This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments display:
- Specific, consistent personal history: Details about being on testosterone for 4 years, having top surgery, and getting glottoplasty are repeated and expanded upon over time.
- Plausible emotional nuance: The user expresses complex feelings like regret, self-forgiveness, and the difficult process of detransitioning.
- Practical, detailed advice: The user gives specific recommendations on vocal surgery recovery, hair regrowth, and dating, which aligns with the shared experiences of detransitioners.
The account shows no signs of automated posting, contradictory facts, or scripted rhetoric that would indicate it is not a real person.
About me
I transitioned to male in my early twenties and was on testosterone for four years before having a moment of clarity that made me stop. I deeply regret my top surgery and spent all my savings on voice surgery to try and reverse the changes from testosterone. I've realized my transition was driven by self-hatred and that I'm actually a lesbian, not a man. It's been a painful year of detransitioning, with my body slowly changing back. I'm finally learning to forgive myself and see that I was perfect all along.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was a long and complicated one, and looking back, I wish I had taken a different path. I was on testosterone for four years and had top surgery. I started living as male in my early twenties and was happy with it for a long time, but I never felt completely settled. I was always uncertain about whether getting bottom surgery would make me feel complete or if I would just feel like an imposter forever.
A specific moment that really made me think was when I was out shopping with my sister in September 2019. I saw some clothes that I used to love wearing and I got this sudden, deep pang of sadness that I felt like I couldn't wear them anymore. That feeling stuck with me for over a year and was a big part of why I decided to stop testosterone in December 2020.
A huge issue for me was my voice. Being on T gave me a voice that caused me a lot of pain and discomfort. I eventually had glottoplasty surgery to try and get my old voice back, partly because I missed my singing voice. It cost me all my savings, and the surgeons were very clear that it was a risk, especially for singing. They said there was no guarantee I'd be able to sing again. I had the surgery anyway because I needed to do it for my mental health. I was lucky; my speaking voice is now similar to how it was before I transitioned, and I even got some of my higher singing range back, though my powerful chest voice is changed forever. I know now that extensive vocal training with a specialist can get people really good results, and I sometimes wonder if I should have tried that for longer first.
Another physical change I’ve been dealing with is my hairline. After I stopped T, I noticed peach fuzz starting to grow back along my old hairline. It’s a slow process, but it’s coming in as proper hair now. I’ve learned that we notice these things about ourselves way more than anyone else does; I feel like I’m 90% forehead sometimes, but my friends and family say they never would have thought about it if I hadn’t pointed it out.
Looking back, I think a lot of my drive to transition came from a place of self-hatred. I see old pictures of myself now and it breaks my heart wondering why I hated how I looked so much. I wish I’d had more therapy or other forms of help instead of rushing into medical transition. The best advice I got was from my mum, who told me that you can be whoever you want to be without changing yourself, that you are perfect as you are. I really wish I had listened to her back then.
I also had to unpack my attraction to men. For me, it turned out that a lot of what I was feeling was what I thought I was 'supposed' to feel because of societal pressures. It took me until my thirties to realise that I'm probably a lesbian. I sometimes joke that if I'd just tried dating women instead of transitioning, I could have saved myself a lot of trouble. My advice now is to learn to love your own body first before worrying about how others will see it.
Dating has actually been much easier for me as a detransitioned person than it ever was when I was living as a trans man. I have two top surgery scars instead of breasts, and people really don't seem to care as much as I thought they would.
It’s been a painful process detransitioning, almost a year now since I stopped T. My skin has softened, my face shape is slowly changing back, and I’ve only recently started to notice I have a waist again. It takes a long time. The most important thing for me has been learning to forgive myself. I literally look in the mirror and tell myself I’m sorry and that everything will be okay eventually. It’s a process, but I’m starting to see the light.
| Age | Date | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 20/21 | ~2015 | Began living socially as male. |
| 21 | ~2016 | Started taking testosterone (Nedido shot every 3 months). |
| 24/25 | ~2019 | Had top surgery. |
| 25 | Sep 2019 | Shopping trip with sister; pivotal moment of sadness over not wearing old clothes. |
| 25 | Dec 2020 | Had my last testosterone shot and began detransition. |
| 26 | Jul 2021 | Underwent glottoplasty surgery for my voice. |
| 26 | Jan 2022 | ~10.5 months off testosterone; physical changes slowly continuing. |
Top Comments by /u/Livinginadaisydaze:
I feel like I could have written this whole post, honestly. I was on T for 4 years and had top surgery. But I'm almost a year into my detransition now and starting to see the light. In another year, it will be so different again. It's a process, and painful, but I found that learning to forgive myself was the thing that helped the most - I literally look in the mirror and tell myself I'm sorry, and that everything will be okay eventually. I hope things improve for you.
