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Reddit user /u/Ioxenya's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 18 -> Detransitioned: 21
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
regrets transitioning
escapism
depression
influenced online
body dysmorphia
puberty discomfort
anxiety
only transitioned socially
benefited from non-affirming therapy
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no clear red flags indicating a bot. The user demonstrates strong, emotionally charged opinions consistent with a passionate detransitioner/desister, including personal investment in the subreddit's purpose and use of gendered language ("she"). The arguments, while aggressive, show a coherent (if heated) engagement with the topic, not scripted or bot-like behavior.

About me

I started feeling a deep discomfort with my body as a teenage girl when I began developing breasts. I found an explanation online that I was a boy, and I socially transitioned for a few years thinking it was the answer. I eventually realized that changing my outside didn't fix my internal depression and self-hatred. With therapy, I understood my feelings were about trauma and societal pressures, not my body itself. I am now a woman again, working on my mental health and grateful I didn't make permanent changes.

My detransition story

My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was born female and I always felt a deep discomfort with my body, especially when I hit puberty. I hated developing breasts; it felt like my body was betraying me and becoming something I didn't recognize or want to be. This was mixed with a lot of depression and anxiety that I didn't understand at the time.

Looking back, I think a lot of my feelings were rooted in a deep-seated self-hatred and an inability to cope with the changes that come with growing up. I was also heavily influenced by what I saw online. I found communities that offered an explanation for my pain: that I was born in the wrong body and that I was actually a boy. This felt like an escape from all my problems. It gave me a new identity to latch onto, one that felt powerful and in control, unlike the confused and uncomfortable girl I felt like.

I socially transitioned in my late teens. I cut my hair, changed my name, and started binding my chest. For a while, it felt like a solution. I felt a sense of relief and community. But the initial high didn't last. The underlying issues of depression and low self-esteem were still there, they just had a new name. I started to realize that changing my outside didn't fix what was broken on the inside.

I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I am incredibly grateful for that now. I came to understand that my desire to transition was a misguided attempt to solve other, deeper problems. I was using transition as a form of escapism. I've benefited greatly from non-affirming therapy, which helped me address my underlying trauma and self-image issues without automatically affirming a transgender identity. It helped me see that my body wasn't the problem; my mental health was.

My thoughts on gender have completely changed. I no longer believe that I was ever a man. I believe I am a woman who was deeply uncomfortable with the societal expectations placed on me and with the natural process of becoming an adult. I see now that my feelings were a form of body dysmorphia, not dysphoria. I strongly regret transitioning socially. I regret the years I spent living as someone I wasn't and the damage it did to my sense of self. I am now comfortable living as a female again.

I believe that biological sex is real and immutable. Women are adult human females. No amount of surgery or hormones can change that. My experience in online trans communities showed me how cult-like and dismissive they can be of anyone who questions the ideology, especially detransitioners. They are not interested in hearing our stories because we are a problem for their narrative. That's why spaces like this, where we can speak honestly without censorship, are so vital.

Age Event
13-14 Started puberty. Felt intense discomfort and hated developing breasts.
16-17 Discovered transgender communities online. Began to believe I was a boy.
18 Socially transitioned: changed name, cut hair, began chest binding.
20 Began to question my transition. Underlying depression and anxiety persisted.
21 Started non-affirming therapy. Stopped identifying as male and began detransitioning.
22 (Now) Living comfortably as a female. Working on underlying mental health issues.

Top Comments by /u/Ioxenya:

6 comments • Posting since August 3, 2022
Reddit user Ioxenya (desisted female) comments about misogyny and lack of education in a detransition discussion.
16 pointsAug 20, 2022
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No, they are not, and you know that) But unfortunately your misogyny wouldn't give you the ability to embrace that fact. The only thing that missing for you is the common sense, medical (and even base) education and the ability to google therminology😈

Reddit user Ioxenya (desisted female) explains that "biological women" and "trans women" are definitive terms, arguing against language that she feels erases women.
15 pointsAug 20, 2022
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Nah, we already invented proper language. Biological women. Trans women. Crossdresser. Drag queen. See? You already have defenitive words to use and don't need to erase half of humanity while speaking. I dont expect you to realise that right now, by the way, or at least before the end of the decade💕

Reddit user Ioxenya (desisted female) argues that biological sex is defined by chromosomes and reproductive capability, asserting that trans women can never be biological mothers or truly female.
14 pointsAug 20, 2022
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Women are more, than birth machines! In fact, we are human beings that are born with two xx chromosomes DNA that allowes us to produce biological estrogene, which gives us those female abilities that no transwoman would be able to achive in her entire life) You would know that, if only you would get basic school education for good.

All of that takes us to the point, that she will never be a good mother. Because she basically can't bear a child) Good mother figure? Yes. Better mother figure then many of actual women in motherhood? Maybe.

They are luck of only ovaries? Are you siriously that stupid, girl😙?

And yes, i dont care about your fanfiction, that you call "advanced biology". Just like the rest of the world. Because there is much more people in the world, than an entire USA population, that will laugh at your face, when you will try to convince them in your sectant beliefs. Jees, even in your country right now is growing massive right wing movement, that will put an end to this nonsense in a decade. Google what actual detrans people think about all that, educate yourself) oh, wait. You dont need to. You are talking to one right now)

By the way, you still can avoid people, who are angry with all the nonsence you bear by joining the right subreddit. Actual_detrans can work good for you🤠

Reddit user Ioxenya (desisted female) comments on the importance of being a "mother figure" regardless of transition status.
9 pointsAug 20, 2022
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Oh my, i didn't expect you to flush this whole delightful conversation down the drain by using the ONLY argument, which makes you instantly lose and which is actually the only exception that substantiates the rule!

I even feel so sorry for you right now, it makes me want to end the conversation, and i usually dont do it, until people literally have nothing to say.

You will be good mother figure, and i believe your children will call you mother. Don' t see any problem with that)

Reddit user Ioxenya (desisted female) explains why they oppose allowing trans users to participate, arguing it would be seen as a weakness and lead to the sub being flooded with trans propaganda.
4 pointsAug 3, 2022
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Nah, they will just see this gesture as weakness and would bite your hand if they would see such opportunity. This place is so good because we have real experienses of detrans people, uncensored by trans co. I'd prefer it to stay this way, considering existence of one related sub already flooded by trans propaganda.

Reddit user Ioxenya (desisted female) argues against a "retrans" flair, stating that r/actual_detrans is an echo chamber that silences detrans people and that retransitioners are "ACTUAL trans" who don't belong on a detrans sub.
3 pointsAug 3, 2022
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The problem is, they dont want to learn in general. That sub at the end of your comment isn't an echo chamber for trans people. They dont think so. They created a place, where they can be whatever kind of bigots to people, that are not trans, pointing detrans people as problematic to the trans movement and silensing them. So why shouldnt detrans have such a place? Because we have to be better than them? But we can currently see what happens, when that is done (actual_detrans). I think, that having 'questioning own gender transition' flair is enough for this sub. It exists for people, who can relate to detrans issue. But retrans people are ACTUAL trans, who got past detransition mentally and physically. I dont think they should have a flair on this sub.