This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user posing as a detransitioner/desister. The comments are highly specific, contextually appropriate, and demonstrate a deep, professional understanding of mental health counseling, ethics, and the clinical guidelines surrounding gender care. The user's passion and criticism align with the expected viewpoint of a professional who is critical of the current affirmative care model, not someone LARPing as a detransitioner.
About me
I'm a counselor who saw the system fail people from the inside. I was trained to provide only "affirmative care," where exploring other reasons for someone's distress was considered unethical. This went against my core belief in trying the least drastic treatments first. I've seen profound harm come from rushing to transition as the only solution. Now, I advocate for a more cautious and comprehensive approach to care.
My detransition story
Of course. Here is a summary based on my experiences.
My journey with this didn't start with me, but with my work. I'm a licensed counselor, and my experience in the detransition community comes from watching a system I was a part of fail people. I never personally transitioned, but I've walked alongside many who have, and I've seen the profound harm that can happen when the only tool we're allowed to use is a hammer.
In my practice, I was trained that we are ethically required to provide "affirmative care." This means that if a client identifies as trans, our job is to affirm that identity and help them transition. To do anything else—like explore other reasons for their dysphoria, such as trauma, OCD, autism, or just the normal discomfort of puberty—is now considered "conversion therapy" and is banned. I was taught that offering any other treatment option was unethical and could cost me my license.
This always sat wrong with me. My entire training was based on using the "least restrictive intervention" possible. You don't jump to the most extreme, permanent solution first. You try therapy, you treat co-existing conditions like depression and anxiety, you provide family support, and you see if that helps. But with gender dysphoria, that
Top Comments by /u/Lady_Hawk_001:
IMHO this should all be considered malpractice and result in lawsuits. As a mental health professional, l was trained that we should use the "least restrictive intervention" needed to help. That means you don't try to hospitalize someone who just needs talk therapy, or put someone in an alternative school who might just need some extra support in the regular school, or sedate someone who just needs to be left alone a while to calm down...
...or recommend that a suidical teen get a mastectomy (!) instead of anti-depressants and psychotherapy (wtf?) And if they're still struggling then try intensive services in the home, or family based services, or partial hospital, inpatient if/when in imminent harm. And if there are so many kids struggling with this, where are the support groups? Call me crazy, but I thought we were supposed to try ALL these things before irreversible surgeries, or recommending life long hormone treatments that have little or no longitudinal research on this population.
WHY are we skipping all these available treatments and resources??? Affirmative care is experimental, these other treatments have established, researched backed, outcome measured standards behind them.
Have you looked into a lawsuit? If there's enough money in it, lawyers often work on a "contingency" basis where they charge you nothing up front and take a cut of whatever settlement you get.
I hate to say it, that may be the only thing that will out weigh the current political pressure on providers to follow the affirmative care model. I'm thankful to those who have taken this step. Also thankful for the NHS in the UK who have restored sanity to their protocols. I can only hope that other countries will follow suit, but fearful of how many others we will suffer in the meantime, because as it stands now, I can get sued and lose license if an attempt to challenge affirmative care is misconstrued as conversion therapy. Thankful also for the couple of organizations that have begun to publish standards and advocate for gender exploration vs. gender affirmation as the preferred first line of treatment.
Btw... are you getting any good counseling support to help cope with the grief, loss, and trauma that you have suffered?
To comment further on gender differences: Studies show a difference in how little boys and little girls relate socially in play as toddlers. Boys tend to play side by side with similar toys, girls face to face, interactiing with each other. (idk...Maybe trucks or dolls work better for different styles of play??). But there are many innate differences between genders that are biologically based, some having to do with hormones, others having to do with brain differences, skeletal structure, etc., just to name a few. Some of it is certainly socialized, but biology plays a big part too.
It's not a phobia if it's related to a traumatic experience. That's a symptom of PTSD.
This is concerning hearing about what happens on trans spaces. How bad is it with visitors being sexualized when they reach out with honest questions?? Are there any that are safe for kids?
Hello. I'm a Licensed Counselor from PA and I can tell you that medical and counseling professionals are often advised to offer Affirmative care as the treatment of choice, and may be fearful of doing anything else. To withhold affirmative care is now considered unethical. There's not much guidance as to when its appropriate to look for other causes or suggest other treatment options.
