This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user demonstrates:
- A consistent, nuanced, and personal narrative of being a desister (a woman who identified as trans but did not medically transition).
- Emotional depth and lived experience, including internal conflict and anger stemming from their time in the trans community.
- Logical consistency in their arguments over time.
- A specific comment asking for clarification on the term "desister," which is typical of a genuine user new to a community.
About me
I was an autistic girl with masculine interests who found community online and identified as non-binary for a time. I began to question it all when I was told my female experience made me an oppressor and I witnessed a lot of misogyny from trans-identified males. I realized the ideology was confusing and fostered self-hatred, and that being a woman doesn't dictate my personality or interests. I stopped identifying as trans and now have a much clearer understanding of myself. I'm just a woman with diverse interests, and that was always okay.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started long before I ever heard the word "transgender." Even as a little kid, I always believed that people should be able to act and dress however they wanted, no matter if they were a boy or a girl. I hated the idea that your sex should determine your interests or how you behaved. I was an autistic girl with a lot of what people call "masculine" interests, and I just thought that was perfectly fine.
When I found online trans communities as a young adult, it felt like I had found a place that finally understood that feeling. I started to identify as non-binary. I never medically transitioned—no hormones or surgeries—but I did transition socially for a period of time. Looking back, I think a lot of my pull toward that identity was a form of escapism. I had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem, and the community offered a sense of belonging and a clear, if complicated, identity.
But being in that space also created a lot of confusion and self-hatred for me. I was constantly told that, because I was born female, I was an "oppressor" and that my experience was inherently less oppressed than that of trans women. This idea never made sense to me. They talked about "transmisogyny," but the logic seemed completely backwards. If society sees a trans woman as a man, then discrimination against them can't be misogyny; it's discrimination based on them being a certain type of man. I could never wrap my head around it, but I was too afraid to question it out loud because I didn't want to be seen as a bigot.
I finally allowed myself to really think about these concepts, and I realized it was nonsense. That was a huge turning point for me. I also saw a lot of misogyny within the community itself. I came to believe that many trans-identified males don't actually see trans-identified females as real men; they often seemed to enjoy being misogynistic toward us and then hiding behind the excuse of "but you're a man" to dismiss our feelings. This was especially clear in debates about spaces like bathrooms. The idea that women might simply want same-sex spaces for privacy and safety was treated as a hateful opinion. I began to understand that for some men, it was less about safety and more about a desire to enter a space they didn't belong in, sometimes fueled by fetishes like autogynephilia.
Ultimately, I realized that the word "woman" simply means an adult human female. It doesn't dictate my personality, my interests, or how I should dress. I am an autistic woman with masculine interests, and that's okay. I don't need a different gender identity to justify who I am. I stopped identifying as trans.
I don't regret exploring my identity because it led me to this clearer understanding of myself. But I do regret the time I spent trapped in a community that fostered so much confusion and self-hatred. I'm grateful to have found this detrans community where I can talk about these experiences with people who understand.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | Always believed people should act and dress how they want, regardless of sex. Felt comfortable as an autistic girl with masculine interests. |
| Young Adult (early 20s) | Discovered online trans communities and began to socially identify as non-binary. |
| Mid-20s | Started to question the ideology, particularly the concept of "transmisogyny" and the misogyny within the community. |
| 26 | Stopped identifying as trans. Realized "woman" simply means adult human female and that this definition includes all my interests and personality. |
Top Comments by /u/KardomonEverest0:
The entire concept of "transmisogyny" never actually made sense to me. Because transfems will claim that society sees them as predatory men, and yet they will call discrimination against them misogyny? How does that make any sense? If someone views a trans woman as a man, and that person is discriminating against the trans woman on the basis of him being a trans woman, that means it's not misogyny. Because the person was discriminating against the trans woman on the basis of being a certain type of man.
No matter what, you are still "more of a woman" than they will ever be. (Of course "more of a woman" isn't actually a thing, you either are a woman or you aren't, and you are, OP.)
They can go around and boast about how they are "more woman than any transphobic cis woman" but it will never, ever be true no matter how many times they say it. A woman is an adult human female, they are adult human males, therefore not women.
I agree. And to clarify the particular self hatred I was referring to in my reply was fueled by constantly being told by the rest of the trans community that I was the "oppressor" for not being a trans woman. So there was really multiple things going on at once that were contributing to the self hatred on the basis of sex. I'm happy to have found this community to where I can air out these feelingd and see thag other people can relate.
Even though I never understood it while in the community, I never allowed myself to question if it was something that actually made objective sense or not. Because according to trans identified males, if I ever questioned it, I would be a hateful bigot toward the Most Oppressed Group Ever, and that wasn't something I wanted to be. Once I actually allowed myself to contemplate the concept, I realized "Wait, this is nonsense. That's why I don't understand it. Because it is genuine nonsense."
I would agree with you if I felt like many trans identified males genuinely view trans identified females as anything other than women or girls. I personally believe many of them don't actually view transmen as men and female "non binary" people as "non binary." I believe many of them simply enjoy being misogynistic toward women and girls and then using "but you're a man" as an excuse.
How grossly patriarchal is it that their identify of "transmisogyny affected" was based on something that they (supposedly) were, and our identy of "transmisogyny expempt" had to be based on us lacking something that they had instead of us being allowed to label ourselves based on something that we had or were affected by.
And how do we know which physically passing "transwomen" will assault a woman? We don't. Assault is also not the only thing women don't want to experience in the bathroom. We also don't want to be involuntary participants in someone's autogynephilia. We don't know which "transwomen" are autogynephiles and which are not.
Correct, if someone is discriminating against a transwoman because they believe he's a woman then they would in fact be acting out of misogyny. I am not denying that. What I am saying is that someone discriminating against a transwoman cannot both believe he is a man and be engaging in "misogyny" against him simultaneously.
I might actually have the wrong idea about what desist is versus what detrans is since I'm new. Is a desister someone who no longer identifies as trans but never medically trasitioned? That would describe me and I thought that's what it was so I chose that as my user flair.
You're right about your second point actually. But again, many women would like the restroom to remain same-sex, as it was intended to be. I think that the best solution for if a tiny population of men is saying that they truly don't want to use the men's restroom would be for public places to start adding restrooms for male transexuals. Then they can either use those since they don't want to use the men's restroom, or they can still choose to go into the women's which would prove that they just desperately want to enter a space they don't belong in rather than it being about wanting to be safe or not cause a disruption in the men's. I have mixed feelings on what should happen in the meantime.