This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user demonstrates:
- Personal, detailed history: They share specific, lived experiences with transition, detransition, and body changes over many years.
- Consistent perspective: Their view is consistently critical of transition as a solution while advocating for moving beyond gender obsession, which aligns with common detransitioner narratives.
- Emotional nuance: Comments show a range of emotions (anger, regret, encouragement, personal growth) and offer supportive, practical advice to others, which is complex for a bot to replicate convincingly.
The passion and criticism present are consistent with a genuine detransitioner who feels harmed by their experience.
About me
I started transitioning at 18 to escape my female body after experiencing trauma, fueled by an unrealistic fantasy of being a man. I took testosterone and bound my chest for years, which caused permanent physical changes I now regret. My entire life became an obsession with gender until I realized it was a coping mechanism, not my true self. I stopped focusing on how I was perceived and instead built a fulfilling life through my career and mental health. I am now a 30-year-old woman, at peace in my body and happily married, having finally discovered who I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started from a place of deep pain. I wanted to escape being female because my female body had been assaulted multiple times. I see now that my desire to transition was a coping mechanism for that trauma. I was also diagnosed with BPD, which for me is deeply tied to that trauma.
I started my transition around 2012 when I was 18. I wasn't thinking about my future at all. I had this very unrealistic, idealized version of maleness in my head that I’d gotten from yaoi anime and manga. I fetishized gay male relationships and wanted to be this cute, twink emo boy that got all the gay male attention. It was a form of escapism from my reality and my own body. I hated my breasts and wore a binder constantly for about four years, from 2012 until 2016.
I took testosterone for a while, though I don't remember the exact dates. It changed my body, and after I stopped, my breasts grew a lot, from an A cup to a C cup, and they became very saggy from the years of binding. For a long time in my late twenties, I felt disgusted and ashamed of my body because of that.
My entire life became about gender. I was obsessed with it and measured my entire self-worth on how I was perceived. I deleted almost all of my old childhood photos, pictures of me as a little girl in dresses, because they didn't fit the persona I was trying to create. I even have photos with my late grandma where I'm in "full dude mode" with a mustache, binding my chest. I used to hate those pictures, but now I see them as a part of my story.
What finally changed for me was realizing that I had given gender too much power over my life. The day I understood that I couldn't control how other people perceived me, something clicked. I decided to focus only on what I could control. I deleted all my social media, ditched the whole "being trans is my whole personality" thing, and poured my energy into my career, learning new things, my mental health, going to the gym, eating better, and improving my social skills. I started building a life with things I could take real pride in.
Once I found fulfillment in things that had nothing to do with gender, I finally discovered who I was as a person. My body became just my body, as natural as having arms or lungs. I stopped filtering my selfies into oblivion and started wearing clothes because they felt nice, not because they were trendy. Now, at 30, I can even walk around my house naked and feel sexy. My husband loves me and my body just as it is.
I do have regrets. I regret the permanent changes to my body, like the sagging in my breasts. I regret deleting those old photos of myself as a child. I regret not being more honest with myself from the beginning about the trauma and unhealthy fantasies that were driving me.
My thoughts on gender now are that we give it too much importance. The media and online spaces can push people, especially masculine lesbian women, into thinking they need to transition. I think we need to be more honest about the real reasons people desire to transition, because that conversation could save lives. For me, it was never really about gender dysphoria; it was about trauma, escapism, and a low self-esteem that latched onto an unrealistic ideal.
I am now comfortable living as a woman. I'm heterosexual and married to a man. I've found peace by letting go of the obsession and building a life I love.
Age | Year | Event |
---|---|---|
18 | 2012 | Started social transition, began binding my chest. |
18 | 2012 | Started taking testosterone. |
22 | 2016 | Stopped binding after 4 years. |
22 | 2016 | Stopped taking testosterone. |
30 | 2024 | Now living detransitioned, at peace as a woman. |
Top Comments by /u/Leo3Wo:
Don't you love how "gender is a social thing" but somehow a person liking things considered traditionally for the opposite gender makes you trans? They specifically seem to target so hard tomboy lesbians. Like I don't see them pushing the trans thing into RuPaul's contestants but the moment a woman is wearing baggy clothes and is openly lesbian they need her to get on T right away. The media can't stand masculine homosexual women and I find that disturbing af.
I mean, I don't think you can blame her. A lot of people are going the non binary route these days that even if she was aware you used to be trans she really can't know your gender status just by looking at you or the way you dress. This is the world we live in, no matter if we like it or not. Is it really that hard to just say "Hey! Now I go by name you are using now" and that's it? You don't need to educate anyone on anything. If she heard your trans name once and remembered forever it also means she probably gonna remember whatever name you give her now. I think she is just being very friendly. Let's not assume the worst with people. I think we all did that enough while going through transition.
First of all is amazing that you have found yourself even after years of going under T. It must have been a really tough decision and I applaud you for not letting anything to stop you from giving the chance to your body to heal.
Second is not that subtle at all! Your face already looks a lot softer, your eyes are looking much more round and cute. It is brutal how fast the body gets back to normal!
