This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user demonstrates:
- Personal, detailed experience with medical transition, SRS, and living as a trans woman.
- Consistent and nuanced views over time, expressing deep regret and criticism of transition while acknowledging the complexity of gender dysphoria.
- Emotional depth and introspection that aligns with the passionate and often painful experiences shared by genuine detransitioners.
The account shows no signs of automated posting, inconsistent storytelling, or trolling behavior typical of inauthentic accounts. The perspective is harsh but aligns with a legitimate detransition narrative.
About me
From a young age, I felt I should have been a girl, and my hatred for my male body exploded during puberty, leading to deep depression. I was convinced by doctors and media that I had a female brain and that fully transitioning was my only path to happiness. I started hormones at 18 and had surgery at 21, but I eventually realized it was all a lie and that I had mutilated my body. I see now that my transition was a form of escapism from an identity crisis, and I deeply regret the permanent damage and lost chance for a family. I am now trying to rebuild my life, focusing on my work and hoping for future medical advances to help repair the harm.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was very young. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a girl. I was an effeminate kid who played with dolls, had long hair, and always felt more comfortable with girls. I hated sports and was more into arts and books. This feeling that something was wrong with my maleness was always there, but it exploded into full-blown hatred when I hit puberty. The idea of becoming a man was terrifying to me. I became deeply depressed and suicidal from around age 12.
I was convinced by doctors, the trans community, and media I saw—like the movie Transamerica when I was about 11—that my feelings meant I had a medical condition called "gender identity disorder." They told me I had a female brain in a male body, that this identity was permanent, and that the only way to fix my depression and dysphoria was to transition completely. I was diagnosed by multiple psychiatrists and an endocrinologist. The message was clear: transition or my life would get worse until I was an old, unpassing trans person or I killed myself.
I started taking cross-sex hormones at 18, as soon as I legally could. I later had sex reassignment surgery (SRS) when I was 21. I changed all my legal documents and lived as a woman. For a while, I believed I was doing the right thing and that I was finally becoming my true self.
But I eventually realized it was all a lie. I am not a woman and never will be. I don't have a vagina; I have a mutilated penis. The surgery was traumatic and the results are not what I was promised. Sensation is diminished and sex is not pleasurable; it just makes me miss what I had, even though I hated it at the time. I am now sterile, dependent on artificial hormones for life, and I have serious complications and health risks from the treatments.
I see now that my transition was a form of escapism. I was having an identity crisis and the trans community gave me a new identity, a sense of community, and a set of complex, time-consuming goals. It was a way to check out of my own life. In retrospect, it was like a progressive, positive way to commit suicide. I was trying to destroy the person I was with the false hope of being reborn as someone happy on the other side.
I believe my discomfort with my gender was deeply tied to our hypersexualized society. Puberty was horrifying because being a man seemed to be only about a sexual role I was uncomfortable with. I think I internalized a lot of fear and disgust around sexuality and my own body. Transition felt like an escape from that.
I have many regrets. I feel like I murdered my former self. I am stuck now in a body that causes me health problems and makes it difficult to form deep, intimate relationships. I mourn the life I could have had—the ability to have a family, to have a real marriage with a true physical connection. The idea that doctors encouraged me to do this and then, when I expressed regret, told me to "just accept my body as it is" and continue taking hormones, feels like a profound betrayal. It seems they never really cared about my well-being.
I don't believe changing sex is possible. Gender dysphoria is a mental health issue, not a birth defect. The brain is malleable, and I believe psychotherapy and addressing root causes like trauma are the right path, not mutilating healthy bodies. The transmedicalist idea that you must have a "female brain" is false and traps people in a cycle of irreversible treatments.
I am now trying to make the best of my situation. I focus on my interests, my work, and the hope that advances in regenerative medicine might one day help repair some of the damage. Life is happening now, and I can't waste any more of it dwelling on a past I can't change.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 11 | Saw the movie Transamerica, which influenced my ideas about transition. |
| 12 | Began experiencing severe depression and suicidal thoughts. |
| 18 | Started cross-sex hormone therapy (HRT). |
| 21 | Underwent sex reassignment surgery (SRS). |
| 24 | Realized transition was a mistake and began identifying as detransitioned. |
Top Comments by /u/KennethAnFerbasach:
Your point about the seven deadly sins is excellent.
