This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The user demonstrates a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal understanding of detransition, desistance, and the surrounding ideological debates, which aligns with the passionate and often critical perspective of many genuine detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I started identifying as nonbinary in art college, swept up in a culture where it felt like a creative way to explore identity. For years, I obsessed over gender politics, trying to resolve a deep discomfort by intellectualizing everything. I now see that my struggle was more about being a neurodivergent man who didn't fit stereotypes, not about having a different gender identity. I've come to believe that dysphoria is often a sign of poor cultural gender relations, not something innate. I'm now a detransitioned man, learning to accept my sex while dressing and acting however I want.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been long and complicated, and it’s taken me a long time to understand it. It all started for me back in 2015 when I was in art college. I was already androgynous, and the culture there was very specific. It felt like half of my artist friends were identifying as trans or nonbinary. At the time, it felt nonconformist and avantgarde, a way to explore identity aesthetically. So, I started identifying as trans nonbinary. Looking back, I see it was very much a response to the cultural moment. It was like nonbinary was therian for art kids and leftists.
For a long time, I was deeply invested in gender politics, both during my transition and my detransition. I have a tendency to intellectualize and obsess over things—hobbies, politics, philosophy—and gender was a huge one for almost fifteen years. I think transition spoke to some part of my experience that felt unresolved, and I kept hammering at it. I’ve explored so many theories, deconstructed what people call "trans ideology," and tried to just put the subject down. I’ve even deleted my Reddit accounts, but I keep coming back to communities like this. It’s almost like fighting off a cult or a religion; some people feel really violated by the lack of logic being imposed on society.
I don’t regret my time identifying as nonbinary. It was a beautiful and creative experience for me, and it was part of my journey. But I deeply regret the unhealthy, politicized understanding of sex and gender that I had. I came to realize that a lot of what’s happening now is that activists have replaced the idea of gender expression (like being a masculine woman or a feminine man) with gender identity. This encourages people who might have just had cool, nonconforming fashion to consider a dissociative identity, new pronouns, and even body modification.
I’m skeptical of transition in general now, especially when people jump into it quickly. I’m skeptical of anyone who doesn’t start with social transition for a few years, then maybe hormones, and then, only as a last resort, surgery. How can you know it's right without taking it slow? To me, rushing into it sounds like escapism. I’ve come to believe that for many, dysphoria is a sign of poor gender relations in our culture, not some innate quality. Being deeply uncomfortable in yourself is not a beautiful experience. It reminds me of how depression was once narrativized as an innate quality instead of a consequence of life conditions. The same is happening with gender dysphoria; it's a system-justifying ideology.
A big part of my own detransition was accepting my sex. I’m a man. It’s still hard for me to say that sometimes, given my experiences, but I’m working on it. Life is much easier and clearer when you identify with your sex. You can still dress and act however you want. The concept of a "gender identity" feels dissociative and unhealthy to me now. I’ve even tried to get words like "masculine" and "feminine" out of my vocabulary. They don’t feel helpful.
I also think being neurodivergent played a huge role. I don’t connect well with most other men, and for a long time I thought that meant I had a different "gender identity." But I’ve realized it’s probably because I’m creative and neurodivergent. I relate super well to other artsy, neurodivergent people, regardless of their sex. Most of my friends feel the same alienated way about their peers. It’s about finding your tribe, not changing your body.
Lately, I’ve been learning about concepts like autogynephilia (AGP) and autoandrophilia (AAP). I think these ideas explain a lot of experiences, but they're super stigmatized. It’s basically an "inward heterosexuality" – becoming what you love. I think a lot of people transition because of this, but it can just be a fantasy; you don’t have to act on it.
