This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's story is highly detailed, emotionally complex, and internally consistent over a long period. They describe a messy, non-linear personal journey with specific medical, psychological, and social details (e.g., multiple transitions/detransitions, bipolar/BPD/autism diagnoses, voice fragility, specific experiences with hormones and surgery considerations). The tone varies appropriately between anger, regret, support for others, and introspection, which aligns with the passionate and often painful experiences of real detransitioners.
About me
I started transitioning at 19, believing becoming a man was my only escape from the pain of being female. My severe mental health issues were ignored, and I was quickly put on testosterone, which I started and stopped three separate times. I now see my undiagnosed autism made me feel out of place, not that I was truly trans. I finally quit for good, and my mental clarity has returned while my body has softened back into its natural curves. I am a female learning to love the body I was born with, though I live with some permanent changes.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was a long, painful mess that I wish I had never started. I was born female and from a young age, I hated everything about being a woman. I hated my periods, the social expectations, being sexualized, and people assuming my interests were just to get male approval. It all made me feel sick and I desperately wanted to escape it. I thought becoming a man was the only way out.
I started transitioning when I was 19. I was diagnosed with severe bipolar 1 and BPD, but no one took those issues seriously. Instead, after a single thought about being trans, I was launched onto testosterone. I was on a high dose of T, and I actually transitioned and detransitioned three separate times. I’d be on T for six months, then off for six months. I know that sounds insane, but I think doing that actually saved my singing voice in the long run because I did a lot of voice training in between.
I was able to pass as male almost immediately, but that didn’t make things better. When I didn’t pass, I was treated even worse than before. Being trans brought out some deep-seated misogyny in me that I didn't even know I had. I also think being autistic played a huge role in all of this. I was never diagnosed until later, and I often wonder if I had been, I might have understood that it was my autism making me feel so out of place, not that I was inherently trans. But then again, I was so gullible and naive I might have just used the diagnosis as another reason to transition.
My self-esteem was hopelessly in the gutter. I have an autoimmune disease that’s destroying my body and I’m not getting proper care for it, which has had a terrible effect on my mental health. I think I hyper-focused on transitioning because it was the one thing I felt I had control over.
I finally quit testosterone cold turkey. I didn't want another drop of it in my system. Coming off of it was hard, but I’ve found a lot of positives. My mental clarity is so much better; I’m not horny all the time or filled with rage. I feel a fuller range of emotions now. My face softened up and my body fat rearranged into more feminine curves, which I’ve started to like as a sign I’m returning to my true nature. I have less acne and softer skin. I feel more beautiful with estrogen.
There are some permanent changes from testosterone that I’ve had to learn to accept. My clit is bigger. I don’t necessarily like how it looks, but sexually, it’s amazing. Sex has never felt better since coming off T. It gets stimulated easily and the sensation is incredible. I’m convinced this is how clits are supposed to be. I found a subreddit for cis women who want this kind of growth, and it really changed my perspective.
I still use my chosen masculine name because I hate my birth name. I think I’m going to legally change it on a whim. It’s just comfortable for me now.
I have so many regrets about transitioning. It was a horrible decision born from mental illness, trauma, and a desperate desire to escape the discomfort of being a woman. I regret what I’ve done to my body and I live with the consequences every day. I’m almost glad I went through it so I can see through all the bullshit now. If I ever have children, they will never be allowed to medically transition. I’ll be fully supportive if they're gay or gender nonconforming, but medical transition? Absolutely not. They will be taught to love and respect the bodies they were born with. That is, if I haven’t made myself infertile.
My thoughts on gender now are simple: gender dysphoria doesn’t make you the opposite sex. You can have dysphoria about a lot of things, but that doesn’t change what you are. I am a female human. Learning to love and respect the body and soul you’re born with is the only way to escape the prison of dysphoria.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Started testosterone for the first time. |
| 19 | First time stopping testosterone after 6 months. |
| 20 | Second time starting testosterone. |
| 20 | Second time stopping testosterone after 6 months. |
| 21 | Third and final time starting testosterone. |
| 21 | Quit testosterone cold turkey for the final time. Began detransition. |
| 25 | Commenting about being 25 and having grown out of my dysphoria. |
Top Comments by /u/ItsBigBingusTime:
My future kids will never be allowed to transition. Gay? Fully supportive. Gender nonconforming? Fully supportive. Medical transition? Absolutely the fuck not. They will be taught to love and respect their bodies. I’m almost glad that I transitioned so that I can see through all this bullshit and they won’t have to feel the regret that I do.
That is if I haven’t castrated myself.
