This story is from the comments by /u/Liquid_Fire__ that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The user demonstrates consistent, nuanced, and personal engagement with the topic, sharing their own desister story and offering empathetic, detailed advice that aligns with the experiences and perspectives common in the detrans community. The language is natural, varied, and contextually appropriate over a significant period.
About me
I was a tomboy who never fit the feminine stereotype, and I started to believe that transitioning was my only escape from the pressures of being a woman. I spent years considering it, driven by a fantasy of becoming a 'real boy' to avoid misogyny and feel safe. I realized my desire wasn't to be male, but to escape the limitations placed on females, which was a crucial turning point. I am now a happy homosexual woman who has made peace with my body. I'm grateful I avoided permanent changes and finally understand that being a woman doesn't come with a rulebook.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started from a place of deep discomfort, but not with myself. I was uncomfortable with how the world treated me as a girl. I never woke up feeling like a woman; I just was one, and that came with a lot of baggage I didn't want. I was a tomboy from the start, with short hair, playing soccer with the boys, and I never understood why that was such a big deal to people. They'd always ask if I wanted to be a boy, and I didn't get the question. I was just me.
In college, I started spending time in gay and then trans spaces online, and that's where the idea was planted. It was like a sweetly worded lullaby that promised an escape from everything I found hard about being female. I wanted to be heard and listened to the way boys were. I wanted to feel safe walking down the street. I wanted my words to not be questioned. For years, I hesitated and paced myself, because I promised myself I wouldn't do anything until all my doubts were gone.
What ultimately stopped me from medically transitioning was realizing it was all based on idealized thoughts and a desire to escape, not to become my true self. I had this fantasy of pressing a magic button and becoming a real boy, but that's not what medical transition offers. I realized I would end up with a body covered in scars, and I'd still be small—I wouldn't be a real boy, and that fantasy would be shattered. My thoughts came from wanting to escape the female condition, not from a true male identity. Once I accepted that, the intrusive thoughts slowly went away.
Looking back, I see how much internalized misogyny and societal pressure played a role. Society made me believe women were less than men—not as strong, not as skilled, not as intelligent. I stopped wishing I’d been born a man when I finally understood that women are just as capable and strong, often more so. We don't need to change our bodies to have value. I also see now how my experience as a homosexual woman who didn't fit a feminine stereotype made the trans narrative appealing; it felt like an explanation for why I didn't fit in, rather than just accepting that women can be any way they want to be.
I benefited immensely from taking my time and from non-affirming therapy that encouraged me to find the root causes of my feelings. I never took hormones or had any surgeries, so I am lucky that I don't have to deal with serious health complications or infertility. I don't regret my social exploration because it led me to a place of greater self-acceptance, but I am so grateful I avoided permanent changes. I truly believe if I had been born just ten years later, the social pressure would have been immense, and I might have been swept up into a medical transition I would have deeply regretted.
My view on gender now is that it’s a social construct that often does more harm than good. The real progress we need is to expand what it means to be a man or a woman from within, not to encourage people to jump from one box to another. We should be breaking down the limitations, not reinforcing them by saying you need to change your body to fit a stereotype.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | Felt comfortable as a tomboy with short hair, preferred playing sports with boys. Was often asked if I wanted to be a boy and never understood the question. |
| College Age (approx. 18-22) | Started frequenting online gay and trans spaces. Was exposed to trans ideology and began to question my gender as a potential escape from societal pressures of being female. |
| Early 20s | Years of hesitation and self-questioning. Resisted pressure to transition by vowing to wait until all doubts were gone. |
| Mid 20s | Realized my desire to transition was based on escapism and idealized fantasies, not an innate male identity. Accepted my body and worked on overcoming internalized misogyny. |
| Present | Living comfortably as a homosexual woman. Focused on expanding my own understanding of what a woman can be, rather than changing myself to fit a stereotype. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/Liquid_Fire__:
On a grander scale of things, yes you have, in the sense that you were part of a movement trying to redefine what a woman is and demanding access to all safe spaces and services reserved to women (think of Yaniv suing female beauty estheticians because they refused to wax his balls when he went in pretending to be a woman and demanding a full wax).
On a local scale, it would have depended on your behaviour, whether or not you were claiming all of the above or just crossdressing, living your life in your corner while respecting women’s world, boundaries, safe spaces.
To answer your question : I feel unsafe.
Depending on where you live it is also very possible that they direct you towards women’s changing rooms and toilets because they don’t want to risk their job in case you decide to start screaming discrimination.
As for those who don’t let you in the men’s bathrooms and toilets, if you feel like you can’t use your deeper voice, invite them to feel your crotch and see their reaction 🤣
First of, big thanks for not entering women’s bathrooms!
Second, I understand that maybe you feel like if you detransition you won’t find someone else who could love you and that you could love back but like you said, remaining in that limbo that you want to leave just to appease him? No no. Big no no. Life is a journey and I’m convinced that we meet people all through our lives regardless of which stage we are.
The only person you have to please is you :)
You are living proof that they blatantly lie when they say it’s all easily reversible, you have all my sympathy! If you have means to save up looking at laser options could help you. Doing one thing per year to avoid one big bill. Like one year the chin, one year the upper lip, on year the arms etc. Don’t get discouraged!
It would actually help the world greatly if you shared your story globally. It would help shift people’s perspective and perception that all this was “care” and “necessary”.
The lobby keeps saying the percentage of those who regret is so low it doesn’t actually count or matter. But you matter!! You matter to your family and for a lot of unknown people that your story will help.
I can’t believe they’d fight you in a place like suicide watch! But then again it’s not surprising I guess as what they care about is their narrative and not the people involved.
If you are willing to, use that anger to spread awareness please! Especially to protect vulnerable kids!
Yeah had to leave that sub because of how misogynistic it is
I believe it’s because fighting to have mentalities evolve towards accepting that women are as deserving as men is a longterm game and people nowadays just want immediate effect for themselves. So they switch boxes instead of enlarging the women’s box from inside.
Data is not yet available for such a long period of time (since you are enquiring about 40+ years) but the damages caused are already known and with time they should only get worse. If you can manage without pumping your body full of hormones your body will thank you.
Hi. I appreciate your honesty and therefore I will answer equally honestly. Zero harsh tone. Yes I do consider this a safe space. No I don’t expect to see non-questioning trans identified people posting here. Yes your presence makes me uncomfortable. However since you express your willingness to keep yourself educated I guess you can be a silent reader if it serves your expressed purpose.
There’s a saying in my mother tongue that says that behind every great man, there is a woman. Meaning that the greatness that men achieve is due to a woman who did the heavy lifting in the shadows.
When in doubt I remind myself of that.
Up to us to keep showing the world women are as capable as men, and they don’t need to adopt other behaviors to do it.