This story is from the comments by /u/HeForeverBleeds that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments, the account "HeForeverBleeds" appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic account. The user provides a highly detailed, consistent, and personal narrative spanning several years, discussing deep trauma, specific medical and psychological history, and a nuanced perspective on detransition that aligns with known experiences of desisters and detransitioners. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with someone who has experienced significant harm and stigma. The account does not exhibit the patterns of a troll or bot, such as repetitive, simplistic, or off-topic messaging.
About me
My journey started with severe childhood abuse that made me feel unsafe in my own male body, and I wished I was a girl to escape the pain. I was a feminine boy who was bullied, and finding online communities made me believe transitioning was the answer, which brought temporary relief. A therapist quickly encouraged me towards hormones and surgery, but a conversation with my dad helped me see my desire to transition came from trauma and a hatred of male stereotypes, not from truly being female. I detransitioned and realized I am just a gender non-conforming man, and accepting that made my dysphoria fade away. I'm now at peace, living as a feminine man and believing that self-acceptance, not changing your body, is the real solution.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was really young, around 8 years old. I had a very difficult childhood. My mother was abusive, and she specifically targeted me because I was a boy. She and her friends sexually abused me from the time I was 8 until I was about 12. That trauma made me feel incredibly unsafe in my own body. I started to dissociate, to feel like my body was the enemy, and I wished I could just be someone else. I remember thinking that if I had been born a girl, maybe they wouldn't have been interested in me, and the abuse wouldn't have happened.
On top of that, I was always a very feminine boy. I preferred what people call "girls'" clothes, I liked having long hair, I enjoyed activities and toys that were considered girly. I was also physically very small and underdeveloped because of malnutrition and other health issues from the abuse. I'm 5'3" and have always been around 97 pounds, with soft features and no facial hair. Because of how I looked and acted, I was bullied a lot. People would make fun of me for being a "girly boy," a "sissy," or a "wuss." It felt like I was failing at being a man because I didn't fit the stereotype of what a man should be: big, strong, masculine, interested in sports and sex.
When I was 12, a psychiatrist diagnosed me with Gender Identity Disorder. But his approach wasn't helpful at all. He just told me, "You're a boy, so you need to act more like one." That made me feel even worse because trying to act masculine felt like a performance, and it was exhausting. It just reinforced the idea that I wasn't a real boy.
Things started to change when I was 17. I began using the internet more and discovered online transgender communities. For the first time, I found other people who felt the same way I did. They were boys who liked girly things, who felt out of place, and who believed they were really girls inside. They told me that if I felt like a girl, then I was a girl. It was a huge relief. Finally, there was an explanation for why I felt so wrong as a boy. I started socially transitioning, presenting as female to everyone, and it felt like I was finally being true to myself. People treated me better when they thought I was a girl. The same traits that got me bullied as a boy—my long hair, my clothes, my delicate features—were now complimented. I got more support, especially regarding the sexual abuse I had suffered. When people thought I was a girl, they were more sympathetic. As a boy, I was often dismissed or even mocked for being upset about it.
At 17, I also saw a gender therapist. After just a few sessions, she encouraged me to start hormones and get surgery as soon as I turned 18. She was worried about my history of suicide attempts and thought transitioning was the only way to save my life. I was excited about the idea of hormones because I was terrified of puberty making me look more masculine. I hated the idea of becoming bulky, hairy, or losing my hair. But I was hesitant about surgery. The idea of permanently altering my body, especially getting surgery to create a neovagina, scared me.
That hesitation saved me. I talked to my dad about it. He had always been supportive and accepting of me, even when I was a feminine boy. He helped me dig deeper into why I wanted to transition. He asked me tough questions, like what being a girl actually meant to me, and why I felt I needed to change my body to be happy. Through those conversations, I started to realize that my desire to be a girl wasn't coming from a place of self-knowledge, but from a place of self-loathing and a desire to escape.
