This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a fake persona. The comments show:
- Consistent, detailed personal history: The user shares specific, consistent details about their transition (MTF, ages 16-20/21, specific medications like Spironolactone, minimal breast growth) and detransition over several years.
- Complex emotional introspection: The comments explore nuanced motivations (rejection of male puberty, opposition to a father, desire for attention) and complex feelings about dating, sexuality, and identity that read as genuine personal reflection.
- Natural evolution of thought: The views expressed develop over time, from initial confusion to retrospective analysis, which is typical of a real person processing a significant life experience.
The passion and criticism present are consistent with the stated context of someone who has experienced harm and stigma.
About me
I started my transition at 16, partly to rebel against my dad and escape male puberty. I realized later I was just performing an idea of womanhood to get male attention, confusing my submissive sexuality for being female. I slowly detransitioned over a year and a half, which was harder than transitioning in the first place. Now, I’m a 24-year-old man who is finally comfortable being myself, a bisexual guy who can even still carry a purse if I want. I learned that changing my gender wasn't the answer; I just needed to understand my own feelings.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started when I was a teenager, around 16. I was really confused and uncomfortable with the idea of going through a male puberty. I was rejecting what my body had planned for me. A big part of my reasoning was also tied up with my dad; he was very combative about the whole subject, and I think I got wrapped up in opposing him. It felt like a rebellion.
I started my medical transition officially at 16. I was on a testosterone blocker for two years, and for one of those years, I was also on estrogen. I didn't have any surgeries. Looking back, I realize I was acting the entire time. I was basing my idea of being a woman on male perspectives of female qualities. I’d see women I found attractive and feel a need to imitate them because I also desperately wanted male attention in the way they could get it. I had this deep desire to be what I thought of as "slutty," but I had always associated that with being for women only. So, in my mind, to act that way, I had to become a woman.
I fell into some kink communities just by being in that subset of the trans community. I don't think the kink caused my transition, but it definitely kept me in it longer than I would have stayed otherwise. I became friends with people and would even pick up their speech patterns and mannerisms without realizing it, and then drop them just as quickly when we stopped hanging out. It showed me how much I was just performing.
Around age 20, I snapped out of what I now see as delusions. I started to realize that my feelings weren't really about being a woman. A lot of it was about my sexuality. I’m a bisexual man with a preference for men, and I have a very submissive nature. I had convinced myself that because I was submissive and wanted male attention, I must be a woman. I thought the only way I could be with a woman was if she was the dominant one who pursued me, and that felt like an impossible thing to find, so I only ever been intimate with men.
The process of detransitioning was slow and difficult. It took me about a year and a half, and for most of that time, I hadn't even admitted to anyone that I had decided to detransition. I didn't want to make a big, sudden change. Coming out as detrans was harder than coming out as trans in the first place, especially the longer you've been transitioned.
Physically, going off hormones was a lesson in patience. My body didn't change back overnight. My beard, which comes from a family of men who can grow them easily, started to fill in properly again. I had developed small breasts from the estrogen, barely A-cups, which sometimes cause me discomfort now, like when I want to go swimming. I had to really push myself, with the encouragement of a friend, to just go shirtless and accept that I am a man and nobody is going to care about my chest.
I don’t regret transitioning in the sense that I needed to go through it to understand myself. But I do see it as a period of being lost. I benefited greatly from my psychiatrist. At first, he was very affirming, but when I started expressing doubt, he became neutral and would ask me about my current views on gender. That questioning was really important for me to figure things out on my own.
Now, at 24, I’m much more honest with my feelings. I’ve hooked up with a guy since detransitioning who I’d also been with when I was living as a trans woman, and he was just as respectful. He even liked my new chest hair, which was a nice feeling. I’m more comfortable in myself. I even still use the denim purse I had from when I was transitioning because I like it, and that’s okay. My thoughts on gender now are that it’s not the solution to discomfort with puberty or to figuring out your sexuality. For me, it was an escape from dealing with those things directly.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Began medical transition (started testosterone blockers). |
| 17 | Started taking estrogen in addition to blockers. |
| 18 | Stopped taking estrogen after approximately one year. |
| 20 | Stopped testosterone blockers and began the process of detransitioning. Realized the transition was based on delusions. |
| 20-21 | Slowly and privately navigated detransition over a year and a half. |
| 24 | Current age, living as a male and reflecting on the journey. |
Top Comments by /u/LillianVJ:
Ngl I really embraced this by keeping my purse from when I was still mid transition. It's actually such a wonderful little purse made of denim, not much space but then again I don't carry much in the first place.
