This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user demonstrates nuanced, personal storytelling about a specific and distressing experience of being forced into a social transition by others, which is a credible detransitioner narrative. The writing style is emotionally charged, self-reflective, and inconsistent—shifting from analytical to distressed—which is consistent with a genuine person grappling with a traumatic experience. The expressed fear of being misunderstood and the request not to be reported as in danger further indicate a real human vulnerability.
About me
My journey started because I was struggling with sexism and the expectations placed on me as a female, and people around me took control and decided I was trans before I had even figured it out for myself. I felt completely powerless as others debated and outed me with labels I never chose, which felt like a new form of condescending sexism. The whole experience caused me terrible anxiety because it was a transition that was forced on me socially, and I felt completely trapped and isolated. I’ve realized my discomfort was never with being female, but with the sexist box society tries to put women in. Now, I’m living again as the woman I am, and my real detransition has been about finally reclaiming my own voice and autonomy.
My detransition story
My whole experience with this wasn't like a lot of the stories I read. It wasn't really something I chose for myself from the start. It began because I was really struggling with the sexism I faced as a female. I hated the expectations and the way people treated me. I started questioning things, and I think people around me, including some friends, picked up on that. But instead of listening to me, they took control.
People started deciding for me what I was. They would out me to others as being trans, but they couldn't even agree on what that meant. Some said I was a trans man, others said I was non-binary. It was like my own identity was a topic of gossip, and I had no say in it. I never actually identified as a man, so when people made those "in-jokes" or acted overly impressed with me doing simple things, it felt condescending and hurtful. It was just another form of sexism, like they were surprised a "woman-lite" could open a jar. I hated it. It felt like a complete loss of control over my own life and body, which was the opposite of what I wanted.
This whole situation caused me so much anxiety. I’d panic when people misunderstood me, because it felt like the same thing happening all over again. I felt trapped because the "transition" was something that was done to me socially by other people. How do you detransition from something you never really chose in the first place? I felt like no one would listen if I tried to say it was wrong, because they hadn't listened to me in the first place. It was incredibly isolating. I didn't have anyone to talk to who understood how disturbing it is to have your identity decided by a committee.
Looking back, my thoughts on gender are that it's become too focused on stereotypes. I have a square jaw because of my ethnicity, and people online sometimes call that masculine, but it's just my face. I think a lot of these new gender norms are just recycled sexist ideas. For me, my discomfort was never really about being in the wrong body. It was about hating the box society put me in as a female. I didn't have body dysmorphia or hate my breasts; I hated the comments and the assumptions.
I don't regret exploring my feelings, but I deeply regret that other people took over and made it their project. I regret that I wasn't able to speak up louder or that I wasn't heard. The whole experience made me realise that the most important thing is having autonomy. No one else can tell you who you are.
Here is a timeline of what happened based on my memories. I don't have exact ages for everything, as it was a blurry period.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teenager | Started experiencing strong discomfort with sexist treatment and expectations during puberty. |
| Around 19-20 | Began questioning my gender identity due to this discomfort. People around me noticed and started labelling me as trans without my clear consent. |
| Early 20s | Socially "transitioned" as dictated by others (as non-binary/trans man). Felt a complete loss of control as people outed me and discussed my identity publicly. |
| Early 20s | Experienced intense anxiety and feelings of isolation due to the situation and not being heard. |
| Now (Mid-20s) | Realised the social transition was a mistake forced upon me. I am living as female again, but the process was more about reclaiming the control that was taken from me. |
Top Comments by /u/JellyPupsInCocoCups:
She is describing intrusive thoughts. Like people who have intrusive thoughts about being secretly gay despite knowing they aren't. Or about doing things they would rather not be doing (like violence, dangerous things, eating things that are moldy, etc.) or that they find negative. It's not usually related to it being appealing and it's not about actually wanting to do these things. Generally people find them scary among other things.
OP, how do you usually deal with intrusive thoughts in general? Do you have a therapist or support network?
I don't know how similar our experiences are (because essentially I was questioning myself due to sexism I had experienced, and other people decided that I must be trans in a specific way and to make it public, it got out of my control, I have not met other people to whom it happened that way and I feel like people do not understand how disturbing it is) but I also feel isolated. All through this entire situation I actually had no one that I could talk to about this subject. I would be happy to have someone to discuss these things with and we would both be respectful.
Tbh I must specify that I didn't really have a say in the specifics of my social transition. People basically outed me as things to each other, sometimes not even agreeing with each other, and not listening to me and that coloured most of my experiences. It was a freaky loss of control when I had wanted to have more control over my life.
Oh, I hated it. It felt condescending and invasive, plus even when it came from trans people they didn't even care to at least wait to actually know (hear it from my mouth, don't assume, infer or believe anyone else about it if that's the kind of respect you, yourself, expect from others) what I identified with and tried to validate whatever they had assumed. It felt controlling and exactly like sexist comments did. Plus some were just comments about, well, my body or appearance that were downright freaky to do, like who the fuck comments on people's leg hair, seriously?
Also regarding physical abilities, acting overly impressed or like the person was really trying at something normal and simple (like opening a jar for someone else) and you're surprised because it should be difficult for them because of their assigned gender... Well, I don't know how to explain why it feels condescending. I hated this kind of attitudes as a child (being shocked or exaggeratedly fake impressed because I am able to do stuff) and I obviously still did later on. Yes, I can physically do stuff, no I'm not even trying to prove it to you but it's insulting that you'd think something ridiculously easy is to be verbally noted.
Also I don't think I ever identified as a man actually, so a lot of the pseudo-conniving jokes trans people made to me about being a trans man felt hurtful, disrespectful and like misgendering. Some were also just sexism.
I don't understand why Americans think chiselled faces or jawlines don't look feminine. If you're thin it's normal to see your jawline. Then whether or not it's square or squarish is up to your biological family's genes. When I go online some people mention lots of (from my pov) new weird gender norms that aren't actually new but just US-specific and I think some of them are related to Americans being more overweight and sedentary in general. (For example, once I read people claiming a random thin woman must be on steroids because she had muscle definition.) Having a jawline or even visible cheekbones is normal and not some rare male Chad gymbro business.
Also, if you crop picture 2 to a frame, it will look like an album cover.
I feel like I couldn't even detransition because other people were the ones who were saying I was trans and acting on it. Nobody would listen to me if I wanted to detransition. I apologise for the walls of text it's just I somehow got my hopes up someone had lived something similar and then there was a misunderstanding. I don't know how to explain, I was doing OK just before but then upon reading it feels like I have no control over things. I'll be OK though (please don't report me as in danger to reddit)
I hope my other messages won't read as aggressive, it's just that I am panicking because it has been going on for years and I just can't even seem to get people to understand and when people misunderstand it feels even more like a lack of control or failure. And now I'm also paranoid about being misread as aggressive based on mutual misunderstanding or someone telling me I'm trans again. I am going to take a breather.
I am unable to tell if it is a joke or not.
I'm just going to add that ethnicity isn't race and that I myself have facial features (like a square jaw) due to my ethnicity that are gendered (in this case, associated with masculinity) by people, but really are just a common trait for people with a similar ancestry. Some features being more common in certain ethnic groups doesn't mean any is superior.