The values of the West have either been lost or inversed. I believe that the transsexual phenomenon is just another manifestation of this loss and perversion and feel more inclined to adress the root cause rather than only its consequences.
Don't we get those kind of posts every week?
If you have doubts you should wait until your brain has finished maturing (25 years old) rather committing to a life-long, experimental and potentially dangerous treatment that will make your life worse in many ways.
Except for the fact that I am a straight male I could have written this post.
I see myself completely in what you have written. The complete dichotomy between me and my pre-transition self, the guilt of having failed him, I would go so far as to say that I murdered him, the shame of being but a shade of what I could have been, the feeling of powerlessness in regard to the irreversibility of my situation, everything is there.
I dont know what to tell you, except that you are not alone in this torment, if this make you feel any better. I wish I knew what to do. I am drudging along life, waiting for a ray of hope, while being periodically gutshot by a renewed understanding that I am but the shameful murderer of my own self.
I was so wrapped up in myself that all I wanted to do was hit my 20s, when I felt like I could actually live.
I guess one of the thing that really helped me snap out of this mentality (even though it is quite a scary thought), was coming to the realisation that life has no practice run. We don't get to train for it. Life does not start when we hit 18, or 21, or when we finish our transition, or when we detransition. No. It is going on right now and has since we were born. There is no better time to do what we want to do than the present, because after all, it is the only thing we have.
Even though this person claims to "support" detransitioners this video consist of nothing more than an attempt at delegitimizing detransitioners and their struggles.
She minimizes the numbers of detransitioners by citing pretty flawed studies (other comments in this thread have elaborated further). She obviously glosses over the astonishingly high rate of suicide among "transgender people".
She denies our experiences, claiming that we were "not really trans in the first place". As she herself explains, being "transgender" is completely subjective, there is no physical signs of being "transgender" and the diagnostic is based on self-identification. If someone claims to be transgender they are and should be allowed to "transition", but if they latter regret that "transition" they retroactively were not transgender? This is obviously ridiculous. What give this person any more legitimacy in being "transgender" than I or any other detransitioner?
By confusing opposition to transgenderism and opposition to "transgender people" she is trying to paint any detransitioners who would have any criticism of transgenderism as being a hateful "transphobe". In a world where x-ism and x-phobia are the gravest of sins, this is a pretty transparent attempt at shaming and silencing us.
Her overall point is thus, detransitioners are a small, irrelevant, and potentially morally abhorrent minority of people who have made a mistake. Let's ignore them. No changes to the system have to be made.
I found her criticism of the young girl suing the NHS very telling. If detransitioners were "not really trans in the first place" then this young girl was prescribed a harmful and inappropriate treatment, which is a medical malpractice. Furthermore, if someone that is "not really trans in the first place" was diagnosed as trans, then the diagnostic process has failed and probably need to evolve to make sure that those that are "not really trans" are screened and not prescribed "transition". But none of that matters, this young girls needs to just shut up because her lawsuit could make it harder for "legitimate trans people" to access "transition".
Basically, she is afraid of the coming backlash against transgenderism due to the surge of detransition and she is doing damage control to protect her lifestyle against it. Her claims to "support detransitioners" is nothing but empty words to appear reasonable and morally righteous.
The idea that you have a condition that is forever a part of you, for which the only cure is complete transition and there is really nothing else you can do really traps people in, at least it did for me.
I feel the whole, "you dont have to take hormones or do surgeries to be valid", "my gender is unicorn" nonsense may be completely ridiculous but at least it allows people to more easily desist and detransition.
I'm soon to start my bottom surgery stuff
I know this will probably fall on deaf ears but I still have to say it : don't.
Or at least wait until you are older to even consider it, 25, or better, 30.
