genderaffirming.ai 

Reddit user /u/Impressive-Ad-94's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 16 -> Detransitioned: 21
female
low self-esteem
regrets transitioning
escapism
trauma
depression
influenced online
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
only transitioned socially
benefited from non-affirming therapy
suspicious account
This story is from the comments by /u/Impressive-Ad-94 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.
User Authenticity Assessment: Suspicious Account

Based on the provided comments, there are serious red flags suggesting this account is potentially inauthentic and not a genuine detransitioner or desister.

The primary red flag is the user's self-identification as a therapist and PhD candidate researching the topic. Their comments read less like personal experience and more like a professional giving consistent, unsolicited, and often copy-pasted therapeutic advice. They repeatedly use clinical language ("IFS," "limbic system," "ACE's," "psychosocial contagion") and make authoritative claims about research they are supposedly conducting, which is atypical for a support forum where people primarily share lived experiences.

While a real detransitioner could become a therapist, the complete absence of any personal detransition narrative, combined with a highly consistent, lecture-like tone focused on a single trauma-based etiology for gender dysphoria, suggests this account is being used to promote a specific ideological or professional viewpoint rather than to share a genuine personal journey.

About me

I started feeling intense anxiety about my female body when I was 15 and became convinced I was meant to be male. Online communities affirmed this and I socially transitioned, but it was just an escape that didn't fix my underlying trauma. I was lucky I never took hormones, and starting therapy helped me uncover how my childhood pain caused me to reject being a girl. I learned my distress was from a need for comfort and safety, not a true male identity. I am now at peace, fully accepting myself as a female and healing from my past.

My detransition story

My journey with gender started when I was very young, but it really took over my life in my early teens. I was around 15 when I became deeply uncomfortable with my body and the changes of puberty. I felt a lot of anxiety and confusion, and I genuinely believed that my distress was because I was meant to be male. I now see that a huge part of this was my brain still developing; the massive changes happening in my head amplified all my fears and confusion.

Looking back, I realize my feelings were also tied to trauma and a disrupted attachment from my childhood. I didn’t have a secure bond with my primary caregiver, and I think that made me detach from my own femaleness. I started to believe that being a girl was bad or unsafe. This feeling was so strong that I mistook it for gender dysphoria. I also struggled with low self-esteem and depression, which made everything feel much worse.

I was heavily influenced by what I saw online. The communities I was in affirmed my feelings without question and told me that transitioning was the only way to be happy. I started to socially transition, and for a while, it felt like an escape from all my pain. It gave me a new identity to hide behind. But it didn’t fix the underlying issues. I was running from myself.

I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I am so grateful for that now. I see the stories here of people who have had top surgery or taken testosterone and are now dealing with serious health complications or infertility, and my heart breaks for them. I was lucky that I started to question things before I did any permanent damage.

What helped me the most was starting to see a non-affirming therapist. I found someone who was willing to explore my life with me, without an agenda. We dug into my childhood trauma and my attachment issues. I learned that my desire to be male was rooted in fear and a need to escape from my own life, not in a true identity. This kind of therapy saved me. It helped me understand that my core self, my true spirit, was always okay with being female. It was the wounded, scared parts of me that were rebelling.

I also realized that a lot of my discomfort with my body was related to something called "skin-hunger"—a deep need for comforting touch that I didn't get as a child. This had gotten sexualized and confused with dysphoria. Simple things like using a weighted blanket or patting my dog helped soothe that distress in a way that transitioning never could.

I don’t regret exploring my gender because it led me to a deeper understanding of myself, but I deeply regret ever believing that changing my gender was the solution. It wasn’t. The solution was healing the trauma inside me. I now believe that gender ideology is a psychosocial contagion that preys on vulnerable young people, especially those with trauma, autism, or other mental health struggles. It offers a simple, dramatic answer to complex pain, and it causes so much harm.

I am now comfortable living as a female. I see that my personality has both masculine and feminine traits, and that’s perfectly normal and okay. I don't believe that gender and biological sex can be separated. I am at peace with my body.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
15 Intense anxiety and puberty discomfort began. Started to believe I was meant to be male.
16-17 Socially transitioned; was heavily influenced by online communities.
19 Began to seriously question my transition after the feelings of distress did not improve.
20 Started non-affirming, exploratory therapy focused on trauma and attachment.
21 Realized my dysphoria was rooted in trauma, not identity. Stopped identifying as trans.
22 Fully accepted myself as female and began healing from my childhood trauma.

Top Reddit Comments by /u/Impressive-Ad-94:

29 comments • Posting since April 2, 2022
Reddit user Impressive-Ad-94 (verified counsellor ✅) explains how childhood trauma and disrupted attachment are well-researched contributors to gender dysphoria, which can be healed over time.
44 pointsApr 13, 2022
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There is a TON of research, going back decades. Sadly it often gets buried in the ideological nonsense we now call science.

Childhood trauma, which is referred to as complex trauma, and developmental trauma, affects brain development, and is a contributing factor to a range of issues, including gender distress.
Another well researched, and ignored problem, is disrupted attachment. Even without direct abuse, if your mother didn't look after you well, or was affected by drugs and alcohol, you develop maladapted ways of being. One of those is to detach from the gender that "failed" you, and this develops into gender dysphoria, same sex attraction, and a host of other issues.

The good news is, you can heal those wounded parts of you, over time.

