This story is from the comments by /u/HeavenlyMelody91 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "HeavenlyMelody91" appears to be authentic. The user shares a highly detailed, personal, and consistent narrative of their detransition experience, including specific medical procedures (clitoropexy), health complications (heart issues, panic attacks), and psychological struggles (regret, social pressure). The language is emotionally charged and complex, reflecting the passion and anger common among those who feel harmed by their transition. There are no obvious red flags of bot-like behavior or a fabricated story. The account seems to be a real person sharing their genuine experience as a detransitioned female.
About me
I was a teenage tomboy who felt pressured by a therapist and online friends into believing I was a boy because I didn't fit feminine stereotypes. I took testosterone, and the physical changes like a deeper voice and facial hair immediately felt wrong and foreign to my body. I was told to push through the doubt, but I eventually stopped and had to undergo painful and expensive procedures to reverse some of the damage. I now understand my discomfort wasn't with being female, but with how society treats women, and I deeply regret ever transitioning. Today, I live as a masculine woman, managing the permanent changes with a lot of regret.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started when I was a teenager. I was a tomboy who liked video games, comics, and just hanging out with the guys. I never really felt like I fit in with other girls because my interests were different, and I hated the idea of being seen as feminine or sexualized. I kept my hair short and wore comfortable clothes, usually from the boys' section.
When I was about 15, I started seeing a therapist who put the idea in my head that because I wasn't like other girls, I might actually be a boy. They used stereotypes to convince me that my discomfort with puberty and developing breasts meant I was in the wrong body. I didn't have any feelings about my gender before that; it was this therapist and later, friends online, who persuaded me that transitioning was the answer.
I started taking testosterone when I was 16. Almost immediately, I felt like I had made a mistake. My body began changing in ways that felt wrong and foreign. My voice dropped, I grew facial hair, and my clitoris enlarged, which became extremely sensitive and uncomfortable. I developed a lot of distress over these changes, but when I reached out to the trans community for support, I was told that these feelings were normal and that I should push through the doubt. They said it would get better, so I kept going for over a year, even though every change made me more miserable.
I stopped testosterone when I was 17, but I was pressured into starting again for a couple more months before quitting for good. The damage was done. I had to undergo laser hair removal for the facial hair, and I needed a surgery called a clitoropexy to reduce the size and sensitivity of my clitoris. I lost some sensation because of it, but it was necessary for me to function without constant discomfort. My voice stayed deeper, and my body frame became more masculine than other women in my family. I also bound my breasts, which caused scarring and likely affected their development.
Looking back, I realize that my desire to transition wasn't about truly feeling like a man. It was about hating the way society treated me as a girl. I felt like being a man would give me more respect and freedom from sexualization. I also struggled with internalized misogyny, believing that I couldn't be a woman and still be myself. I now see that women can be masculine, have short hair, wear suits, and enjoy "male" hobbies without needing to change their bodies.
I deeply regret transitioning. It caused me physical and emotional pain, and I spent years and money trying to reverse the changes. I wish I had known that it was okay to be a gender-nonconforming woman. I think the medical and therapeutic communities failed me by not exploring other reasons for my discomfort, like social pressures and internalized homophobia (I'm attracted to women), before jumping to hormones.
Today, I live as a masculine woman. Most people see me as female, though I sometimes get called "sir" because of my voice and style. I've moved on from actively thinking about gender most days, but the regret is always there. I don't think all transition is bad—for some, it might be the right choice—but it was pushed on me without enough questioning, and it wasn't what I needed.
Here’s a timeline of my transition and detransition events:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 15 | Therapist suggested I might be trans; began social transition |
| 16 | Started testosterone |
| 17 | Stopped testosterone initially, then restarted for 2 more months before quitting for good |
| 18 | Underwent laser hair removal for facial hair |
| 20 | Had clitoropexy surgery to reduce size and sensitivity of clitoris |
| Ongoing | Living as a detransitioned woman, managing permanent changes from testosterone |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/HeavenlyMelody91:
What do you mean rights exactly?
If you mean the right to have a job, rent/lease a house, vote, not be discriminated against in the work place, marry, speech and of course other basic rights then of course I support that for any human being.
If you mean support trans rights as in encourage them to redefine what being a man and a woman is while creating a pointless third or even more categories, Belittling aspects of anatomy and biology, erasing lesbians and gay men by insisting that identification takes priority over bodily anatomy. By embracing stereotypes that are degrading and backwards. Oh not to mention destroying female-based shelters that are seclusional of males because the traumatized victim didn't appreciate girl dick. Endangering female criminals by putting a male person who simply says they identify as a woman with a history of sexual related crimes. Then no, I don't support it. Even back when I was trans myself it wasn't this bad.
Ridiculous, wonder how they'll feel when they join us on the other side in discovering that their transition didn't solve everything and was actually an additional factor to their misery. I love that last comment though: "Basically always be extremely skeptical of any anecdotes and never let them sway your opinion or position. They are statically and scientifically valueless" - Like the entirety of Queer Theory and the fact gender is a made up concept that derives on feelings that only seemed to have appeared in the recent years?