So be aware that once you ID as trans, Doc may feel obligated to offer only affirmative care. In my state we are permitted only to provide "Gender Exploration", or treatment for other co-occuring diagnoses (eg., trauma, anxiety, depression), but no other treatment for dysphoria other than Affirmative Care. Any attempt to change gender identity is now considered a type of Conversion Therapy (an attempt to change sexual orientation) which is of course banned.
So... not sure if this is helpful, but that may be why this was the only option offered.
The comment to "just be gay" to avoid rape by a behavioral health provider is not just creepy, it is a clear violation of professional ethics and should be reported to this person's licensing board for discipline. If you're not sure where to file a complaint, feel free to DM me with the person's credentials (just tell me what letters are behind her name) and I'll help direct you to the appropriate board.
The questions on the intake form for sexual orientation, however, are pretty standard these days so I would not take offense, although if you left it blank that should be followed up with a respectfully phrased question to clarify if this was an oversight, and not a presumption that you're any particular orientation (keeping in mind that in many electronic medical records systems, you can't leave it blank or the record won't save). The questions for pronouns are also becoming more common as well, for better or for worse.
Keep in mind that providers may be under pressure to comply with transgender pronouns , especially if they receive reimbursement from from government sources like Medicare/Medicaid, which are highly regulated, and also may want to avoid any EEOC complaints.
If you want to screen for trans ideology in a behavioral health provider, you can certainly ask directly about their treatment approach to Gender Dysphoria, and if they have a preference for Affirmative Care vs. Gender Exploration. If they have no idea what the difference is and launch into a slew of gender ideology talking points, you've got your answer.
Try this network and see if someone can at least meet with you virtually if not in your area:
Gender Exploratory Therapy Association
Even better, Genspect offers specific help for detransitioners:
Although I would agree that the twitterverse can be brutal and sometimes it's best to just take yourself out of the line of fire, if you want to jump in, you can probably find some reliable information to reference in the official WPATH Standards of Care document, which you can find online here:
https://www.wpath.org/media/cms/Documents/SOC%20v7/SOC%20V7_English.pdf
See pages 10 and 11, where they outline standards of care for children and adolescents, and specifically cite research that says most young kids with dysphoria will desist if there is no medical intervention. They do say that adolescents who are given puberty blockers are more likely to continue with a gender transition and/or reassignment surgery, although it's a concern for me that there is no control group cited to show how many adolescents would desist if they did not receive hormone blockers.
To be clear, I don't agree with everything WPATH says, but they are a recognized authority in Transgender care, so it might help you to be aware of the actual guidelines vs. what "TwitterCare" says (often based on pure emotion, without any real medical backing).
Here also is another medical reference site that takes a moderate (ie., more conservative) view on Transgender care:
And specifically, check out the articles on the closing of the Tavistock Center in England:
https://www.segm.org/GIDS-puberty-blockers-minors-the-times-special-report
See also Page 19 of the WPATH document, where it specifies the criteria to start adolescent puberty blockers.( I wonder how many destrans/desisters here actually met these criteria before proceeding?):
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Criteria for puberty suppressing hormones:
In order for adolescents to receive puberty suppressing hormones, the following minimum criteria must be met:
1. The adolescent has demonstrated a long-lasting and intense pattern of gender nonconformity or gender dysphoria (whether suppressed or expressed);
2. Gender dysphoria emerged or worsened with the onset of puberty;
3. Any co-existing psychological, medical, or social problems that could interfere with treatment (e.g., that may compromise treatment adherence) have been addressed, such that the adolescent’s situation and functioning are stable enough to start treatment;
4. The adolescent has given informed consent and, particularly when the adolescent has not reached the age of medical consent, the parents or other caretakers or guardians have consented to the treatment and are involved in supporting the adolescent throughout the treatment process.
[https://www.wpath.org/media/cms/Documents/SOC%20v7/SOC%20V7_English.pdf, p. 19]
The OCD is definitely a concern that could explain your struggles. I would address that to rule it out before taking steps to transition.
You said you don't have insurance but have had treatment for OCD before. Are there some strategies and coping skills you used in the past that you found helpful?
If you had medications in the past that were helpful, and they're fairly common scripts that have a generic, you might be able to get a PCP to prescribe. What country are you in and can you get primary care?