This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
Explanation:
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally complex narrative of someone who has had an orchiectomy, takes estrogen, and is grappling with regret and confusion. The user's story evolves over time (e.g., from initial acceptance to deep regret about facial hair loss), and their advice is detailed and specific, reflecting personal experience rather than scripted talking points. The passion and occasional anger are consistent with a genuine individual who has experienced significant harm.
About me
I was born male and from a young age, I felt I wanted to be a woman, a feeling I now see was tied to my struggle with being gay and my interest in feminine expression. I transitioned, taking estrogen and having surgery to remove my testicles, which I deeply regret as it left me infertile and altered my body forever. I’ve come to realize that you can’t actually change your biological sex and that transitioning was a traumatic form of body modification, not a solution for my unhappiness. I now live as a man again and take estrogen only because I have to for my health, but I am trying to regain a more masculine appearance. My goal now is to find contentment by focusing on my relationships and life, rather than how I look.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long, confusing, and, ultimately, filled with regret. I was born male, and from a very young age, even before puberty, I had this persistent feeling that I wanted to be a woman. I now see that a lot of my desire stemmed from my inability to accept my sexuality—I'm gay—and my desire to express things that are considered feminine. I also had a problem with porn and developed some fetishes around emasculation, which I think contributed to my feelings, but they weren't the sole cause.
I decided to transition. I started taking estrogen and had an orchiectomy, surgically removing my testicles. At the time, I thought it was what I needed. I liked the aesthetic effects of estrogen; I found femininity attractive, and my skin softened. But the reality of what I had done hit me hard afterwards. I regret my orchiectomy deeply. I was castrated, and no amount of smooth skin or breast growth was worth that. I’m now infertile, and the process of having a child, if I even could, would be incredibly complicated and expensive, involving IVF and a surrogate.
The surgeries were traumatic in a way I couldn't comprehend until I went through with them. I’ve come to realize that you can never actually become the other gender. As a male, I went from being a normal guy with reproductive ability to being a sterilized person living as a woman, which is a social concept, not a biological reality. I have to take estrogen now for my bone health, but it doesn't make me happy. If anything, transitioning has made it harder to live a normal, well-socialized life. I have constant social anxiety, trouble dating, and I feel like a social outcast.
I’ve also struggled with OCD about my sexuality and gender, and I think being gay made me more susceptible to latching onto transition as a way to escape dealing with my true self. I see now that transitioning is a form of body modification, not a magic solution for unhappiness. Happiness is about family, friends, love, career, and hobbies—not how you look. I was deeply unhappy and thought changing my body was the answer, but it wasn't.
Now, I'm detransitioning in some ways. I still take estrogen out of medical necessity, but I live as a man again. I pass as male. I miss my facial hair and have even ordered minoxidil to try and get some beard growth back after too much laser hair removal. I’ve cried a lot over what I’ve lost. My body has been physically altered forever, and that's hard to live with.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's primarily a social role. You can assimilate into any social role you want without permanently altering your body. I believe that if you are unhappy, you need to get to the root of that instead of changing your body. I wish I had embraced being a feminine man instead of feeling I had to become a woman. If I could go back knowing what I know now, I would have taken a completely different path. But I can't, so my goal now is to make the best of what I have, find contentment, and appreciate the little things in life.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early Childhood | First remember wanting to be a woman. |
| Puberty | Developed intense, obsessive sexuality and emasculation fetishes. Struggled to accept being gay. |
| 20s | Started taking estrogen. |
| 20s | Had an orchiectomy (surgical removal of testicles) after 4 months on estrogen. |
| Now (Post-Detransition) | Living as a man again. Taking estrogen for medical necessity. Regretting surgeries and pursuing partial physical detransition (e.g., trying to regrow facial hair). |
Top Comments by /u/ICircumventPermabans:
I think something a lot of people struggle with is realizing they can never actually become the other gender. As a male to female you’ll go from being a normal guy with reproductive ability to been a masculine woman who is only a woman in the social sense and is also now infertile. You can’t have a baby and surgeries are traumatic once they’ve been done and you can’t comprehend it until you do it.
Well I had the misfortune of being squarely middle class and being able to afford getting an orchiectomy after 4 months. Regret is something you feel later on in life, it doesn’t always hit you in the moment. Sometimes you grow up and realize you had misconceptions about the world and regret follows.
I did both and let me tell you just because I have sperm doesn’t mean the impacts of surgery aren’t still severe on your psyche. The ivf fertilization process is extremely taxing on a females body and not cheap. Artificial insemination isn’t as effective and takes way more sperm and once you’re infertile all you have is a limited amount of vials to try to have a kid. If you aren’t with a woman either of these options will cost you tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars when hiring a surrogate. Freezing sperm seems like a good backup but it’s way more complicated than you are thinking now.
I had my testicles surgically removed and will likely need surgery for my gyno. I also don’t have any body or facial hair any more and have missed that as of lately too. I really want my beard back if possible. I’ve cried a lot of tears over it but no one likes a Debby downer so I just try to keep a good attitude and do positive things in my life. I pass as a male
You know it sucks there are so many generalizations made about trans people. I like hanging out in this sub more than the trans subs because you folks seem to be more logical. I don’t know if I’ll push forward with a social transition or more surgeries and I’m kinda hoping I don’t. After being neutered and getting on E I don’t find myself so jealous of women anymore. I can appreciate my masculinity the more I embrace femininity. It’s funny but I’ve actually found more contentment as a man after starting to experience the effects of hrt. If I could go back knowing what I know now I think I’d go down a different path but obviously that’s not how life works so I personally just try to make the best of what I got.
Happiness isn’t about how you look. Plenty of ugly people are happy.
I regret my orchiectomy. I still take e since I need to take some kind of hormone for my bones.
Was castration worth smooth skin and some boobs? No definitely not.
Do I like the aesthetic effects of estrogen? Sure I find femininity objectively and subjectively attractive.
Does it make me happy? No honestly I don’t really think about it. If anything all I’ve done is made it harder than before to live a normal life as a well socialized adult.
Trans girls/women are girls/women in a social sense but there’s more to being a female than just how you look or social interactions. I respect how people identify but being a trans woman is very different than being a biological woman with XX chromosomes.
There’s no “right” reason but I think there are wrong reasons.
Ultimately if you want to assimilate into a more feminine/masculine role in society transitioning will help you do so. Another person’s perception of you effects your perception of self. I think it’s important to understand transitioning is a form a body modification and to understand and accept all the things that come along with that.
That being said transitioning isn’t going to make you happy if you’re unhappy otherwise because you’re unsatisfied with life. Happiness is effected by all sorts of things. Family, friends, love life, career, hobbies, income…
You’re a boy. Medical transition is a form of body modification. If you’re willing to take the health risks for the aesthetic value you think you’ll be gaining go for it. You can assimilate into any social role you want but you’re still XY. If you’re gonna do it it’d be better to do it young.
If you “just realized your trans” you probably aren’t and will have terrible regrets. I am probably a textbook case of the stereotypical transgender woman in terms of having wanted to be a woman since I understood I wasn’t. Even still I have deep regrets in relation to what I’ve done to myself. The whole transgender wave right now seems like more of a fad than an actual identity crisis but that’s just my take.