My thoughts on gender now are that it’s not something you are, but something you do. If you can live without medically transitioning, that’s great. Detransition is about being yourself. The people who will be happiest for you are the cis people in your life who have probably been biting their tongues the entire time. The only people who might have a problem with you detransitioning are trans people who are fragile about their own identities. If detransitioning hurts their feelings, you need better friends who care about you and not their ideology.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Around 20 (2015) | Started identifying as trans nonbinary while in art college, influenced by the culture and my friends. |
| Mid-20s | Lived as nonbinary for several years, deeply involved in gender politics and ideology. |
| Late 20s | Began to question my identity and the concept of gender identity itself. Started the process of detransition. |
| 30s (Now) | Fully identified as a detransitioned man. Working on accepting my sex and living without the framework of gender identity. |
Top Comments by /u/Inner_Elderberry_457:
Yes, definitely tell your mom. Trust me, she will be so relieved.
Hey friend, I know everything must feel dark and confusing right now, but it gets better. ♡
This is the start of self acceptance -- and not the version activists told you. Connecting with your natal sex and having a more material identity is the start of responsibility, self love and understanding. Best of luck with this next chapter.
When you detransition, you come to find that what was "transphobic" was actually just genuine concern and critique of bad ideas all along. People can transition if they want to, but 90% of the modern trans movement is neo-religious garble. You don't have to appease the cult once you left it, but you can still respect people are doing what they feel is best for them individually.
There's a lot of mental illness and personality disorder in the trans community in general. Sustaining such an artificial identity and needing to convince themselves and others that it is "real" probably puts them in such an awful defensive state. I know I was more defensive and neurotic when trans.
I'm not sure if Blanchard's typology accounts for the massive spike in trans population over the past decade. I've enjoyed learning about his typology, but the context for transition is radically different today.
lol, I know the one... Trans people should stop posting here if they only want to hear "trans ppl are 100% real and valid (TM) and you were all just fake trans."
For many of us, accepting our sex and moving away from modern conceptions of gender identity was integral to our detransition. Even in our detransition, they think they're in a position to police language.
Gender has become such a massive conversation and artists respond to culture.
I went to an art college. I was already androgynous and found myself identifying as trans nonbinary in response to the cultural moment in 2015. Half of my artist friends later became nonbinary or trans. Nonbinary is essentially gender being aesthetically explored with a postmodern approach. It was nonconformist and avantgarde, but in a sense has become its own sort of redundant conformity.
I hope people move on. Nonbinary is just therian for art kids and leftists.
This conversation is difficult because we all might have differing conceptions of trans really is.
Some people "really" have dysphoria.
Some people "really" don't like being their sex.
Some people "really" enjoy transition.
Yet if you're asking if there is a subset of human that is inherently trans? No, that idea is incoherent.
Were your feelings prompted by the US election? After reading the proposed trans policy changes, I felt this responsibility for my opinions suddenly as they may become a reality. How sure am I that my beliefs will better the health of trans people?...
Truth is, I do believe transition works well for some. I don't appreciate the prominence of the disagreeable postmodern ideological aspects in our culture, nor the coersion and censorship. But I don't want to see anyone hurt either. It's a challenging feeling to contest aspects of something without condemning it as a whole.
In the end, I think we only help resolve the disagreeable parts. Detrans people are a powerful dialectic against gender identity essentialism. I feel your data may be important.
Hey friend, that's called autogynephilia (AGP). It's a super stigmatized origin for most hetero male transwomen. Plenty of men with this attraction live without transitioning too. It can just be a fantasy. Check out the askAGP sub.
As far as porn addiction, I'm a little skeptical of how often this is thrown around. Unless it's more than once a day, maybe "porn reliant" is a bit more accurate in most cases? I only use it every other time now, and I feel more connected to my sexuality. I would be careful with the hentai you mentioned -- those hypersexual depictions of women are a bit much.
Try not to see trans as something you are, but rather, something you do.
If you want to work on building a healthier relationship with your body, your sex, your expression, your understanding, then detransition. Life is much easier and clearer when you identify with your sex. You can still dress and be however you want. The gender identity is an dissociative and unhealthy concept.