I wanted to be a girl because society was cruel to feminine boys. I wanted to be a girl because I thought it would protect me from further abuse. I wanted to be a girl because I had internalized the message that men are supposed to be a certain way, and if I wasn't that, I must be a woman. But I wasn't. I was just a boy who didn't conform to stereotypes. Transitioning wasn't me being true to myself; it was me trying to conform to a different set of stereotypes to gain social acceptance and escape bullying.
Once I realized that, I began the process of detransitioning. I stopped pretending to be a girl. I stopped telling people I was female. I started accepting myself as a gender non-conforming man. I didn't change how I looked or dressed—I still have long hair, I still wear clothes from the women's section, I still have a feminine style. The only thing that changed was my internal understanding of myself. I accepted that my body is male, and that's okay. Liking feminine things doesn't make me less of a man.
Letting go of the belief that I was "truly a girl" was like lifting a huge weight off my shoulders. The intense gender dysphoria I had felt for years—which had driven me to suicide attempts—gradually faded away. It wasn't easy. I lost a lot of friends from the trans community who felt betrayed by my detransition. Some said I was never really trans, others said I was just in denial. Socially, it's still sometimes hard. People often mistake me for a woman, and I sometimes get weird looks or comments, especially in men's bathrooms. But I'd rather deal with that than live a lie.
I don't believe people are "born in the wrong body." I think that feeling comes from other places: trauma, internalized homophobia, societal pressure to conform to gender stereotypes, bullying, or sometimes conditions like autism or OCD. For me, it was a combination of trauma and social pressure. I think the current approach to gender—affirming a person's identity without exploring the root causes of their dysphoria—is dangerous, especially for kids. They can't give informed consent for life-altering medical procedures. I was lucky; I hesitated and avoided hormones and surgery. Many others aren't so lucky and end up with permanent changes they regret, like infertility, breast growth, or botched surgeries.
I have regrets about the time I lost living as a transwoman, the years I spent convinced I was something I'm not. But I don't regret detransitioning. I regret that I was pushed toward transition so quickly by a therapist who didn't try to understand why I felt the way I did. I regret that there isn't more support for people with gender dysphoria that focuses on self-acceptance and exploring the reasons behind those feelings, rather than just immediately affirming the desire to transition.
Now, I'm a happy, gender non-conforming gay man. I'm at peace with myself. I know that being a man doesn't mean I have to be masculine. I can be myself—feminine, emotional, small—and still be a man. That's the most important thing I've learned: self-acceptance is the real cure for dysphoria, not changing your body to fit a stereotype.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 8 | Childhood sexual abuse began; started feeling intense gender dysphoria and wishing I was a girl. |
| 12 | Diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder by a psychiatrist. |
| 17 | Discovered online transgender communities; began socially transitioning and presenting as female; saw a gender therapist who encouraged hormones and surgery. |
| 17-18 | Conversations with my dad led me to realize the root causes of my dysphoria; decided against medical transition and began the process of detransitioning. |
| 18+ | Reidentified as a gender non-conforming man; learned self-acceptance; gender dysphoria resolved. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/HeForeverBleeds:
I don't dislike trans people in general, because most of them are victims of the lies they were fed the same way I was for a while. Mainly I feel badly for them, because a lot of them are suffering like I had been. Especially the young ones who were groomed since they were children
I do dislike trans identity politics. I dislike the mass delusion being spread that people can change their sex. I really hate the idea that when people are suffering psychologically with hatred of their bodies, the solution is to alter and mutilate the body instead of working on treating the mind
And I also disagree with the idea that if people can't identify with their conventional gender roles (a boy prefers "girly" things; a girl doesn't like the stereotypical vanity women are expected to have; a guy doesn't care for the social pressures of what a "real man" supposedly is, etc.) the solution is to change genders instead of challenging the regressive gender stereotypes in the first place
