This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user's comments demonstrate:
- Personal, nuanced, and emotionally charged opinions consistent with a detransitioner/desister's perspective.
- Consistent ideology focused on the harms of transition and gender ideology.
- Personal experience with therapy (mentioning DBT and a BPD diagnosis).
- Engagement in complex, multi-faceted discussions with other users, offering detailed advice and arguments.
The passion and strong opinions are not a red flag but are expected from someone who feels they have been harmed by these experiences.
About me
I started transitioning because I was deeply unhappy and thought becoming someone else was the answer. The initial excitement faded into the exhausting performance of trying to pass and the pain of feeling isolated. I realized I was trying to fix my internal problems by changing my outside, and I found real help through therapy that challenged my thinking. I now see I was a confused person influenced by a harmful ideology, and I have major regrets. I've detransitioned and am finally learning to accept myself as I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started because I was deeply unhappy and looking for an escape. I was convinced that all my problems were because I was born in the wrong body. At the time, I was heavily influenced by what I saw online and by the people I surrounded myself with. They all pushed one narrative: that transitioning was the answer. I had low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety, and I latched onto this idea that becoming someone else would fix everything.
For a while, it did feel wonderful. The initial validation and the excitement of change were like a high. But that didn't last. I quickly realized that passing was a constant, exhausting performance. I always had to be "on," always worrying about my voice, my mannerisms, if people could tell. It was incredibly isolating. Friends and family didn't know how to act around me anymore, and I could always tell when people were just pretending to accept me. It felt patronizing, like they were humoring a child.
My dating life became almost impossible. The idea that most men would be genuinely attracted to me once they knew I was trans was a fantasy. It would have required a life built on lies, and the fear of rejection was constant. I started to see how much of this was driven by ideology, not reality. I was expected to learn all these rules about being a woman, like studying misogyny, which just felt like being forced into another box. I hated the idea that I had to "focus" on being a gender. It’s not something you should have to think about that hard; you should just be able to live.
Looking back, I think a lot of my drive to transition came from a place of not liking myself. I had a lot of internal issues that I was trying to solve by changing my outside. I was misdiagnosed multiple times with things like bipolar disorder before I finally got the right help. I see now that my thought patterns were the real problem. I benefited immensely from non-affirming therapy, specifically Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). It helped me challenge the way I was thinking instead of just affirming my delusions.
I have major regrets about my transition. The level of regret I feel is something I can't even put into words. I was misled by an agenda that is making billions of dollars off of people's suffering. They know the harm they're causing, but the money is too good to stop. I see that now. I was so quick to vilify the other side of the political spectrum, but it turns out they were the ones with a more realistic view of things. My own opinions back then were worse and more destructive than anything I heard from them.
My thoughts on gender now are simple. There are men and there are women. There are feminine men and masculine women, and that's okay. You don't need to change your body to fit a stereotype. The pressure to conform to rigid gender roles exists on both sides, and it's toxic. For men, the expectations are to be tough, aggressive, and emotionally closed-off. For women, it's a different set of rules. The goal should be to break free from those expectations, not to medically transition to fit into another set of them.
I don't think I was ever truly trans. I was a confused person who was influenced and manipulated into believing that a medical solution was the only way to fix my deep-seated psychological issues. I'm just grateful I realized it before I did anything permanent like surgery.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 22 | Started socially transitioning after being influenced by online communities and friends. |
| 23 | Began living full-time as the opposite gender. The initial feeling was positive, but the stress of passing began. |
| 24 | Realized the social isolation and performance was unsustainable. Started to question the ideology. |
| 25 | Began non-affirming therapy (CBT/DBT). This was the turning point where I started to understand my real issues. |
| 26 | Detransitioned socially. Stopped trying to present as the opposite gender and started working on accepting myself. |
Top Comments by /u/Kowashisname:
Why assume the worst about someone's intentions? Is it inconceivable that someone on the opposite side of the political spectrum is capable of empathy and may feel bad so many young people are suffering?
I feel like this sort of "hate think" and negative thinking is what got many people of this subreddit here in this position in the first place. Everyone listened to one side and vilified the other, and the one side convinced them to do terrible things to themselves. You would think after being misled so terribly one may give the other side's opinion an open mind. If the side that caused so much suffering was wrong about gender ideology, perhaps they were wrong on more
There are people who don't fit the mold, but generally speaking, here are a few things to know:
It will feel wonderful at first.
Anytime you don't pass will feel terrible.
Friends/family will walk on eggshells around you, or may not know how to be with you.
Many people will judge your character before you speak.
Your dating life will become a hell of a lot harder, if not non-existent.
If you get surgery/take anything the changes will often times be irreversible. If you change your mind when you're older, the level of regret you'll feel cannot be captured with words.
You will always need to put on an act in public, and can never be yourself/speak in your real voice for fear of not passing.
Most people will never truly see you as the gender you're transitioning to. Some will pretend to, others will flat out deny it, and it will hurt a lot. You'll be able to tell when people are 'pretending' to accept you, and it makes you feel like a toddler.
