This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The user's comments are highly personal, nuanced, and emotionally complex, reflecting the genuine internal conflict, social pressures, and pain described by many detransitioners and desisters. The account's perspective is consistent with someone who is questioning, has stopped HRT, and is navigating a difficult and stigmatized experience.
About me
My journey with gender was confusing, and I rushed into taking testosterone after feeling pressured to follow a certain path. I stopped after four months and now I'm dealing with the fallout, especially worrying about my changed voice. I feel caught between people who would say "I told you so" and others who dismiss my experience as invalid. I just want to talk about my real pain without being used for a political argument. Right now, I'm not using any labels and am just trying to figure out what feels right for me, one day at a time.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been confusing, and I’m still figuring it out. I started identifying as trans and began taking testosterone. I was on T for about four months before I stopped. I’ve been off it for a little while now, and I’m dealing with the physical and social fallout from that decision.
One of my biggest worries right now is my voice. I’m hoping that after such a short time on hormones, my voice will slowly get closer to how it was before, but I know it might not be exactly the same. It’s a source of anxiety for me. I found some comfort in watching a detransitioned woman online who documented her vocal recovery after a similar short time on T, even if I didn't agree with all of her views.
Looking back, I think a lot of my struggle came from the pressure to fit into a specific box. When I first started questioning, it felt like there was a pipeline: if you think you might be trans, the next logical step is hormones and then surgery. But I never felt that extreme disconnect with my body that some people describe. I remember thinking that you could be trans and still be okay with your chest, for example. I wish there was more room for that kind of nuance, where people could express themselves freely without feeling pushed toward medical steps. If that freedom existed, I think a lot of us wouldn't end up regretting things later.
I actually started my exploration in non-binary spaces, and I found them much more open. There was less pressure to pick a label or rush into medical treatment. It was more about individual experience, which felt healthier. Right now, I’m not using any label for my gender. I’m just trying to figure out what feels right for me without the pressure.
Stopping testosterone was a big step, but I haven’t told many people. It’s overwhelming. I’m taking it one thing at a time. I figured I could always go back on T if I changed my mind, but for now, I needed to stop because I was so unsure. I’ve kept the new name I chose, though. I still like it, and it feels like mine.
The hardest part of all this hasn't been the personal confusion, but how other people react. It feels like you can't win. The friends and family I lost when I came out as trans would probably say "I told you so" if they knew I detransitioned, which is why I haven't told most of them. Their reaction is a big reason why I, and probably others, stay on hormones longer than we should when we have doubts—because dealing with the drama of "un-coming-out" is too much.
At the same time, the LGBTQ+ community, which was once a safe space, often reacts badly to detransitioners. I’ve seen people quickly dismiss us by saying we’re less than 1% or that we never really had dysphoria. That hurts because it invalidates the very real pain and confusion I’m feeling now. Then there's the other side, where right-wing media picks up detransition stories to push their own agenda. It feels like I’m being pulled into a political battle I never signed up for. I just want to talk about my experience without having to pick a side—without being seen as either "bitter and never trans" or "one of the good ones."
I don’t know if I’ll ever go back on hormones. I have regrets about rushing into medical transition without being more certain, and I feel caught between worlds. My feelings of dysphoria were real, but the solution I chose might not have been the right one for me. The whole experience has shown me how complicated this all is, and that there are no easy answers.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| (Age not specified) | Started identifying as trans and began taking testosterone. |
| (Age not specified) | Stopped testosterone after 4 months of use. |
| (Age not specified) | Stopped HRT but continued to use chosen name and did not tell most people. |
Top Comments by /u/Justkeeponliving:
One of the most misunderstood struggles of 'detransitioning' is that the hurt we feel is not just from the fact that we are detransitioning, that you made the wrong decision, or HRT is not for you, etc. It is the way the rest of the world reacts to your decision:
- The friends and family that you lost from coming out are going to say "I told you so," when in reality they had no idea how real and painful the feelings of dysphoria you had may have been or still are.