I think it's important for people to see things like this and acknowledge that HRT causes permanent changes that shouldn't be taken lightly. The bone growth is permanently altered, breast growth is irreversible without surgery (which usually leaves scars). And since many children desist, rushing into hormones is irresponsible. As he said, it's experimental and not scientific to think giving hormones will help emotional problems or hatred of one's body
This case reflects how children are still developing their identity, and can be "100%" sure one minute that they're one thing, then unsure the next. Which makes it unfortunate how often experts suggest transitioning to young children, as if they're equipped to make those decisions
It also reflects how much gender stereotypes play into why some young people transition. It's often things like preferring "girls' clothes", "girls' name", not liking body hair, not feeling like typical boys. As if being an atypical boy equates being a girl. Even being scared of puberty and changes is something many children go through, but it doesn't make that child the opposite sex
The recruitment element is very concerning. I was a boy who had been "recruited" because I was a feminine boy and didn't really fit in anywhere else. So seeing other feminine boys (especially minors who don't even fully understand themselves yet) come out as trans makes me wonder how much of their decision stems from indoctrination
Especially since a common idea the community likes to push is "anyone who wants to be/feels like a girl IS a girl". A lot of GNC boys want to be/feel like a girl at some point. Since society is such shit to girly boys, of course the idea of being a girl instead of a pariah seems appealing. And since it often teaches the idea that gender norms are innate, sometimes we'll even feel like we're "truly girls" since we don't act like "real men"
As someone who was apart of it for a while, it does seem like one, to some extent. Especially in how is recruitment method is to prey on people who are lost, vulnerable, and outcasts from society. That was definitely me, as a gender non-conforming boy with gender dysphoria who would get bullied for not being "manly" enough. The trans community seemed like the only place I could be "accepted"
"Brainwash" is a strong word, but they definitely really drilled in the "transgirls ARE GIRLS and anyone who doesn't agree is a hateful, violent transphobe". When I was a kid, I didn't see the issue since I wanted people to see me as a girl. But once I kind of woke up and saw how quickly they turned on me, it became more clear
When I said that I'm no longer a transgirl, that I've accepted that I'm a feminine boy, that I don't want to physically transition (e.g. have implants or a neovagina), there was definitely outcasting. Since my saying that I'm no longer a transgirl meant one of three things:
- That I was never a transgirl. Raising the question, how many other "transgirls" among them aren't actually transgirls?
- I was a transgirl, and was now an egg (trans in denial) due to some internalized transphobia
- I had been truly a dysphoric transgirl, who found a way to manage my dysphoria without transitioning. Invalidating the idea that transition is the only way
Of these ideas, of course the second is the one they liked the most
The stakes are high. Trans activists face discrimination, many see themselves in a life-or-death civil rights struggle. By turning against that lifestyle and decrying puberty blockers for young people, de-transitioners undermine their cause.
Right back at them. Detrans people also face discrimination, and that narrative of "puberty blockers save lives" is extremely one-sided, completely ignoring the young people whose lives are ruined by puberty blockers and HRT. Their whole stance seems to be based on the premise that every child who expresses gender dysphoria must transition to be happy. Not only is this false, but also dangerous and harmful
It's terrible the hate detransitioners receive, though I hope this article raises awareness for this issue. Seeing this kind of thing might have helped me when I was younger, to learn about the regret and the negatives, since all I ever heard (all that was allowed) within the community were the positives of transitioning
The article mentions Shape Shifter, I watched his interview with Blair White and it was one of the most relatable videos I've ever seen. I wish it had existed when I was 15, but this is why it's so important for detrans people to have a platform
It seems like in general the online trans community doesn't help nonconforming or even painfully dysphoric people. It fuels their self-loathing by telling them they're fundamentally flawed as their gender and that the only way they can be happy is by pretending to be something they're not and sometimes permanently disfiguring themselves
I asked if they looked like a woman and she said no.
