This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, detailed experience with medical transition (T, top surgery) and detransition (laser, voice concerns).
- Emotional complexity that includes regret, pain, and a nuanced effort to find positivity, which is consistent with genuine human experience.
- Direct engagement with others' posts, offering specific encouragement and shared struggles.
- Consistent narrative across all comments regarding their timeline and procedures.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort with my body started during puberty, which led me to take testosterone and have top surgery at 18. I later realized my drive to transition was tied to anxiety and a distorted self-image, not my true self. I stopped testosterone at 23 and have been detransitioning for a year and a half. I now accept that I am a woman and am learning to appreciate my body as it is. While I don't regret the person I've become, I wish I had sought therapy for my body issues instead.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and it’s taken me a lot of time to understand my own thoughts. I was born female, and my discomfort really started during puberty. I hated the development of my breasts; they never felt like they belonged on my body. This feeling was a huge part of what pushed me to transition.
I started identifying as male when I was a teenager. I was on testosterone for four years, from the age of 19 until I was 23. When I was 18, I also had top surgery to remove my breasts. At the time, I believed this was the only way to fix the deep unhappiness I felt with my body.
Looking back, I think a lot of my drive to transition was tied to other issues. I struggled with severe anxiety and low self-esteem. I also believe I have body dysmorphia, where my perception of myself was distorted and didn't match reality. Even now, after detransitioning, I sometimes look at myself and see a masculine person, but my friends assure me I look completely like a woman. It’s a constant mental battle.
I began to detransition about a year and a half ago, just after I turned 23. It was a difficult decision, but I realized that living as a man wasn't the solution to my problems. I had to accept that my issues were more about my internal self-image than my actual body. While I don't regret the confidence and life experience I gained from those years, I deeply wish I had never taken testosterone. I am glad, in a way, that I had the top surgery because my breasts caused me so much distress, but I now lament the fact that I try to emulate with breast forms what I naturally used to have.
The effects of testosterone are permanent in some ways. My voice is permanently deeper, and sometimes it causes me a lot of grief, especially as someone who loves to sing. I miss my pre-T voice terribly. I often worry that my voice isn't passable, even though people tell me otherwise. I get laser hair removal on my face, but seeing the black stubble come back is frustrating and makes me anxious that it won't be a permanent solution.
My biggest struggle now is with how I am perceived. I often feel like people are confused by me and default to using "they" pronouns. Some people probably think I'm a trans woman, while others might see me as a cis woman. A lot of it, I’m learning, is in my head. Over the past year and a half, my body has changed back in many ways, becoming less masculine, and I’ve been passing as female more effortlessly.
I’ve come to understand that many cis women also feel out of place in their bodies. Many have deeper voices, more masculine shapes, or facial hair. Feeling like you have to adhere to a perfect standard is, I think, a universal part of the female experience. I am a woman, and my journey has taught me to appreciate that fact more deeply. I don't believe T ruined my life; it made me a more interesting and confident person in some ways. I like my strong arms and my height. It gave me a perspective I wouldn't have had otherwise. But if I could go back, I would have sought therapy to deal with my body issues instead of transitioning.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy) |
| 19 | Started taking testosterone (T) |
| 23 | Stopped taking testosterone and began detransitioning |
| 24 (now) | Currently living as a female, 1.5 years into detransition |
Top Comments by /u/Justaschiz:
Im going through the exact same thing- surgery at 18, just turned 23 last week. Sometimes I do feel bad about my breast forms as well and laments the fact that I used to have the body I try so hard to emulate now.
You’ll get through this though, and there are plenty of cis women that have gone through mastectomies and double mastectomies, or can’t breast feed for other issues, or have other problems and insecurities with their breasts. Stay strong, your body is yours and it’s beautiful. I sympathize with you, we’ll be okay.
You look completely feminine! It seems like maybe it’s body dysmorphia as someone else pointed out because to the third person there’s no questioning that you’re a young woman. I noticed a post where you mentioned you never medically transitioned, and that is a true blessing in my opinion. Maybe there’s still some issues or insecurities you haven’t worked out about your appearance or gender yet, but again, from the third person you seem like a completely normal gal. Much love, it’ll be alright
To more so answer your question directly- no, I choose to believe that T has not ruined my life. Living as a male for those years allowed me to come to appreciate so much, and love so much- the fact that I AM a woman. I regret things, sure, and I wish I hadn’t gone on HRT, even if I had done the surgery. But I guess I choose to look on “the bright side” sometimes. My voice makes me feel more confident sharing my ideas sometimes, even though I miss my dumb little whispery pre-T voice a lot. I think it allowed me to develop confidence. It’s made me a more interesting person. I like being around men because of the clear, stark contrast I see between them and myself. I have strong arms. I’m also naturally pretty tall (5’9), and I love seeing other tall women. There’s just some things I guess that I try to appreciate or transform into something positive because I already go crazy enough as it is. I try to remember the women that are cis and also struggle with feeling like women.
I pass enough I think. I think most of it is in my head. Over a year and a half I’ve been passing more effortlessly.
I relate so much to your post. I often feel like my voice is croaky and deep and not passable (even though some people say otherwise), but most often people default me to “they” I think out of confusion. That’s been one of the most difficult things.
I’ve been getting laser done on my face, but I really worry sometimes that it won’t be enough, or won’t be permanent. Right now I’m on the end half of my last session and I see the black stubble peeking through, which is so annoying.
Some people think I’m a trans woman, some people I think probably think I’m cis. A lot of people know my situation as a detrans person, at least friends and two lovers did.
I was on T for four years. I had top surgery. I’m glad you got to keep your breasts!
I think a lot of our issues, and I use our because I really resonated with your post, are internal feelings of how we are being perceived by others. You probably pass just fine. I’m not sure how lo mg you’ve been detransitioning either, but I’ve only been going a year and a half, and my body has changed a lot I think. Definitely losing some of the masculine features, besides the flat chest, haha.
Also- many women feel out of place, cis women who have never had a drop of T in their life, and just are born with more masculine shapes, or deeper voices, or sometimes even some facial hair. You’re not alone in feeling like you have to adhere to some standard, and in fact- I’d argue that’s a really integral part of the “woman” experience.
It’ll get better with time. We’re here for you, and again- congrats on your chest!
OH MY GOODNESS!!! Well firstly, your hard work has absolutely paid off, this is incredible, and extremely inspiring. My voice is still fairly deep, or at the very least androgynous, and I’ve been lamenting my pre-t voice a lot lately. Especially being someone who also has loved to sing, I feel like when I do I can only “perform” sounding male. Which is okay I guess, people like to hear me perform, but it just feels strange presenting so feminine and then belting out like a man. I was skeptical about voice training, but after listening to your tracks I really want to give it a serious try. Did you have professional training, or followed YouTube videos or anything? I find it hard to mimic sometimes the videos I see online of people explaining the training, but that’s probably the point, haha. Thank you for sharing! You sound amazing!