You are a mtf post-op. Be what you are and be the best of what you are. Stop wishing you could be a real girl because God or anybody else will never grant that wish. Stop wasting time and make the best of your life as the best mtf you can be or detransition and life your life as the best male you can be. Having a bf is not all there is to life. Having genitals is not all there is to life. Get a hobby besides your transsexuality. Are you educated with a big money job? If not, think about going back to school. You need to throw your life into something besides transsexuality.

One can transition and detransition all they want, but for the person who knows their soul has no gender, and only the body is gendered you may be fortunate enough to embrace this, otherwise the human condition will continue a lifetime of misery of gender dysphoria. I'm not dysphoric. I know I am both in one body and there is no escape and we learn to love that we were taught to hate. Live life day to day and moment to moment. You will know the lesser of two evils and find a place of peace.

Hello Hope! Believe me, as someone who detransitioned 15 years ago, your attitude towards self got you into this situation and all those same attitudes mixed with doubt and fear are going to be there with you until you've had time to truly understand why you did that you did. It's only been two years and the physical changes come a lot quicker than mental changes for some of us. There is a state of mind you had before transition that is going to haunt you into detransition. I hope you would agree that you were to an extent into the trans lifestyle before you ever started the physical transition? I mean, like perhaps you didn't care for dressing feminine, the whole package, clothing, hair, makeup, jewelry, and perhaps you altered your body language and gestures to be more masculine, and your voice you probably dropped it a bit so you didn't talk as high pitched and feminine as you might naturally? You get used to these things, they really do become part of you. In my 15 years since detransition I've learned we must learn to love and forgive ourselves. There are so many outside forces that are blaming that want to forever label us someone who made a mistake. The pro-transition activists are always going to be there locked and loaded with a tattoo gun go they can dog pile on top of you, hold you down and tattoo in big bold letters across your forehead, "MUTILATED FREAK TRANNY REGRETTER". Believe me, in your heart that woman that you want to be will come to fruition. She is going to have her own personal battle scars like every human does, yours will just be a bit different than others. You don't know it, but despite the reports there are a lot of lovely men out there that see all of you and what you've been through as very heartful and deep, seeing you as a very advanced female with greater knowledge than most of your sex. If your voice is the the biggest thing bothering you then that is going to take a bit of conscious work. Remember that attitude I spoke off pre and post transition? I don't want to speak for you, but I'm pretty sure you didn't go around talking in a very high pitched sing-song voice like most girlie girls do. You got used to speaking in a lower range and then hormones helped lower you voice a bit. What works one way also works another way, but you must be willing to put in the hard work, perhaps even investing as many years post detransition as you did pre transition. Will you ever become a girlie girl? Perhaps not? There are plenty of heterosexual females who are not girlie girls and they speak with lower range voices. Just don't beat yourself up while you are awakening to NOT THE WOMAN YOU THINK YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE, but allow yourself to become the woman that blossoms on the vine as you find out what being a woman is to you. Believe me, fixing all the physical stuff is quick and easy. The mental stuff takes a bit longer. Yes, there is the "fake it till you make it" attitude and what that means to me is that you don't allow yourself to become emotionally despondent while these slower than you may want adjustments are taking place. Know that there are people like me and others here that will let you know that they love you for the perfect person you are right now. They are going to love you as you grow and change. Be forgiving of yourself, take the heat off yourself a bit. It's beautiful and perfect that you have goals that include a husband and children, a loving family. Also allow yourself the grace to change your mind or adjust your goals along the way. It's just too much pressure to be anxious right now about a goal that is going to take some time. You have an altered voice that is nowhere near that of natal male. You have a masculinized female voice. It's going to improve over time with conscious effort just like someone who trains their voice to sing professionally. Allow yourself the grace to know you are wanting your voice to go perhaps where it has never been due to how you desired to be heard pre and post transition. The voice you practice may feel totally fake and awkward at first, but put that out of mind. You are retaining your voice and in time it will become your voice naturally. Retraining vocal chords can put a lot of strain on them, but little by little you will become the you that you will feel comfortable with. I'm already married, but let me tell you, there are plenty of men out there like me that you will bring out there inner knight in shining armour. Being only 20 I assume you are in school. If you are not, the parent in me will plead that you return to school and get the education you need for a career you will love and make lots of money at because it's going to take a lot of money to support those kids all the way through their college years and beyond and then your own old age so you aren't suffering when you can no longer work to bring in income. It's very late where I am and I'm rambling. I will go to bed now. Lots of love and care on your journey.

