This story is from the comments by /u/Liminal_exp that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "Liminal_exp" appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments display a highly consistent, deeply personal, and nuanced long-term perspective spanning over 30 years. The user shares specific, traumatic experiences (e.g., surgical complications, identity theft, workplace outing, financial cost) and evolving feelings that are complex and difficult to fabricate convincingly. The advice is detailed, repetitive in its themes (long-term health, financial, and social costs), and reflects the passionate, cautionary stance typical of someone who feels harmed by their transition. The narrative of starting in the early 1990s and the subsequent disillusionment with the modern trans movement is coherent and plausible.
About me
I started transitioning in the 90s because, as a feminine gay man in a homophobic town, it felt like the only way to escape shame. I spent a fortune on hormones and over fifteen surgeries, living for twenty years in constant fear of being discovered. Now in my 50s, I'm facing serious health problems from the hormones and the exhausting, expensive upkeep of my appearance. I realize my transition was a traumatic escape, and I deeply regret the permanent changes and the life I lost. I've stopped estrogen and started testosterone, hoping to find a more authentic path forward while living with the consequences of my decisions.
My detransition story
My journey with transition began in the early 1990s, when I was in my early twenties. I was born male and grew up in a small, conservative town during the AIDS crisis. Being gay never felt like an option; it was met with such derision and homophobia that I felt I had to repress that part of myself. I tried to be straight, but that didn't work either. I didn't necessarily want to be a woman, but transitioning felt like a way to finally fit in and stop hiding my natural behaviors and interests. It was a solution to the internalised homophobia and the shame I felt.
I started taking cross-sex hormones around the age of 25. The process back then was difficult and required a lot of evaluation; it wasn't encouraged or easy to access. I went through a formal clinical program and had to prove I could live as a woman before being approved for any surgeries. I ended up having over fifteen surgical procedures, including facial feminization surgery, breast implants, and ultimately, bottom surgery. I spent a small fortune—well over a hundred thousand dollars—on my transition over the decades.
For about twenty years, I lived my life and mostly assimilated. I could "pass" and just went about my business. But the cracks started to show as I got older. The reality of a trans life is that it doesn't get easier with time; it gets harder. I constantly lived in fear of being outed. That fear became a reality early on when a man at my job recognized me from an old yearbook photo and called out my old name over the company intercom. I had to quit that job because of how others treated me afterward.
Aging as a trans woman brought a whole new set of problems. Beauty standards for women are harsh, and trying to maintain a feminine appearance became a constant, expensive battle. I had to get facial surgery again in my 50s to combat the masculinizing effects of aging. I’ve had to deal with serious health complications from long-term hormone use. I developed osteoporosis and wake up in pain every day. I have to be incredibly careful to avoid falls. I’ve had to take drugs with black box cancer warnings to treat my bone density issues, and now I’m facing a new medication that carries a risk of "cardiovascular death." My bones are like those of an elderly person.
The financial cost has been staggering, and I’ve had to work a job I don't like just to pay for the ongoing maintenance—surgeries need revisions, implants need replacing. There’s no end to it. Beyond the money, the emotional cost has been immense. I lost almost all my friends and alienated myself from my family, except for my closest relatives. My dating pool became tiny. I couldn't let new people get close because I was always hiding this huge part of my history. I deceived so many people.
My doubts about transition began around 2015. The trans movement had radically changed from when I started. It seemed to explode, and suddenly it felt like everyone was being encouraged to transition without any of the careful evaluation I went through. I saw children and teens being medically transitioned, and it shocked me. The safeguards were gone. I started to see it as a form of social contagion. The movement became more about ideology than about helping individuals, and it made me question everything I had done. I began to feel like I had been part of something that was causing real harm.
I now believe my transition was heavily influenced by trauma, internalised homophobia, and a desperate desire to escape the shame of being a feminine gay man. I grew up around a lot of misandry; the women I was close to would complain about men and share traumatic experiences they'd had. It made it hard to identify with being a man. I think if I had grown up in a more accepting environment, or if someone had just told me it was okay to be a feminine man, I might never have gone down this path. Transition wasn't a cure; it was an escape that created a whole new set of problems.
I have deep regrets about transitioning. If I could go back, I would tell my younger self to find a neutral therapist, to work on those underlying issues of shame and self-hatred, and to try to find a community where I could be accepted as a gay man. The idea that you can be a gay man and still be yourself, without conforming to stereotypes, is something I wish I had understood. Transition should be an absolute last resort, not something pushed by affirming-only therapists.
Now, in my 50s, I am exploring detransition. I’ve stopped estrogen and have started testosterone injections in the hope of improving my health and mental clarity. I know I can't go back to who I was, but I want to find a way to live more authentically. My body is permanently changed, and I have to live with the health and financial consequences of that for the rest of my life.
