This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "LizardsAndLimes" appears to be authentic. The user demonstrates a consistent, deeply personal narrative of detransitioning (FTMTF) over a span of several months. The comments reflect complex emotional reasoning, personal growth, and nuanced opinions that are characteristic of a real person processing a difficult experience. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the stated harm and stigma faced by detransitioners.
No serious red flags suggest this is a bot or an inauthentic account. The writing style is consistent, emotionally varied, and contains personal anecdotes and reflections that would be difficult to fabricate convincingly. The account does not appear to be a propaganda tool, as it even criticizes conservatives who try to use detrans stories for an agenda.
About me
I started believing I was a trans man at 14 after online friends told me my hatred for feminine expectations meant I wasn't a real woman. My transition was an attempt to escape the powerlessness I associated with being female and a traumatic home life. I started testosterone at 18, but I eventually realized my happiness came from a better environment, not from the hormones, and I felt like a fraud. When I detransitioned, my former friends abandoned me, which was incredibly isolating and painful. Now I'm learning to accept myself as a masculine woman and heal from the experience.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was messy and complicated, and it started when I was really young. From about 14 to 19, I was convinced I was a trans man. Looking back, I see now that a lot of it came from a place of deep unhappiness and confusion, not from actually being born in the wrong body.
I grew up in an abusive home where I was forced into very feminine roles. I hated it. I hated being told what to wear and how to act, and I started to associate being a woman with being weak, inferior, and powerless. Around the same time, I found a community online, mostly on Tumblr, where I talked about how much I hated these expectations. My online friends immediately told me that my hatred for being feminine meant I must be a trans man. They said no "real woman" would hate that stuff so much. It clicked for me in a bad way. I thought, "Yeah, that makes sense. I'm not a woman; I'm a man." I started using he/him pronouns right away and even got a binder.
I think a big part of it was that I wanted the power I thought came with being a man. I didn't just want to be a man; I wanted to be a hot, successful, confident man that everyone admired. I saw men as having better lives and more respect, and I was a feminist but deep down, I had this internalized sexism where I saw women as lesser. Transitioning felt like an escape from a life I hated.
When I moved out at 18 for college, I started testosterone. For a while, I felt happier, but I realize now it was because my environment was better. I had a good job and new, supportive friends. The happiness wasn't coming from the hormones. I started to realize I still hated who I was. On T, I didn't look like a man; I didn't look like a woman either. I looked like something in-between, and people would sometimes call me "it." I felt like a fraud because I knew I could never truly be a real man. It was a painful and expensive process, and I was wasting money on T and saving for top surgery that I could have used for therapy or rent.
The turning point was when I was about 20. I moved to the city and started seeing butch lesbian women who were confident and happy. It made me realize that I could just be a masculine woman. That was an option I never felt I had before. I began to understand that my desire to transition was based on my own biases and trauma, not on a true identity. I started the process of detransitioning, which meant stopping hormones and asking people to use she/her pronouns again.
Detransitioning was a lonely experience. The same trans friends who had supported me when I came out as trans completely abandoned me when I detransitioned. They shunned me, blocked me, and even made hate posts about me online. It was really traumatic. I felt like my entire support system vanished overnight because I didn't fit their narrative anymore. I got support in small doses from other friends, but mostly, I felt isolated. It’s frustrating because our stories are often ignored or silenced by the trans community, who sometimes see us as traitors or as being used by conservatives, when really, we're just people sharing our honest experiences.
