This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The key indicator of authenticity is the detailed, contradictory, and evolving personal narrative. The user describes specific dosages, physical and emotional effects, and changes in their decisions over time (starting E, quitting, restarting T, then restarting E again). This complexity and the expression of internal conflict are not typical of a fabricated persona. The passion and frustration expressed are consistent with the genuine emotional difficulty of this experience.
About me
I never felt like I fit in as a man, so I started taking estrogen in my early twenties and loved how it made me feel emotionally and physically. I stopped because trying to be seen as a woman socially felt like an impossible performance, and I was tired of being treated differently. I tried going back to testosterone to make life easier, but it made me feel angry, numb, and I hated the masculine changes to my body. I realized I need estrogen for my mental health, so I went back on it, even though it complicates my social life. Now I believe people should be free to be feminine men or masculine women without feeling pressured to change their bodies.
My detransition story
Of course. Here is a summary of my experience, based on my own comments.
My whole journey with gender has been confusing and full of back-and-forth. It started because I never felt like I fit into the standard idea of how a man should act or be. I saw other feminine boys and men and felt like, if it was more acceptable for guys to be feminine, I might not have ever thought I needed to transition. I just wanted to be myself without all the pressure.
When I was in my early twenties, I started taking estrogen. I have to be honest, I loved almost everything about it. Mentally, I felt so much better. I wasn't angry all the time, and I felt more grounded. I could finally cry when I needed to, and it felt like a relief. I also loved all the physical changes. It just felt right for me.
But I stopped after a while. The main reason was the social side of things. I realized that to be seen as a woman, I would have to learn how to "girlmode" – act in a way that people read as female. And that seemed like just as much work as pretending to be a stereotypical man. I hadn't practiced it my whole life, so it felt impossible. I saw that I was giving up the privilege of being seen as a man without getting the social acceptance of being seen as a woman. People treated me like a freak instead of just a person. Life is hard enough, and making it three times harder just didn't seem worth it.
So, I went off estrogen and started testosterone again. I wanted to get back to having a strong male body because it's easier to move through the world that way. I started working out and eating a lot to build muscle. But physically, it was tough. My body became hairy again really fast, my face kept looking more masculine, and I started losing my hair. I felt angry and emotionally numb; I couldn't laugh or cry. I just felt empty. Even though being an "estrogenized male" appealed to me, I thought the practical benefits of looking like a man were more important.
That didn't last long. I felt so terrible on testosterone—so empty and angry—that I went back on estrogen after about four or five months. I realized that for my mental health, I need to be on it. I don't want to be a big, hairy, muscular guy. That's just not me.
Looking back, my thoughts on gender are that the rules are too strict. The goal should be to let people be who they are, whether that's a feminine man or a masculine woman, without feeling like they have to change their body to fit in. I don't know if I have regrets. It's complicated. I don't regret the physical and mental feelings I got from estrogen, but I regret the social pressure and confusion that came with it. For now, I'm staying on estrogen because it helps me feel like myself emotionally, even if it makes my social life harder.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early 20s | Started taking estrogen. Loved the mental and physical changes. |
| 24 | Stopped estrogen. Felt social pressure and saw "girlmoding" as too difficult. |
| 24 | Started testosterone again. Wanted to "bulk up" and reap male social benefits. |
| 24 (after 4-5 months) | Stopped testosterone. Felt angry, numb, and hated the rapid masculine physical changes. |
| 24 | Restarted estrogen. Needed the emotional stability and preferred the physical effects. |
Top Comments by /u/JadeCat44:
No because the reason half the ppl here even transitioned to begin with was that they didn't feel they confirmed to gender standards. Because they didn't feel they could just be a femboy/tomboy.
If we allowed feminine boys to wear what they want including dresses and affirmed that it is OK, many wouldn't feel the need to go MTF.
Looser gender norms and more flexible expectations should be the goal, always. Let people be as they are.
I guess I've done this but with E instead. I went off E for 4-5 months but I've recently started taking it again. With testosterone I felt angry and numb to emotions like joy or sadness, and just felt really empty. Physically unable to cry or laugh.
So, for the time being at least, I will stay on estrogen.
Plus I gained back 25lbs of muscle and got all hairy again very quickly with testosterone in my body and that is not how I want to look at all.
A bit over 6 months. I've been back on testosterone as of 10 days ago and taking 50mg raloxifene per day. First week I took 100mg testosterone and now I'm going to be taking 250mg/wk along with 3500 clean calories per day to bulk up. Erectile function is 80% of what it was and continues to improve. Erections are still painful though. Gyno puffiness has reduced slightly.
I loved estrogen tbh but it's not worth making my life 3x as hard. It's difficult enough without that.
Yeah that last paragraph sums up why I quit. I had never 'girlmoded' but I could see that's where I would be headed. Passing as a woman in mannerisms would be almost as much work for me as behaving the way I thought I needed to as a man, and I didn't have 24 years of practice in the former. So I'm just gonna be me.
That said, just being an estrogenized male still appeals to me but it isn't worth it in this world. In this world I'd rather reap the benefits of a having strong male body.
Well as I've been progressing into my mid twenties, I've grown thick black hair all over my body, my hairline started to recede, and my face got more masculine over time as well, probably due to facial muscles growing. People treat me a lot differently compared to when I was a slender hairless 20-year-old.
Yeah I guess I could still have a feminine personality, but even that is hard because the way you look affects how people interact with you everyday.
So if you want to look feminine as a man past a certain age, that in my opinion is not really possible for most
I loved pretty much everything. Mental changes where great, I felt more grounded and no longer angry. I could cry easier which I liked. I also liked every physical change from a-z.
The way it makes my life harder is I give up my male privilege without getting female social status in return. Alot of the same people who generally will go out of their way to help and protect women will just treat me like a freak instead.