Children who are seen in media declaring their transsexuality are actors. They have rehearsed their lines for the cameras so many times and I've seen so many of them who do not make convincing performances. It's like their transsexuality was make believe from early on, but as the magic of sandbox started to fade doubts about their fairy transition also began to creep in, but they are so afraid and fearful because living in their imaginary sex has become their identity. I lived more years as female than I have yet as male so I know what these kids face if they have fears of returning to a sex they no longer have any real memories of as if they were watching a movie from another lifetime. Yeah, when the buyers remorse sets in and these kids start feeling like freaks because they are torn between feeling like real women, but having fake genitals that they must have a conscience about when becoming anyone's sexual partner, it opens a big can of worms. I see the writing on the wall. Doesn't everybody. I see adults saying their were brainwashed as minors and winning the lawsuit lottery.

"As was described by Ms Hanna, her roommate was male-bodied with facial and chest hair."

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The big take away from this article is whether society is going to accept a "male-bodied" persons "with facial and chest hair" as a trans women. A question being asked is, do the breasts make the trans woman? Does the presence or absence of a vagina make the woman? The big question here is, that the transition from assigned birth sex to identified sex in the mind is the definition of "transitioned" that should be viewed as the legal definition?

So, if that person can be considered a transgender woman then who is to say someone who rails against physical transition yet finds moments of time during their day, week, or month to wear female clothing is not transitioned? What if that person is trying to convince others that physical transition is not required to be considered a "trans woman". They are promoting that if you have "transitioned" in your mind then that is what matters more than anything else because like people say about natal women, "Breasts don't make the woman."

There is someone in the r/detrans group that is actively promoting this agenda to other group members. They believe in the valid status of this "transition of the mind" that the militant transgenders are pushing on society. While saying they are against physical transition they are telling group members to satisfy their desires of physical transition by playing dress-up from time to time. Wouldn't that person be considered subversive and unsuitable to this group per the rules?

Some may be unaware, but there is a very militant group of transgenders who are pushing to full female status without any physical form of transition at all. They are demanding full legal status as female while remaining stone cold men.

Hello there. Like you, I started hrt early and had srs early. Unlike you, I decided to detransition to live naturally as male again. That was 14 years ago and I've never been happier. Whether you ultimately decide to live happily as female or male, either is fine and completely doable. I just ask that you do not allow yourself to become overly emotional. A little emotion goes a long way. BTW, my name is Josef Kirchner and when I began my detransition in 2004 I started a website www.HelpMeReverseMySexchange.org. The opening page will only take about 10 minutes to read and I invite you to email me directly from the email address I have posted near the top of the page. I hope you got room for a new friend who has been where you are and is living happily. I look forward to hearing from you. Josef

Remember, plenty of nontrans women have bilateral mastectomies and opt not to do anything because they are at peace with their chest. Simply wearing a padded bra makes everything feel alright. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Have you gotten any pricing information on the fat replacement augmentation procedure?

Don't think of it as disgusting. That's what these warriors want you to think and feel. They are so full of self hate that they must lash out at others from the little cage they find themselves in. You have to separate yourself from the emotion. I'm not saying become and emotionally cold person, but you need to understand what healthy emotion is and what unhealthy emotion is. I just blow this stuff off like fan fiction lol. I appreciate you being sorry it happened, but don't be. I'm a big boy and this ain't my first time at the rodeo with these clowns lol.

Trying to emulate female singers voices will help to retrain how you speak. I'm a IMTFTM and my original voice was deep, but I retrained it all on my own because it was important for my voice to pass as female. It took me some years to perfect. Lots of self training of the voice. The same I had to do in detransition, had to learn all over again to talk in a normal male voice, not a gay man's voice, but like a straight man's voice. It's a crazy thing now, but I guess it's like someone who does voices for a living. I still have retained my complete female vocal range for singing and talking. It's right up there with my Bert and Ernie voices, Marilyn Monroe, Marvin the Martian, etc., it's very entertaining sometimes lol. Your new and improve female voice will be great. It just takes time and practice. I don't know how tomboy you may have been before transition, but if you never were a very feminine girl with a very feminine voice before transition you have to take that into account as you had a whole different starting place that you don't want to go back to? You may want a voice more feminine that the voice you had before transition, i.e. a dyke voice? (hope you don't take offense to the dyke term...just trying to illustrate what kind of female voice you may or may not have had).

Welcome to the group. I just want to make a short positive comment. Whatever you decide to do just go slow. Don't try to rush anything. I'm 15 years detransitioned.

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If your shoulders and back are built up with muscle, yes they were revert back to your former female appearance.

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Josef