I mean if we look at society as a whole from a feminist perspective. It’s pretty obvious that being a woman isn’t what it’s cracked out to be. In the patriarchal society we live in, those who don’t have the power remain on the menu.

This could absolutely be heresay.. but I wonder how many dysphoric girls and women are experiencing resentment towards their gender associated with the way they’re treated. It’s enticing to believe that someone could remove themself from the menu of the people with power. I think it’s a survivalist mentality that drives at least some folk into transition. I’ve personally dealt with SA and harassment. Adding onto that I’m sure is also how willing people are now to accept trans folk.. at least in comparison to the past. I don’t personally think most trans people feel heroic for being trans. Most of the time we’re stuck in a survivalist and powerless mentality that gets romanticized by media. I think that the heroism/ high virtue of being trans is mostly an external experience that exists in society and not in the actual individuals minds.

To answer your question, there are plenty of right leaning agencies that do look into these things, worry not. The right side of society has left the main spotlight in media with regards to trans issues but it’s still there. I know of at least some right leaning media that does highly regard detrans perspectives.

I think my own story is one of severe frustration luckily, not one of regret, though I do know deep down there is more to explore. I swallowed the narrative ideology so hard. It scares the fork out of me. I had undiagnosed autism and ptsd that never got screened before they handed me hormones. At the time of writing this I can say I was omab, I wasn’t born in the wrong body, and I’m happy about my transition I started a year ago. It has made life, my body, and my relationships way more accessible to me. I feel so much more comfortable and settled with my own reality now. I guess the word for me would be desisted at this point.

However, because I’m in an lgbt addiction facility, I see many many friends coming out as trans all of the time. They absolutely do not understand that it could be a mistake. Instead they are rewarded for their bravery and pipelined towards transition. I struggle to allow them the dignity of having their own experience every day, however, being desisted means I’m able to ask them way more critical questions before hand. Not necessarily to talk them out of an identity, just to help them understand that transition isn’t a one size fits all. That what could be knocking at their door is their hearts call for self acceptance. And sometimes that includes a transition, but frequently it doesn’t! Hence the many happy Tom boys and Femme queens that have existed throughout history :) there’s literally nothing bad or gross about these identities except for the thinking around them.

Ask important questions:) also you need to figure out those questions for yourself! For me, it’s “Am I comfortable looking like a feminized man to others? If I don’t ever pass… will I still be happier with myself??” If my answer is no I need to be perceived as a cis woman and if I don’t ever pass then I’ll end up hating myself… that WILL become a self fulfilling prophecy.

If you’re super rigid with your expectations then you will 10/10 be disappointed with pursuing transition. Only way to go through transition is with a healthy amount of flexibility. If your thinking is rigid then you will break like I did. All in all I wish I had more thoroughly navigated my emotions, intentions, and expectations prior to HRT. That being said….. I was suicidal when I started HRT and I don’t regret finding a way to keep going.

With my adjusted expectations now, I honestly feel happier with myself. The issue of knowing for sure whether or not I’m really trans has taken the backseat. It got pushed there because my healing journey has become the top priority of my life like it should’ve been from the start.

I don’t mean to say I’ve stopped exploring myself. I haven’t… but the focus is very different now. I wish I hadn’t been so rough on myself. So be gentle and patient with your process and with yourself. More will be revealed :) that is the nature of life

I’m tired of the gender wars as well. There is misinformation going around, arguably… progressing trans acceptance is important. But certainly not to the detriment of detrans folx. Hate speech and bullying in online spaces is wrong. Some of the folx in this community used to be your best friends and enjoyed being your friends as well. In general I try and treat cis het people no differently than my visibly queer friends. You never know who may be in the closet. That idea goes in both directions though and I don’t understand the need to ostracize and vilify a community of people for going through a phase. It doesn’t take away from your cause. A shit ton of people in here are still perceived as trans even if they’re just nonconforming.

The trans community was built “I thought” on validating peoples feeling and experiences. Nobody here is stupid for thinking they were trans. A shit ton of trans folx thought they were cisgendered but they don’t seem to see it that way. Hateful hypocrisy to feed the wheel of progress is unacceptable and goes against everything the queer community was built on.

My point is that we need healers not heroes on both sides. People listening to what others have to say. We don’t have to like what someone says to respond healthily and with hope.

^^“True trans” doesn’t exist as a concept… ^^

Absofuckinglutely agree. People have been desperately trying to find a gene or brain pattern or behavior or symptoms or really anything to point at as a reference.