You are doing great!! Keep us posted on your progress please! And I wish you nothing but the best in this process.
I mean it is not an opinion people are comfortable with but I think gender disforia should also be classified as a coping mechanism for trauma. I wanted to be male to escape a female body that was assaulted multiple times. BPD is also a trauma related mental health issue (I'm aware not 100% of the cases are but still). I think people should start being more honest about what made them desire to transition in the first place. Cause this is a conversation that could save lives.
I'm really sorry to know that even after a lifetime of transitioning you haven't been able to find peace and comfort. I'm not near your age and probably there isn't much I can offer you as advice but talking from my own experience one thing that made life much easier was to stop giving gender that much power over my life. I was obsessed and measured my whole value on it. The day I understood that the way people perceived me was not under my control something made a click in my mind and suddenly started to focus only on what was under my control. Deleted all social media, ditched the whole "being trans is my whole personality" and started to put my time and energy on what was actually under my control: compromising much more with my career, learning new things, working on my mental health, going to the gym and eating better, going to regular medical check ups and improve my social skills. Then if people called me miss, sir or whatever wasn't important anymore. I had so many new things to care so deeply about! And by taking pride in those things, I redefined myself. Once I found fulfilment and joy in things non related at all to gender issues I discovered who I was as a person. And suddenly what I had between my legs was as natural as having arms or lungs. It is so refreshing and gives so much freedom to just accept what you have with actual gratitude! I wish you the best for what may come in the future, you deserve happiness, peace of mind and joy.
I sadly deleted a lot of my memories during my transition like photos of my childhood where I was wearing dresses or looking like a little girl. Now I take lots of care of my photos even if taken in sad or hard times. My last photos with my grandma were during my transition, I don't care anymore if I'm in full dude mode with a mustache binding to oblivion. That is a part of my past. I took a path that brought me to who I am today. I don't glorify it at all but I recognize it happened. I encourage you to keep them where they can't hurt you if you are not ready to have them near but that you can have them back once you heal emotionally. It took me years but I'm sure it is also going to happen to you eventually.
Respectfully, why would you need to go that far so soon? Most people don't have any idea what detransition means and probably most of them just think you are saying you are MtF in some weird complex way. If you have your female anatomy intact is no one's business until things get more serious what kind of past do you have. Would you disclose each of the medical conditions you had through life to someone you just met? Cause is basically he same thing.
I personally think part of going out of the whole transition persona and start living as who we actually are, is to also stop obsessing with gender issues, to live freely and ditching the "trans is my personality" stereotype most of us went through. Why more labeling and overcomplicating things again?
I don't think it is dysphoria nor envy as is. But mostly like this feeling of wanting to have a very idealized version of the male experience. The thing is, I never transitioned in the first place with the future in mind at all. I wanted to be this twink emo cute boy that gets all the gay male attention. I was very young and had this 13yo face still at 18. I was obsessed with very ridiculous portraits of homosexual masculinity that you can find in yaoi anime and manga and stuff like that. I fetishized the whole experience a lot. So whenever I find myself dreaming about that I also have to remind myself that at this point in my life I would probably be looking more like Homer Simpson if I was male presenting (I have Hashimoto and take mental health medication so I'm overweight and loosing hair all the time) and that the kind of relationship I was expecting to get where gay DILFs kill each other to have a piece was never going to happen in the first place. So I actually learned to be realistic and honest, right now even with the consequences of T and the weight issues I still consider myself an attractive woman, I enjoy my sexuality as one and I have a husband that loves me deeply and I would never give up those things to fulfill a stupid teenage fetish that doesn't even reflect a possible reality.
Girl you are doing well! But I think you could use some stuff to make the look more fem if you are comfortable with presenting as more girly. Big earrings can make the short hair look classy and feminine as fuck. Think Rihanna or Miley Cyrus short hair era. I don't think anyone needs makeup to look like a woman but you could use some minor details that softens the look like getting your nails done (even if it is a super simple french manicure, it doesn't need to be the 3 inches red nails), moisturize and wear chapstick, get your brows done, like the femininity is on the details. Also bandanas look super cool with that short hair, like in a rockabilly style kind of way.
Same here. I started my transition around 2012, and wore a binder for 4 years until 2016. My breasts are completely saggy. After going off of T, I got like the last development thingy going on and they grew a lot. Went from an A cup to a C one. So they even hang much more now. I spent my mid to late twenties feeling so disgusted and ashamed of that, even though my husband says he likes them the way they are. Now at 30 honestly I couldn't care less. It is like at this point in my life all the things that used to seem so important aren't anymore. I stopped filtering my selfies to oblivion, I started to wear clothes because they feel nice instead of because that is what is trending. And I can go around my house completely naked feeling sexy af. I don't really have a guide on how to get to this point, maybe aging makes you less vulnerable to the media telling us all the time how we should look. But I can tell you that as time goes by you probably gonna grow out of that complex. If not, well I'm not a super advocate of plastic surgery but I have been told it is fixable.