This could easily have been my story, and honestly I wish I'd had more therapy or other forms of help rather than transitioning because it breaks my heart looking back at how I used to look and wondering why on earth I hated myself.
The best advice I can give comes from something my mum said to me, which I wish I'd listened to back then - that you can be whoever or whatever you want to be, and you don't ever have to change yourself to do it. You are you, and you are perfect.
As for the attraction to men, I also relate to that. I unpacked it all eventually and for me personally, it turned out that I was experiencing what I felt like I was 'supposed' to, due to societal pressures. It also turns out I'm probably a lesbian, but it took me until my 30s to realise that (perhaps if I'd just dated women instead of transitioning, I could have saved myself all this trouble, hah). My advice on dating and relationships; get to love your own body first, and then others can enjoy it with you later, when you are comfortable.
Try different ways of presenting, see how you feel. Don't do anything permanent unless you're 100% certain. Good luck :)
As other commenters have suggested, I find men don't really tend to care too much (or women, for that matter!)
Dating as a detrans person is a ridiculous amount easier (for me) than dating as a trans person - and I had top surgery so have 2 scars instead of boobs and people are still fine with it x
I made a comment on another thread on this topic recently. In short - I have had the surgery, I have no regrets, your speaking voice is likely to be similar to how it was pre-T, but your singing voice is likely to have changed forever.
Here's a link to the comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/detrans/comments/rjg72o/comment/hqythwe/
I can relate to this. I did actually get a glottoplasty surgery partly because of singing, but there were other reasons as well and my surgeon told me very plainly that there was absolutely no guarantee I'd be able to sing at all after the surgery, and it was never recommended for singers. But, for other reasons as well, I had the surgery anyway, back in July. My voice is still recovering now. I have "head voice" back that I lost with T, but if you're a chest singer who does big powerful notes then you will not have the voice you used to. Glottoplasty will remove the gravelly undertones that makes you sound male when adding power from the diaphragm, though. Speaking, I sound similar to how I did pre transition, but my singing voice I expect has been changed forever. I will be working on it, as it's still relatively early days (6 months), but yeah, that's my experience with it. If it's important to you, it's possibly a risk worth taking, but there are no guarantees at all and I might have just been lucky to get my higher head voice back.
There can be some success with it (glottoplasty, not the other one), but only if you do extensive vocal training before and after - and most people seem to do well on the vocal training alone. I'm considering the surgery purely to regain the power in my singing voice, but I'm planning to have all the vocal training first for both speaking and singing and seeing how that goes for a couple of years first. Best of luck x
Heya! I was on Nedido, shot every 3 months for 4 years & I had my last one early December.
I have noticed that my hair line is starting to grow back in. All I do is moisturize the area each night before bed. My hair and nails have always grown incredibly quickly so unless yours do too then expect slower results, but there is definitely hope for some hair regrowth without doing anything medical. It was last month I first noticed the peach fuzz type hair around my old hairline, and that is now beginning to come through as proper hair. It is likely to be a slow process.
In the meantime, experiment with different hair styles, maybe even get a hairpiece (like a 3/4 wig) if you want longer hair, and just trust that nobody will notice your hairline as much as you do. I often feel like I'm 90% forehead, but my friends and family say they wouldn't have thought about it if I hadn't pointed it out lol. So, I know it's difficult, but try to remember that we see these things much more than others do <3
I relate to this so much, especially the singing part. I am now recovering from vocal surgery because I just couldn't go on with that voice and the pain it caused me. It cost all my savings but I have MY voice back now, and I actually have my old singing voice back as well (though please don't count on that because it doesn't happen for everyone, they actually warned me it could ruin my singing voice forever but, like you, I needed to do it anyway).
People can get pretty good results from vocal therapy alone with a good SLT who specialises in transgender voice. If you're UK I can suggest people but otherwise I can't... but honestly, glottoplasty probably saved my mental health.
It's very much an individual experience. I've been off T for about 10.5 months now after being on for 4 years - my skin has got a lot softer in the face now but it's still going, my face has been slowly changing shape, but it was only recently that I started to notice I have an actual waist again. Unfortunately it's not something that happens quickly and I'm not sure I saw any difference after a few months either. Hang in there x
Shopping with my sister. It was September 2019 and I'd been happily living as male for about 4 or 5 years at that point, but I had a sudden pang of sadness that I couldn't wear the clothes I used to like any more. It was a weird feeling and I thought about it for over year before deciding to quit T in December 2020. I'd been happy living as male but I never felt "complete" and was very uncertain about whether lower surgery would ever make me feel that or if I'd just feel like an imposter forever - but yeah, for me it was clothes!