I was dysphoric about my genital, went to a very reputable surgeon and had no complication, yet I regret it tremendously. This ghastly surgery will give you nothing more than a mutilated penis and I am not exagerating. The "neo-vagina" doesn't have a cervix and therefore does not self-lubricate. The "neo-clitoris" is nothing more than a piece of glan with no internal structure. Penetration is not really pleasurable and all sensations are the same as those of a penis and leave me longing for what I had before, no matter how much I hated it then.
Please don't go down the same road that I went trough. Srs seemed to be the happy ending to a beautiful journey of self-discovery but it was only the traumatic beginning to a life of misery and regret with no real hope of going back.
As I cant really speak for everyone, here is my point of view :
Why did you transition in the first place?
I wanted to be a girl probably since I was born, in fact as a child I believed that I would become one when I grew up. I always identified and made friends more easily with girls. I played with dolls, had long hair, wanted to become a mom. I was an effeminate quiet kid who was interested in arts and books and hated sports. My unease with my maleness was with me for as long as I can remember but really blew up into full blown hatred when I entered puberty. The idea of becoming a man was one of the most terrifying though that I could possibly imagine. I was, and still am to an extent, extremely gender dysphoric.
I was then convinced by medical professionals (I was diagnosticed with "primary transexualism" by three different psychiatrist and an endocrinologist), the trans community and culture at large (for example, I saw the movie "Transamerica" when I was 11 or so) that this meant that I had a medical condition known as "gender identity disorder" which was caused by my "female gender identity" being at odd with my male body, that this "female gender identity" was eternal and unchanging, that it was the evidence the I was really a girl, and that it was possible, proper and in fact the only way to solve my problems (I had suicidal depression since I was 12 or so) to take social, medical and legal steps to alter myself to "become the woman that I was supposed to be" and in fact that unless I took those steps my problems would get worse and worse until I became an old unpassing tranny filled with regrets or killed myself.
why all of you are going back?
I dont know if/when I will detransition and how I would even go about it. Even with short hair, no makeup, sports bra, a jean and a tshirt and putting no effort on my voice I dont really appear male, at least thats what everyone tells me, androgynous at best. I also changed all my legal documents, had SRS, have breasts and will need artificial hormones for the rest of my life no matter what. I feel kind of stuck in transition, if I can put it this way. However I realised that it was all a lie. That I am not really a woman, I never was and never will be. That I dont have a vulva but a mutilated penis. That working so hard to go against your own biology is profundly medically, psychologically and even spiritually unhealthy. And that lying to everyone, starting with myself, that I am a woman profundly exacerbate my anxiety.
Are you completely against trans people now?
I view gender dysphoric people as people who suffer tremendously but were sadly misled, sometime by the trans community itself kind of like a crab basket, into the wrong solution to deal with their problems.
I personally would love to see some of you as allies against the tucutes in the trans community(people who believe you don't need dysphoria to be trans)
"Tucutes" treat transgenderism like they would a subculture, they try on pronouns and hormones, sometimes even surgeries, like they would a haircut or clothes. While this is both insane and dangerous, it also reveals the transexual phenomenon for what it is, a fade that will, we can hope, be one day cast away into the dustbin of history. Its the people who pathologise deviancy, especially in children and youth, and call it a genetic defect that needs corrective surgery, i.e. "transmedicalists/truscum", that frightens me the most.
So sorry, but I dont really see a way for me to ever be an ally to "transmedicalists/truscum", and I say that as someone who subscribed to your point of view for years.
Your transition will also quite literally never be behind you. It can't be when you've made yourself dependent on hormones.
Very important point to keep in mind. Because it is impossible to change sex, there is no such thing as "post-transition". A transexual is always and forever a transexual, always in transition.
Obviously I do not mind that you are not trans.
I dont think this person is going to make me reconsider my view on transgenderism. Nevertheless I still would like to be able to express the discomfort that it caused me to them.
Having done SRS I dont even know what detransition would be like for me or if it would even be materially wise for me to do so at this point in my life.
Anyway, thank you for your answer.