This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly specific, emotionally consistent, and reflects a common desister experience: identifying as trans in their early teens, grappling with internalized homophobia and trauma, and finding resolution through self-acceptance without medical intervention. The language is personal, nuanced, and lacks the repetitive or generic phrasing typical of inauthentic accounts.
About me
I was a young girl who felt deeply uncomfortable with my body when I started puberty, and I became convinced I was a trans man after being influenced online. I never medically transitioned, and I eventually realized my dysphoria was rooted in past trauma and internalized homophobia, not in actually wanting to be male. My biggest turning point was understanding that I didn't want to be a man; I just wanted to escape the pain of being me. Now, I'm comfortable being a woman again and see that my desire to transition was a form of escapism. I'm finally at peace as a gender non-conforming woman.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was really young, around 13. I was a girl who felt really uncomfortable with my body, especially when I started developing breasts. I hated them and felt ugly. I was bullied for looking masculine, which gave me really low self-esteem. I think a lot of my feelings were also tied to some not-good childhood events, which was a kind of trauma, and I had a lot of internalized homophobia about being a lesbian.
I got really influenced by what I saw online and I became fully convinced that I was a trans man and that I would never be happy unless I transitioned. I identified as a trans man for a few years during my early teens. I had really bad dysphoria and would have a full breakdown if someone called me "she." But I never medically transitioned because my family wasn't open to it, and in a way, I'm grateful for that now.
One of the biggest things that made me start to question was that I realized I didn't actually want to be a man. I didn't want to be around men, except for other trans guys. Even though I only liked women, the idea of being a straight guy didn't feel right to me at all. It felt like a huge turn-off when girls I dated expected me to act like a super macho "dom" guy. I related more to being gay, but I felt a lot of discomfort with being called a lesbian. I even made up a word for my sexuality, "gynesexual," because I had no other way to describe the conflict.
I started to understand that my dysphoria was probably caused by those bad childhood events and the internalized homophobia. Finding online communities that questioned this stuff was a huge help. It wasn't an immediate fix; it was a gradual process of caring less and less about the things I'd been convinced of. I slowly stopped identifying as a man. First, I went by "they," then only let close friends call me "she," and eventually, I had no problem being called a woman again.
Looking back, I see my desire to transition as a form of escapism. I thought becoming a "different person" as a "different sex" would separate me from my trauma, but it wasn't a healthy coping mechanism. I had high hopes of transitioning into a perfect, handsome guy because people made me feel ugly as a girl. I think a lot of young people are convinced to transition because they don't fit sex stereotypes, and instead of breaking those norms, they think they have to become the opposite sex.
I don't regret that I didn't medically transition. I think it's a mental illness and that people should try to cope with it through therapy and focusing on hobbies instead of hormones or surgery. I think you need to evaluate why you can't just be a feminine man or a masculine woman. You can be whoever you want to be regardless of your gender. Your interests and how you act don't have to be tied to your sex.
I don't have any regrets about my social transition because it led me to where I am now, which is comfortable being a woman who is just gender non-conforming. I think breaking sex stereotypes is a good thing, but the way it's being done now is wrong.
Here is a timeline of my events:
Age | Event |
---|---|
13 | Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty, hated my breasts and being seen as an ugly girl. Began identifying as a trans man. |
13-16 | Lived socially as a trans man online and with friends. Experienced severe social dysphoria. |
16 | Began to question my identity after realizing I didn't relate to men and felt uncomfortable with the expectations of being a "straight guy." |
17 | Started using they/them pronouns as a stepping stone. Began to understand the role of trauma and internalized homophobia. |
18 | Stopped identifying as trans and became comfortable again with being called a woman and using she/her pronouns. |
Top Comments by /u/LavenderProud:
I’m not sure how old you are, but I’m almost 19 and I used to struggle with dysphoria heavily during half of my teen years. Today, I no longer do.
I was one of those people who would have a full on breakdown over being called she. It only started to go away once I realized the likely reasoning that caused my dysphoria (mainly a few really-not-good childhood events and internalized homophobia). Had I not looked into subreddits like this, I probably would’ve still been miserable and intensely dysphoric. It wasn’t immediate after I found places like this that it went away, it was a gradual process of caring less and less about all the bullshit that was fed to me (I was fully convinced I would never be happy unless I transitioned). I didn’t immediately be ok with being called she, so for a while I went by they, then they with only close friends being able to call me she, then eventually I had no problem anymore being called she.
You can still be whoever you want regardless of gender. You don’t have to be the opposite sex to be the person you want to be. Your interests, mannerisms, hairstyle, and fashion do not have to coincide with the stereotypes of your sex.
r/GenderCritical is a good sub imo. It seems dysphoria and transitioning is becoming very common in our generation. I’ve had and still talk to friends who are trans, and a lot of the time they like to discount my story as me “”just not being a real trans person””. It especially hurts when I hear stories about 12 or 13 year olds identifying as trans, even worse when their parents decide to start transitioning them at such a young age.
I’m not saying this to be mean, but it is a mental illness. I think you should try coping with it through therapy and focusing on hobbies, instead of hormones or surgery. Finding the right therapist may be hard though, since a lot of them these days try to push hormones and surgery.
Even though you are an adult, you’re still very young and hormones and surgery will have permanent effects on your body. And if you were to go through with hormones and surgery, but still don’t pass well, it’ll just make you feel even worse about yourself.
I think you should really evaluate why you can’t be a feminine man instead of wanting to be a woman. There’s nothing wrong with being a feminine man and I think you need to come to terms with it and accept yourself as a man. You can do anything and like anything you want, while still being a man. This may seem all very obvious but if you truly subconsciously believed the fact you can be feminine while being a man, then you wouldn’t want to transition.
Older people are still suspectible to it since they have way more rigid ideas on how men and women should act. Younger people are convinced by it because they’re raised by the older generations who think of gender so rigidly. And younger people also think “gender can be anything you want, gender has nothing to do with sex” and while I think breaking sex stereotypes is a good thing, they go about it in the wrong way. Saying they’re the opposite sex solely because of not fitting sex stereotypes is the exact opposite of breaking gender norms.
There are other factors too like trauma and mental illness. Some people transition because being a “different sex”, being a “different person”, makes them separated from their trauma (but I don’t think this is a healthy coping mechanism).
Having low self esteem and being bullied for “looking masculine as a girl” was also a big thing for me. Even though people made me feel ugly as a girl, I had high hopes of transitioning into a perfect, handsome guy.
If you want short hair, go for it, there are a lot of women who rock it. If you don’t like your breasts, that’s fine. A lot of women don’t. You can look into clothing and safe ways to appear flatter. You can still want the appearance of a flat chest even as a woman. Try to befriend some gender non-conforming women and their confidence as a gender non-conforming woman may rub off on you as well.
Ik this was directed at the OP but I just wanted to add: I never medically transitioned since my family was not open to it and I only identified as a transman during my early teens, but I 100% felt this too. One of the biggest factors in making me realize I wasn’t a man was that I didn’t want to be around men (except other transmen). I also felt being a “straight guy” didn’t suit me, despite wanting to be a guy so badly and only liking women, if that makes sense? I related more to being gay, in the sense of liking women, but I felt discomfort with being called a female and discomfort being called a lesbian while I identified as a transman. I even started calling myself “gynesexual” since I had no way else to describe it. I didn’t act at all like most straight men, and I dated a few girls my age when I identified as trans and they always expected me to act super intensely macho “dom” and whatnot and it was such a huge turn-off.