This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's writing is nuanced, personal, and emotionally consistent. They demonstrate a genuine internal conflict, are actively seeking therapy, and show a thoughtful evolution in their thinking (e.g., considering reduction over full mastectomy). Their detailed knowledge of surgical risks and complications aligns with the deep, personal research a genuine desister would do.
About me
I was born female and started hating my developing breasts as a teenager, feeling they were foreign and wrong on my body. I got swept up in online communities that celebrated top surgery as a simple fix, and I nearly pursued a full mastectomy. Finding this forum was a wake-up call, revealing the serious risks and complications I never knew about. Now, I'm considering a radical reduction instead and am committed to therapy to understand the root of my discomfort. I'm grateful I found this support before making a permanent decision I might have regretted.
My detransition story
My journey with my body and the idea of transition has been a long and complicated one, and it’s only recently that I feel like I’m seeing things more clearly. I was born female and for a long time, I hated my breasts. Looking down at my chest filled me with a deep sense of wrongness and discomfort. They felt like two foreign sacks that didn't belong on my body, especially since my overall build is pretty rectangular and petite, with my shoulders and hips being almost the same width. One was even noticeably bigger than the other, which just added to my dislike.
This feeling started around puberty and never really went away. I spent a lot of time in online trans and non-binary spaces, where everyone was so excited and supportive of transition. The stories I saw about top surgery were all from super happy people, and the procedure was presented as almost minor, with just a bit of healing time. I got swept up in that excitement and started leaning heavily towards getting a full double mastectomy to create a masculine chest. I thought it was the only way to fix what felt so wrong.
But then I found this detrans community, and it was like a bucket of cold water. People here talked about the real, ugly parts of these surgeries that no one else would mention. I learned that a double mastectomy is a major surgery with a high complication rate—things like infections, nipple necrosis, and dog ears. I read about people losing sensation entirely or dealing with chronic pain. Someone even mentioned a nipple falling off in the shower. I had no idea about any of this. I legitimately thought it was a simpler procedure. I also realized that almost no one passes as cis with just top surgery; it takes testosterone, often facial surgery, and more. Looking into bottom surgery photos and seeing the high complication rates really sealed it for me—that path was not for me.
This community also made me think about alternatives. A lot of people here talked about breast reduction as an option, and that idea really stuck with me. I started to wonder if my problem wasn't with having a chest at all, but with having a chest that felt disproportionately large and out of place on my frame. The idea of a radical reduction to a very small size, like an AAA, started to feel like a much safer and more reasonable solution. The risk of it growing back seemed low since I'm in my 30s with no plans for pregnancy, and revisions would be easier. It would preserve more sensation and had fewer risks.
Most importantly, I decided I needed to really understand why I felt this way before doing anything permanent. I shotgunned messages to a dozen therapists because I knew I needed a professional, outside perspective to push me hard and ask the tough questions. I didn't want someone who would just tell me what I wanted to hear; I wanted someone to challenge me. I needed to explore if there was a way to feel at least neutral about my body without changing it. Maybe my hatred was tied to something else, like body dysmorphia or just the discomfort of puberty that never got resolved.
I don't regret exploring transition because it led me to ask these deep questions, but I am so grateful I found this community before making any irreversible decisions. The fantastical thinking in some online spaces can be dangerous because it glosses over the real risks and realities. I’m now leaning towards a reduction, but I’m committed to working through this in therapy first. My thoughts on gender now are that it's a very personal and complex thing, and medical intervention is a huge step that shouldn't be taken without fully understanding the consequences and your own motivations. For me, it seems my issue was less about gender and more about specific body discomfort.
Here is a timeline of my journey so far:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early Teens (Puberty) | Started feeling intense discomfort and hatred toward my developing breasts. |
| Late 20s / Early 30s | Spent significant time in online trans/non-binary communities, considering a full double mastectomy. |
| 33 | Found the detrans community online and learned about the significant risks and complications of top surgery. Began seriously considering a radical breast reduction as a safer alternative. |
| 33 | Started contacting therapists to seek non-affirming therapy to deeply explore the root causes of my body discomfort before making any surgical decisions. |
Top Comments by /u/Limp_Dragonfly_1941:
Oh no. :( I'm sorry that the people in your life acted as if your breasts were already "broken". That didn't help at all.