I do want to say that "looking like a woman" doesn't equate being a woman, anyway. Even if he did "look like a woman", that wouldn't mean anything. The idea that cosmetic changes are enough to make a boy into a girl or a girl into a boy is part of the problem
Because then people like to say "start transkids on blockers and HRT as soon as possible, because then they'll look like the gender they identify as instead of looking like men in drag / butch women". As if blocking natural puberty and taking hormones is enough to genuinely change a person's sex
A man who looks conventionally "feminine" is still a man. It's important to recognize this, because part of my dysphoria stemmed from how I was always very underdeveloped and had a more "girly" physique (and androgynous style) which made me feel like I was better suited to be a girl. Especially since there was a lot of social backlash for being too "feminine" in my appearance and emotions
Accepting that looking and being this way doesn't make me less of a man was a significant step towards full self-acceptance
Asking myself that question is part of what led me to detransition after about a decade of living as a transwoman. In retrospect, in my case what led me to "feel like a girl" was gender stereotypes, social expectations, and childhood abuse.
I "felt like a girl" because I didn't look like what society said boys should look like, nor did I want to. I didn't like the toys or pastimes or interests society said boys should like. As a teenager, I wasn't interested in sex or women, like what teen boys are supposedly obsessed with. The only experience I had with sex was extremely negative and traumatizing, contrary to the notions that guys aren't emotionally affected by sex or that they're always willing.
Basically I discovered that "feeling like a girl" really just meant feeling like I didn't fit in with male social expectations. Feeling like I would fit better into what I imagined a woman's social role was. None of it had anything to do with actually being a woman. Now I would say that I'm a man because I'm objectively male. How I feel about the label or the associated social norms is irrelevant.
TL;DR Being a man or woman is a biological state, not a mental one.
I think basically the people who call detrans content self-harm prefer comforting lies (e.g. "you feel this way, because you truly are the sex you identify as, and the only way to be happy is transitioning ASAP")
And they hate uncomfortable truths (e.g. that fact that for many people transitioning wasn't the cure for gender dysphoria and it did not make them happier)
The wielding of the phrase "self-harm" is particularly nasty- it makes the person go "wow, yeah, that stuff does make me feel kinda icky..." and they end up never exploring why that might be
It's similar to how some will say "if you ever question your trans identity or if you think transitioning isn't going well, you're just experiencing internalized transphobia". Using words like "self-harm" and "transphobia" so liberally, they deliberately try to discourage dysphoric people from considering any alternative to transitioning
The responses there are exactly the kind of thing I heard from the trans community when I was younger, that pushed me into deeper gender dysphoria and dissatisfaction with who I was
I was the same way as how she describes her son. Had always very conventionally feminine, liked skirts and "girly" clothes, painted my nails, had long hair. And just like in this case, the immediate assumption was "that definitely sounds like you're a tgirl and should look into transitioning." Not just for me either; nearly every transgirl in the community I was apart of had the same story of "realizing" they were girls because they had always liked stereotypically feminine things
The assumption made was that we transgirls liked those things because we were girls, though more often we believed we were girls because they liked those things. Everything the mother says about this boy is stereotypically feminine; not a single thing she mentions has anything to do with actually being a girl
Not only is it regressive, but those assumptions also fuel gender dysphoria in gender non-conforming children. It encourages the mindset of "you like these things because you're a girl. You're not meant to be a boy and you can only be true true to yourself by living as a girl as much as possible"
The scariest thing is medical professionals pressuring people into this. It's bad enough when it's peer pressure from trans friends saying that I'll never be happy in my life unless I'm affirmed and allowed to transition. But a lot of people take the word of medical professionals as gospel
A lot of people will support children being allowed to transition so long experts say it's the right thing to do--let alone when they claim is "life-saving." And as he said, even a lot of adults will do something just because medical professionals tell them they should. They're often not truly giving informed consent because they aren't being informed of the potential negative consequences