This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's posts are emotionally raw, highly specific, and internally consistent, detailing a long-term struggle with transition, surgery, regret, and body image that aligns with known detransitioner experiences. The depth of personal anguish and the very specific, biological details about the permanence of their changes are not typical of a fabricated narrative.
About me
I started transitioning in my early twenties because I hated my female body and thought becoming a man would fix my deep self-hatred. I took testosterone for five years and had surgery to remove my breasts. I now deeply regret it, as the permanent changes have left me more uncomfortable than ever, and I am devastated that I can never breastfeed my children. My transition was a traumatic attempt to escape being a woman, not an expression of my true self. I'm now trying to live as a woman again, learning to cope with the permanent physical consequences and the profound regret.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition is complicated and filled with a lot of pain. I want to share it honestly, especially about the things I regret, in the hope that it might help others.
It all started because I hated my body. I’ve had body dysmorphia for most of my life, which came from past trauma and being conditioned to hate my shape and everything about myself. When I was younger, I couldn’t stand going through female puberty. I hated developing breasts and felt incredibly uncomfortable in my own skin. I thought transitioning was the answer to all that discomfort. I believed that if I could change my body to look male, I would finally feel right.
I lived as a transgender man for about five years. I took testosterone for that entire time. The changes were significant. My voice dropped permanently, and I grew a lot of body hair on my face, chest, and belly that I now have to deal with constantly through waxing and shaving. The biggest step I took was getting top surgery. I had my breasts completely removed, and my nipples were taken off too.
Now, I deeply regret that surgery and taking hormones. I thought it would fix my self-hatred, but it did the opposite. I feel more uncomfortable with my body now than I ever did before I transitioned. I can’t look in the mirror without feeling sick. I hate my scars and the flatness where my breasts used to be. I tried using breast forms, but they just made me feel worse, like a "bloke in drag," and made me feel even more disconnected from my body.
The biggest source of my regret is that I will never be able to breastfeed my future children. This is something that truly kills me inside. In my family, breastfeeding is the norm; it’s about that bonding and connection. I wanted that more than anything, and I’m devastated that I took that possibility away from myself because my nipples were removed and the breast tissue is gone. They left some tissue under my arms, but that’s not the same. I know I can’t get back what I lost. I can get reconstructive surgery, but it won't be what I had.
I’m trying to learn to love my body again after everything I’ve put it through, but it’s a daily struggle. I don’t think I will ever be 100% comfortable in my skin, and I fear I’ll hate myself until the day I die. I wish therapists had picked up on my deeper issues—the body dysmorphia and the trauma—sooner. I believe that if I had gotten the right kind of therapy instead of being affirmed in my transition, I wouldn't be in this situation now. I still support the trans community, but I think the system for helping people who are questioning needs a lot of work.
Looking back, my transition wasn’t about being a man. It was an escape from being a woman I hated. I was running from myself, and now I have to live with the permanent consequences.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Late Teens | Started feeling intense discomfort with my female body during puberty. Hated my breasts. |
| Early 20s | Began identifying as transgender and started taking testosterone. |
| Mid 20s | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy with nipple removal). |
| Around 27 | Stopped testosterone and began detransitioning after 5 years on hormones. |
| Present (Late 20s) | Living as a woman again, dealing with permanent changes from testosterone and the loss of my breasts. |
Top Comments by /u/KITWOLF95:
I'm still learning to love my body especially after everything I've put it through and my scars and lack of chest. But I'm getting there I think
I don't think I will ever be 100 %comfortable in this skin and that's what I fear the most is hating myself and my body until the day I die...
There is very little chance I will be able to breastfeed as my nipples were removed during surgery... They left breast tissue under my arms but that is it so yeah I'm growing tints under my arms during pregnancy.
Sadly breast tissue doesn't just grow back with pregnancy... Human anatomy doesnt work like that..
One of my biggest bits of regret and depression is the fact that I will not be able to breast feed my child... It kills me
You look fantastic hun
Sadly for some of us who've been on T a lot longer than yourself the changes made are more permanent and soul destroying. I was on it for 5 years and now have to wax/shave my face, chest and belly almost daily. I have a permanently lowered voice and of course I had my breasts removed and I can never get them back ...I can get replacements but it won't be what I lost
I am a lot happier now than I was, I just still don't feel comfortable in my skin.
I hate myself for going through with topsurgery and the 5 years of T I wish I'd given myself a shake long before now and realised that it wasn't me and I don't know how to fix the feelings of self hatred everything I look down or look in the mirror
I'm going through this same thing right now, I got mine removed a year ago and I hate myself even more than I did prior to surgery. I can't look in the mirror, I feel sick looking at my scars and feeling them.
Breast forms make me feel like a bloke in drag they make me feel even more dissociated from my body than I already am.
I'm struggling so much right now and I don't know where to turn.
Just my body in general, I have body dysmorphia due to past trauma and a life time of being conditioned to hate my shape and everything about myself. That is why I transitioned in the first place but now I am more uncomfortable with my body than I was prior to transition. I hate my chest and my body hair and wish I'd never had surgery or hormones
A side note I am a detransitioning woman, I will always until my last dying breath support and believe in the trans* community I just believe the type of therapy and the amount of therapy available for those questioning needs a lot of work. Had therapists picked up on my issues sooner I wouldn't be in the situation I am in now.
Why wouldn't i , I want my future kids to have the best start in life and breast has been scientifically proven to be best! I want that bonding, that connection that you get from breast feeding. Myself and my siblings were breast fed, all of the children in my family have been breast fed. Why is it an issue that I would prefer to breast feed over man made formula ?
I am prioritizing my mental health ATM kids are a thing for the future I'm not saying I'm gonna get pregnant next bloody week lol
I don't know if it is an issue with the forms that I have or if it is because when I look down they look fake because I know they are fake, I'm afraid the bras with inbuilt ones will be the same and I don't really have the money to keep buying different ones just to see what works