Breast reduction is something I see brought up quite a bit here. It's not unreasonable to pose it as an alternative to a double mastectomy to someone who wants to transition. After all, you could always get the rest removed later. 🤔
Thanks for sharing! You have a good point about going to therapy for this one specific thing. If someone is fairly confident about transitioning, then exploring their reasons for it (even just in the name of intellectual honesty) shouldn't be troubling.
I've been asking myself lots of questions about it, but a professional, outside perspective always helps. I'll start looking around.
They think detrans is anti-trans.
Sometimes you meet a detrans person who is outwardly hostile and transphobic. That's not okay, but I'm not willing to paint an entire group with such a broad brush. I would venture to guess most detrans people just want to be able to tell their stories without being harassed into oblivion, just like trans people want to tell their stories without being harassed into oblivion. If everyone is respectful, there's room for all our stories.
There can be a lot of...fantastical thinking in the trans/enby spaces (or really, the SRS community as a whole). Everyone gets so excited. So happy. While it's easy to understand why, I think we do a disservice to ourselves by not looking at the ugly parts of these surgeries.
For example, when I first looked into a mastectomy, the stories I heard were of super happy men/enbys, and "oh, healing takes a bit of time." Nobody mentioned the 18 - 25% (depending on who you ask) complication rate, mostly in the form of infection and nipple necrosis. Nobody mentioned dog ears, the possibility of chronic pain, or exactly what "decreased/loss of sensation" really means. Nobody told me a double mastectomy is a major surgery, even on sites advertising top surgeries. I legit thought it was more on the minor side.
Nobody mentioned that your areolas will stretch if you lift your arms too much in the first couple weeks after surgery. Nobody mentioned you need to be mindful to rotate your shoulders multiple times a day (or enjoy physical therapy when your shoulders freeze).
I had to find that myself. Were it not for detransers, I may not have found as much as I did.
Omg, I've heard about nipples falling off. Having one come off in the shower when you're finally getting to feel "human" again must be peak existential crisis.
I'm glad that one person made it through surgery. Unfortunately, that's true of all surgeries that require general anesthesia. :( It's a delicate balance between keeping you sedated and keeping you breathing and it only takes a moment to mess it up. But yeah, I've done my homework on which surgeon to go to and have found a good one. Will keep digging until there's no more dirt left to dig up.
You guys have me leaning toward a big reduction instead of a complete mastectomy. Still researching and still going to go to therapy, but it actually looks like, since I'm in my 30s with a healthy diet and no plans for pregnancy, a reduction isn't likely to grow back. Even if it did, it's more likely to be fat, and revisions are easier! Plus, going from Bs(?) to AAA or 28A would remove a lot of tissue and that doesn't grow back.
I'm going to bring this up in therapy (TMI incoming), but you guys have made me wonder if I hate my chest because it's kind of the outlier on my body. I'm built sort of...rectangularly petite. Shoulders and hips are close to the same width, not much of an ass...very short person overall...and then there are these sacks laying on my chest. One of them is appreciably bigger than the other. Maybe I don't need a masculinized chest, just a small one. Reduction is safer, too, in terms of longterm issues with sensation and pain.
Well, I've got months to consider it, or at least I'm going to wait until after therapy if reduction is the way I go. I really appreciate you and everyone else who responded because while I don't agree with everything all of you said, it's very thoughtful and not what I hear in the echo chamber.
You're right. It's just such a hard decision when you look down at your chest and hate it.
My hope is I'll find a therapist that pushes me as hard as they can. No mercy. No holding back. I mean...if I can find a way to at least feel neutral about my chest, there's no point in changing it. Right now, though? I'd at least want a very radical reduction. (The folks here have made me more open to the idea!)
Top surgery (aka double mastectomy) at least has some precedent, although that doesn't mean you're going to get perfect results, nor that there aren't any risks. The "contouring" to create a masculine appearance is the more experimental part.
Also, yeah, almost nobody is going to pass as cis with just top surgery. A lot of pro-transition people gloss over the other details required to pass, like masculinizing facial surgery, testosterone, and, if you really want to shoot for the moon, vocal cord shaving and bottom surgery.
I've seen bottom surgery photos and...phew. More power to these people, but I've looked at dozens, maybe hundreds, out of morbid curiosity and didn't see one that looked comfortable to walk around with. 50%+ complication rate, too.
I shotgunned about a dozen messages to different therapists. I'll shop around until I find one that tells me what I want to hear, which is stuff I don't necessarily want to hear!
I'm super open to a reduction although still leaning toward complete removal, but it'd have to be like an aaa, and my only concern is the darn breasts growing back. I'm not paying out the nose for something that can completely reverse itself.