My family was relieved, my mother even screamed: "Yes, now I can tell everyone I (still) have a daugther" She told me she hated calling me her second son.

My friends are pretty cool about it. They asked right away if they could call me by my nickname (it's a short version of my birthname) again.

I have colleagues who I expected they would understand now suddenly say no you are a man, while a year ago they still struggled to call me by my chosen name. I still don't know what to do with that, because I can't avoid them.

Edit: I haven't told my crush in person yet. But I guess she already knows it, because she is a colleague. And besides she already had a crush on me before I went on T and still had when I was on T.

There is no excuse when someone cheats on you, so don't blame yourself. He's the one to blame.

And for what it's worth: When I was on T and had my breast removed I dated with a co-worker. She wanted to kiss me and go further, but I couldn't do it because she has a girlfriend. And even now, still with no-breast, she wants to cheat with me on her girlfriend. So it doesn't have anything to do with how you look!

I saw your video btw and I've wouldn't know that you had T and you have no breast, you look and sound like a normal woman to me. Your ex is an asshole for cheating on such a beautiful woman like you!

You look amazing! And I love your hairstyle. When I was a little kid I had so much curls, but when I got older and during T I cut my hair really short. So I didn't had any curls anymore. Now I have long hair and my curls are back. For a while I had de same lenght as you in your last picture, but I figered out when you let it grow longer you get more curls plus it looks more feminine. If that's what you wish for.

So true! I wanted to remove my boobs because they where to big. So I went to a genderclinic, they told me I'm a transman and I left with taking T for 20 months, a mastectomy and a hystectomy. But I'm not a transman at all, I'm a woman who had a really low selfimage due to been bullied all my life. This "trans trend" and those genderclinics are ruining people's life instead of making people better!

Your mother can still see you, her spirit will guidance you. And she still sees you as her daughter. My mother died 3 months after I told her I wanted to detranstition. The first thing she said to me when I told her that I made a mistake is: "I'm so happy to have my daughter back." I believe she never saw me as her son or a man, but as her daughter who was lost. Before her dead I never believed in an afterlife. But after she died I saw and experience things which I can't explain other then that my mother is still with me and tries to help me. So I believe that your mother can still see and hear you and tries to guide you on the right path. And she is so proud of the woman and the daughter you're.

Thank you! It's though ride, but I'm making progress. Last week I went to the gender clinic and they apologized for persuading me to transition. And now they gonna help me to get a breast reconstruction and a way to make sure the insurance will cover for the reconstruction.

Thanks!

After I decided to stop with T I made an appointment with a voice therapist. Some of her patients are MtF's. When I started she noticed that I spoke from the chest, like a man does. I had to do Lax Vox (it's bubbling through a straw in a bottle of water). I thought in the beginning that I had to do this to get a higher pitch. But after a week I noticed that I started to speak more from the throth and the head.

After the first week I had to read senctences in Dutch. They are full with typical Dutch 'sounds'. And I had to sit up straight and to breath in a certain way (it's hard to explain). And after the third week I had to read pieces of text in Dutch and to open and close my throth (it's also hard to explain) for a less squeaky voice. Plus I had to swallow before every sentence to get a brighter voice.

Last week she didn't gave me any excersices, instead she recorded my voice. She told me she will ask a few people how they would gender my voice. So next Monday she will tell me the results and she wants to discuss my progres till now.

I watched also all the TransVoiceLessons videos on YouTube. But I find it hard to raise and hold the larnyx high. My voice therapist told me I don't need to raise my larnyx, because my pre-T voice didn't sound brighter then the one I have now. The only difference was that my pre-T voice was always way too high. Now my average pitch is above 230 hz.

But I want a more brighter voice, so I found Nicole from the Undead Voice Lab. I had a chat with her and she showed me some techniques how to control the larnyx. Maybe I'm going to book sessions with her. But I don't know yet, because my voice therapist told me that it will be a good idea to follow some singing lessons. Because then you will also learn how to control your larnyx.

I made a video the day I decided to stop with T and I made one yesterday. If I can find a way to cover my face I will upload it. In the videos I speak in the local dialect, but you can clearly hear the difference.

I asking myself the same question over and over again. My mother told me before my top-surgery she was worried that I would regret it. Telling her she was right was the most difficult thing I had to do. And I hate myself for hurting her so much, but I needed to tell her because I knew she wanted her daughter back. So my opinion is to tell your parents, because I think they will feel very sorry for you and they will accept you as you are.

I also wish we could go back in time... But unfortunately we can't. I found a psych, not one from the genderclinic, but one that addresses themes of grief, loss, and self-acceptance. Plus I found a doctor who told me about options on boobs reconstruction. In the mean time I hope time will heal everything.

Edit: + I went to a voice therapist, to get a more feminine voice and the voice excersises keep me busy everyday.

++ I waxed my whole body, I don't have a beard so I don't have to shave very often, and I let my hair grow.

+++ What I'm trying to say is that you have to keep yourself busy. And every step you take, even a small one like waxing e.g., is a healing one.

Thanks!

I started with gel, Androgel, in October 2019 and in June 2020 I started with shots, Nebido. So I took T for almost 1,5 year but I was on it for much much longer.

And yes I did some voice training. I started with it in May 2021, the day after I decided to detransition. I put a lot of effort in it until my mother passed away in August 2021. After that I still went from time to time to a voice therapist, but I didn't do the excersises she gave me anymore. In the first week of this year I had the last appointment with her and then we recorded my voice and it was really in the female range. So I think my voice is partly back through training but also because the T is out of my body.

So true. In my father's family everyone has a prominent brow ridge and a huge nose, the women as well. I'm the only lucky woman in the family who hasn't and going on T didn't changed it. But my aunt, her daughter and the two daughters of my uncle all have a large nose, a prominent brow ridge, a large forehead and a wide jawline, but they still look real feminine. One of my niece has every 6 months a new boyfriend, even now when she is 35. I know guys who find her very attractive. So don't think of it as something unattractive, because there will always be someone who finds it beautiful and super attractive.