This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The comments display a consistent, personal narrative of desisting, emotional nuance, and a timeline of evolving thoughts and actions that are complex and human-like. The user's passion and skepticism are consistent with the experiences of genuine desisters.
About me
I'm an autistic girl who started questioning my gender because I never fit in with the other girls. I identified as nonbinary for a while and changed my name, which felt like a relief at first. I eventually realized my discomfort wasn't with being female, but was really about my autism and feeling socially isolated. Accepting myself as a girl has been incredibly freeing, and I'm now working with a therapist to understand it all. I've come to a place of peace with who I am, and I just wear whatever clothes feel comfortable to me now.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started from a place of just not fitting in. I’m an autistic girl, and growing up, I always felt excluded from the other girls in my class. The girls who weren't questioning their gender seemed to be neurotypical, and I just couldn't relate to them. I think that feeling of being an outsider to my own gender was a big part of what started everything.
I began to think I might be trans. For a while, I identified as nonbinary or genderfluid. It felt like a solution to that discomfort I felt about being a girl. I even changed my name at school to a more gender-neutral one and used different pronouns. There was a real sense of relief at first; it felt like I had found a place where I belonged. I remember feeling a kind of enjoyment from being seen as not-female, and I really disliked my birth name.
But even when I was deep in that identity, something felt off. I distanced myself from a lot of the mainstream trans communities online because I saw behavior that bothered me, like people getting really aggressive about being misgendered when they didn’t make any effort to pass. It made me skeptical.
The turning point for me was starting to desist. I realized that a lot of my feelings were tied to my autism and the social difficulties that came with it. Accepting that I am, and always will be, a girl was incredibly freeing. It was a difficult truth to face because thinking I was trans had given me a sense of comfort and safety, but letting it go made my life feel lighter. I’m a girl, and I’m glad to be one. I contacted my school to change my name and gender back to female. I’m even planning to change my name back to the original female name my mom gave me, though she’s been a bit weird about it, almost like she’s mad that I want to go back to it. She was more comfortable with me being "nonbinary."
This whole experience has made me very skeptical about transition in general. I don't have any ill will toward trans people, but having been so convinced I was trans myself, I now doubt that many people who identify that way truly are. I’ve stepped away from politics entirely because I realize my personality—being a bit of a loner, prone to daydreaming and magical thinking—makes me easy to manipulate. I’ve been looking into radical feminism recently, which seems to make more sense to me now.
I only had a social transition; I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I’m working with a therapist who is empathetic and wants to help me explore the underlying issues, like finding my identity and processing this whole experience. I don’t regret exploring my gender because it led me to a place of self-acceptance, but I definitely regret not understanding sooner that my discomfort was related to autism and social exclusion, not my gender. My style has evened out now. I went through phases of strictly wearing masculine clothes, then strictly feminine clothes like dresses, and now I just wear a mix of whatever I feel comfortable in.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
Age | Event |
---|---|
Teen Years | Felt excluded from other girls due to autism. Started to experience discomfort with my gender and female puberty. |
17 | Began identifying as nonbinary/genderfluid. Socially transitioned by changing my name and pronouns at school. |
18 | Started to desist. Realized my gender discomfort was linked to autism and social isolation. Felt a sense of freedom accepting I am female. |
18 | Contacted school to change my name and gender back to female. Began dressing more femininely and stopped suppressing my female identity. |
18 | Started therapy to address underlying issues and process the desistance experience. Began exploring radical feminist ideas. |
Top Comments by /u/Iron-N-Steel-N-Metal:
Autistic/adhd girl here. I just started desisting and I’m starting to think that maybe one of the reasons this happens with neuroatypicals is because we often are excluded from our birth gender growing up. The girls in my class that aren’t trans are nt from what I know.
tell them “this is my personal experience and perspective, it has nothing to do with your identify. I think it’s really un-nuanced and immature that you call someone a terf for stating their personal life experience. I don’t and will never support bullying at all, and you shouldn’t be bullying me either.” Stuff like this and intrusive questions/condescention and politics from both sides is why I will only discuss detrans/desisting stuff with detrans and desisted people. It really bothers me how lefties will act like you’re ignorant when you’re the one who’s actually seen the community and the issues.
She doesn’t want me to medically transition per se, just use they/them and be “nonbinary” sorta. I think I will give it time but yea its pretty weird. It seems like some sort of sunk cost fallacy or something coming from sjw moral validation or something.
Thank you for your response. I am a girl and I’m glad to be one. Most of my family isn’t on board with gender ideology but my mom thinks I’m “denying im nonbinary/genderfluid and trying to fit in as a girl all of a sudden”. I told a “trans” friend I desisted and he’s pretty chill about it. I haven’t told many people I’ve desisted because I’m not close to them to the point where I talk to them and stuff but have started dressing more fem and not surpressing being female anymore. My name/gender is also being changed back to female albeit I’m going to probably rechange my name back to my original female name. I don’t know why but my mom seemed kinda mad I wanted to change my name back officially to the name she gave me. I’m fine being called my gender neutral chosen name tho. The therapist is empathetic to my experience and is looking forward to working with a desister. He did want to look more into my underlying issues/finding my identity as well as processing the more existential desisting experience.
I think it has made me more skeptical about trans people/transitioning and many aspects about current mainstream culture. I still respect trans people but I doubt that many of them are trans because I really thought I was trans at one point. I don’t really associate with politics because loner magical thinking daydreamy and passive types like myself get manipulated easily. In the past I was libertarian, then leftist because I got sucked into those ideologies, but for a while Ive just stayed away. Recently I’ve been looking more into radical feminism though.
Those people sound really ignorant and toxic. If people aren’t open to listening and having empathy you should avoid them and find people who aren’t toxic and condescending. I would say try and find a better circle as these people clearly don’t respect you or have any empathy and understanding for you.
Absolutely this! When I thought I was actually trans I distanced myself from the mainstream trans communities and was stealth because of this lol. I saw this one dude claiming to be trans recording videos of himself bullying minimum wage employees over “misgendering” when he doesn’t pass lol.
I desisted really recently and I relate to some of your experiences of the enjoyment of being seen as the opposite sex and dislike of given name. Accepting your birth gender and working through your feelings of discomfort around it is very freeing and not having to pretend/stress about being seen as the opposite gender allows life to be much better. Accepting a difficult truth around something that you feel has brought you comfort/safety is hard, but the truth will set you free. ☀️✨
Thank you so much! I just contacted my school about name/gender change, which I am changing back to my original gender and the gender neutral version of my chosen name. It’s going to be a long road but I already feel like light has come into my life. It feels much lighter and freeing already :) ☀️💕
Relatable. I didn’t wear them for a while and would strictly wear skirts/dresses for a while but now i cringe at some of the fem clothes i got. I got rid of a few of my “male” clothes as part of a ritual and it helped, but now I mostly wear a combination of the two.