Looking back, I see my journey as a cautionary tale. I benefited from non-affirming therapy in the sense that the rigorous process I went through probably prevented even more people from making a mistake, but the lack of long-term follow-up from my clinicians was a major failure. They never checked in on the long-term mental or physical effects. My hope in sharing this is that others will seriously consider all the risks, costs, and long-term realities before making any permanent decisions.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| Early 20s | Early 1990s | Began social transition. |
| 25 | ~1990 | Started cross-sex hormones. |
| 25 | ~1990 | Underwent bottom surgery. |
| 30 | ~1995 | Had facial feminization surgery (FFS) and facial implants. |
| 50s | ~2020 | Underwent further facial surgery due to aging. |
| 50s | 2020 | Switched to bio-identical hormones due to bone density issues. |
| 50s | 2024 | Stopped estrogen; began testosterone injections and started exploring detransition. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/Liminal_exp:
As someone who has osteoporosis, it really makes me very sad that these kids being put on blockers are going to experience the same things I do at some point and even younger than when I began to have problems. I wake up in pain everyday, have to be very careful about falls and am have to limit in what I do unless I want to experience even more pain. I have taken meds for it that have black box cancer warnings and am supposed to start a new one that includes jaw osteonecrosis and severe bone pain as possible side effects. Insurance does not cover most of the newer ones either and they are in the $1000 to $1500 a month range. Seems like there is a lot of money to be made selling drugs that cause problems and later selling drugs to treat the problems the first one caused.
This sort of thing is so disturbing... I saw a television ad not too long ago where a mother was in support of trans things because her daughter liked to play with trucks, so that must mean she is a boy. I was dumbfounded. The harm this sort of attitude is causing is unbelievable. Encouraging someone to be trans seems similar to encouraging them to become a drug addict (which they will be in a way if they go very far with it)...
It really is. I had one recently reply to me that tried to claim there were no health risks if monitored by a doctor...
I originally created an account to warn about the long term effects since there are not many that have been doing this for as long as I have, but was met with 'life saving medicine!" and my experience meant nothing. All I was trying to do was to create awareness and get them to consider their future when doing it, but ended up deleting the account.
I began taking cross sex hormones by age 25 and have done that for over 30 years at this point. I have a number of health issues from doing that. Osteoporosis is a major problem and I am in pain daily from it. I can barely move a ladder without being in pain at this point. I also have cardiac concerns and "brain fog" that started with going to the bio type of hormones. Add in loss of strength and ability to do things that are easy for men of my age. I am actually taking T now with the hope I could live long enough to try for an early retirement in a couple of years...
Another thing to consider is what aging will do to your appearance and how you will deal with that. I had facial surgery a couple of years ago to offset looking more masculine from aging and did not need it when I was younger as I started out on the feminine side. I have to deal with the sames issues as women do with aging, but with added difficulty.
Basically, everything about trying to live a trans life only gets harder with time. If it is hard now, think about what the future will be like. I wish I had never went down this path...
If you have any doubts at all, I would at least postpone for a couple of months if not cancel as there is no going back from surgery and you will have to live with your decision for the rest of your life. Most of the professionals these days seem to be be of the affirmation type only and do not mention all of the risks, so I would not trust any that are that way. Any reasonable therapist should question why you want to do this and explore any and all issues such as autism first. They are afraid to do anything but affirm it seems.
Please look up all of the possible negative outcomes for this and losing the ability to breastfeed is a big one. You are still quite young, so there is zero reason to rush into such things. Talk to others that have been down this path and regretted it later. Feeling worse is a good sign that you are on the wrong path.
The part where your trans friends would take issue with you asking people in this sub is disturbing as you need to be fully informed and look at different perspectives. It was a great idea that you posted your question here.
What really gets me is the lack of follow up I had. I went through a clinical program when it was very difficult and rare and I had to prove I could do it. I was approved for surgery eventually and that seemed to be the end of it in their eyes. I would have thought that they would monitored me to observe the long term mental and physical health effects of doing this and to see how well it worked overall to assist in how to treat others in the future.
That describes my experience from the early 1990's quite accurately. I had never met any others until I went to a surgeon that specialized in trans surgeries and he had set up a group home for recovery. Out of around ten - twelve or so that I came across, there was one FTM (that stayed elsewhere) and only one MTF I would consider to be non-AGP. It was as shocking and disturbing experience as I expected others like myself and instead found much older and larger men that I later learned were AGP. That experience led me to avoid anything trans related in real life ever since.
So sorry this happened to you... I can't help but think some of those that push for easy access to hormones and surgery are going to find themselves in the same situation someday when these things take their toll and they look back at what their life could have been.
I find that so strange, since I would celebrate anyone escaping trans and support them. But then again, my journey began in the early 90's when things were different. I am "beyond transition" myself and hate to see others get to the point where they cannot escape.
One of the most capable people I have met is a lesbian that installs and repairs very expensive machines and she is just as good as the guys. She has a wife and kids too and is no less than any of the men she works with. She is also a lot of fun at parties from what I am told.
Please don't think that going trans is the answer. It can just add to life's problems and can lead to regret in the future. Especially for you since you don't feel that way or want to do it. The culture these days really encourages people to go trans without considering what is best for a person, so please keep that in mind.