In practice though, the only thing that can actually be referenced is a subjective unit of distress or SUD for short. Measuring that in an honest way… (which is mostly impossible) would most likely indicate that trans identified individuals distress tends to persist or increase all throughout transition with only a few exceptions in the long term.

Just because a person postulates that they would’ve been happier if they HAD been born as the opposite sex doesn’t mean that transition will make them feel any better. The fact of the matter is that they weren’t born the opposite sex and we can’t change that. It doesn’t mean that they were wrong or disproved from their original position! The only thing that matters is that they’re still suffering after transition. Who the fuck knows, maybe they would’ve been better off if they had been born the opposite sex! Here in the 3D though, the answer to that question doesn’t really matter.

What DOES matter is that they are honestly better off from the treatment that’s offered. What you’ll find, especially on this sub, is that transition is wildly and disgustingly distressing for a huge number of people. Changing someone’s internal chemistry and brain/body functions tends to be horrible for a lot of people, to say nothing about the trauma of going under the knife for GRS.

Oh God someone said it… This is a really interesting comment! It’s something I’ve noticed in my own transition and in being around other trans women. I can’t put it into words without engaging with what is labeled as transphobia but I do think you’re right. The whole reason I came out as trans was to drop the “act.” This doesn’t get talked about enough in my opinion but it does make sense. The reason I came out was to drop my mask, not to don a new one.

I’m frustrated with modern trans ideology because of this issue. There is a line that divides trans folks between a) those who want to perform identity and b) people who are trying to stop performing.

In my real life, I know trans people that fit in seamlessly with their cisgendered counterparts in everything but anatomy. I also know trans people with bodies that pass perfectly who cannot for the love of Pete be mistaken for a cis person when you talk to them. They make small efforts to fit in with cis people but it seems like on a very deep level that they don’t know what they’re doing whatsoever. This whole process causes palpable psychological distress that even I can pick up on.

Honestly this experience isn’t really unique to one or two people, it seems to be happening on a wide scale level.

Personally I passed as a woman within 6 months of HRT. It was actually really distressing to receive comments like “I can’t believe you’re actually trans! I just assumed you were cis” from people that I’d known for a few months. Being trans was about not trying to hide anymore for my own sake, but that leads me into my next issue.

So I have autism… and my personal dilemma comes up when I start thinking about how realistically I’m able to mirror people. I know how to act like the people around me seamlessly. I have autism so masking is something that comes second nature to me. It doesn’t come from a bad place but a lot of my masking IS deceptive, designed to cover up what isn’t actually there. I can mimic people so so well. Unfortunately, this is something that has come into the equation of my trans status. I came out as trans in order to alleviate the distress of hiding what IS actually goes on inside of me. It was incredibly disheartening that I didn’t feel fully like myself when people were giving me those comments. I had a deep intuition that I was still burying an important part of myself. I honestly do believe it’s easier for me to act like a girl than it was to act like a boy, but I still wish I didn’t have to act at all. I’m working hard to try to unmask. I think I’ll know what to do with my gender after I’ve progressed in this area.

I relate hardcore to one day riding the high (I also love my bodily changes) and the next day watching my elation come smashing down. I worry that I’ve been trying to hard to change how others feel towards me and how I’m perceived by others. Something that has helped was realizing I can’t and never could control others perceptions or feelings towards me. Trans or not we both deserve love and support.

Hey thanks for the update! Your feelings are totally valid. For a while I thought I was just powerless over my desire to be trans. It led me into believing I was weak for transitioning, not strong. I think it’s brave to try to be yourself. Trans issues aside.

I will add… especially with MTF culture. Be careful not to get swept into binary pass culture. Lean towards self acceptance and know that you could some day feel differently. Making a good decision for yourself is what’s most important. Be brave and be kind to yourself!

There is definitely such a thing as gender dysphoria. Even reverse gender dysphoria! I think there needs to be a clear distinction between sex based dysphoria vs gender dysphoria. I’ve watched too many trans people end up isolated and emotionally unwell from not belonging to the group they tried to transition into. A part of this I think stems from the sexes being kept in obscurity from each other. A lot of trans people don’t know what it’s like to live as the opposite gender but are totally valid for wanting something to change in their lives! I wonder how much the media representation of how genders conduct themselves influences what people think they want for themselves?

Maybe try taking away the labels? Don’t worry about being a feminine man, focus on being a feminine person instead. Sounds like the binary thinking is leading you into some shame, I can relate! Too many labels leads me into overthinking the whole thing.

That being said I’ve met some seriously beautiful and feminine men in my time. I find them extremely attractive because they go against what the world says they should be. And do it in a natural and embodied way. There’s a certain poise and grace about them that’s supernatural :)