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Reddit user /u/JackJoynson77's Detransition Story

male
took hormones
regrets transitioning
trauma
depression
influenced online
influenced by friends
benefited from non-affirming therapy
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.

The user's narrative is highly personal, emotionally varied, and spans years, detailing a specific journey from considering transition to detransitioning and finding healing. The language is nuanced, contains personal anecdotes with specific details (e.g., the play "Kinky Boots"), and expresses complex, sometimes self-contradictory feelings, which is consistent with a genuine human experience. The passion and criticism align with the expected perspective of a detransitioner.

About me

I was a deeply depressed young man who saw transitioning as an escape from my trauma and pain. I started hormones, pushed by my community, but soon realized I was just running from my problems instead of facing them. I stopped everything, cut all those toxic ties, and got into proper therapy to heal. Now I find peace in Buddhism, my motorbike, and my garden, learning to be happy as myself. While it was a painful detour, choosing to fight for the real me was the best decision I ever made.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition started from a place of deep pain. I was a very depressed young man, and I had been through a lot of trauma. I was violently beaten by a teacher and another one at college tried to rape me. I was bullied for my face which had scars. It got so bad that I tried to end my own life. I felt completely hopeless and like there was no way out.

During this awful time, the idea of transitioning felt like a lifeline. It seemed like an escape from being me, from the person who had suffered all that pain. I thought if I could just become someone else, a woman, then maybe I could leave all that behind. I also had a trans girlfriend at the time, and she and others in the community were pushing me towards it, making it seem like the only solution. I started HRT, thinking it was the answer.

But after a few months, something shifted. I began to understand that this was just a psychological escape. I was running from my problems instead of facing them. I realized that even though I sometimes still wish I had been born female, pursuing a "fake womanhood" wasn't going to solve my deep depression. I stopped the hormones. I decided it was time to fight for myself, the real me.

I completely cut ties with the trans community. It felt toxic and like a cult; I was even banned from a group for talking about surgery from my perspective as a nurse, just because I wasn't post-op. I donated all my female clothes to charity and burned my bridges. It was like waking up from a blurry, strange dream and asking myself, "Why can't I just be happy as I am? Is this really what I want?"

What truly helped me was proper therapy to deal with my depression and trauma. I also found healing in Buddhism, which taught me that suffering is temporary and that I should focus on finding happiness in small, real things. I learned to cook, started a little vegetable garden, and took trips on my motorbike. I focused on living my life instead of running from it.

Looking back, I believe my desire to transition was rooted in unhandled depression and a desperate wish for acceptance. I don't think I was ever truly trans. I think there might be a very small number of people who are, but for me and many others, it was a way to cope with mental illness that ultimately wasn't healthy.

I do have some regrets about the whole process. It was a painful and confusing detour in my life. The experience left me with some scars, like how uneasy it feels now to even put on female clothes for a play. But I don't regret detransitioning. Getting off that path and learning to fight for my own happiness was the best decision I ever made.

Age Event
Young adult Experienced severe depression, trauma from teacher abuse and attempted rape, and bullying. Attempted suicide.
Young adult Began identifying as trans and started HRT, influenced by depression and a toxic trans community.
Young adult Stopped HRT after a few months. Realized it was an escapist solution, not a true identity.
Young adult Cut all ties with the trans community, donated all female clothing, and began proper therapy.
Adult Found healing through Buddhism, hobbies (cooking, gardening, motorbiking), and focusing on real happiness.

Top Comments by /u/JackJoynson77:

10 comments • Posting since August 12, 2022
Reddit user JackJoynson77 (detrans) explains how they were banned from a subreddit for commenting positively on trans surgery despite being a trained nurse, calling the community a cult.
53 pointsDec 15, 2022
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Yes, it's turning into a cult. Just to say, once I replied to a post concerning trans surgery. Mind that, my post was positive, and I'm a nurse trained on surgery assistance, so I know "a little" about stitches and stuff. We'll, I've been banned as not being a post-op trans I've no right to talk about medical stuff. Ok, keep your cult!

Reddit user JackJoynson77 (detrans) discusses the high cost of transition, comparing it to a "sunk cost fallacy" and warning of surgeons who treat patients as "wallets to empty," citing dangerous clinics in Mexico and Bangkok.
33 pointsSep 27, 2022
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First of all, I feel so sad to hear your story, but the only thing that now you should focus is to look for the happiness you deserve. Perhaps a good therapist could help you to set foot on the right path. Said this, the more and more I read detrans posts, the more I'm convinced of what you say. On an hand, convincing people to transition will tale more people in the trans-crowd giving heavier presence in the society, but at the cost of many ruined lives. Secondary, you're right, for many surgeons people are just wallets to empty, in the other hand, they can't avoid to perform what a adult is asking. ...just to give an example, I was horrified by the "castration clinic" in mexico, or the bangkok doctor that operate in s sort of garage without full anesthesy. Just cut snd fetch the cash.

