NGL while the tattoo is kinda lousy I'm not against artistic and cultural attempts to depict a lack of breasts as also beautiful. Imagine if you had to get one or a double masectomy due to breast cancer, or you preemptively got rid of them because of a genetic predisposotion in your family to developing breast cancer. As recently as the late 80's women who had gotten breasts removed for even serious medical reasons would have doctors telling them how they should wear prosthetic breasts to avoid "scaring" people including other women who were likely going to need their breasts removed. Nowadays women still get shit on, particularly by men, for getting breast reductions for personal reasons not excluding comfort. So as to not make a double-standard or deny my own reality in which top surgery did have a positive impact on my physical and mental comfort, I'll pose that there is no true harm in depicting top surgery in a positive way. It is bad to vilify breasts but also the lack thereof.

Exactly. While I don't really have a preference for they or she, I wouldn't hold it against someone if they aren't sure and use a neutral pronoun because they don't want to go 100% the other way and offend you. If people who are most likely just trying to be decent "pisses you off," you need to step outside yourself for a moment and see things from their perspective. You probably look/sound more androgynous than you'd like. Unless people are maliciously misgendering you there is no reason to get pissed off.

That's an awful way to grow up. I was also groomed and sexually abused, although by an older sibling. I didn't have anyone steering me in the direction of being trans, and even my abuser told me it was a bad idea to transition (before I told my parents about the abuse, which was after my first year in college). Taking hormones alone and for a year probably won't be a huge hindrance when you're detransitioning, since while some changes are considered irreversible a lot can be worked around and you'll still inevitably pass as a woman. Honestly, since you're female, you don't have to prove to anyone you're a woman. It's something you own by virtue of your birth and you don't have to look or sound or act any particular way to have ownership over your sex. As for feeling whole, of course T doesn't fix everything and remaining in abusive relationships will only continue the cycle of losing pieces of yourself. Best case scenario, you get a job so you can afford monthly rent in a cheap apartment, and seek connections outside what you currently have that has harmed you - look for someone who respects your opinions and decisions. If you're able to go to college, or some kind of trade school, do so. You'll feel more whole when you have a purpose in your life. Having an external purpose will also make it easier to deal with your body and circumstances, because fulfilling this purpose develops self-worth and motivation. But right now, you need the basics: food, water, shelter - aka, money and some kind of social support.

There's one study I remember reading that showed trans men on T are closer to x3 more likely than even cis men to have a heart attack. Granted it's probably not 100% causative and there are a lot of factors tlthat contribute to heart health, it's safe to assume the risk factor for trans men is higher than a cis male's.

Teacher will not take anyone - I know a handful of recently certified to teach college grads who have been unable to find work despite applying to many schools that are looking for teachers with their degrees. Substitution is a better bet for employment, though. The sub crisis is worse atm than the teacher crisis. But again, that absolutely requires a college education and/or certification with a college background.

And with any formal kind of childcare work (that isn't just babysitting for pennies on the hour) usually does require some level of certification or prior work experience. Even though they're looking often they're still picky with their candidates.

SAHM is not a job you make money doing ... OP is looking for work, not to get pregnant and live in a single income household taking care of her husband and child. Not to say your list in inaccurate, but it doesn't shine much hope for women looking for work without a degree.

Well, just so you know, you are female no matter how your voice sounds or how some people read you. It's hard to no loner fit into the stereotypical female mold, but you are under no obligation to prove to anyone who you are and you deserve the same respect and live as any other woman. You're not defective or flawed for having taken testosterone in the past and having some lasting effects from it. You have value just the way you are and you're not broken or worth less for having a deeper voice.

There are many reasons not to go into debt for an education that does not guaruntee a job that pays enough to sustain yourself or later pay off said debt. Most people would be better off learning a trade while working an additional job or on the side to supplement for when they're getting an education (even then trade schools and apprecticeships in things like carpentry are still mostly male dominated). If you can't find a job that gives you the hours or wage, how are you supposed to put yourself through school? Why should you have to rely on others as a woman because workplaces that could easily accept you won't? That's basically creating an even bigger problem without having a legit solution at the end of all the trouble. Women should have access to the same basic jobs men have without having to be pretty or put on a little social act to earn the extra tip or subject themselves to psychotic parents who will throw them out the minute their kid gets a scratch on their knee.

My dysphoria basically went away after hormones and top surgery. I'm detransitioning now because I don't feel uncomfortable anymore being recognized as female. I guess I feel more "balanced" than when I had boobs and a high-pitch voice and couldn't grow facial hair. If I want to present as male, I can just grow out my sideburns and wear my fiance's clothes which we share regularly anyway. It's an interesting place of femininity/androgyny and I'm surprised that I like it considering I lived as a binary trans man for a few years.

Why did you stop? There are lots of reasons tbh (I did initially for health concerns). Giving her the benefit of the doubt, it sounds like she's just making an observation amd correlating your depression with your detransition (tbf, it can be pretty depressing). Not that it's right for her to say you must be mistaken, but I get why she's confused and questioning your 180 switch. Detransitioners do also tend to go far in the opposite direction if they stop living as trans for feelings of guilt, which we should all probably be aware of for our own ideological safety. It's easy once in one cult of ideology to get sucked into another.

That makes sense. I get why this kind of stuff is shown a lot in trans spaces, since a lot of people who have had top surgery do still have to deal with top surgery scars which, unless they were incredibly lucky while healing and with what kind of surgery they got, are often highly visible and cause issues in and of themselves. I wish more resources would be provided in these settings for healing after surgery or accepting the body without surgery as still be okay and valuable. The potential downsides are often hidden in most trans spaces and people need the support and body positivity whether they go through with transitioning or not. It especially baffles me when people who have little to no experience with transgender surgeries still make art of it and promote it. It's like a fake-LGBT call to wokeness than something most dysphoric people, living as trans or not, want to publicize. In that sense it's straight-up objectification.