The only thing I worry about now is how close the thing is to falling apart 😭 I've already had to repair it a few times in the roughly 8 years I've had it
So, despite being in a similar transition situation to you(began transition at 16 and ended 21) I don't entirely know how it is finding clothes for men as a plus size guy being a naturally thin person, but on the beard front I find that more or less a beard is down to two main things; genetics and baseline t levels. Being from a family of men who couldn't not grow a beard if they tried (which is also the same for me) however I found that during my time on T blockers and estrogen my beard would be far slower to grow and far patchier and just not good looking, but once I gave up the hrt it filled in very quickly.
Another point of interest in terms of t levels is your weight. I'm going to be completely honest here and say that it's pretty well known that being overweight is a huge factor in low testosterone for men, and working to reduce your weight as much as is reasonable for you would help a lot IMO
I know for myself, there was a deeply held desire to I guess be "slutty" but I'd for my entire life until then associated that with being for women only, so to be and act that way I'd have to become a woman. And pretty quickly during the transition I ended up falling into a lot of kink stuff more or less just by proximity because I'd begun mingling in that sort of subset of the trans community. I wouldn't say the kink actually contributed much to me beginning my transition, but it definitely held me in longer than I'd otherwise have stayed
Although I only was on hrt for a year (mtf) I definitely can agree that the 'coming out again' process is a very difficult one, and more so the longer you've transitioned for. You certainly don't have to do everything in a short time, and it would probably be best not to try to. My own detransition took around a year and a half, most of which I hadn't even admitted to anyone I was decided on it, so don't feel like you need to make this into a big and sudden change, but ease yourself into the decision
Personally, I found my psychiatrist to be exactly what's described in the post, initially almost all I was given was affirmation, but once I'd begun expressing doubt and discomfort, he quickly changed to a very neutral role and often will ask about my current view on my gender, I'd there's been any changes and so on. I feel as if there's some duty within him to allow those who he sees as possibly trans to explore such an opportunity, and then discover for themself if it's right for them, if anyone is wondering specifics, I am with Dr Reiche of Alberta Canada. I've remained with him ever since I began medical transition and intend to stay with him as long as is possible to ensure that detrans individuals are not a complete outlier
Frankly I've felt and still do feel similarly around trans women, especially when I notice things I used to do as a transfem in their daily mannerisms.
it puts me into the mindset my father had whenever he said things I hated hearing as a transfem, in that I fucking hated hearing that I was being excessive with my skimpy clothes, or that I was acting like a self centered twat purely out of the single minded desire to "be my own person" which couldn't be further from the truth.
I was acting during my entire transition and all I had to base my goal off of was male perspectives on female qualities half the time it was because I found women around me attractive and thus felt a need to imitate them because I on the same hand also wanted desperately male attention in the way they could get it.
I'm in a pretty similar situation to yours, though I'm a fair ways down the stream at 24 currently and having done my transition from ages 16-20. Depending on how long you were on the hormones, things will reasonably go towards the masculine end of development.
Having to exert a pretty high level of patience with my body is something that returning to being a man has taught me, it didn't all happen at once and to expect it to do so is only going to leave a sour taste in your mouth. I personally was on estrogen for just under a year total, but was on Spironolactone (I think I spelled that right) for two years, one of those without any estrogen which more than likely is why I was so heavily out of whack at that point in my life.
All things considered I didn't get an incredible amount of breast tissue from the whole ordeal, but it definitely is still enough to occasionally cause me some discomfort, particularly around swimming activities where I get unsure if I can even dare go shirtless for it, thankfully I had also reconnected with a childhood friend of mine who was more than encouraging enough to get me over the hump and just go swimming shirtless because I am a man and I can do this. Nobody is going to care enough about me and my A cup chest to confront me about it.
Yeah, this is something I've always had to grapple with even in my teen/transition phase, is that no matter how much I try to not act like I will act romantically, I don't fit the role of a straight guy who can pick up women who want to be picked up. I fully accept that my best chance at a girlfriend is a woman who fulfills the role of pursuer, and that if I don't find a way around my nature, I'll be stuck with dominant men who enjoy my submissive nature.
That doesn't make me a woman, that makes me a bisexual with a preference for males, but an undeniable desire to be with a woman (provided she meets the social role I cannot). And this being the case, it's obvious why I've only ever been intimate with men, because as a submissive male I inevitably am searching for a minority of a minority in a dominant woman
As much as it can feel 'unnecessary' and like you're repeating things we've all heard, but truly it doesn't matter. The act of sitting down and reflecting on yourself in this way is a good thing.
I actually had a fairly similar experience with transition though I did have slightly more accepting family and got my hrt the "official" way. Roughly around age 20 was when I snapped out of my delusions. We may all be well familiar with these struggles, but don't let that be a reason not to speak on yourself
Honestly the only time I ever encountered women like you describe is when I was full on transitioning. So while yes I totally agree women of my preference exist, I just don't fully know how to meet them as a man, and not how I used to meet them, as a trans woman who envied the fuck out of whoever they chose to be intimate with but lacked the courage to say liked them and would enjoy a date at the least