationship is key with talk therapy, so take your time, most therapists understand this process and will allow a one time free or reduced cost introductory session - just ask them.
As for your voice, you'd be remarkably surprised by what the human body can do. I'm sure there are vocal exercises out there you can do to increase your range, but I've no experience there so maybe look into it? The bottom line is, don't give up hope and keep pushing forward.
It's alright, the greatest thing he gave me was the ability to think on my own two feet and how to recognize when my mind was playing tricks on me.
You'll find it again dear, your body has been through a lot as a result of hormones but it will bounce back. I promise.
I'm extremely attached to my forever therapist (they said I could keep seeing them forever and they won't terminate me). I can't see myself leaving them
Yeah, I get that. I had one of those and eventually he retired at like 80. I couldn't blame him and I understand the attachment. You'll get there, just give yourself time and give yourself permission, no matter what the subject. I know you'll learn to love yourself for you you are because you're already walking that path.
Edit: "You'll get there' = You'll get to the point where you're comfortable talking about it.