I don't regret my journey because it led me to where I am now, but I deeply regret transitioning. I regret the years I lost and the money I spent. I wish someone had told me that those picture-perfect transitions you see online are rare and require a lot of money and pain. I wish someone had told me it was okay to be a butch, masculine woman. Now, I'm learning to love myself as a woman. My voice is still deep from testosterone, but I'm learning to accept it. I have body image issues, but I'm working on them. My thoughts on gender now are that it's a personal journey, but it shouldn't be pushed on people, especially young kids who are just struggling with puberty discomfort or self-esteem issues. For me, transitioning was a want, not a need, and it wasn't the solution to my problems.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Started believing I was a trans man after influence from online friends. |
| 14-18 | Socially transitioned to male, using he/him pronouns and a binder. |
| 18 | Moved out for college and started testosterone (T). |
| 19-20 | Realized transitioning wasn't making me happy and began to understand my internalized issues. |
| 20 | Stopped T and began detransitioning back to living as a woman. |
| 20+ | Working on self-acceptance and healing from the experience. |
Top Comments by /u/LizardsAndLimes:
Dude I know eXACTLY where you're coming from. When I began telling the people around me I wanted to be refereed to by she/her pronouns again and that I no longer identified as a guy I was instantly blocked and shunned by friends in the trans community I knew for years. It helped me realize who my real friends were but it hurt me sooooo bad for soooo long, and I'm still not fully over it? How could I be right? Friends you know and talk to for years just suddenly flicking a switch and abandoning you because you're "a problem for the trans community"
It shocked me how quickly the same people who preached "explore gender! gender is fake! do what ever! love everyone!" abandoned me and sent me hate after I started coming out with it.
Sorry for the partial rant I just- know exaCtlY what you mean.
ExaCTLY. This is one of the reasons why I fell so hard into my trans identity for so loNg.
They always preach exploring gender is important but it's only important when it's exploring going from nonbinary to agender to genderqueer to what ever. I remember considering that I was just cis and feeling like I just attacked myself, the word has such a sour taste in my mind because of how the community treated it.
I really really hate saying this but it really iS a "hivemind mentality" deal. You canT think anything outside their ideals, question it and if you tALK matureLY to people outside and actually talk to a "terf" like a human you're "sympathizing with a bigot" or some shit. Demonizing people outside your line of thinkin iS VERY CULTY.
Theyre young and pretty now but once theyre in their 30's and naturally begin to "retire" appearance wise and in the amount of shits they give theyll realize it was a mistake...
Lets hope that testosterone you took in college was worth barely being able to pay rent and eat... wasnt for me.
Yes. Hard yes. Especially the "when I was weighing transition I was recommended tons of validating trans articles, spaces, youtubers, you name it. It was awfully convenient." part because that was exactly my situation my last 4 years.
Since I actively have to cater to my friends perspectives and views so I don't upset/anger them it still hasnt changed.
It's why I come to Reddit, I've found myself on a platform of exploration of opinion and perspective which is something I really actively strive for. It's become painfully easy to be stuck in a circle jerk on the internet these days and despite us having more access then ever to so many different ways of thinking it's become more black/white us/them then ever.
The only reason I began to tread outside these mentalities is for the same reason I became an atheist. Pure curiosity to see and try to "debunk" the opposing sides views. When I identified as a trans male I was hard in my views and very stubborn in them, it's sad but it's only recently that I've begun exploring outside my recommended feed. It's a strange new divide for us to yet acknowledge because we're get so offended when something outside our values is shown to us.
My voice is still deep too but it's something I've learned to accept and love. I've known a few women in my life with naturally deep voices and remembering them helped me cope.
I know it's hard but- try to find ways to love your voice. I haven't actually researched it because I personally don't feel the need but I've seen other people posting here their experiences with pitching their voices and exercising their vocal cords and it's helped them a bit. It is a lot of work but learn to love your identity again and love yourself and who you are.
Thank you so much Op for being a voice of reason. It's actually incredibly refreshing to see.
It saddens me that you need to make a disclaimer for your community like this but I for one truly appreciate it.
I've been in the midst of a pure overexposure to hate from the trans community for this sub and our experiences and it's gotten incredibly frustrating to not even be able to defend myself and the people who share my story. We truly truly need allys like you in the trans community who are understanding and mature enough to just sit down and listen to what we have to say instead of throwing our experiences away.
So honestly to you and those like you, I do truly thank you for your sensibility.
I'm so sorry to hear OP, but know you're not alone. This is the sub for you, to ask questions openly and find support. We know what you're going through and we're here to support you through it. You are still worthy of love from a partner and you can still have children, if not now because of finances, one day. Don't give up those hopes and dreams for yourself.