We used to be trans too and we used to be on that same side. I don't agree with all GC talking points but when I'm being accused of being a liar because I'm sharing my story, viewpoint and experience in hope someone doesn't make the same mistake I did all because it threatens their little agenda... it's ridiculous.
For our lovely little antagonist stalkers: "Got a good explanation for why as of the recent years more and more people seem to be trans identifying and how a condition that had medical basis and practice now seems to be claiming none of that is necessary in favor of self identifying. Let's also add that in the past transition was an observed male at birth thing and now it seems that in teenage years more and more observed female individuals are identifying as some form of "masculine." - Also no surprise, they stop identifying once they realize that their desire to transition was because of what they thought women were, rather than the reality.
This is why I'm increasingly becoming against trans as a whole, I used to sympathize with truscum but that line is crumbling. Especially with how quick they are to call us liars because transition didn't work out for us.
We appreciate it. It was a hard decision but we need to try and keep the space what it's intended for and stress who it's for. Thank you.
As for your second question, it is not something I can speak of publicly. What I will say is the decision was made because of hostile forces involving reddit users from another community. I wish we could be transparent about her removal but that is mostly what I can specify. The moderation team was not happy about having to relinquish her of her position.
Sometimes I lurk this app on my phone on my couch when I'm off work despite stepping down from activism and moderating and all I can say? I understand why there's a detransitioner movement brewing that says desisters need to shut up. It's real easy for you to talk big when you've done nothing irreversible to your body, lmfao. I still get he/him and sir'd in public cause I'm a testosterone affected butch woman.
This is someone who's in a position that they can't realistically just go back to how things were and now rely on HRT for life. Have some damn thought will you?
This is disgusting... we're not only being coined as ex-trans which I've never heard of anyone using that term except trans activists but it implies you can easily just "go back to being cis" when it isn't that easy. Even in my case I sustain a permanently masculinized appearance and mental issues stemmed and encouraged that were only dismissed as I was trans. They also want to control the information so they can silence or "do something" about those who don't cater to them, this is some scary stuff...
Since it seems you're genuinely questioning your transition despite everything now, I see no real reason to remove your post but my judgement is reserved in seeing how you interact in the future. For the time I see no issue with you posting here, questioners are welcome.
Been noticing this quite a bit with the "true trans, you weren't really trans" types rolling in and spouting on about how they're truly trans and we never were. As an individual I'm annoyed because they've taken over and forced many other subs to give in to their rhetoric and demands. I've also noticed how they feel threatened by us now because the number of detransitioners, muchless those speaking out about transitioning being the wrong choice for them has scared many of them.
As a moderator I have to let these individuals speak as long as they don't make it their point to attack this space and those who it's meant for. We are trying our hardest to make this a fair space and if we allow women and men who aren't trans to be here, then we should allow trans people so long as they follow the rules. This space isn't meant to be exclusive and an echo chamber but rather an area for resources, support and education. That being said, troublesome trans individuals will be removed if they violate the rules, especially rule 6.
I'm afraid to give my honest opinion on this given the current heat. I suppose I'll say, it currently feels like homophobic parents seem more keen on a gender conforming trans child then a nonconforming gay child. However there are cases where a trans child gets cursed with "why couldn't you be gay?!"
Honestly, we never suspected the sub to grow to this number. Really we hoped it'd never get this bad. We've been trying to cross the tightrope of Reddit's policies so this space can persist but we absolutely need problematic posts reported and anyone who seems to be baiting or abusing flairs.
I'm considering asking an old moderator to come back but am concerned as said moderator was considered problematic despite their unbias moderation. The reason I'm considering this is because this moderator is stable in their detransition and only wants to help the community and I'll admit we've been short on hands lately but I want to be assured that we've got moderators who are not going to retransition or will step down if they do.
That said: Not all subscribers are detransitioners or questioning but it's safe to say thousands are at the least.
Edit: After a concerned PM, I will continue to moderate myself and with the other moderator. I will be banning this former-moderator as I will not allow transphobia to be the downfall of the subreddit. There is little evidence supporting their capability as a moderator.
Thank you.
There's a dark side of transition that is neglected, nay it's completely concealed from the light of day now. The mentality involving transition is persuasive, manipulative and arguably abusive.
Although transition is the answer for a handful, it is obviously not the answer for many GNC men and women who should of been diagnosed and treated for their depression, anxiety, PTSD, among other issues first. Now we're at the insanity limit where we're throwing children who yes, should be free to express how they want into this mess. We have gone completely backwards in the regard that we are telling boys that they can't be feminine unless they become trans women and girls that they shouldn't be masculine unless they become trans boys.. it's absolutely sickening. It's also completely proving of the point that we are hurting the youth and in the end this will only hurt those that legitimately suffer from sex dysphoria, to the point some people are doubting whether it's a real condition now.
Even my case which seems to be fairly unique among us here is a tragedy of how wrong their agenda is and what's worse is I transitioned before the insanity that is 2016-2019. I don't even want to imagine how bad off I'd be if I were growing up and transitioning in this age and it truly scares me for any current GNC children who are irreversibly changing their bodies.