If you’re on the fence, 100% DO NOT TRANSITION. Fuck, even if you think you’re completely sure. Most of us here were at one point. It is not worth the risk. The experience during is harrowing. The regret after is life changing. Soul crushing.
I’m healing now and continuing on, but living with the consequences of my delusions is very hard. I encourage you to seek mental health help instead.
Grown adults, like myself, have mental illness that can cloud judgement too. I have severe bipolar 1 and BPD and couldn’t get a single person to take those issues seriously until 24 but I get launched into hormones after a single thought about it at 19. I truly don’t get it.
A female human. Any other brain busters?
We can have dysphoria for a lot of things, not just gender. But gender dysphoria doesn’t make you the opposite sex, just as hair dysphoria doesn’t make you magically grow back your hair or change it to a different color. Sure, you can take hormones or minoxidil or dye your hair, but you’re still gonna be the same person underneath it all.
Good for you for getting out of that mindset. My BIL is in this same boat and I don’t think he’ll ever get off it. He’s utterly useless. He’s internalized that he’s disabled even tho there’s literally nothing wrong with him. He lives with his parents and sucks them dry. They coddle him. They don’t make him get a job, they make his two toddler meals a day (French toast, cut up into bite sized pieces ofc, and usually frozen chicken nuggets for dinner). He’s 22 but you would think he’s 5 based on his level of functioning. If they hadn’t let him transition at 13 he’d be a totally different person. You’d think I’d show more empathy to his balding ass since I transitioned myself but he’s just so infuriatingly pathetic. The whole time I was trans, I at least made myself useful and had the drive enough to get a job. He is a parasite on this family and will never contribute to anything sadly.
Hey. I know I’m not the demographic you are reaching out to, I never had top surgery, but when I was your age I wanted it so badly. I even had a consultation with a plastic surgeon lined up that I ultimately decided not to attend. I’m 25 now and as the years have passed, I’ve grown out of my dysphoria. I’ve found a man who stuck with me throughout my transition and detransition. He makes me feel loved and safe, no matter what I look like. And I’m not a sexualized object to him. I’m not saying you need a partner to overcome dysphoria. Not at all. Just simply that it made me realize that if someone else could love me in such a pure way, then why don’t I love myself this way? Learning to love and respect the body and soul you’re born with is the only way to escape the prison that is dysphoria. You are not hopeless. In fact, I think you’re on the right tract. Self acceptance is a long journey. Don’t give up.
It does feel like that for a long time. But I promise it gets better. I find it helps to look at the positives of estrogen as well as the negatives to balance out your feelings on it. While it might feel icky at the moment, I really enjoy the mental clarity of not being horny all the time. I also enjoy not feeling rage as often. I used to be so angry on T, but now I’m able to feel a fuller range of emotions. Now that my body fat has fully rearranged itself, I’ve started to like my feminine curves as a sign I’m returning to my true nature. I like having less acne and softer skin. I feel more beautiful with estrogen. And while I don’t like periods and the gross feeling that comes with them, I enjoy having an excuse to really take the time for self care. Like no, I don’t need to do those dishes right now. I’m cramping and what I really need is a heat pack, blanket, YouTube, and something sweet. I think estrogen can teach you to be gentle with yourself.
I don’t necessarily like how big it is aesthetically, but since coming off T sex has never felt better. I do like it now that I don’t get giant boners. And my partner can stimulate it really easily. It gets rubbed while we are having sex and MY GOD it’s beautiful. I’m convinced this is how clits are supposed to be because you’re just missing out having orgasmless sex without the growth. The sub r/growyourclit really changed my perspective on this. It’s all cis women who desire what we have!
No honestly I appreciate the bluntness. I do think you are right on all accounts. My self esteem is hopelessly in the gutter. Don’t worry about me getting surgery. Just as I can’t afford therapy, I’d never have the money to change my body. It’s just a dumb pipe dream.
I have an autoimmune disease that’s destroying my body. I’m not getting care and it’s had a really bad effect on my mental health. I think I’m hyper focusing on this one issue because I feel so guilty I did it to myself. It was the one thing I had control over. I thought maybe if I could get rid of it I could leave it in the past.
I realize how dumb and crazy all this sounds. But I think you understand I’m not in a good place. I have no support system. I only stay with this partner bc it gives me a place to live. He’s abusive and makes me feel worse about myself. I truly just feel hopeless.
Thanks for caring enough to listen.
Eh who cares? The only people who truly get worked up about this are the people who are still fully delusional in their transition. Which is such a teeny part of the population. Literally no one else cares or has any stake in this conversation. Just return to reality and go about your peace. It’s not our problem if they get mad. They only are because their life sucks and they did it to themselves.