This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on this limited comment history, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags for a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments demonstrate:
- Consistent, nuanced ideology focused on finding meaning outside of identity politics.
- Personal engagement, offering specific, tailored advice and empathy.
- Human-like reasoning, using analogy and personal reflection.
The passion and criticism of trans activism align with known perspectives from genuine detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I started my transition at 26, thinking my general discomfort with life meant I was non-binary. I got deeply involved in online communities, but their acceptance felt conditional and I was treated horribly when I started to question things. My turning point was realizing I needed to stop deconstructing myself and instead find purpose by helping my family and doing meaningful work. I stopped identifying as trans at 29 and focused on building a life I actually wanted to live. I now see that my problem was never my body, but a deep lack of purpose that the ideology I followed completely failed to address.
My detransition story
My journey into and out of transitioning was less about gender and more about a deep, personal search for meaning that I was completely failing at. I never felt like I was in the wrong body, not in the way others describe. For me, it was an ideological and social escape from a self I didn't know how to fix or even understand.
I got deeply involved in online trans communities, and the language there became my entire worldview. I started to interpret all my problems through that lens. I was told my general discomfort with life was "dysphoria," and that my confusion about my place in the world meant I was "non-binary." It felt like I had finally found a group that accepted me, but that acceptance was conditional on me agreeing with them completely. The moment I started to question things, I saw how that community really operates. They treat dissenters horribly. It's like leaving a high-control religion. They excommunicate you. I began to see that the activists didn't see me as a person; I was a tool to be used in a political war. They wanted allies for their cause, not friends.
My real turning point was realizing I needed to stop deconstructing myself through their ideology. I had to step away and find value in something else. I was advised to find meaning by taking on burdens for others, by doing things that mattered beyond myself. That advice changed everything. I started focusing on helping my family, on doing good work, on building real relationships based on mutual care, not political "allyship." I began to explore wisdom from the past, including religious ideas, not to be swallowed up by a church, but to find the valuable parts that could help me build a life I actually wanted to live.
I don't regret my social transition because it was a necessary step on the path to figuring all this out. It showed me what I was truly searching for. But I absolutely regret ever buying into the ideology that told me my body was the problem. My problem was a lack of purpose. I benefited greatly from therapy that wasn't just affirming; it was challenging and helped me find that purpose. My thoughts on gender now are that it's become a trap for a lot of lost people, especially young ones who, like me, are just looking for meaning and community in a world that doesn't offer much of either. We're being sold a solution that doesn't address the real problem.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 26 | Became deeply involved in online trans communities and began a social transition to non-binary. |
| 28 | Began to seriously question the trans ideology I had adopted, feeling used by the community. |
| 29 | Stopped identifying as trans and detransitioned socially. Focused on finding meaning through service and re-evaluating my beliefs. |
Top Comments by /u/HalfwayHoagie:
I think you can gauge the tolerance of a movement by the way they treat their dissenters.
You are leaving a religion and being excommunicated. They will hate detrans people more than cis people as the numbers grow.
Like how Mormons are super nice people to everyone, even non-mormons... but they treat people who leave mormonism horrible.
Same with Jehovahs Witnesses.
Same with fundamentalist Muslims.
Get ready for a storm.
EDIT: Can't believe I didn't use Scientologists as the first example.
I understand the contentious relationship people with religious organizations, I have had them myself.
But religion is a cultural repository of wisdom from the past. The full stop: Religion Bad position is short sighted. The way I see common western religions based on singular text, like Christianity, is as a place to seek out answers to questions that are not answered by science. Sometimes the work in separating the wheat from the chaff is too much, but sometimes that work is the exact process through which you discover your own meaning.
Don't allow yourself to be swallowed up by the people of a church, of course, those people are as flawed and as seeking as you are. And fixing you might give them meaning, but their idea of fixing you might not be your idea of self improvement. You should seek people who have the same values as you, and try to grow your understanding of what you value together. Once you know what matters, you can cultivate a meaningful life.
I also don't agree with the language of "allyship." You shouldn't want allies, that is for war. You should want friends, mentors, acquaintances, and importantly a significant other. I hear the language of allies in the gay and trans communities, and it does not sound like interpersonal relationships, it sounds like contracts signed between dictators and servants - none of that is healthy or normal between individuals. That is only normal between nations.
Good luck. Man's search for meaning is one of the oldest and most difficult journeys, and many never find it. I hope you do find meaning, something that can sustain you in the worst times, and something that can give you joy in the best times.
How old are you?
Many people who think they are trans, or as they put it, know they are trans, turn out to not be come late 20's and early 30's.
There are things in life outside of how you look. You need meanings beyond what you have now, search for meaning - not for happiness.
"Can't present as male" sounds to me like you care about how you look. I don't even understand how to interpret those words except in the reference as to how others perceive you visually in the context of social interaction.
Find something that matters beyond that. A source of meaning that can penetrate the daily troubles of dysphoria or whatever cognitive ailments you are managing. There are wisdoms hidden by our ancestors in books to help develop personal meaning.
It is something all people must either do, or live lives they regret.
This sounds really difficult.
And I hope you find the solution that is right for you.
My suggestion is to stop trying to construct and deconstruct your thoughts and idea's through the lens of trans activism.
Your language about "internalised transphobia" makes it clear where some of your idea's about what trans is, what dysphoria is, and what gender is comes from. This language is only used by people who are the activist end of the trans ideology, and the people who spread this don't want the best for you, they want you to be a tool to defeat their political enemies.
Its a tough time in your life, but try to separate from those who see you as an object, and try to associate with those who see you as a person. Those people may be people you previously thought were awful, terrible people. Maybe try a church, there are many that are more warm and welcoming to people in struggle than you could possibly imagine - but be wary, there are those church's that will want to use you the same way trans activists do.
Be careful, and be well. I really hope it works out for you. Feel free to DM me if you want, but I don't have much in the way of personal experience with where you are.
I have a suggestion.
Find something that is a burden for you to carry. Start simple. Do something each week for someone in your family or friends that you know they need done. Or something at your job that ins't your duty, and take it on as though it is your duty.
Keep doing this. Keep expanding. Idle hands are the devils workshop, but worse, idle minds are the devils home.
You need meaning in your life, and providing for others the service you can will give you meaning. There is no meaning but what you make.