Your friend groups will likely need to be comprised of woke people, as truly, TRULY open-minded people are rare. You will have to play the woke part or they will turn on you like you're the devil.
I'm so sorry. It's such a terrible situation. There is an agenda out there that is manipulating the 'data'. 10 years ago, most studies cautioned against transitioning. For example, here's one from 2010 explaining people that transition have a higher suicide rates, attempts and hospitalizations then their counterparts:
https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0016885
So crazy that in 10 short years all the studies say the opposite and cite ludicrously low detransition rates. It's all so...disgusting and manipulative.
While you're probably right about the ocd and neurodivergent nature being a cause (though the primary cause was likely social media and brainwashing), you may want to shy away of throwing that at her. It won't work, and she'll move into defense mode.
I wish I had more advice than that. My heart breaks for you, it must be awful.
Also know that there WILL be expectations on being a man, especially if you intend on having a friend circle full of men.
You'll need to give off an air of being willing to fight physically if ever someone insults you.
You'll need to playfully insult, and playfully take insults quite often. Alot of times they're harsh.
If anything physical in nature needs to be done, you'll be expected to participate.
You'll need to initiate most conversations, people are not so willing to strike up conversations with men as they are with women.
Things you're able to do alone, you will do alone.
You can not talk about your feelings openly save for very, very few people (online is different than real life). Conversations revolving around negative emotions are a no-go. Have to keep them to yourself.
Have you tried showing them this subreddit and encouraging her to engage with it a little? I'm a man, so idk her experience, but the women here are very smart and have intimate knowledge on what your daughter's going through. Better than anybody really.
This is really telling
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EYdzTPaguU&ab_channel=ProjectVeritas
Behind closed doors they know perfectly well and just shrug at it. Trans medicine brings in $200 billion so they sweep it under the rug. In the video they're even bragging how top surgery alone brings in $40,000 each. So gross and unjust.
Where is this fear of getting murdered coming from? 45 trans are killed a year, and it's usually after a sexual encounter with someone that didn't know. If there are 1.6 million trans in the US, that's .0028% of them. The chances of dying in a car accident is 1%. What is making you have this irrational fear?
Everyone has notoriously bad opinions on everything. There was a time when we thought taking drugs would lead to happiness, and it made most of us depressed. Back then, we would ENCOURAGE children to potentially ruin their lives. What opinion is worse than ours was? Our opinion was actually destroying people.
I say all this to say bad opinions don't mean someone is not worth listening too. Noone is ever 100% right or 100% wrong. His opinion in the video IS the right one. I hope to god noone looks at me the way you look at him, because my opinion was worse than any I've ever heard from the 'Right' I used to hate so much. I don't want to be dehumanized because I was wrong.
There are a lot of problems here. Trigger Warning: I’m going to be brutally honest.
“He 110% saw me as a male crossdressing as female and I wasn’t complaining”
How could you possibly know this? Did he verbally say “I see you as a crossdressing male”, or is this a conclusion you came to yourself?
“I was focusing my energy on social interaction and not on being female.”
This is how life is supposed to be experienced and is what 99% of people do. You’re not supposed to ‘focus’ on being a gender. You don’t have to do or say specific things to be your true sex, these are delusions you’re creating for yourself that aren’t based on reality. There are tomboys and feminine men, doesn’t mean the tomboy is a man or the feminine man is a woman.
“The only times I want to self-harm and get sexual thoughts is when I am able to devote enough of my thoughts to being a woman.”
It sounds like you are too focused on pretending to be something rather than just being yourself. To ‘be’ doesn’t require thoughts or effort, you simply just stay alive.
“I also learned recently that apparently being a woman means I have to learn all about misogyny and stuff”
This is ridiculous. Where are you getting this information from? A youtuber? Your friend group? Whatever it is, it’s wrong. Between this statement and how you described the event, it sounds like your social circles are a huge detriment to your well-being and may be prohibiting you from growing as a person. You don’t have to learn ‘how’ to be a woman, you just are one. You don’t have to do anything, learn anything, or say anything, especially gross ideology like that which vilifies half the human race.
“I have OCD”
I highly doubt you have OCD. OCD is an anxiety disorder that is accompanied by irresistible compulsions that are designed to reduce the obsessive thoughts. I have seen more self-diagnosis & misdiagnosis of OCD than any other mental-illness. Nothing in your post suggests OCD. In fact, it’s the opposite. OCD individuals are typically isolated and have an aversion to socializing at all, and a social gathering typically would cause the OCD individual to have so much anxiety they’d freak out.
If I’m being honest, it sounds like you really need a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist. There are so many issues with the WAY you think, and it needs to be changed or else you’re going to have a terrible time going throughout life. Too much of your life is dictated by what people think of you. There’s no one answer to the problem you have, because the problem is your thought patterns. It has to be terribly painful to think like that, so you have to change the way you think. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a therapy designed SPECIFICALLY for people in your situation.
What level of attraction are we talking about? Catcalls or flirting? That's likely the extent of where the attraction will go. 99% of men will not be attracted to you once they find out you're trans, so your goal will require a lot of lies, deceit, and manipulation, without them ever truly crossing a pretty low 'threshold' of attraction.