Most of the research articles are focused in specific areas, so make heavy reading. So, let me look through my books and see if I can find something to send you to read that's a bit more comprehensive. (I am happy to chat anytime also).

Reddit user Impressive-Ad-94 (verified counsellor ✅) explains how fear and the failure of transition as a solution leads to defensive attacks, comparing the current gender ideology to historical medical failures like promoting smoking.
43 pointsApr 23, 2022
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It is largely rooted in fear. People don't know what to do to feel better. The current ideology is that changing sex is the answer. it is just too scary to acknowledge that hasn't worked. So people are triggered into their limbic system and attack. Your defence of what you view to be normal, is misinterpreted by them as an attack on their existence. It is sad, complicated, and will eventually fail. Whilst it's not an equal comparison, not very long ago, doctors were promoting smoking, and incest was "recommended" as both harmless, and useful for childhood development.

The separation of gender and biological sexuality will eventually become a historical failure also.

Reddit user Impressive-Ad-94 (verified counsellor ✅) explains why affirming gender dysphoria without exploring its potential roots in trauma and adverse childhood experiences is unethical and harmful, not therapy.
28 pointsApr 25, 2023
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No, that is not therapy at all. It is not possible for anything therapeutic to happen when a therapist is not naive, neutral, and exploratory. Especially given the growing evidence of harm caused psychologically and physically, and the deliberate suppression of the realtionship between dysphoria, trauma, and ACE's. I personally think it's beyond unethical, it is evil to affirm what is probably unhealed trauma.

Reddit user Impressive-Ad-94 (verified counsellor ✅) explains that a commenter's dysphoria is trauma-induced, advises finding a non-affirming trauma therapist, and offers online help.
27 pointsApr 17, 2023
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Wow that is so tragic, and that therapist should also be in prison. Your dysphoria is trauma induced for sure. Healing is possible, but may be quite a journey. If I can be any help online please reach out. Ideally find a non affirming therapist who specialises in trauma, and unpack the moral injury you suffered.

Reddit user Impressive-Ad-94 (verified counsellor ✅) explains why they believe affirming gender care professionals are causing endemic harm and traumatizing people.
19 pointsApr 25, 2022
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The harm being done by affirming professionals is both endemic and evil. Thankfully, posts like yours help open others eyes to the need to find decent professionals who haven't succumbed to the ideological lies being promoted in so many professions, and traumatizing so many!

Reddit user Impressive-Ad-94 (verified counsellor ✅) comments on suicide rate research, stating their PhD indicates higher rates post-transition and that ethics committees block studies on exploratory therapy due to ideology.
19 pointsApr 25, 2023
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Depending on what you mean, there are stats on suicide rates for transitioners and anecdotal rates for detransitioners. ( I am doing my PhD in this area). There is no research on suicide rates comparing gender affirming therapeutic intervention and gender exploratory intervention because the universities won't allow it to be studied. Anything that disagrees with the woke ideology isn't passed by ethics committees.

The limited information I have so far indicates that people commit suicide at far higher rates AFTER transition. However I don't have enough data yet to state that as fact.

Reddit user Impressive-Ad-94 (verified counsellor ✅) explains that the urge to transition may be a psychosocial contagion, suggesting many individuals are actually gay or bi and need healing from trauma rather than life-altering medical procedures.
19 pointsApr 25, 2023
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Another thought for you, based on actual research is that you may just be gay or bi. Historically you would have just enjoyed that. Trans ideology has sort of made that not ok. It's a psychosocial contagion that trans is the answer to any non normative sexual attraction, body dysmorphia, or gender dysphoria. There is no evidence that it's true. This forum highlights that. I have lost count of the number of members here angry and devastated because they were affirmed into life altering surgery and drug dependence, when what they needed was healing, typically from dysphoria and trauma.

Reddit user Impressive-Ad-94 (verified counsellor ✅) explains how "skin-hunger" from a lack of physical touch in childhood can be sexualized and mistaken for gender dysphoria.
16 pointsApr 5, 2022
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I wonder if it's OK to suggest something a bit different to you. Reading your post, makes me wonder if you may be suffering from 'skin-hunger'. It is easily sexualised, and typically occurs when you weren't held much as a baby, or if you lose your primary comforter/caregiver prior to your teens.

What this sets up is an insatiable need to be touched, which gets eased by the softness of certain types of clothing against your skin, or, as in my own life, the feel of water on my skin is soothing.

However, usually it gets sexualised and then it feels like lots of things, including dysphoria.

I'm wondering if you've ever sat and patted a dog or a cat for any length of time, and noticed how you felt? Or sat under a weighted blanket and noticed how you feel? If skin hunger resonates at all, I could send you some things you could try to see if it reduces your distress. Let me know!

Reddit user Impressive-Ad-94 (verified counsellor ✅) comments on a link between adverse childhood events and gender dysphoria, citing a 2019 study.
16 pointsApr 13, 2022
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This is just an example of the research being done, and largely ignored:
Adverse Childhood Events and Gender

Reddit user Impressive-Ad-94 (verified counsellor ✅) explains the educational requirements for counseling and advises on how to explore the field later in life.
14 pointsApr 16, 2023
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In many countries now you require atleast a bachelor's degree to join any counselling association. If you feel called to do this, go and do a couple of papers and see if you like it. It's not for everybody. I do it full time now but didnt start till I was in my late 50s.