This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's story is highly specific, emotionally resonant, and internally consistent across multiple comments over several months. They describe a nuanced and painful personal history of trauma, a severe birth injury leading to physical and psychological distress (including dysphoria), and a clear stance of being a desister who understands the desire to transition but has chosen not to. The language is natural, and the passion and anger expressed are consistent with someone who has experienced significant harm.
About me
I am a woman who developed a deep hatred for my female body because of the abuse and sexualization I endured growing up. For twenty years, I lived happily as a woman, but a horrific birth injury that caused chronic pain and damage sent me back into that dark place of distress. My dysphoria isn't about my identity; it's a direct response to the trauma of the injury that destroyed my sense of bodily integrity. I feel isolated from both women's support groups and trans spaces because my experience is rooted in trauma. Now, I'm planning a hysterectomy for my health and have found crucial support here that my own doctors never provided.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, but it all comes back to trauma. I am a woman, and I know I'm a woman, but for a long time, I hated being female. That hatred wasn't about being born in the wrong body; it was about the way I was treated because I was born female.
It started in my childhood, which was filled with extreme abuse. I was a victim of child sexual abuse, and my maternal family was overbearing and abusive. They forced this incredibly strict, old-fashioned idea of what a woman should be on me. I was made to read a "Ladies Handbook" from 1932 to learn how to behave. When I got my period, it was a source of humiliation, not information. I was just handed a pamphlet from the 1950s and these huge, obvious pads with no explanation. I had to figure everything out myself.
The world outside my home was just as bad. Boys at school would try to grope us and lift our skirts, and no one acted like it was a big deal. Boys I'd been friends with for years would suddenly try to sexually assault me the moment we were at a party without parents. Old men would leer at us when we were just developing breasts, and it was somehow framed as our fault. The media was heavily sexualized, and we were told "girls can do anything," but the expectation was still to just marry well. My friend, at 14, was living with her 35-year-old boyfriend. It was a horrible environment. It's no mystery why I wanted to erase every female part of my body. I associated being a woman with being victimized, humiliated, and powerless.
I moved past that dark place in my teens. I lived as a woman, just fine, for twenty years. I got married and had kids. I thought I had put those feelings behind me.
Then, I suffered a life-changing birth injury. It was horrific – a spinal injury, torn pelvic muscles, multiple prolapses, chronic pain, and heavy bleeding. It’s been three years, and the physical horror of it sent me right back to that same dark place I was in as a teen. The injury is so bad that my inner organs feel like they're exposed to the outside world. I have panic attacks just thinking about looking at my own body. I was even banned from a women's birth trauma sub for describing the injury, which made me feel even more isolated.
This medical trauma has given me dysphoria all over again. I don't want to transition; I know I'm a woman. But I need to acknowledge these feelings of distress and anger that my body has been so irreparably damaged. I feel ostracized everywhere – from groups for women with similar injuries because my feelings are too intense, and from trans spaces because I attribute my dysphoria to trauma. The only place I've found helpful information is here, learning about things like hysterectomies and hormonal health.
I am planning to have a hysterectomy for my physical health, and mentally, it will be a relief. Learning from this community that I should try to keep my cervix to preserve my ability to orgasm was crucial information my own doctor never mentioned.
Looking back, my thoughts on gender are clear to me: my dysphoria was never an innate identity. It was a direct response to trauma – first the trauma of growing up female in a misogynistic and abusive environment, and then the trauma of a severe medical event that destroyed my sense of bodily integrity. I don't regret not transitioning socially or medically when I was younger because I know it wouldn't have addressed the real problems. My regret is the trauma I endured and the injury that brought it all back. I benefited from simply living my life and working through my past, not from any gender-affirming therapy. My struggle is with the damage done to me, not with being a woman.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | History of extreme abuse and CSA. Developed a deep hatred of female body due to misogynistic environment and sexualization. |
| Early Teens | Intense discomfort and dysphoria related to puberty and female development. |
| Late Teens to Late 30s | Lived as a woman for 20 years. Married, had children. Moved past the early dysphoria. |
| Late 30s | Suffered a severe, life-altering birth injury causing chronic pain and physical trauma. |
| Early 40s (Present) | Dysphoria returned as a direct result of the birth injury. Planning a hysterectomy for medical reasons. Acknowledging trauma-based dysphoria. |
Top Comments by /u/InterVectional:
I don't expect my experience to be very relatable but it's obviously a how to guide to create gender dysphoria so I'll say it.