- I allow most of these people to still believe I am on HRT. I don't care for their input, as I believe people like this are a huge reason why many, myself included, stay on HRT while having doubts for much longer than they should have because of all the drama that was involved with coming out in the first place.
- Many (not necessarily all) members of the LGBTQ+ community, particularly the trans community, react very negatively to the existence of detransitioners, and as a result many feel alienated by a previously welcoming community that touts acceptance of all identities.
- Even when they do acknowledge their (our?) existence it is always with an assertion that "less than 1% of trans people de-transition" or "detransitioners never truly had dysphoria / you were never trans in the first place" or "detransitioners are most likely confused and will eventually re-transition".
- It doesn't matter if a statistic is accurate or not. What these assertions do is minimize and invalidate our current struggles regarding transition.
- Many trans-identifying individuals feel incredibly threatened by the discussion regarding the potential of regretting HRT.
- Even when they do acknowledge their (our?) existence it is always with an assertion that "less than 1% of trans people de-transition" or "detransitioners never truly had dysphoria / you were never trans in the first place" or "detransitioners are most likely confused and will eventually re-transition".
- Right-wing media targets detransitioners and publicizes their experiences to fulfill an agenda. Because of the above-mentioned LGBTQ+ community treatment I mentioned above I think many detransitioners are attracted to the validation of having your story be publicized, especially when you are feeling invalidated and ostracized.
- I am not saying that detransitioners are/aren't victims of a flawed system or arguing about medical gatekeeping. It is only natural, though, that those who want to limit HRT accessibility are going to target the narratives of those who have been the most burned.
In some ways, it is also the "detransition" community that hurts detransitioners, and this is really just due to all the external interfering factors I mentioned above. You have the detransitioners who feel extremely burned by the trans community and actively deny the existence that anyone is trans and feel that HRT should be made illegal. You have the detransitioners who still support the trans community and cautiously avoid saying anything too controversial, often because we don't want to lose our community or told we are bitter. (many, myself included, have friends and partners in this community)
There's people like me, who have told very few that I stopped taking HRT. I don't know that I'll never start it again, but I do know my eyes have been opened to the many nuances detransitioners face. I don't really know if I identify more as a detransitioner or as a trans non-binary person, but what I do know is that my negative experience and regrets regarding HRT are very real feelings I have right now.
It can feel like you HAVE to take a side when making the decision to medically or socially detransition, because of how you are categorized by people listening to your experience. You're either bitter and were never trans or you're "one of the good ones". Sorry for the long-winded response.
In my own experience exploring non-binary spaces, a lot less people are inclined to try to force you into a label or push hormones. It’s a lot more individualistic in that they acknowledge that every single person is going to feel their gender expression differently. I’m not saying to necessarily ID and non-binary (unless you want to) but I do think it is a good option for what you are looking for
I stopped T and haven’t told most people yet, it’s all just a bit too overwhelming to deal with at once. I suggest worrying about one thing at a time. Get off T if you’re unsure, you can always start again. You don’t have to tell anybody until you’re ready. Personally I am very confused about my gender and choose to not label it right now, but I like my new name and am going to keep going by it.
I think you can be trans and still want your chest. People need to stop making it all or nothing. Thinking you may be trans shouldn’t be a pipeline for “you need top surgery to pass”, what we should be pushing for is freedom of expression regardless of how you want to label yourself. If we had that half of us wouldn’t be in the position we were of regretting things.
I’ve been off a month now after 4 months of T, I can’t really offer any personal experience but I’ve seen many on here say that your voice can slowly become close but not exactly the same as your range before after short exposure. I’m in the same boat as you hoping it’s true.
Check out @cat_cattinson on TikTok (I think she has a YouTube channel too), she’s a ftmtf detransitioner (on T for 4 months) who sings, she’s documented much of her medical detransition. I personally do not completely agree with her views, they are just a little too anti-trans for me to be comfortable but her vocal progress is comforting.