Reddit user JackJoynson77 (detrans) comments on a viral post about a teacher, sharing their own traumatic experiences with abusive educators, including physical assault, an attempted rape, and bullying that led to a suicide attempt.
25 pointsDec 23, 2022
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As there are few teachers/professors that are kind of heart (it's mythology, I never met one), there are some that can wreck the life if people. I've been beaten by a trachear, another tried to rape me (I've then got problem as I had a knife and pointed it to him in his private room, it was a college with rooms for teachers), another bullied me for my face, which had scars. As result, I tried to suicide.

Reddit user JackJoynson77 (detrans) comments on the artificiality of transition, suggesting a small percentage of people are truly trans while many others are misdiagnosed due to poorly-coped depression or illness.
19 pointsFeb 12, 2024
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Generally I agree with you, being detrans myself too. But I still believe that there is still a tiny percentage of the population that are real trans, while most of the others are the result of a badly coped depression/illness. I might sound rude, but it idn't my intention to harm people. I had a badly coped depression with suicidal drive, and at the time the trans comunity felt like the only lifeline I could have, but in the end was another self destructive, identity anhilation, method.

Therapy helped. Thans comunity, didn't.

Reddit user JackJoynson77 (detrans) comments on the permanence of bone structure versus fat distribution, explaining that while bones change very little on testosterone, a detransitioning person's face will become more feminine over time as fat redistributes.
14 pointsMar 1, 2023
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As far as I know, bones change just a little even on T, as they are encoded by genes and not by hormones. Just think that archaelogists often have problems to distinguis a male or female skull. But, what change are the fat distribution and muscle mass, probably, ending T, you'll see that by the time the shape of the face will become more and more feminine.

Reddit user JackJoynson77 (detrans) advises seeking a second opinion from a top-rated doctor after a negative medical experience, sharing a personal story of being humiliated by one doctor before finding a kind and professional solution with another.
12 pointsSep 9, 2022
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Thank you for sharing. Sometimes Doctors that can't deal with people can hurt more than healing. My advice is to search a top rated doctor in your area and have a second opinion. I had a problem with a doctor while asking for a surgery and he humiliated me heavily and took me to depression. Much later I searched for a second opinion to a good rated Docyor and he solved it all kindly and professionally. In Italy we have a sort of "tripadvisor" for Doctors, perhaps there is also where you are.

Reddit user JackJoynson77 (detrans) explains their detransition after trauma, arguing that the only way to counter gender ideology is through viral counter-propaganda.
12 pointsFeb 20, 2023
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In history always been like this, propaganda tries to erase what's againts it. So, it's utopic and time-wasting, to hope that "they" will accept what's against their own propaganda. The only way to prevent that more lives will be ruined by their ideology, is letting the world to know how they are wrong, using appealing strategies, like viral videos, standing beside those who are altready fighting them, etc... I said this as I'm an old detrasitioner, when this word didn't exist yet (nore the woke). I was a boy, depressed, violented by a religious man and I attempted a suicide. After starting hrt, after months, I stopped. Why? I understood that for me was time to fight for myself and a fake womanhood (sometimes I still desire I was born female), was a unconclusive psycological escape from a nearly escapeless situation. I escaped.

Reddit user JackJoynson77 (detrans) explains that for them, gender dysphoria was caused by unhandled depression and a wish for acceptance, which vanished after treating their depression.
8 pointsDec 17, 2022
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I don't want to say that for all is the same, but, as for me, it was an unhandled depression and wish for acceptance. Once I got rid of most of my depression, even the need to transition vanished, along with all those trans people that were pushing me for it (like a ex transgirlfriend)

Reddit user JackJoynson77 (detrans) explains that awful feelings are temporary and advises focusing on small, happy goals like learning to cook, gardening, or taking a trip.
8 pointsAug 12, 2022
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Buddism teaches that everything is temporary, so the feeling awful is bound to end. When I felt like this, at a certain point, I understood that (it's difficult to explain writing), suffering for that was pointless, and I decided to focus on domething that could give me happiness, starting with baby steps. I learnt cooking, I made a micro garden with vegetables, I took my motorbike and left for a trip on my own. So, my advice is to focus less on the feeling bad and search for happy goals. Blessings.

Reddit user JackJoynson77 (detrans) explains how leaving the trans community and donating their belongings led to the painful realization that wearing female clothing, even for a theater role, feels like an open wound.
6 pointsOct 26, 2023
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I was in your same shoes. I also started transition, going first (and luckily shortly) across the lands of crossdressing. Then, all of a sudden I woke up from that strange blurry time asking "why can't I be happy?", "is this what I want?". Then I saw how toxic was the trans environment around me, how bad was for me and from a day to tthe next I burnt all the bridges with the local trans comunity and donated all my stuff to charity. Years passed. In an amateur theatre company I was given the part of a drag queen (Kinky Boots), and I discovered how uneasy is for me get back in female clothes. The worst? Girls saying "you walk in heels better then I do", it still feels like a open wound.