I'm a victim of CSA & overbearing abusive maternal family members who dgaf. As a child I was made to read the '1932 Ladies Handbook' to learn how to comport myself. When I got my period I was handed a pamphlet from the 1950's & a packet of enormous pads that were completely obvious through clothing, literally one step away from needing to clip them to a belt. No talk, nothing. I was constantly humiliated over it until I figured it out & could buy modern products myself.
Boys would openly try to grope us & lift our skirts up at school, no one thought this was wrong. Boys we'd been friends with since childhood would try to SA us the moment we had our first unaccompanied sleepover/party/drink, etc. Random old men leering at our breast buds was pointed out to us as though it was our fault despite being too young for bras. My 14 yr old friend was openly living with her 35 yr old bf who signed her school permission slips.
We were bombarded with heavily sexualized media. It was not uncommon for old male TV hosts to make Jimmy Saville style jokes while the female hosts were rotated out as they aged. "Girls can do anything!" was suddenly a popular slogan but we still weren't encouraged to go to university or do anything besides try to "marry a nice businessman".
It's not a mystery as to why I wanted to erase all of it from my body.
Presuming to tell another what you think they're thinking as opposed to simply listening is so rude it makes me physically cringe...but in saying that I definitely don't belong here either.
I'm much older, married with kids & lived as my gender just fine for 20 years. I'm not questioning anything. I know I'm a woman. It's just trauma all the way down. I have a childhood history of extreme abuse & hated being female. But I moved past it.
Then I suffered a life changing birth injury & holy hell I'm right back to struggling with being female again. I won't get into it but the injury is so bad that I was banned from a sub for describing it when the topic was advocacy for women's birth trauma.
There's nowhere else I don't feel ostracized either for feeling dysphoric or for attributing it to trauma. I don't want to transition but I do want to acknowledge my dysphoric feelings & that medical malpractice has irreparably damaged my body. I don't fit in anywhere but the hysterectomy/hormonal health info posted here is top notch. I would have suffered a lot more without it.
Maybe lost in translation? As in they have another preferred candidate but refer to all young women as girls? Otherwise I'm shocked at the deliberate rudeness considering you referred to yourself in feminine terms.
Italy is still pretty "traditional" & the archtypal tv college girl appearance is sought after. A professional headshot might remove some judgement...but honestly, your appearance is fine. I think their response to you indicates they're a poor fit for any au pair.
Don't get me started on the fucking pope, lol.
The Catholic Church is the biggest threat by far to children. The ugliest danger of our time was the way they colluded with the police to prevent victims reporting, investigating & escaping abuse.
Everyone thinks Francis is progressive. He is not. He's a scumbag still actively preventing reasonable settlements & dragging victims through the wringer. Pretty sure they're still fighting legal cases to avoid fulfilling reasonable child protection requirements in their youth groups & schools.
It blows my mind that people still send their children to private Catholic schools. They just got busted again last week for protecting another paedo. They're a Mafia. Nothing more.
This sub taught me it's best to retain your cervix as otherwise you may lose the ability to orgasm. Most important info imo & the gyno did not mention it all.
I'm having one done eventually. I have a severe birth injury & my periods are horrific. I absolutely understand why you'd be considering this option as it's so debilitating. Good luck x
It's a long story & I'll try my best to be brief & not crude. Essentially I have a spinal injury & a life altering birth injury with torn pelvic muscles, multiple prolapses, chronic pain, heavy bleeding, etc. The horror of existing with it has sent me right back to the dark place I was in my early teens. It's been 3 years & I still have panic attacks just thinking about looking down there.
I need a hysterectomy for physical health reasons but mentally it would be a relief not to feel my inner workings expose themselves to the outside world every time I move. It's incredibly distressing to live like this.
Yeah, I read it & it hit me like a slap in the face. Just casually dropped it like calling someone a bearded woman from a freak show is normal conversation. Nasty, nasty. Her response was great tho.
In my personal experience I've found there's a horrifying amount of men who really resent women & find great glee & a little sexual thrill from "taking them down a notch".
The freak show commenter was really triggered by the idea that a woman would be fine with facial hair. Idk if the reason for that is a projection of "how dare you be confident when I'm not" or "how dare you not comply to my sexual preferences"...but either way it was giving mgtow vibes. Not the energy we care for here, in any case.