We can't tell you what to do, only you know what's best for you. But theres plenty of options left for you, you're not stuck like a lot of us once thought we were.
As a detrans man who's gone through the process over the last year and a half, honestly i'll tell you, you probably wont receive that much support. It is a lonely experience. But you can't let that stop you if this is what you feel you want. You will receive support, but it'll be in short dosses from people who don't really know what box to put you in.
Being detrans is pretty difficult, people can't confront feelings of doubt. You'll get conservatives trying to use you to push their agenda, and trans people trying to tell you you're only going through doubts of being trans that are ingrained into you by society. Youll be pushed and shoved into what ever label people want you to be in.
Nobody can tell you what to do but you, only you know what makes you happy dude. Remember you do have this community of people who understand what you're going through and we're here to help each other because only we can relate to this- honestly unique experience of transitioning only to realize it's not what we truly needed.
So I don't know if you have Netflix and can watch The Mind Explained or watch some youtube documentations on how- actually dumb but fascinating our brains are but-
But if you do you'll realize that the human brain is a product of your surrounding and your experiences. You can literally convince your brain to think- anYThing you want. Anything.
The same way people convince themselves theyre trans just cuz they feel like it people can convince themselves anything despite contradictory evidence. The Earths flat, dinosaurs are a product of the devil meant to misguide you, vaccines are spread by the Illuminati, eating dirt cures cancer, what ever. It's pseudoscience meant to promote an agenda and on occasion for the purpose of coping mechanisms like I personally believe you're using it as. People with no experience in sciences will see these charts, graphs, discussions, articles and not be able to refute them because they don't understand them, so they agree along with it because it fits in their world view and sometimes political leanings.
You can convince yourself you aren't nonbinary, because the truth to the outside world is- you're not, you're a girl.
I detransitioned after I realized the whole reason i transitioned in the first place was because I was a product of what was happening around me. I was a lonely high schooler, I hated being pushed to be a feminine woman, I hated being "weaker" and "inferior" as a woman, I just decided one day that the escape i needed was to believe I wasnt this thing I hated. I associated women with inferiority, so when I was called a woman I was offended, hurt, I hated it, I heard "she/her" pronouns the same way you hear a slur thrown at you. I began identifying as a trans male to escape that hurt in my association.
It was my own biases that made me transition, coupled with a toxic online community who told me my biases and rooted sexism meant I was a trans man. "you hate being a women? ahh youre gender queer then!" "youre a man!" "obviously youre trans! welcome to the community!" I felt good in a community that was friendly to me for something they assumed me to be. Not for who I was. Just a self hating teen.
Your brain is fascinating, and it's also really really dumb. Know that with time you CAN convince yourself to love who you are from birth. You CAN love being a woman. You CAN be what ever and who ever you want to be as a woman.
Nobody can tell you you're not trans. You figure your life out and who you are for yourself. And you don't let any outside force define you.
I'm a detrans ftm, when I was 14-19 I was convinced by online communities I was trans because I was a boyish looking girl. I later realized what I really wanted was the power that came with being a hot dude.
I hated being a women, but i ended up hating being what I had become even more. I didnt look like a man, I didnt look like a woman. I looked like a strange in between who'd get regularly called an "it". I didnt feel like a "real dude" i knew i could never truly be a man. It was only when I was 20 that I came to accept I was just a butch masc woman who was shamed into thinking thats a bad thing to be.
WHAT I WISH, somebody told me, was that those super successful FtM transitions you see online are a RARITY. Theyre from people who have the money and time and patience to deal with the pain that comes with transitioning.
I didnt want to be a man because of dysphoria, I wanted to be a hot/pretty man. Transitioning IS PAIN. It's MONEY. It's hAZaRDOUS. You have so many bigger problems in life, don't make transitioning something to worry about.
I wasted years of my life and so much money i could have used to pay my tuition and rent going through a phase of my life I deeply have regretted.
You make your own choices but hear the stories of people like me who've gone through this process and have REGRETTED IT.