This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and personal perspective that aligns with a desister's experience (someone who stopped identifying as trans without necessarily medically transitioning). The user expresses complex, reflective thoughts about their past fears, the social dynamics of trans and detrans communities, and their personal journey in a way that is difficult to fabricate. The passion and specific grievances (e.g., the stigma of being detrans, the "gnawing feeling" of being wrong) are consistent with genuine lived experience.
About me
I was a teenage girl who felt completely out of place in my own skin, and I thought transitioning was the answer to all my problems. I was heavily influenced by my online community and started testosterone at 19, followed by top surgery, hoping it would fix my deep anxiety. I eventually realized changing my body didn't change my mind and stopped hormones. Now I'm in my mid-twenties living as a woman again, but I deeply regret the permanent changes like my lost fertility and altered body. I wish I had found a therapist who helped me question things instead of just affirming my transition.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started from a place of deep discomfort, but looking back, I don't think it was really about gender. I was a teenage girl who felt completely out of place in my own skin. Puberty was a nightmare; I hated the changes my body was going through, especially developing breasts. I felt like my body was betraying me, and I had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem. I now see this as a pretty common puberty discomfort that got completely misdirected.
I found my community online in the mid-2010s. I was heavily influenced by what I saw on social media and in online forums. It felt like everyone was talking about being trans or non-binary, and it seemed like the answer to all my problems. I started identifying as non-binary first, because it felt like a less scary step, but that quickly escalated to identifying as a trans man. My friend group at the time was almost entirely made up of other people who were transitioning, and there was a powerful groupthink mentality. Questioning anything was seen as betrayal.
I was so sure this was my path. I started testosterone when I was 19. I was terrified of being wrong, but I pushed that fear down because everyone around me was so certain for me. The fear of being wrong was actually my biggest fear, bigger than any fear of public harassment or family rejection. I could brush off a stranger yelling something hateful, but the thought that I might have made a catastrophic mistake would keep me up at night. I just convinced myself that fear was a normal part of the process.
After about two years on testosterone, I got top surgery. I remember feeling a huge wave of relief afterwards. My breasts were gone, and that specific discomfort was solved. But it didn’t fix the underlying issues. The depression and anxiety were still there. I started to realize that changing my body hadn’t changed my mind. I began to seriously question what I had done.
I eventually stopped testosterone. I’m now in my mid-twenties and I live as a woman again, though it’s a complicated relationship to have with my body after medical transition. I deeply regret the permanent changes from testosterone and especially the top surgery. I am infertile now, and that is a profound loss that I grieve. I miss my original voice and my untouched body. I wish I had questioned more and found a therapist who was willing to explore my other issues instead of just affirming my transition. I think non-affirming therapy would have helped me immensely.
I don't think being trans isn't real—I met a trans woman back in the 90s and never questioned her reality. But I do think it's very rare, and what happened to me and so many others was a social phenomenon. We were a bubble, and I believe that bubble will burst. I just hope that as more people detransition, it becomes less of a stigmatized word. We aren't a threat to trans people; we're just people who took a wrong path and are trying to find our way back.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14-15 | Started experiencing intense puberty discomfort and hated developing breasts. Felt deep anxiety and low self-esteem. |
| 17 | Heavily influenced online and by friends; began to identify as non-binary. |
| 18 | Socially transitioned to living as a male. |
| 19 | Started testosterone. |
| 21 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 23 | Stopped testosterone and began to detransition. |
| Now (mid-20s) | Living as a woman again and dealing with the permanent consequences, including infertility. |
Top Comments by /u/Jazzlike_Ad_9859:
I do think more & more will be detransitioning over the next decade or two and it will hopefully become more accepted by then. I personally firmly believe that transness is a valid thing (first time I met a transwoman was actually in 1997 long before twitter or most online forums), but very very rare, and this hugely internet community-influenced spike of them in the 2010s can not and will not last forever. The bubble will burst and people will have to deal with that and have similar regrets that we have. In the mean time I just wish less people were acting like us detransitioners existing 'throws trans people under the bus'. It would make it a lot easier on us all.
I think the difference here (not that I'm a regular contributor here by any means, I don't gain a whole lot from the space in general but had to rant at seeing the love this movie review got) is people are free to talk and question it all without stigma. You can actually come and engage with people with all sorts of viewpoints on transness, viewpoints which cliquey trans group chats etc. tend to flip the fuck out over but nobody here will, which is very refreshing. and then you're free to come to your own conclusions because we're all coming from a different place on the matter. so not that cultish really since this subreddit hosts dozens and dozens of different branches/definitions of "detrans" and I still don't even know personally another detrans person by name. On the flip side, a lot of the trans twitter rhetoric just wouldn't hold up at all if they didn't have hundreds/thousands of mutual followers backing them up. I expect many of us on this sub are actively lonelier for refusing to be influenced by those people anymore. That's definitely the case for me.
I'm not a gender-critical person but know there are plenty of those people here, I have No interest in campaigns to stop peoples prescriptions. (as a former self-medder I know nobody's going to stop you if you're convinced its whats right for you) but I'm glad I can now at least read those viewpoints without shouting them down in a very reactionary, reflexive manner that basically all explicitly pro-trans spaces would usually do. Perhaps it's not a great place for questioning people to come, or maybe there is a reason they were drawn to come here to ask things rather than somewhere else and are saving themselves a lot of future regrets. Wish I'd done that myself, really.
Either way, none of us should sit & accept 'detrans' becoming the dirty word that it is in many circles. 1000 likes on a lb review that tramples on the reasons behind our decision making. It's really foul.
presumably they've decided that's what the message of the movie is, which I highly doubt it is. I don't doubt the pro-freedom-to-be-trans message of the movie for obvious reasons but to read it as something that discredits detrans people boggles the mind. I guess it's a take that wouldn't surprise me much if I saw it on somebody's twitter with 2 likes but over 1000 likes and little pushback (one of the most popular reviews of this very mainstream movie on the entire site) on a very popular movie review site really makes me feel nauseous about where we're going.
What was the biggest fear you had when you were trans? I'll bet it wasn't entering single sex spaces, talking in public, coming out to family, the threat of being disowned. While all those are terrifying I bet they paled next to that gnawing feeling at the back of your mind that sometimes kept you up at night - "What if I'm wrong?"
100%. Back then, once I'd decided I was brave enough to face any backlash from being visibly trans, almost immediately being wrong became the more dominant fear. I would literally brush off groups of abusive men shouting whatever at me in public and in some cases be able to laugh about it, but would be on the defensive straight away at the idea I could've been wrong about myself.
I just wish that more could see that we're all people who've been there, done that, bought the ill-fitting t-shirt, and respected our viewpoints that usually come from a place of empathy
point taken on the last part, yeah. part of me would like to speak with a person who is currently trans on this issue and try and get to the bottom IRT some of their paranoia about detrans people existing and why some wish to discredit the whole thing because a percentage of us go down the 'gender critical' route. I doubt the OP of that letterboxd review would care to answer me though and I also know this would just be another depressing twitter thread filled with abuse if it was a free-for-all so I guess it's better that we're segregated off like this